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"Qing Tang He Yun" Ji Xianlin

There are several acres of clear ponds in front of the building. I remember that when I moved here more than 30 years ago, there seemed to be lotus flowers in the pond, and there were still some broken shadows of green leaves and safflower in my memory. Later, things changed, and the years passed, but the pond became "half an acre of square pond opened, the sky was high and the clouds were light", and the lotus flowers were never seen again. I keep a lot of old ideas in my mind. Every time I look at an empty pond, I always feel as if something is missing. This is not in line with my aesthetic concept. There should be something green in the pond, even reeds are better than nothing. The best and most ideal is of course the lotus. In China's old poems, there are simply too many descriptions of lotus flowers. Zhou Dunyi's On Ailian is probably unique. His famous phrase "Xiang Yuan Qing Xiang" is well known. It can almost be said that there is no one in China who doesn't love lotus flowers. But the pond in front of our building is the only one lacking lotus flowers. Every time I see or think about it, I always feel that I am a heart disease.

Someone came from Hubei and brought some lotus seeds from Honghu Lake. The shell is black and hard. It is said that if buried in mud, it can be preserved for thousands of years. So, I used a hammer to crack a crack in the lotus seed, so that the shower head would break out of its shell and never be buried in the mud. These are subjective wishes, and whether the lotus buds can come out is a big unknown. Anyway, I finally tried my best to put five or six broken lotus seeds into the pond. This is my destiny. In this way, I have one more job every day: go to the pond several times more. I always hope that one day, suddenly, "Xiao He shows sharp corners" and green lotus leaves grow out of the water. However, contrary to expectations, in the first year of throwing, nothing appeared on the water until the autumn leaves fell. After a lonely winter day, the next year, spring water filled the pond with green willows, which was a beautiful scene. However, there is still no lotus leaf on the water I expected. At this time, I was completely disheartened, thinking about those hard-shell lotus seeds brought by Hubei, probably because of unexplained reasons, there is no hope of planting lotus seeds anymore. My eyes can't suck lotus leaves out of the mud.

However, in the third year, a miracle suddenly happened. One day, I suddenly found some round green leaves growing where I threw lotus seeds. Although the color is extremely pleasing, it is thin, lying on the water like the leaves of a water lily. Only five or six leaves grew at first. I always feel a little too little, and I always hope to grow a few more pieces. So, I look forward to the stars and the moon, and go to the pond every day. There are farmers outside the school to catch aquatic plants. I always ask them to be merciful and not to break the leaves. But after a long summer, sad autumn came to the world again, leaving only five or six lonely leaves floating in the pond. For me, this is another hopeful but still depressing year. The real miracle appeared in the fourth year. After the severe winter, the pond overflowed with springs. When the lotus grows leaves, a large green leaf suddenly grows where there were five or six leaves last year, and the lotus doesn't seem to stop moving under the severe winter ice, because leaves also grow in the middle of the pond far from the original five or six leaf base.

The speed and range of blade expansion are amazing. Within a few days, a large part of the pond has been covered with green leaves. Moreover, the leaves that used to lie flat on the water like water lilies gathered strength from somewhere, and some actually jumped out of the water and grew into slender lotus leaves. It turned out that I had been suspicious for a long time, fearing that water lilies were growing in the pool, not real lotus flowers. In this way, the doubts in my heart were swept away: it turned out that the descendants of Honghu lotus grew in the pond. I was ecstatic, and these years have finally not been in vain. Everything in the world comes into being. Animals, plants and other creatures, including people, are always endowed with an extremely amazing survival force and an extremely amazing expansion and diffusion force, which is irresistible. As long as you are willing to take the trouble to observe, you will certainly admit it. What is in front of me now is the lotus in the pond in front of my building. As several brave blades jumped out of the water, many blades followed. Overnight, dozens of branches appeared, and they spread quickly. After less than ten days' work, lotus leaves have covered the whole pond. From where I planted my seeds, I spread to the east, west, north and south. I can't know how the lotus moves in the mud in deep water. Anyway, judging from the lotus leaves above the water, it takes at least half a foot to form this situation. Planting lotus leaves is definitely not enough.

Lotus flowers come one after another. According to experts who know lotus flowers, the lotus flowers in the pond in front of my house are different from those in other ponds in Yanyuan. The color of lotus flowers in other places is light red; And my lotus here is not only red, but also has many petals. Each flower can produce sixteen lotus petals, which certainly looks different. These dazzling red lotus flowers, hanging high above the lotus leaves, pose in the wind as if dazzling everything. When I was a child, I read an old poem: "After all, the West Lake in mid-June is different from the four seasons." The lotus leaf on the second day is infinitely blue, and the lotus flower on the second day is of different colors. "I love the beauty of his poems and deeply regret that I can't go to Hangzhou West Lake to enjoy them in person. Now the pond in front of my house is the scenery of the West Lake. It was I who moved the West Lake from Hangzhou to Yanyuan. Isn't it great and satisfying? Mr. Zhou Yiliang moved to Longrun Garden only a few years ago. His name is "Collection". I find it interesting and grateful. Shall I pass the lotus? The year before and last year, when Xia Yuetan was in bloom, I walked around the pond at least several times a day, sitting on a stone and quietly sucking the fragrance of lotus and lotus leaves. " The quieter the cicada forest, the quieter Tonamiyama. "I really feel very quiet around. I sat there silently, and what I saw on the water was the green manure and red manure of the lotus.

The reflection is reflected in the water. When the wind blows, a lotus petal falls into the water. It falls from the top, but the reflection in the water falls upward from the bottom and finally touches the water surface. The two are one, floating there like a boat. I once read two sentences in a poem: "The pond flowers fall in shadow, and the sand birds fly with the sound." The author deeply regrets that the second sentence is no good. No wonder, how many people can realize the realm of "a pool of flowers falls on the shadow"? In the evening, my family often sits on the stones by the pond to enjoy the cool. One night, the moon in the sky was bright and bright, and it shed a silver light on the lotus. I suddenly heard a "plop". Mao Mao, my little white Persian cat, jumped into the water. She probably thought there was a white jade plate in the water and wanted to jump on it and catch it. As soon as she entered the water, she probably felt something was wrong. She quickly returned to the shore and broke the reflection of the moon. It took her a long time to get back to her original shape. This summer, the weather is extremely sultry, but the lotus flowers are in full bloom. Green covers the sky, red flowers reflect the sun, and a pond that is not too small is so full that even the water surface can hardly be seen. A neighbor who loves lotus flowers counts the number of lotus flowers cheerfully every day. Tell me today that there are four or five hundred flowers; Tell me tomorrow that there are six or seven hundred flowers. However, although I know he is meticulous, I don't believe he can really count the exact number of flowers.

I don't know how many bones are hidden under the lotus leaf and between the stones, which is hard to see on the shore. It is roughly estimated that there will be nearly 1000 flowers this year. This is really a magnificent view. The weather has suddenly turned cold these days, as if it had suddenly turned from summer to autumn. Although the lotus leaf in the pond is still green, it seems that the day of becoming a residual lotus will not be too far away. In another month or two, even the residual load will disappear without a trace when the water freezes. At that time, the lotus will probably hibernate under the ice and dream of spring. Their dreams will surely come true. "Winter has come, can spring be far behind?" I wish my "Jihe" all the best.

Spring (excerpt) Feng Zikai

What a lovely semester spring is! People have praised it since ancient times and hope it will grow in the world. Poets, especially poets, have a deep love for spring. Try to turn over the words, and you can find a spring word on almost every page. Later generations are used to hearing this kind of words, and naturally they echo with joy. Even if they don't actually know the lovely people in spring, they will feel happy when they talk about it. This half is implied by the pronunciation of the word spring. "Spring!" Listen, how loud and sleepy this voice sounds! How neat and appropriate the shape of this word is, how symmetrical it is! It must be lovely to think of which season such a beautiful name belongs to. Just like hearing a woman named Lihua, I think she must be a beauty. However, in fact, spring is not a pleasant time. After 36 years, I know that spring before the end of spring is very unpleasant in life.

Plum blossoms bloom with snow, saying that it is the news of missing spring. But this is completely spiritual spring. Actually, it's raining and snowing, and the north wind is fierce. What's the difference between winter and winter? The so-called people who welcome the Spring are just hiding in their own houses, shivering under the eaves and looking at the dead branches of plum blossoms!

A month later, just like now: the fright is over, and the so-called spring is half over. My friends living in the metropolis imagined the picturesque countryside at the moment, so they quickly wrote to urge me to write an essay about spring. It seems that I am jealous of them, because I am close to Chun. In fact, we who live in the countryside are not happy, but suffer from various discomforts: the thermometer rises and falls sharply between 36 and 62 degrees. In one day, it was hot and cold. You can think of ice cream in the city when it's warm. You can almost see natural ice when it is cold, and you have tasted the so-called "cold". The weather is sunny and rainy, and when I go out, dry shoes often come back sloppily. It is true that "how many sunny days can there be in a spring"; "Listening to the spring rain in a small building all night" is actually nothing to listen to, and it is monotonous, far less than the variety of radios in your city. Spring is almost halfway over, but it doesn't give us any comfort. It only teaches us to worry about cold and warm weather every day. It is "three points in spring, two points in sorrow, one point in wind and rain!" "

The scene of spring is only practical and clear when it is cold and warm, sunny and rainy. In addition, although there are beautiful scenery in spring, they are all vague, so we should explore them carefully before we can see them vaguely. Is this the so-called "seeking spring"? Some say that "spring is in the sound of flowers", some say that "spring is in pear blossoms" and some say that "the branches of red apricots are full of spring", but this kind of scene is not easy to see in our remote countryside. Even if you see it, it is not easy for the naked eye to know. In short, the beauty brought by spring is rare and hidden; The unhappiness brought by spring is numerous and real. Poets and poets seem to admit this. Aren't spring cold, spring sleepy, spring sorrow and spring resentment all often mentioned in poems? Not only now, but also in a few months, when Tomb-Sweeping Day comes, it may not be beautiful and happy. If it rains again, pedestrians on the road will die. It is unpleasant to know that spring is just a beautiful name in real life. In fact, the happiest time of the year begins in late spring. As far as the climate is concerned, although it gradually turns from cold to warm before late spring, it is always the time when it is cold and warm, and it is also the most difficult time to rest. In late spring, the influence of winter is completely eliminated and the temperature rises all the way. The mercury column on the thermometer climbs to the temperature, which is the hottest season. As far as the scenery is concerned, there is no need to look for spring scenery, and there are vast green hills to comfort people. The ancients said: "Du Yu went with a spring, and countless trees came out." It turns out that the mountain will not be completely green until spring, and it will attract people's attention. I think grass and snow are the greatest phenomena in natural scenery. When the creator painted the big picture of "nature", Chun Hong and Qiu Yan were only slightly stained with rouge and Zhu Qi, which was an understatement. When it comes to describing snow and grass, he did not hesitate to draw. He dipped his brush in lead powder, gamboge and flower green, and smeared it in chunks, making the house all white and the mountains all green. This seems to be the pointillism of Mi Pai's landscape painting and the "color block" of Cezanne's landscape painting. What a provocative painting style! And the grass is green, even everywhere, especially peaceful and amiable, selfless spring scenery. Flowers and trees are sometimes kept in private gardens, eating the gardener's lynching and flattering ladies and gentlemen. No matter how high or low, grass is everywhere. Everyone thinks that flowers are spring works, but in fact, spring works are not in flowers, but in grass. How many people can see these flowers? Grass grows widely on the earth's surface and is widely appreciated by the public. This kind of beauty is not available in early spring. At that time, Shan Ye was covered with withered grass, which was gaunt and looked uncomfortable. Only by the end of spring, when the hay is gone, can there really be green mountains and green waters, and the world will be new. There is nothing better than this time of year. Nature's kindness to people is also the deepest at this time.

Materialist westerners have always attached importance to this season and called it May. May is the happiest time of the year. There are all kinds of entertainment activities in the world, such as May Queen, May Pillar, May Games and so on. The word May originally meant "youth" and "prime of life". It can be seen that Westerners regard May of the year as the happiest, happiest and most beautiful period, just like youth in life. This is really worthy of the name. However, the Japanese view is different from theirs: the Japanese call this period of time late spring, to be exact, it is to stay in spring, send it off, cherish it and hurt it, but when you are feeling, sighing and crying, you can't talk about happiness at all. The joy of orientals lies in the fact that the Spring Festival is a half-uneven green, willow and yellow, that is, sunny, rainy, warm, cold and difficult to rest. At this time, although it is uncomfortable in real life, it is the greatest spiritual enjoyment to observe the germination of willow flowers and the rejuvenation of heaven and earth. So "May" in the West is equivalent to "Spring" in the East. These two words sound good to read and look beautiful. However, May is material and practical, while spring is spiritual and artistic. Discrimination between eastern and western cultures can also be seen here.

For my children, Feng Zikai.

My child! I look forward to your life, more than once a day! I want to say it in a roundabout way, so that you can understand it yourself.

Yes It's a pity that when you understand what I mean, you are no longer the person I can expect. How did this happen?

What a sad thing!

Look ahead! You are particularly admirable. You are a real person, and your body and mind are open. You seem to be trying to deal with everything with all your energy. A little depressed, like a peanut turned to the ground and chewed its tongue, and the kitten refused to eat the cake. You cried your lips white and fainted for a minute or two. Grandma Putuo went to burn incense and bought you a clay figurine. How devoted you are to holding him and feeding him; One day, you broke him by mistake, and your crying sorrow is more real than the bankruptcy, lovelorn, heartbreak, bereavement and total annihilation of an adult. How serious you are when you straighten your voice and call it "Wang-"and "Goo-goo ..." instead of gasoline. Sister Bao tells you a story. When she said, "Sister Moon hangs a basket, and Sister Bao sits in the basket and looks down", how passionately you argued with her and said, "Look up, Sister Bao looks down!" I even cried in front of Mangu and asked for a trial. Every time I shave my head, you really doubt that I have become a monk, and you don't want me to hug you several times. This summer, when you sat on my knee and saw the long hair under my arm, how sad you were. You immediately climbed down from me, stared at me at first, and then cried in disappointment, just like relatives and friends who were sentenced to death. You asked me to carry you to the station, buy as many bananas as possible, and come back with my hands all over the floor. When I got back to the door, you were asleep on my shoulder, and the banana in your hand was somewhere. What an admirable truth, nature and enthusiasm! Compared with you, the so-called virtues of "silence", "implication" and "profundity" in the world are unnatural, pathological and false!

Every day, you take the train, take the bus, handle wine, invite bodhisattvas, pile up six paintings and sing songs, all of which are automatic and create a creative life. The call sign of adults is "return to nature!" "The artistry of life!" "The artistry of labor!" What a shame in front of you! People who draw a few strokes and write a few articles according to the pattern are called artists and creators, and they are even more ashamed to die for you!

You must think: what strange lifeless animals are the father who spends all his time writing on the desk and the mother who sits under the window and makes fuses! Your mother and I, as strange animals, sometimes really destroy you for you. Looking back now, it really bothers me!

Po. One night, when you took off your soft new shoes and put them on the feet of the stool, and your socks stood on the ground and proudly shouted "Po has two feet and the stool has four feet", your mother shouted "Dirty socks!" I'll catch you on a cane chair and ruin your creation. When you crouch on the sofa and watch your mother destroy it, your little heart will feel "how rude a mother is!" "

Look ahead! One day, Ming Kai Bookstore sent several newly published books "Introduction to Music". I cut the pages page by page with a knife, and you stand at the table with your head sideways and watch silently. Later, when I came back from school, you had taken a copy of China's Songs of the South [1], printed it on my bookshelf with historical paper, cut it into dozens of pages, and proudly said to me, "Dad! Zhan Zhan will also be cut! " Look ahead! What a joy of success and what a proud job it is for you! But I snorted in horror. These words made you cry. At that time, you must be complaining about "how unknown dad is"!

Soft! You often try to make fun of my long-haired wool. When I see it, I always take you away without mercy. Now you must despise me and think, "You finally want me to draw the cover of your portfolio!" "

Kids. I'm glad you really complain about me; When your complaint turns into gratitude, my sadness will come!

I've never met anyone like you. The combination of people in the world has never been completely true and pure like you. The most important thing is that I went to Shanghai to do boring so-called "things" and came back, or I went to work with unrelated people.

How ashamed and happy I was when I came back from a prank called "Ben" and you were waiting for me at the door or the station! I am ashamed of why I did such a boring thing, and I am glad that I have to join the real life group in your for the time being.

However, your golden age is limited, and the reality will eventually be exposed. This is what I have experienced and what adults have experienced. I saw the heroes among my childhood friends shrink back, obey, compromise and yield to the point of being like a sheep. I am the same myself. "Looking back on today, or looking back on the past", we will go this way soon!

My child! Looking forward to your life, I am infatuated with keeping this golden age in this booklet forever for you. However, this is really like a "spider web falling flower", leaving a little trace of spring. By the time you understand my feelings, you are no longer such a person, and my paintings have no way to be verified in the world! What a sad thing it is!

Hu ye yin feng Zikai

The night before yesterday, four friends who came to the West Lake for a spring outing were drinking in my lakeside cabin. The wine is gone, and the bright moon is in the sky. The lake is like a mirror, full of flowers. Send guests out, reluctant to part with the spring moon on the lake and go for a walk by the lake. Liu Yin got off a stone bench and waited for me to sit down. I sat down and remembered the spring moon song I sang at school when I was a child: "There is a bright moon on a spring night, and everyone is happy. Whenever the light is on, the clouds are shining. People celebrate the moon, and flowers and moons give birth to light. You can't drink wine. Raise a glass to offer a high hall. " I think the lyrics are gentle and sincere, so cute! It's a pity that I am a primary school student now, and I have no luck to sing such a good song. Looking back on the last two sentences of that song, I feel that I am dead. Although I have good wine, I have nowhere to offer it. I am very sad! Three "very hard" forces

I got up and walked home slowly. Otherwise, I am afraid I will drop my eyes on the lake embankment and be laughed at by the moonlight.

When I returned home, my family said that after I saw the guests off, a Shanghai guest named CT( 1) checked into Geling Hotel. My family told him that I was watching the moon by the lake, and he went to see me by the lake. This was half an hour ago, and now the clock is half past ten. I think, CT can't find me, so I must go back to the hotel to rest. I stopped looking for him that night and went to bed. The next morning, I went to the Green Hotel to look for him. He is out, and the tea boy is cleaning his room. I left a piece and invited him to my house for a drink at noon or at night. He didn't come at noon. In the evening, he didn't come again. As a Shanghainese, it is difficult for him to go to Hangzhou. As soon as he saw the West Lake, he spent all his time chasing around, didn't go back to the hotel, and didn't see my business card left at the hotel. I'll just drink it alone and pour a catty as usual.

At eight o'clock in the evening, I was as drunk as a fiddler when CT came. After ten years of separation and pain, he became fatter and younger. He said I was the same, but my hair was whiter. "After this boring decade, we meet again. We have all changed. The first time I heard your surname, I thought you were a stranger. Then I heard your name, and I remember your young face. " Although this poem is very good, we can't sing it. After a few pleasantries, I asked him if he had dinner. He said that he had a meal by the lake, drank a catty of wine, and kept coming to see me instead of going back to the hotel. He didn't see my business card that I left in his hotel. A catty of wine in my stomach was immediately cleared up in front of my old friend who drank heavily in Shanghai when I was young. I said, "Let's have a bar again!" He said, "OK, no vegetables." It's raining lightly outside the window, and the moonlight is hazy. Unlike bloom last night, the West Lake has another gentle and quiet attitude. Last night, it was appropriate to walk by the lake. Tonight, it is appropriate to have a drink in front of the lamp with old friends. "Spring rain cuts leeks", what a touching poem! Unfortunately, I don't have a home, and I haven't planted leeks. Even if I grow leeks in the garden, I don't want to cut them and have a drink with CT tonight. Because the actual leek is far less delicious than the leek in the poem. According to this poem, what a stupid thing it is!

The maid brought out a pot of wine and four basins, and put the sauced duck, sauced meat, preserved eggs and peanuts on the Eight Immortals table next to the radio. CT and I just sat and drank. On the wall above the radio, there is a poem by mathematician Su, which I wrote: "When cups and plates are in a hurry, the words are bitter." . The spring breeze in front of the door is green, and it is cold-resistant. "With this poem, the wine tastes particularly good. I think the best wine and food in the world is poetry. There are also poems by mathematicians, which are particularly pure. Because I think there can be experts in other things, but not in poetry. Because writing poetry is being a man. People do well, so do poems. Isn't it ridiculous to say that there are experts in poetry and non-experts can't write poetry, just like saying that there are experts in life and non-experts can't be human? Therefore, I don't like reading some "expert" poems. Because they tend to love classicism and follow tradition; Speak like a book and show off the mystery; Pinky, pretentious; Even nervous, trance. Damn it. The poems of non-experts are straight, clear, naive, pure, simple and lovely. There is a poem by Sue in front of the bottle. The sauce duck, sauce meat, preserved eggs and peanuts on the table taste like chewing wax; Spit out! Me and CT***, and delicious wine dishes! Just old times. After leaving for ten years, I collapsed. He landed on an isolated island and I ran in the mountains. It's amazing and comforting. The more you talk, the more you talk. When it comes to drinking and burning your ears, your voice has changed, and your call sign has been called, which has awakened everyone who sleeps next door. Speaking of more than 20 years ago, he worked as an editor in Baoshan Road Commercial Press, and talking about my teaching in Jiangwan Lida College, he wanted to see my children, the three protagonists in cartoons he had seen when he was young: Po, Ruan and Zhan. Zhan Zhan is now called Fenghua Zhan, and he is in Peking University Research Institute, but I can't name him. Po and Ruan Ruan are now called Feng Chenbao and Feng Ningxin. They have graduated from university and are teaching in middle schools. At the moment, they are practicing Pingju with their brothers and sisters in the wing! I called them to see you. CT put his hand on the ground beside the table and said, "When I saw you in Jiangwan, it was only this high." They laughed, and so did we. The taste of this smile is half sweet and half bitter, half happy and half sad. The so-called "taste of life" can be strongly tasted here. CT called Po "Big Miss" and Ruan "Third Miss". I said, "Peanut is not satisfied, so I found a new official, a soft bride, Sister Bao as a matchmaker, a two-foot treasure, a four-foot bench, and so on, all of which were removed from my wall and published in Literature Weekly. How do you, an old-timer, treat their children? Still called' Po' and' Soft'. " Everyone laughed. The taste of life is strongly tasted here. We just drank two cups in silence. I saw the booze of CT, no less than twenty years ago. I recall an old incident more than 20 years ago. One day, I met CT in front of Risheng Building. He took my hand and said, "Zikai, let's eat western food." I said "OK". He went west with me, went upstairs to Jinlong Western Restaurant opposite the New World and ordered two company dishes. Plus a bottle of brandy. After eating, the servant brought the bill. CT said to me, "Do you have any money on you?" I said, "Yes!" Took out a five-dollar bill and paid the bill. So they went downstairs and went home together-he went back to Zhabei and I went back to Jiangwan. A day later, CT came to Jiangwan to see me, took out a ten-dollar bill and said, "I asked you to pay the bill the day before yesterday, and I will pay you back today." I was surprised and laughed, and said, "Why do you want to pay me back when the account has been settled?" ? Why pay me back twice as much? "I insisted on putting ten dollars into his suit bag, and he insisted on refusing. Liu Xunyu, a colleague of Lida sitting next to her, came over and grabbed the bill and said, "You're welcome, take it to Xinjiangwan Store!" "Everyone agrees. So he invited seven or eight people, including Kuang Xiangsheng and Fang Guangtao, to have a drink in a small hotel in Xinjiangwan. When we finished this 10 dollar bill, everyone was drunk. This situation, Ran Jing see in the eye. Now Mr. Xia and Kuang are dead, Liu Xunyu is far away in Guiyang, and Fang Guangtao doesn't know where. Only CT is still here drinking with me. This is not a rare thing in the world! We've got two more great white sharks.

Drinking at night, the spring rain is continuous. I left my CT at home. He has to go back to the hotel. I gave him an umbrella and watched his tall body gradually disappear in the drizzle in Liu Yin. I thought, "He won't bring me two umbrellas tomorrow!" " "

Thirty-seven years (1948), I lived in a lake house on the evening of March 28th.