How to learn from the stupid things you have done?

In my personal file, there is a folder that says "stupid things I did". I recorded all my mistakes and put them in this folder. Sometimes I ask my secretary to take notes orally, but sometimes some questions are too personal or stupid to dictate, so I write them down myself.

Up to now, I can still remember some things I recorded in the folder 15 years ago. If I can always be absolutely honest, the record of "stupid things I did" will probably crack the filing cabinet. But all I did was repeat what King Solomon/Kloc-0 said 300 years ago: "I have done stupid things, and I have done many stupid things."

Every time I reread those "stupid" documents and reflect on what I have done, they can help me solve some problems I am facing, the most important of which is how to control myself.

All the problems I encountered before were blamed on others. As I grow older, I find that all misfortunes are ultimately my responsibility. Many people wake up when they are old, and it is too late to regret it. Napoleon said this when he was defeated and exiled: "No one should be responsible for my failure except myself. I am my greatest enemy and the root of my unfortunate fate. "

I'll tell you another story about someone I know very well. His name is Howard, 1944 July 3 1, and he died suddenly in new york Hotel. The news spread all over the United States and shocked Wall Street. As a leading figure in American financial circles, the chairman of American commercial banks and trust and investment companies, and the director of many multinational companies, the impact of his death on society is self-evident. But such an extraordinary figure has not received any formal education. His first job was as a clerk in a small shop in the country, and later he became a loan manager of an American steel company. Through his own efforts, his social status is getting higher and higher, and his power is getting bigger and bigger.

When I asked him the reason for his success, he replied, "For many years, I recorded all my appointments every day. My family never occupies my Sunday nights. They know that I want to use this time to reflect and review the work and gains and losses of this week. After dinner, I stayed alone in the study, opened my notes and reviewed every meeting, interview and decision since Monday. I asked myself,' What's wrong this time? "I did it very well-how can I do it better?" What lessons can I learn from this matter? At first, every Sunday's introspection made me feel uncomfortable and surprised at my mistakes. Later, with the passage of time, these mistakes gradually decreased. Self-examination year after year is the most meaningful thing I have ever done in my life. "

Perhaps Howard's approach is not original, but learned from old Franklin. But the only difference is that old Franklin always looks back on this day every night. He summed up 13 kinds of mistakes he often made, three of which were-wasting time, worrying about trivial things and having conflicts with others. He is wise to realize that he can't succeed unless he gives up these mistakes. Therefore, he asked himself to correct one every week and record his implementation. The next week, he began to correct another shortcoming. In this way, it took him more than two years to correct all his shortcomings, and because of this, he has a far-reaching influence on the American people and is the person they admire most.

Ahlport Herbert said, "Anyone is stupid for at least five minutes every day. The so-called smart people just want to control the time within 5 minutes. "

People who are greatly dissatisfied with a little criticism are stupid, and smart people will gain experience and lessons from criticizing themselves and obstructing their opponents.

Don't passively wait for our opponents to criticize or criticize what we have done. We should surpass them and become our strictest evaluators. Before they criticize us, we should find our own weaknesses, correct or consolidate them, and not give them an opportunity.

What would you do if you knew someone called you a "fool"? Angry? Shame on you? Do you know how Lincoln did it? Lincoln was once called a "fool" by US Secretary of Defense Edward Stanton. Stanton was very dissatisfied with Lincoln's interference in his work-in order to please an important political figure, Lincoln ordered the deployment of troops. Stanton refused to carry out this order and condemned it as a foolish act. Lincoln was not angry when he heard this, but said, "Stanton almost never said he missed it." Since he called me an idiot, I must have made a big mistake. I'll ask him myself. " Stanton told Lincoln frankly how unreasonable it was to adjust the orders of the army. Lincoln accepted the criticism modestly and immediately revoked his authorization. Lincoln welcomed all friendly criticisms and accepted suggestions for improvement with an open mind.

You and I should welcome well-meaning criticism and suggestions like Lincoln. You know, what we do may be difficult to achieve even three-quarters of the correct rate-this is what Roosevelt expected of himself when he entered the White House. Even Einstein, the greatest scientist in the world, admitted that 99% of his conclusions were incorrect. Roger Finka pointed out: "Our opponents' views are often more thorough than our own. "I quite agree with his point of view, but whenever someone criticizes me, I tend to be hot-headed, that is, I instinctively defend myself-sometimes I don't know what the other person criticizes me. After doing this, I always regret it

When you hear others talking about our shortcomings, try not to rush to explain. Because everyone who has no brains is like this. Let's be smarter and more modest. We can say generously, "If I let him know my other shortcomings, I'm afraid he will criticize more!" "

I have discussed how to deal with malicious attacks. Now here's another idea: When you are angry because of a malicious attack, why don't you tell yourself, "Wait a minute … I'm not perfect. Even Einstein admitted that he was wrong 99%, and maybe I was wrong at least 80% of the time. This criticism may come at the right time. If so, I should thank it and try to benefit from it. "

Charles lukman, president of a big American company, once invited bob hope to be on the radio program for $654.38 million. Bob never reads letters of commendation, only letters of criticism, because he knows he can learn something from them.

In order to understand the shortcomings in management and operation, Ford Motor Company specially invited employees to criticize the company.

I know a soap seller and even took the initiative to ask others to criticize him. When he started selling soap for Colgate, he received few orders. He is worried about losing his job. He is sure that there is nothing wrong with the product and the price, so the problem must be his own. Whenever he can't sell it, he will walk up and down the street and think about what he did wrong. Is it not convincing enough? Or lack of enthusiasm? Sometimes he would turn around and ask the businessman, "I didn't come back to sell you soap." I hope to get your opinions and corrections. " Please tell me what I did wrong just now. You are more experienced and successful than me. Please give me a correction. Frankly speaking, it doesn't matter. Please don't keep it. "

His attitude won him a lot of friendship and valuable advice.

Want to know his development? He was later promoted to the president of Colgate, the largest soap company in the contemporary era. He is Mr. Little.

Only a broad-minded wise man can stand shoulder to shoulder with Howell, Franklin and Little. When no one is around, why not ask yourself what kind of person you really belong to?

The tenth principle of peace and happiness is:

Write down the stupid things you have done and make self-criticism.

-Quoted from The Complete Works of the Advantages of Human Nature by Yanbian People's Publishing House.