What is a confidante?

She doesn't monopolize you, but she has the same heart as you. Once a woman becomes a wife, she no longer treats men objectively. They like monopoly. A confidante can't. Most people have their own hidden personalities. If a man's other half is a woman, it is more likely to be a confidante.

It is difficult to get a confidante: "Friends are all over the world, how many people can you know?" From studying to working now, I have made many friends, but only three people can talk to each other together! We always feel comfortable together, or chatting, or drinking, or traveling, and it is not easy to have a feeling of "but I feel the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn"! I think the greatest pleasure in life is to have a bosom friend called a friend! My only regret now is that I can't find a confidante! It is still difficult for men to be bosom friends, and it is even harder for men and women to be bosom friends. It is even harder for a man to be a confidant with a beautiful woman!

A confidante is usually smart. If a woman wants to be eternal in a man's life, she must be his mother or the confidante he will never get. After all, a confidante contains many things. Love is too short, marriage is too boring, and only a confidante can last. Therefore, women who are willing to be men's confidantes are usually open-minded and smart.

Three realms of confidante The first realm in the Book of Songs is an opportunity that can be met but not sought. Because of distance, all the good things are put together. Usually, wives possess men, lovers share men, and confidantes shape men. She fully tapped his potential and completed the mission of confidante by perfecting and helping men. Therefore, a confidante is another soul of a man. Sometimes she is close at hand, sometimes she is on the water side, but you can feel her presence in life. She doesn't necessarily agree with your outlook on life and values, but she definitely respects you, trusts you and understands you. A confidante is actually a warm hand that ignites the fire of life with you. Because of her, men often become rich in life. Therefore, the confidante is the peerless beauty. Unfortunately, most women are just not smart enough to be confidantes, and the trap of men's desire just makes her unable to be confidantes, which is why many women originally wanted to play confidantes, but later they became mistresses or strangers.

Satisfy men's vanity. Some women are born friends. They like relaxed relationships and hate bondage as much as men. This is undoubtedly the type of friend that more men appreciate. So even if they are not so "bosom friends", men like to be friends with such women. Enjoying the care and closeness of women other than wives or lovers can greatly satisfy men's vanity.

A confidante is a man's excuse. I'm just your confidante, that's all. Love can be turned into thorns, and missing can be turned into delusion. I have always been reserved, because I don't feel that I have no self-esteem. I have always liked Faye Wong's Boredom. "No matter who you fall in love with, you have to say that you are in love with his soul. If not, it is not sincere. " I thought I was in love with your soul, so I made one. But I'm tired of tearing it over and over again! I feel so tired that I really want to find someone who really loves me and wait for a lifetime. In fact, I am neither excellent nor strong, but you have never opened the door of my disguise. It's not that you don't know, but that you never want to know that I am fragile, and I also need your love and consideration.

It can inspire men to be more tolerant and understanding, such as drinking in pubs. Men can fight alcohol lawsuits with the same sex, but not with women. Friends of the opposite sex can inspire men to be more tolerant and understanding, and they are willing. This is a gender feature, and the strong like to take care of the weak. Therefore, women are loved and men satisfy men's vanity, which is the most fundamental thing for confidante. Since I want to, how can I not get along well?

The relationship between lovers, sexual partners and confidantes is actually very complicated. It has been said that there is no pure friendship between men and women. Whether his argument is correct or not, this is also a relationship between "chicken" and "egg". People have followed suit and expressed their opinions, and everyone has different positions and opinions. Let's just say that there is no pure friendship between men and women, so what is the relationship between men and women who have been in contact for a long time?

Smart men can enjoy "everyone's happiness". What if the first beauty becomes her own woman and meets another equally lovely or even more charming woman? A man's possessiveness will not let him go, but bigamy is not only hateful, but also illegal; The lover's lust is too great, so it is better to find her as a bosom friend. Turn love into friendship and give it to her. Love your wife in every way at home and fall in love with your confidante outside.

Men need a confidante. What men in this world need most, besides their wives, is a confidante. To be a confidante, the most important thing is to abide by the boundaries. When you are sick in bed and struggling with pain, the one who holds your hand in panic and tears will be your wife. She is afraid of your pain, afraid of your death, and can't wait to hurt and die for you. She is crying and obsessing, which makes you moved and makes you uneasy. And the confidante didn't. Confidante don't cry. She just stood by the bed, looked at you quietly, read your heart, and then told you with her mouth, her eyes and her heart that she knew where your pain was. She understands you and is willing to share it silently for you, so that your soul will no longer be lonely and make you happy. This shows the essential difference between the two: crying because I love you; I don't cry because I understand you.

Confidante or femme fatale?

First, not all women can become bosom friends. Andy is a woman who can't tell love from friendship, especially for like-minded men. But she is so cute. Men always like to take care of her and spoil her. Andy said he was their confidant. But it happened that she fell in love with a blue confidante, and the poor man's wife had a big fight about it. Finally, even he doesn't know who Andy really is.

Second, be careful to "moisten things quietly." The communication between men and confidantes is generally weak, and they can tolerate the communication between each other and others; However, the possibility of sexual relations between them is not small. This kind of communication often comes from the realm of "sneaking into the night with the wind and moistening things silently". Because it is not surprising that there is an exchange of ideas first, and then something happens naturally.

Third, danger, so it is not surprising that you are tempted to fall in love with your confidante. "Beauty" comes first, which means beauty always comes first; The "confidant" is behind, and it is more valuable for beautiful women to be considerate of themselves, so they get along very differently. Naturally, the danger also comes from this.

Fourth, a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water. If the confidante really exists, it must have the demeanor of an ancient gentleman. Mature men and women all know the word "unbearable", so even the best friends of the opposite sex should keep their distance. Without a pure heart, friends will not last long. Respecting friends naturally includes controlling your emotions. If friendship attracts you more than love, only distance will keep you beautiful, which is just the opposite of getting along with lovers.

5. Success is also a kind of beauty, so is failure. Everyone is a variable, so is a beautiful woman and a bosom friend. If a woman can't be trusted, this confidante seems suspicious. Gu Long said that the most terrible enemy is friends, and friends are for sale. So is it more terrible to know your own woman? This inference seems reasonable. Women hate many things because of love, and there are also many confidantes who turn against each other. So whether you are a friend, lover or confidante, you should be careful not to answer Gu Long's words.

Six, including beauty and confidante, I have known Mei for ten years in Wailin and been married for three years. Unfortunately, Mei is too overbearing, and Lin has no right to speak at home, so she especially likes to talk to beautiful women in the company. Women's natural reading ability and sympathy enabled Lin to find all the dignity she lost at home. When I am in a good mood, I won't have a cold war with Mei when I go home. Things could have been satisfactory, but Mei somehow learned the reason, had a big fight, and Lin was pushed out again. This time, his "misfortune" completely touched his confidante. A few months later, Mei received Lin's divorce papers. When they meet again, Lin's confidante has become a lover's confidante.

Seven, laugh at the city, and then laugh at the country. How can a bunch of vulgar men resist the beauty of a confidante, since praise can overwhelm the country? If a beautiful woman is sensible, it's easy to say. If she can't resist admiration a little, bow her head and smile, and add fragrance to her tea for a long time, how many men can grasp it?

Eight, the heart is not ancient, Gua Tian Li Xia should avoid suspicion. As the saying goes, Gua Tian doesn't mention shoes, and Li Shu doesn't, for fear of being disrespected. If you really care about your family and each other, it is wise to stay away. Even with a clear conscience, shouldn't a man feel the same way about his wife? Let go of your confidant for your lover, at least you can save your family. The important thing is that most people in today's society are not old, and who knows what stories will be made up after a long time.

Blue face confidant-self-analysis

Some netizens, especially young boys and girls, seem to have a strong interest in the new word "Lan Yan bosom friend". Lan Yan's confidant is mysterious to them, and I am not old personally. However, because I have been a confidant of Lan Yan for a long time, coupled with emotional twists and turns and thinking, I have some opinions in this regard. As for whether it is appropriate or not, it depends on whether your experience conforms to my following discussion, so I am here as a former confidante. First of all, a blue confidante is relative to a red confidante. Lan Yan, as its name implies, is male, that is to say, one is male and the other is female.

There are many reasons why men are willing to be female confidants, but an important feature is that they maintain a friendship relationship similar to that of the same sex on the surface, expressing their feelings and telling their sufferings to each other or confidants in one direction. But in essence, the emotion between two people depends on their current emotional situation, which is nothing more than the following. First, both of them have spouses or lovers. In this case, they may meet by chance, or they may have known each other for a long time. They maintain a relationship of mutual trust and mutual defense, and are ideal confidantes (relative to women) and confidantes (relative to men), because they already have their own partners.

The second situation is that the woman has no lover and partner, but the man already has a spouse. These two people may have met by chance, or they may have known each other. At this time, the woman may not find a suitable lover, or she has a crush on a man but has not confessed, or she has just experienced the frustration and blow of falling in love, so she needs a man to complain, get comfort or get help. A man who can become a bosom friend may be a male classmate, a friend or just now. In this case, the man's feelings for the woman are generally pure friendship, because he already has a suitable spouse or partner, and the man is only willing to help the woman listen to the inner world and give help, while the woman is generally at a loss because she has a crush on another man, so find a trustworthy male confidant to seek comfort (after all, this male confidant can help her consider things that many female confidants can't consider with a male concept). Or the woman is frustrated in love and needs a male confidant who won't laugh at or neglect her to heal her mental wounds. Of course, it is also possible that after experiencing emotional twists and turns, she rekindled her old love for her former confidant, unrequited love object or former partner, but she was ashamed to express it, so as to approach this man on the grounds of finding a confidant of Lan Yan (because I am not a woman, I don't know the proportion of this situation, but the proportion of this situation should not be underestimated in the third reason I preach below). In this case, the man's feelings for her are friendship. If she is just pouring out her heart, then the woman's feelings for the man are just pure friendship, but if the woman rekindles her old feelings for the man (commonly known as the old frame), then this emotion will add the flavor of love. As for the proportion, it depends on the depth and development of feelings.

Then there is the third situation. The woman has a fixed partner, and the man is still single. They met for two other reasons. At this time, both men and women may have nowhere to let go because of life or emotional pressure, and they all need this confidant to talk to, but many times the reasons are more complicated. For example, a typical example, the man once had a crush on her, pursued her or pursued a failed girlfriend. In this case, the woman usually treats the man with the feelings of friends, but the man is hard to say. Maybe he has pursued a new goal, and he just comforted her with his friends. However, there is another situation where the man still secretly respects the woman and feels that he is willing to be a servant as long as the process is not fruitful and he can be with the person he likes. Such a man seems very helpless, but he has really gone beyond the traditional concept of confidante, but continues to keep in touch with the woman as confidante. The woman is willing to talk to her about her emotional unhappiness and stress in life, and the man is willing to listen to her and give great comfort and encouragement. To tell the truth, this kind of situation is not rare in real life, and I was once such an example.

The last situation is that neither side has a definite or suitable partner and walks together. The reasons are all above. Two people may regard each other as friends, or it may be inconvenient for one party to secretly love the other, or both parties love each other and just keep in touch as intimate friends for a period of time, which is more natural and relaxed.

After talking about the process of the woman's acquaintance with Lan Yan, we have to speculate on the future emotional development. After all, water flows downwards and people go upwards, and time will always change the world. In the last case, as long as two people are willing or one of them hints or does something, they can easily spark love, and the blue (red) confidante is likely to become a lover or partner. For Lan Yan's bosom friend who has this desire, this is the best ending to be a bosom friend. For the first three cases, because one or both parties have their own partners, as long as both parties or one of them strictly maintain the boundaries and maintain the relationship between partners and lovers, then no matter what wishes or daydreams the confidant has, there will be no chance to occupy the other party's heart. Any love process is bound to be full of twists and turns. If there is fluctuation or frustration between partner and lover at this time, the one who is a confidant will be the only one who can comfort the other. At this time, the frustrated party, like a boat that has experienced a storm in the companion's harbor, will sail its heart to the confidant's harbor to take shelter from the wind and rain. If the confidant has made efforts and actions, or if the frustrated one has suffered too many blows and tortures, will the frustrated heart return to his partner? Therefore, if you are a bosom friend, you should see clearly the emotional development of the person you admire. If the future is looming, but you don't want to be his/her lifelong confidant, then find an opportunity to clearly show him/her your feelings and put them into action. After all, you have occupied his/her deepest heart and are his/her most. This is something that his (her) partner can't do in a short time, that is, you are his (her) most precious psychological resource and wealth. You will be the most relaxed, harmonious and interdependent together, and you are more likely to spend your life together. What you have to do is to add a romantic atmosphere and appropriate emotional appeal on the basis of mutual trust between intimate friends. Of course, don't forget that the basis for you to get along with each other is bosom friends. Of course, there are also situations where the future is bleak. The relationship between your partner and your lover is inseparable, and he (she) has never had any love for you. Therefore, you should end this hypocritical and self-deceiving confidant relationship as soon as possible, and don't wait to watch your beloved put on someone else's wedding dress or put on someone else's wedding dress. At that time, I'm afraid your heart will be broken. As a middle party, with a partner and a confidant, you should carefully look at two very important people in your life, and finally you can walk with them. After all, romantic life is just a beautiful ideal, and all happy marriages should eventually make husband and wife the closest partners and confidants. At this time, you should properly handle the relationship with your confidant. If your bosom friend is not pure friendship to you, but your other half has a good relationship with you, then you should comfort your bosom friend appropriately and tell him (her) what the future will be like. If he (she) has to leave you, you should also give him (her) the opportunity. After all, you just lack a confidant, and what is less for him or her is the DPRK. Don't let him (her) watch you marry the other half and hold a grudge for life. After all, he (she) used to be the person you trusted the most, giving you the greatest comfort and encouragement. Your marriage will be the greatest harm to your bosom friend. And in the whole event and relationship, your power and behavior are also the most influential. If you don't have a simple friendship with your confidant, don't be naive to think that having a partner and a heterosexual who looks like a confidant will satisfy this sense of accomplishment on the surface, but in essence it is an untimely bomb between you. This relationship is also commonly called "ambiguity". As a partner, we should also be good at observation and see clearly the relationship between lovers and confidants. If there is no cross-border behavior between them, you should not be too suspicious and order him or her to sever the relationship with your confidant. This is shooting yourself in the foot. After all, lovers are like magnets, attracting each other, but bosom friends are intimate and even integrated. If you use the magnetic force of your magnet to pull out the universal glue, the result can be imagined. Therefore, as a partner, you have to put yourself in each other's shoes. The other person's confidant, whether same-sex or opposite-sex, is the other person's wealth and the person the other person needs most except you. There are even many things that lovers can't communicate with and can only be solved by confidants. At this time, the most taboo is jealousy. You can only blame yourself for not knowing your lover. If you had known each other earlier, if you hadn't rushed into love and taken care of each other intimately, if you had become his (her) confidants first and then confessed to him (her), then maybe now you are his (her) confidants and lovers, and your feelings would be the deepest and most complete internal ecological circle. Even if you are not your lover's confidant now, it doesn't matter, as long as you strive to gain the highest trust of the other person and gradually occupy his heart, thus replacing his (her) confidant. Of course, this process may be really long, and some partners may not be able to do it when they are old, depending on your efforts. Another situation is that if you can't do this and feel that you can't be his (her) confidant, then you should take good care of your feelings, don't hurt him (her), and don't feel unnecessary. Even without the threat of the other person's confidant, if you don't take good care of your feelings, your lover may be taken away by other strangers. If you understand this, you must work harder.

Having said that, I personally don't believe in the so-called fourth emotion, which is just a mixture of friendship and love, but the components of the two are different. I don't entirely agree with the statement that there can be no pure friendship between men and women. If, as I said in the first case, two people have their own stable partners and both are quiet, then pure friendship is completely possible. If this is not the case, then as people who are entangled between confidants and lovers, they should understand the relationship between them and take action. Don't regret for life because they have closed their hearts alone, and don't part ways with lovers because of their own shortcomings, so that lovers and their confidants can spark love. Don't worry if you can't fully understand my point of view for a while. After all, many things need experience to understand. Finally, use the lyrics of Qian Qian's song "Lan Yan bosom friend" to inspire your thinking. The problems in the song need to be faced by you or him (her) personally. I wish the above-mentioned intimate friends who have experienced emotional pursuit, the middleman sandwiched between two "preferential treatments" and lovers with intimate friends, see all this clearly. I hope your relationship has a happy ending.

Red: it means beauty and red makeup;

Powder: ancient female cosmetics (rouge gouache);

Pink: refers to women.

Confidante: A person who knows each other and has a deep friendship.

Pink bosom friend: refers to a woman who knows each other better than anyone and has a deep friendship. Not just good friends.

Most confidantes are not wives (because many men don't want their wives to know too many secrets. )。 But being a wife is not impossible. Because there are also many men who don't mind that their wives are smarter than themselves. )