Read Lu Xun's "Tomorrow": I hope there is someone in the world who understands the pain behind you

1

When reading "Tomorrow", at the beginning, Lu Xun pointed out the huge differences between the two places in Lu Town.

One place is Xianheng Hotel.

People are coming and going all day long, laughing and chatting, and in the middle of the night, friends with good food and wine are still eating, drinking and having fun around the counter under the bright lights, with the utmost luxury.

One place is Shan Si’s sister-in-law’s home, right next door to the Xianheng Hotel.

There is only one dim light in her home, but it is not quiet even in the middle of the night. Occasionally, Sister-in-law Dan’s child Baoer calls out to her childish mother, and Sister-in-law Dan uses it to support herself and her child. The sound of spinning yarn does not stop with the sunset.

"There is no sound, what happened to the little thing?" That night, Lao Gong, who was drinking at the Xianheng Hotel, discovered this subtle thing.

It can be seen that every move of the fourth sister-in-law Shan falls in the eyes of the people around her.

Lanpi Ah Wu saw Lao Gong’s thoughts at a glance: “What are you thinking about?”

The fourth sister-in-law is a widow. And young.

People in the Xianheng Hotel next door kept speculating about Sister-in-law Shan, but Sister-in-law Shan was suffering from Bao'er's condition under the dim light.

I don’t know what the disease is, but Baoer has never recovered. I have asked for fortune-telling, and my wishes have been granted, and I have tried folk remedies, but they have not worked.

Who says otherwise? Sister-in-law Shan Si is simply making fun of her own child's life. She goes to the hospital when she's sick. What kind of gods can she pray to or what wishes can she make?

It can be said to be very stupid.

However, what is certain is that Sister-in-law Shan Si has no money.

An orphan and a widower cannot afford to repay, so no one will lend her money, even if it is life-saving money.

She relied on spinning and weaving to earn some living expenses. If nothing happened at home, she would have food to eat. Whenever there was an unusual movement in her life, she could only hope for tomorrow.

Yes, maybe tomorrow, when the sun comes out, the heat will subside and the asthma will be relieved, right? Bao'er's illness will get better.

Tomorrow is the hope and fantasy of Sister-in-law Shan Fourth. In fact, it is an unconscious psychological escape.

Two

After holding the baby until dawn, Baoer did not feel better as she had imagined. Instead, her nose was flaring. The situation was very bad and life-threatening. situation.

So she took all the money at home to find He Xiaoxian, a famous traditional Chinese medicine doctor with four-inch long nails.

Sir, what is wrong with my baby?

He Xiaoxian did not answer.

Will he be okay?

He Xiaoxian did not answer.

He was out of breath, and his nose was flaring rapidly?

He Xiaoxian still ignored her question.

Sister-in-law Shan Si was embarrassed to ask any more questions. He Xiaoxian prescribed a prescription, Baoyinghuosheng Pills, and designated the pharmacy of Jiajiajishi Old Store to pick it up.

At this time when life is at stake, He Xiaoxian still only thinks about his own interests. He can't go anywhere else to get medicine, but the old Jia family store that is linked to his own interests.

It was an open secret that Sister-in-law Shan knew very well, but she still obeyed and went to get the medicine.

After taking the medicine and carrying Baoer home, he met Blue Skin Ah Wu.

After not sleeping all night, Sister-in-law Shan Si was extremely tired and her eyes were bleary-eyed. So she really hopes that one of the generals will come down to help her.

The chivalrous Ah Wu stretched out his arms from between the breasts of Sister-in-law Shan and the child, and hugged the child.

Sister-in-law Shan Si felt a line of heat on her breasts, and her face turned red to the base of her ears.

When life is peaceful, everyone hopes to have someone to accompany them to watch the scenery. When there are difficulties, they also hope to have a solid support.

Sister-in-law Shan Si has no one to rely on, and her only precious son is already struggling on the edge of life and death.

At this juncture, Blue-skinned Ah Wu took advantage of her intentionally or unintentionally and took advantage of her.

三

When I got home that day, Baoer had been sleeping. In the afternoon, Baoer suddenly opened his eyes and called "Mom", then closed his eyes and fell asleep. , never woke up again.

The helpless Shan Si’s sister-in-law’s cries ranged from whimpering to howling.

Crying into the night, the old men of Xianheng Hotel continued to drink and sing.

As for Sister-in-law Shan Si, looking at Bao'er who was lying on the bed and not breathing, and the spinning wheel standing quietly on the ground, another hallucination appeared in her heart: Maybe, this is just A dream, when I wake up tomorrow, Bao'er will wake up, call her mother, and then jump and run out to play like a lively tiger.

Lu Xun once said a very classic saying: "The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same."

The neighbors upstairs were listening to lyrical records, and the parents across the street were scolding their children. , the tavern downstairs was brightly lit, and the people were buzzing with joy, but in one of the houses, someone had just died, and there were bursts of mourning.

Human beings' joys and sorrows are not the same.

It’s so well said and hits the mark.

In the past, there were Mr. Lu Xun’s articles in primary school textbooks, but they were often difficult to understand, so there was a slogan in the market: “First, I am afraid of classical Chinese, second, I am afraid of writing compositions, and third, I am afraid of Zhou Shuren.”

< p> By the time I understand Lu Xun now, I am already middle-aged.

Cartoonist Jimmy wrote in "Starry Sky": "I often walk a long way alone, and when the wind blows, I feel like a fallen leaf."

This This is probably how Sister-in-law Shan Fourth feels at the moment. A person has survived the years of loneliness, but at a certain moment, his heart suddenly feels empty.

She was tired from crying and felt dizzy. There was something strange in her head. The room was too quiet, too big, and things were too empty. The room surrounded her on all sides and pressed her down. I can't even breathe.

Now she accepted the fact that her baby was indeed dead. Tears came out again. She went to bed and lay down, remembering the most heartwarming words Bao'er once said: "Mom, my dad used to sell wontons to make money. When I grew up, I also sold wontons and made a lot of money------I It’s all for you.”

Such thoughtful words.

The child is young, but he knows his mother’s hard work. The cotton yarn spun at that time was every inch interesting and alive because of Bao’er’s presence.

But what happens now?

Alas, the room is too empty, too quiet, and too big.

Her life is too difficult.

Sister-in-law Shan Si will still wake up tomorrow and continue to live her lonely and helpless life.

All tomorrows will be the same. There is no such thing as strong, there is no such thing as powerful, let alone indestructible.

Four

Some sufferings can only be faced by yourself. If you are weak, no one can be strong for you.

If there is a person in the world who understands the suffering behind you, even if you are tamed by suffering in the face of life, those days will be interesting.

Even if my heart is sometimes broken, I will still endure the pain and put on armor, pretending as if nothing has happened, everything can survive, and try to keep the years calm.

Sometimes when I look at Lu Xun, I feel that he is too cruel.

He makes people see clearly that in life, nine out of ten are unsatisfactory, and one or two are extremely unsatisfactory.

But he bravely and fearlessly wrote about misfortune with a sharp pen, and his soft heart was full of sympathy.

Reading his articles, you can see the true self between the lines.

We occasionally look passionate like "madmen", but in reality we live like Ah Q, knowing how to comfort ourselves, deceive ourselves, and strive to shake hands with the world around us.

I understand more and more that life is difficult, but I am unable to change it, so I can only complain a little and say a few words to be unwilling, but in the end I still live like Kong Yiji, content with the status quo, and I have tried to stand in the center of the storm. , trying to let the world see his own light, but he was wrapped up in reality, and the edges and corners were gradually worn away, leaving nothing to be done.

Like Sister-in-law Shan Si, we place our hopes on tomorrow and next year, but do not think about the fact that today is the result of the choices made three years ago or ten years ago. Next year, if no changes are made, everything will still be the same as it is now. The only difference is that we are one year older.

Lu Xun, who was so crazy and tough, wrote a paragraph to summarize his life in "Tombstone Essays". After reading it, I felt that Mr. Lu Xun was also very Zen:

"In the midst of the enthusiasm of Hao Ge, I got cold, and saw the abyss in the sky.

In all eyes, I saw nothing, and I was saved in the hopelessness. "

? May you , there is a person in the world who understands your suffering, and when he sees your suffering, you will firmly believe that the suffering will eventually pass.

I hope you have someone in the world who understands your goodness and sees your goodness, and your eyes when looking at the world will have a soft light.

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