Humorous language stories

People like to read humorous stories because people who know humor must be wise people, because humor represents a satisfied attitude towards life. Here are some humorous language stories I recommend for you.

Humorous language story 1: Princess Tiefan gets rich well.

I struggled to raise Hong Haier, thinking about raising my son to prevent old age, and my son couldn't help it. Hong Haier 16 years old, went to the south to work. Then work hard. Why go to Huo Yundong to join the underworld? As a result, Monkey Sun encouraged Guanyin Bodhisattva to take it away. Being a civil servant in Guanyin Bodhisattva is not bad, but it is rare to go home once a year or so. Forget it if the child doesn't come home. You said you were a poor boy of Guanyin Bodhisattva. Why don't you know to send hundreds and eighty gold bars back every month?

Niu Wangmo, the victim of thousands of knives, never expected it. Ever since I was pregnant with Hon Hai 'er, he has been fooling around with that slut with a jade fox. I didn't say anything about him, but he acted a separation and moved to the fox and never came back. Now, Monkey Sun has invited a group of heavenly soldiers to arrest them and put them in prison.

I hate to itch at the thought of monkey sun. After all, you are also Niu Wangmo's sworn brother. How can you send your brother to prison yourself? How can I put out the flaming mountain fan with hard hands? Ordinary people are going to rain, so they should bring gifts to ask Princess Iron Fan. I fanned some fans in the Flame Mountain to give them rain. Now that there is no fire on the mountain, who will ask Princess Iron Fan? What do you want me to eat?

Fortunately, the old gentleman in Taishang never forgets his old feelings. He often visits Nu's house and puts in some pocket money. But in recent years, the number of old gentlemen has decreased, so we have to pay attention to the influence. Why didn't he pay attention to the influence before? Hon Hai burned monkeys with Samadhi, and people everywhere talked about it: "How can Hon Hai make Samadhi a real fire? It won't be the illegitimate child of the old gentleman, will it? " I didn't see his frown at that time. I'm afraid it's not good now. The old man clearly saw that I was half-aged in Xu Niang, and he had the idea of starting a rebellion and finally gave it up. Does he dislike Nujia now? Don't look at himself, his teeth are gone, and he breathes when he moves. I still don't like him!

Self-reliance, ample food and clothing! A few years ago, I opened a vineyard at the foot of the Flame Mountain. I have a banana fan. Grapes grow well if they want to be beaten by wind and rain. Unfortunately, the price of grapes has not gone up, transportation is not convenient, and you can't earn a few dollars all year round. Fortunately, if I am poor, I will change my mind. Now that the dignitaries have started drinking in droves, I will set up a winery. The "Iron Fan" brand wine brewed by Nujia is of high quality and low price. Last year, I sent several bottles to Hon Hai for tasting. Hong Haier told the Nujia: The Bodhisattva said the wine was good, but I'm afraid it won't sell! I thought at that time: Guanyin Bodhisattva doesn't drink it, how do you know whether to drink it or sell it? So the sales of this wine are really bad? There is more and more wine in the cellar.

It's different now. I have raised the price of wine several times, but the demand is still in short supply. Speaking of this, I have to thank Pig Bajie: Last month, Pig Bajie came to Nujia Winery to buy wine, saying that he would give it to Taibai Jinxing to help solve the civil service establishment in Gao Cuilan. I took him to visit the wine cellar, and he said, why are they all "iron fans" and there is no "Lafite"?

I said, "Lafite" is French, and we don't produce foreign wine here.

Who wants the pig to say: Are you stupid? France can only brew 200,000 bottles of "Lafite" every year, while our eastern soil drinks 2 million bottles of "Lafite" every year. Where did it come from? Aren't they all brewed by our own eastern soil? In this way, tear off the trademark of "Iron Fan" and label me "Lafite". The price is negotiable.

I was a little worried at first. Taibai Venus is Brewmaster! But Pig Bajie said: He doesn't know shit! It is nothing more than borrowing these foreign gadgets to be arty. You said that Maotai can drink true and false, so I believed you. What does he know about Lafite?

After all, Zhu Bajie is a person who has studied abroad, but his knowledge is different. Later, I labeled all the stocks as "Lafite" and "Margaux", and the demand was really in short supply!

Humorous Language Story 2: Cowherd Children's Wear Admission

Shun Fenger, a reporter from Paradise Daily, reports that the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl, who were hotly debated with the world thousands of years ago, are in trouble again recently. Although the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl have been in the sky for a long time, according to their age in the sky, they should have been in primary school, but since neither of them has a hukou in the sky, they are black children, so going to school has become a problem. Although Cowherd quickly broke his leg and solved the hukou problem of two children, the hukou problem of the children has not been solved. After this matter was disclosed by the local Tianhe Daily, it also caused a big discussion about the paradise hukou and enrollment. To this end, Tian Ting Daily reporter Shun Fenger interviewed Niu Lang and related personnel. The following is a live interview report.

Interviewee: Niu Lang

Reporter Shun Fenger: Mr. Niu Lang, your child has been in heaven for a long time. Why hasn't the hukou problem been solved? Is it that important for children to register in heaven?

Cowherd: Everyone knows my experience with Weaver Girl, so I won't say much here. When I took my two children to chase the Weaver Maid to heaven, the Queen Mother was moved by my faithful love for the Weaver Maid, and allowed the three of us to meet the Weaver Maid every year on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month. Soon, the relevant departments confirmed the account of heaven for me and the Weaver Maid. However, because my two children and the Weaver Girl were born in the world, the household registration department of Heaven refused to give them a household registration of Heaven, and they became two Hei Hai. Later, I found them many times and showed them that the mother of the child, the Weaver Girl, was a fairy, and I was a god before I was reborn, but they have been clinging to the reason why the child was born on earth, and they have not dealt with it until now. My cousin Niu Wangmo told me that when the Monkey King, the Monkey King, first came to heaven, he encountered many difficulties in handling the accounts of heaven. But in the end, he got a formal account from heaven, and I don't know what he did. Please ask the reporter questions.

Needless to say, the importance of paradise hukou to children. My two children are not registered in heaven, and the nearby Tianhe Primary School has to charge a high borrowing fee to accept my children. However, Weaver Girl and I are both poor households on the edge of the Tianhe River, and we really can't afford the high tuition fees for our two children. I just managed to get my children through primary and secondary school. When I enter Lingxiao University in the future, the scores of candidates with non-celestial hukou will be several hundred points higher than those of normal candidates. Can my child be admitted? If you can't get into college, it's difficult to recruit children without a hukou in heaven. What do you think my children will do in the future?

Interviewee: Zhu Bajie, chief of the household registration department of Tianhe, Tang Tian.

Reporter shun feng: Mr. Pig, can you tell us something about the hukou of Cowherd's two children?

Zhu Bajie, Chief of Household Registration Section in Tianhe District, Tang Tian: This problem is very complicated. Although the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl were born by immortals, their children were born on earth, so according to the household registration system in heaven, it is absolutely impossible to implement household registration in heaven. Although we sympathize with Niu Lang's family situation and the situation of his two children, it is not allowed by the policy to violate the regulations of hukou, and there is really nothing we can do.

Reporter Shun Fenger: Pig head, it is said that the Monkey King, the Great Sage of Qi Tian, has been registered in heaven, but the Monkey King was born on earth. Isn't it against the policy to register him in heaven?

Zhu Bajie, Chief of Tangtian Tianhe Household Registration Section: You mean the Tang Tian household registration of monkeys? Yes, Monkey King did register a celestial account, but his account is a special case. Because although the Monkey King was born on earth, he was not born in the flesh, but jumped out of a stone. Besides, the Monkey King once helped Tang Priest to learn Buddhist scriptures in the West, and he was a person who made a special contribution to heaven. The most important thing is to think about the Monkey King's prestige when he made a scene in the Heavenly Palace. If we don't register him in heaven, how much commotion will it cause?

To tell the truth, there are quite a few immortals born on earth like the Monkey King, but they have been able to register in heaven. Like Li Tianwang's three sons, Yang Erlang, Chang 'e and other immortals, which one was not born on earth? But can the little gods like Cowherd and Weaver Girl who work on the edge of Tianhe be compared with them? Alas, I can't explain many things clearly. I believe that Shunfenger can understand, and I hope that Shunfenger will not publish these words of the old pig in the media. Old pig, I thank you in advance.

Interviewee: Taibai Jinxing, Minister of Education of China.

Reporter Shun Fenger: Mr. Minister, what do you think of the problem of Tianhe Primary School charging high borrowing fees? Is it in compliance with relevant regulations? Candidates who are not registered in heaven score much higher than normal candidates. What do you think of this?

Taibai Jinxing, Minister of Education of Tang Tian: As Tianhe is an economically backward area, local education funds have been insufficient in recent years. The borrowing fee for non-Tang Tian registered students is approved by the Ministry of Education, and the amount charged is not large. Cowherd's high borrowing fee is a bit exaggerated, and it is also possible that Cowherd's children have not applied for temporary residence permits or temporary residence permits so the borrowing fee may be higher. It is suggested that Cowherd should first apply for a temporary residence permit or a temporary residence permit for the children, so that the two children can go to school as soon as possible. If Niulang's family is really in difficulties, you can apply for subsidies from the civil affairs department, and everyone can help solve the problem of Niulang's two children going to school. No matter how poor you are, you can't be poor in education or suffer from children. Children in heaven can't even go to primary school, so what?

There is no way to solve the problem of high admission scores of candidates who are not registered in heaven. There is only Lingxiao University in the universe, which makes the admission rate of candidates only below 10%. This makes it difficult for most normal candidates to enter Tang Tian University. Because there is not enough porridge, we have to control the enrollment rate of candidates who are not registered in heaven. Please understand this. With the popularization of higher education in heaven, I believe this situation will change. Cowherd's two children are still young. Isn't it a little early to think so far?

After interviewing relevant personnel, the reporter interviewed dozens of immortals randomly on this issue. Most of them expressed deep sympathy for the experience of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl. 90% of the interviewees disapprove of the household registration system in Heaven, and they hate what some household registration departments in Heaven do in registered permanent residence. 95% of the respondents disapprove of the practice of charging borrowing fees, and most of the respondents also object to Paradise University's intention to improve the admission line for candidates with non-Paradise household registration. This newspaper will continue to follow up on the household registration and education of Niulang's children. I hope readers will continue to pay attention to the future situation of the Niulang family.

Humorous language story 3: looks really like the mayor

Xiao Wang always drives me to work. He is a good driver, so I can read the newspaper in the car with confidence. On this day, his wife suddenly fell ill, so I had to take a taxi to work.

At the fork in the road leading to the city government, the driver suddenly pulled over and said that this was a special lane and he couldn't get in by himself. I told him I was the mayor and could go in. The driver said awkwardly, "I don't have time to joke with you."

I was going to get off, but I didn't expect to be stopped by an old man in uniform after walking for a while.

I told him I was the mayor and let him go. He said earnestly, "You look a bit like the mayor, but it is illegal to pretend to be the mayor."

Because of face, I can't pester him, so I can only call the director of the office for help. After the phone call, I began to look around again, hoping to meet some acquaintances. Fortunately, the owner of the tobacco hotel opposite the city government came. I greeted him with a big smile. I grabbed his hand and said, "Boss Hu, so early?"

"And you are?" Boss Hu looked at me suspiciously and said, "You look like our mayor!"

I said, "I'm the mayor."

"Stop it, will the mayor take the initiative to say hello to me?" Hu boss laughed.

While speaking, a red flag car drove up. The old uniform hurried into the duty room, raised the lifting rod and smiled proudly at me. The coming car is my special car, and the driver is Xiao Wang. Xiao Wang got off the bus and looked around and asked, "Has the mayor arrived yet?"

I coughed lightly on purpose, and the eyes around me came at me instantly.

"Oh, my God! You really look like the mayor. " Xiao Wang looked at me and said.

Can't Xiao Wang recognize me? I'm a little angry, but I can't be angry. I tried to say calmly, "I'm the mayor."

Suddenly, as if remembering something, Xiao Wang hurried to the car, opened the door and pushed me into the back seat. He climbed into the driver's seat, turned his head and looked in the rearview mirror. He suddenly smiled and said, "So you are really the mayor!" " "

Everyone in the car looked at me and said in unison, "It's really the mayor!" " "

I glanced at the rearview mirror suspiciously and saw that I was set off by the famous brand neck protector.

People who read humorous language stories will also read:

1. Interesting fable

2. Interesting fables that reflect the facts

3. Humorous fairy tales

4. Interesting fable

5. Four humorous English stories