What are the wedding customs in China?

1. Drinking wine and getting married

The word "合卺" is unfamiliar to modern people. However, the "wine exchange" between the groom and the bride is very familiar to everyone who has been married or attended a wedding. "Hehuan" means that newlyweds drink Hehuan wine together in the bridal chamber. The word "卺" means "floating". A gourd is cut into two gourds, and the bride and groom each take one for drinking. This is called Hexin. The Hexin began in the Zhou Dynasty. Later generations used the gourd as a treat, and the gourd is a bitter and inedible food. , used to hold wine must be bitter wine. Therefore, the husband and wife drinking Hexin wine together not only symbolizes that the husband and wife have become one and have been married forever, but also has the profound meaning of letting the bride and groom share the joys and sorrows. As recorded in the "Book of Rites": "So when we are united, we share the same dignity and inferiority, and we are close to each other."

After the Song Dynasty, the ceremony of joining the 卺 evolved into the newlyweds drinking each other's cups of wine together. "Tokyo Menghualu: Marrying a Wife" records: The newlyweds "use two cups connected with colorful knots, and drink from each other's cups, which is called a cup. After drinking, they throw the cup and the flower crown and dry it under the bed. If it is auspicious, everyone will congratulate, and then the tents will be closed." The symbolic meaning of this ceremony is profound.

Use colored silk or colored paper to connect two wine glasses. The man and woman change their names and each drinks a glass, symbolizing that the couple will be connected and become one. Of course, in many cases, "only the bride is too shy to get a taste of it." (Republic of China: "Jie County Chronicles")

After drinking, throw the cup under the bed to see if it is in harmony. If the wine cup happens to be tilted up and closed, it symbolizes the man bending over and the woman tilting up, happy intercourse, and heaven. Over the earth, this harmony of yin and yang is obviously auspicious. During the period of the Republic of China, after people in Shanxi got married and worshiped heaven and earth, they would "leave into the bridal chamber, the son-in-law goes first, gets on the bed and steps on the four corners, the bride then enters, sits in the back corner of the bed, drinks a cup of wine, it is the day of 'union', after the day of the nun, there is still a day to pay homage to the ancestors and meet the aunt Yong." The waiting ceremony is usually performed on the day after the wedding." (Republic of China: "Fushan County Chronicles")

Today, at the weddings of young people in rural Shanxi, it is essential to exchange glasses of wine, but the form is much simpler than in ancient times. After each pouring the wine, the man and woman hook their arms together, look at each other, and drink the wine in one gulp amid warmth and joyful laughter, either in the bridal chamber or in the wedding hall, hotel, or restaurant. According to folk customs, drinking wine is held in the bridal chamber, so the marriage ceremony is connected with entering the bridal chamber. However, no matter how different the expressions of this custom are, the meaning and mentality are the same, and the knot will always be good and inseparable. It implies that it will have an impact on the long-term married life of newlyweds.

When people are in a wedding in a remote mountain village, no matter how difficult people's lives are, through the laughter overflowing with glasses of wine, we can see people's steadfastness in love and yearning for a better life.

According to wedding customs, after drinking a glass of wine, a hair-tying ceremony is often held. In ancient times, the hair knot was called a bun, which was made from the hair of newlyweds and men. The newlyweds sat together on the bed, with the man on the left and the woman on the right. However, this ceremony is only valid for the first marriage of the couple and does not apply to those who remarry. People often talk about married couples, which refers to couples with original spouses. Taking concubines and continuing marriages cannot receive the honorific title of married couples.

In ancient wedding customs, tying hair had a very solemn meaning. Later, this custom gradually disappeared, but the term tying hair remained. Couples who tie their hair are respected by people. It symbolizes the beautiful meaning that the couple will never be separated. It is like exchanging glasses of wine. It is still fully affirmed and praised by most people in rural areas.

In an era when men could take concubines and raise concubines, married couples were particularly prominent. As a result, no matter whether you are a farmer in the early days, a new scholar in the emperor's hall at dusk, or a businessman and landlord who makes a sudden fortune, when you are trying to get rich, looking for flowers, or taking concubines, you must generally maintain a certain degree of respect for married couples.

In the psychology and emotions of the Chinese people, from ancient times to the present, for thousands of years, they have attached great importance to married couples.

Because hair knot means "first time". When men and women are not close to each other, and people have only a handful of friends of the opposite sex in their lives, getting married means accepting the novelty of the opposite sex for the first time, giving out a knowing smile for the first time, and tasting the happiness of love for the first time. , formed a family of his own for the first time. So, no matter what, this first time is precious and worth cherishing.

In addition. The hair knot also has deep meanings recognized by society such as solemnity, sanctity, providence, fate, etc. On this basis, both parties to the marriage have a sense of obligation and responsibility.

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2. The secret of making trouble in the bridal chamber< /p>

The wedding ceremony is the last step of the wedding and an indispensable part of any wedding. It is the climax of the wedding and the most lively and interesting program.

On the wedding night, relatives and friends sit around the room and tease the bride in every possible way, calling them "making trouble in the house" and "playing with the bride". There are various ways of making trouble, with similarities and differences in different places. In summary, it can be divided into two types: Wen Nao and Wu Nao. Wen Nao is a more elegant way, often asking the bride to tell riddles and pairs, asking her to tell her love experiences and things about men and women that are not usually seen in the mouth. Shanxi folk are called "Shuo Lingzi", which is full of fun and makes the bride unable to answer. And they make a fool of themselves just to have fun. "On that night, the good people often used humorous words as lyrics, and forced the bride to sing it, which was called 'making room'. Recently, the situation has become more serious, and the enthusiasm of celebration is used as a joke, which is very disrespectful." (Republic of China: " Yicheng County Chronicle) Wu Nao uses a relatively rough method, not only uttering obscene words, but also touching and touching the bride, which is quite mischievous.

During the wedding ceremony, people of the same generation, juniors, relatives, friends, classmates and colleagues crowded into the bridal chamber, laughing and having fun, especially the groom’s friends. They tried their best and came up with various ways to make the bride public. Performances are made to make people laugh. As the saying goes, "Nothing lasts until three days." Anyone can make trouble except for parents. During this period, casual relationships between people are allowed by etiquette and customs, and many taboos are lifted, much like the carnival in Western culture. Therefore, no matter how much fun it is, no matter how hard it is to accept, the bride must never turn against her and get angry. If the person who makes trouble in the wedding ceremony is angry and goes away, it will be regarded as the bride's willfulness, which will make her unpopular and her future situation will not be easy.

Having a wedding ceremony is a way to congratulate newlyweds. In folk customs, people believe that foxes and ghosts are often present in the bridal chamber. In order to chase away the Yin energy of evil spirits and enhance the Yang energy of people, they only cause trouble in the bridal chamber. Therefore, the folk saying goes, "People are not haunted by ghosts."

Housemaking is also a functional test for newlyweds, including wit and patience. It was originally a "junior test", but it is often taken too far among the people and has become a bad custom.

The custom of having sex in the bridal chamber has a very ancient origin. "Hanshu" records that "on the eve of the wedding in Yan land, men and women are no different and only feel proud." ("Hanshu", "Geography") The custom may have originated from "listening to the house". On the wedding night, relatives and friends eavesdrop on the words and movements of the new wife outside the bridal chamber window. People are only interested in the love between a man and a woman. From a sexual psychology perspective, this behavior seems to be exactly what Freud calls "obscenity". Later, it gradually evolved into teasing the bride in the bridal chamber. This custom became popular in the Tang Dynasty and became popular among the people. Not only the groom's relatives, but also guests and friends had the right to tease the bride. Even strangers who were not related to the bride could stop her halfway, comment on her, touch her and make fun of her. This custom has changed from individual behavior to collective behavior since ancient times.

Looking at the custom of having a bridal chamber, the psychological motivations that drive people to attend weddings and have bridal chambers are complex.

First of all, this is an externalization of people's sexual consciousness and subconscious impulse. People show some kind of teasing towards the opposite sex from the drama and caressing of women. After venting it, they can Overcome the psychology of envy and jealousy in order to achieve a certain balance of sex in the "subconscious" realm. This kind of attitude and behavior towards the opposite sex is strictly restricted in normal times, and having a bridal chamber just provides an opportunity.

Secondly, having trouble with the bridal chamber is a product of arranged marriage in traditional marriages. Because only after the wedding ceremony can the excited groom take off the bride's red scarf. The newlyweds had never known each other before, had no friendship, and had no emotional communication. They fell in love at the first meeting. Obviously Strange and embarrassing. Therefore, the custom of having a wedding ceremony can eliminate the distance and strangeness between each other, coordinate the tension between the two people, and harmonize their feelings. Undoubtedly, the bridal chamber is a necessary preparation before the 100-meter race.

Furthermore, driven by the psychological trend of prosperity, most newlywed families have a dual mentality of suffering from the troubles of relatives and friends, but also being happy to let them make troubles.

House-making can make relatives and friends on both sides get acquainted, show that the family is full of guests and friends, prosperous, and enhance communication and affection between relatives and friends, as well as harmony among neighbors.

Business is the aesthetic ideal of Chinese life, and making a scene in the bridal chamber is just the way to achieve this.

Only when it is noisy can we create a festive atmosphere. Noisy is a happy scene and a symbol of joy and prosperity. Only when it is noisy and noisy can there be a market for celebrations, great opportunities for making money, and a large number of people. thriving.

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3. Bridal virginity test< /p>

In China, sexual behavior is highly restricted by customs. Not only do people show great interest in open, legal sexual relations, but the norms of custom seek to penetrate every crevice of our lives.

In the Book of Songs, we can talk about many stories of women eloping with their lovers. At least in the time of Confucius, the sexual relations between men and women in the upper class of society were as chaotic as the fallen Roman times. At that time, divorce was easy, remarriage was not difficult, and the virginity of young girls was not a matter of particular concern.

However, with the rise of Confucianism, especially after the proliferation of Neo-Confucianism in the Song Dynasty, women were considered responsible for social morality. Neo-Confucianists forced women to live in a closed world, and it was moral for widows to remarry. The sins in the world value the chastity of women extremely.

Since then, the Chinese people’s worship of women’s chastity has become a psychological obsession. An egregious example of this obsession is the so-called "bridal chamber virginity test." This custom turns the bride's chastity into a naked virginity test that is verified on the spot and witnessed by everyone. Sadly, the groom does not think this is a desecration of his emotions, and neither does the bride. I don't think it's an insult to my personality. Customs have distorted people's minds.

The custom of testing virginity in the bridal chamber is known among the people as "testing red" and "conferring scarf", which has existed since ancient times. It is usually a white scarf given by the mother of the bride to her daughter or son-in-law on the wedding day. It is used for the first sexual intercourse. It is also called "hikerchief" among the people.

In the old days, weddings in all dynasties included the gift of a scarf. In some places, such as Guangdong, after the ceremony, the bride and groom close the door and enter the room to make love in the clouds and rain, while the groom's parents, relatives and friends wait quietly outside the door. After the romance, the groom holds a red plate in his hand, with the towel given to him on the plate, covered with The red handkerchief showed that the bride was a virgin, and everyone was very happy, congratulated one after another, and sent roast pig to the bride's family. Before this, the mother-in-law's family had been worried, fearing that the bride would lose her virginity.

Since the rupture of the hymen has become the only criterion for testing virginity, once the virginity is not seen, the groom and his family will attribute it to the bride's infidelity, at least psychologically, there will be great suspicion and discord. , forming a diaphragm. In the light case, the bride will be speechless, humiliated for life, and have no status in front of her husband's family and husband. In the more serious case, the matchmaker will send the woman back to her natal family.

It is a common concept in Chinese society to attach importance to virginity. The literati who are good at observation endowed it with a romantic mood.

Wang Shifu's "The Romance of the West Chamber", after describing the tryst between Zhang Sheng and Cui Yingying, specifically mentioned the fragrant towel. He wrote:

"(Backyard Flower) Chunluo Erying White, I see red and tender colors early, I look down under the lamp, with flesh on my chest, I feel so happy, my whole body is full of peace, I don’t know where spring comes from."

The playwright Tang Xianzu wrote in his " The colorful dialogue of "Handan Dream" says: "A good couple enters the bridal chamber to spend time with candles... The river invades the guest's river and captures them violently. There is no matchmaker and the Weaver Girl is willing to marry. Don't worry about it, don't sigh, Duoxi Tanlang is astonished. The beauty is smiling and blowing the silver wax. Tonight I sleep with the blue window screen, and tomorrow I look at the fragrant Luopa." Tao Zongyi's "The Record of Stopping Farming" records that a man did not see his virginity after marrying. , the scholar Yuan Keqian gave him a poem like a dream: "Tonight is a feast, I will draw the fragrance again. When spring has gone, I will ask you very red, deep red and light. If you don't see me, I will return you a piece of white silk."

< p>Today, in rural areas of Shanxi, the custom of checking for red is no longer common. But in some places, on the morning after the wedding, a red white towel is often placed in a visible place outside the new house to show outsiders that the bride is a virgin.

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4. Wedding Customs

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The complete wedding customs in ancient times include the six rituals of nacai, asking for names, naji, nazheng, asking for dates, and personally welcoming.

However, since the Ming and Qing Dynasties, the complete six rites in Shanxi have ceased to exist. As recorded in a large number of local chronicles, "Weddings vary from place to place. Of the six rites, only four remain: asking for names, accepting gifts, asking for dates, It’s just a personal greeting, but there are also those who don’t.” (Qianlong: "Pingyang Mansion")

After liberation, the old and new wedding forms alternated, and the new wedding forms gradually replaced the old ones. The new, more civilized and modern wedding form has been implemented in various parts of Shanxi during the Republic of China. As a new wedding custom, we describe it in detail as follows:

"Marriage certificates are still used in the traditional way. The wedding ceremony involves a red card, but the officiant, witness, introducer, groom, and bride all sign their names. The wedding ceremony involves setting up a ceremony table in front of the court, playing music, and the master of ceremonies sits facing the north and sings: "Male and female guests." Everyone in the male and female tribes sits at the table and stands in the south. Everyone in the male and female tribes sits on the table and stands in the east and west. Those who witness marriages and introduces sit in the south and stand in the south. Everyone in the wedding ceremony sits in the north. The male and female guests look at each other. The bride and groom stand facing the north. The witnesses read the certificates and exchange ornaments for the bride and groom. They bow to the east and west. /p>

The host and the bride-to-be give speeches and mottos, the groom and the bride thank the bride and groom, and bow three times.

The male and female guests give eulogies, present flowers, and play music. < /p>

The groom and the bride gave a speech of thanks and bowed.

The female guest representatives sang a civilized wedding song.

The witnesses, introducers, male guests, and female guests all left. .

The groom and the bride meet the male and female officiants and the entire male and female clan to perform a ceremony. Music is played. The male and female officiants and the elders stand facing south and bow three times. The male and female members of the male clan stand facing east and bow twice. The entire female clan performs a greeting ceremony, facing each other and bowing.

The male and female concubines lead the groom and the bride away. Everyone retreats. The ceremony is over and the banquet is over." ("Linfen County Chronicles" in the 12th year of the Republic of China)

The wedding customs in rural Shanxi today are generally the same, but they are more distinctive in content and form.