What are the funny quotations in Little Shenyang?

What are the funny quotations in Little Shenyang?

1. Mistakes are temporary regrets, and misses are eternal regrets.

2. Four tragedies in life: long drought meets rain; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When I want to be the first, I dream.

3. Close your eyes and open them again, and the day will pass. When your eyes are closed and you never open them, your life is over.

God has given us acne while giving us youth.

There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went and I vomited; One day you went and the monkey threw up.

6. Everyone else spends money, but I spend money every day.

7. When you point your finger at others, please don't forget that your own three fingers are also pointing at yourself.

If you want to succeed, you should regard persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry.

9. Sleep is for practical work, and work is for practical sleep.

10. Men deepen their friendship because of alcohol and tobacco, while women deepen their friendship because of complaints.

1 1. Love makes people forget time, and time makes people forget love.

12. Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except shit.

13. Find a boyfriend like EXCEL-hide if you want, filter if you want, delete if you want, and I won't save unhappy people!

14. Green hills remain, but there is still no firewood.

15. I must be reborn as a woman in my next life and then marry a man like me.

16. Life is like a poker game! Not to catch a good hand, but to play a bad hand.

17. I was so sad that tears filled my eyes and I was heartbroken. This is the price of "two".

18. Don't say that women are too realistic if men don't have skills, and don't say that men are too playboy if women don't have strength.

19. A successful husband has more money than his wife can spend, and a successful wife finds such a husband.

Many years ago, there was a rainbow after the storm.

2 1. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you!

Love is like playing basketball. There are attacks and defenses, and sometimes there are fake actions!

23. Many people have jumped off buildings recently, so be careful not to be hit.

24. above people, treat people as people; Under people, treat yourself as a person.

When I was paid, the accountant said to me, "You should get paid every six months. There are too few changes now. "

26. Men have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

27. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig-it is Bajie!

28. Other people's money and wealth are my property.

29. The ideal of life is the ideal life.

30. Strongly protest against commercial TV series!

3 1. You can't eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man is eaten in one bite!

32. My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

33. If it is a mistake to have money, I would rather make the same mistake again.

34. I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. I was shocked when I ate the first one: Is there anything worse in the world? I cried after eating the second one: there really is!

35. Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

36. Women are divided into married and unmarried, and men are divided into voluntary marriage and forced marriage.

37. Stop eating pork and watch the pigs run away.

38. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, this means it's itchy, but it can't be scratched. More unfortunately, the soul and body have not felt that itch for a long time.

39. Economists say that capital flows add value. Later, I found that my own funds were flowing and others' funds were increasing in value.

40. If you love someone, you have to understand and understand. Apologize and thank you; We must admit our mistakes and correct them; Be considerate and considerate; Is to accept rather than endure; It is tolerance rather than connivance; Is to support rather than dominate; It is sympathy rather than questioning; Is to pour out rather than blame; Is unforgettable rather than forgotten; Communicate with each other instead of explaining everything; Is to pray silently for each other instead of making many demands on each other.

4 1. What's the use of handsome! Finally, it was eaten by the "pawn"!

42. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?

43. Love is like two people pulling a rubber band, and the injured one is always unwilling to let go!

When I was a child, my teacher told me the definition of "handsome boy", which puzzled me. Later my classmates showed me a mirror. Oh, I suddenly understand!

45. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and my bones and muscles strain.

46. At first glance, you are not so good. It's better to look at you carefully and fiercely.

47. If you are not afraid of being used, you are afraid of being useless.

48. Long ago, lies and truth bathed by the river. The lies were washed first, and they left in real clothes, but the truth refused to wear lies. Later, in people's eyes, only lies in real clothes are hard to accept the naked truth.

49. Men hate women's vulgarity when they have no money, and wish women's vulgarity when they have money.

I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press "ctrl c" and keep "ctrl v".

5 1. People always make mistakes, otherwise the right way will be crowded.

If you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind!

53. What is more valuable than gold is honesty; Broader than the sea is tolerance; Morality is higher than mountains.

54. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!

55. The generation gap is-I asked my father, "What do you think of Chrysanthemum Terrace?" Dad thought for a moment and said, "No!"

56. A woman who knows a little about men finally becomes a man's wife, and a woman who knows a lot about men finally becomes an old woman.

57. When I was a child, I didn't study. My mother said, "When I grow up, I will let you marry a bachelor who sells pork." Now daughter Jiao Yu: "Study hard and grow up to marry a bachelor selling pork."

58. Driving is not difficult, but there are new people.

59. Are you bored at work? Flip a coin, surf the internet on the front, sleep on the back, work when you stand up, work hard when you stand up, and apply for overtime when you fail. If you throw two pieces, throw them every day!

60. Everyone has at least one dream and one strong reason.

6 1. Lying in bed in the morning, I took out a coin from my pocket: If it's all heads, I'll go to class. Hesitated for a long time, forget it. Don't take the risk.

62. Never hang yourself on a tree, but try several times in the surrounding trees.

64. When you have no money, eat wild vegetables at home; If you have money, go to the hotel to eat wild vegetables.

65. Remember what should be remembered and forget what should be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed.

66. Go to the hospital for a physical examination and pass the ENT. After careful examination, the doctor wrote a "handsome" on my physical examination form.

67. I want to puppy love, but it's too late.

68. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

You will never see me when I love you the most, because I love you the most only when I can't see you. Similarly, you will never see my loneliest time, because I am the loneliest only when you can't see me.

70. Nostalgia-not because of how good that era was, but because you were young at that time.

7 1. Time is the best teacher, unfortunately-in the end, he killed all the students.

72. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

73. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

74. Student: Don't speculate in stocks. It's too risky It's safest to make tofu-it's dried tofu when it's hard, tofu brain when it's thin, tofu skin when it's thin, soybean milk when it's gone, and stinky tofu when it's stinky. You can make a steady profit without losing money.

75. Cherish your life-if God keeps you alive, you must have a plan.

76. It's not the distant mountains that make you tired, but a grain of sand in your shoes!

77. People are afraid of being famous pigs and being strong, while men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.

78. I will be good friends with whoever says I am white, thin and beautiful.

79. Don't force a man to lie, he will hate you; Don't take his words seriously, you will hate him.

80. If marriage is the grave of love, then I expect someone to bury me.

8 1. Rose, yours; Chocolate, yours; Diamonds, yours; You, mine.

82. Men fool women and call it flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

Jack should have Jill.

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

85. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.

86. Occasionally, living in silence will feel great, and living in silence will feel miserable.

87. Impulse shows that you still have passion for life; Always impulsive, which means you don't know life yet.

88. Mom said that it is best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and a person who loves you deeply.

89. I have not only a car, but also my own car.

90. Mature people don't ask about the past, smart people don't ask about the present, and open-minded people don't ask about the future.

9 1. I allow you to walk into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

92. Let nature take its course, be calm when things go wrong, be indifferent when you are proud, and be calm when you are frustrated.

93. If the heart has no place to live, it will wander everywhere!

94. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that being handsome can be so single-minded!

95. The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to always have food in one place, but to have food everywhere all your life.

96. A person may need very little in his life-a glass of water, a bowl of rice and a sentence "I love you". But I hope: you pour water, you cook, and you tell me that I love you.

97. I am also the seed of infatuation. It rained ... and I drowned.

98. In a threesome, there must be a teacher, a swordsman, a strong person, a love triangle and a wound.

99. Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves and be bullied.

100. I can't play chess or draw, so I'm tired of washing and cooking.

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