A humorous story

Humorous joke stories, after work and study, we might as well get together for dinner and chat with family or friends. Besides talking about parents' shortcomings, we can also talk about the lively atmosphere of jokes, which is a great means to create an atmosphere in crowded places. Let's look at those humorous jokes.

Humorous joke stories 1 humorous joke stories (popular)

1. My online girlfriend, whom I have never met, said she wanted to know what I looked like. I sent her a photo of six people in our dormitory and proudly said: I am the most handsome person in it. As a result, she guessed right the sixth time.

The old lady on the bus is afraid to ask questions every time she stops. As soon as the bus arrived at the station, she kept stabbing the driver with an umbrella: "Is this the convention center?" "No, this is ribs!

When I was shopping that day, I heard a salesgirl shout loudly that the time limit for leather shoes was 60% off for one hour. When I walked past, I suddenly heard her whisper that I was exhausted and had been shouting for two hours.

4. Boyfriend: Honey, do you know why all fish are dumb? Girlfriend: I don't know. Boyfriend: It's simple. All you have to do is put your head in the water and try to say a few words.

Chatting with friends, talking about you, I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan, which was really too much! I didn't treat you like a pig at all!

6. My boyfriend came home from work and saw a note left by his wife on the table: "Dear, I went to my girlfriend's house. I have fish for dinner, and the fishing rod is behind the door.

7. Teacher: "What is your ideal?" Pupils: "Eat well, dress well and live well." Teacher: "Can your ideal be higher?" Pupils: "Eat well, dress well and live well."

8. I went to dinner with my colleagues after work at noon, and a big man was doing it cross-legged on the roadside. I asked my colleague what happened. Colleague: "I have no money to buy medicine, so I have to sit on the ground and return blood."

9. I lost the bet today and bought a sanitary brocade for my deskmate. I was about to enter the classroom when the teacher saw me. Ask me what it is. I said tactfully, it's bread. The teacher dumped me: stand outside and eat before coming in.

10. Walking with his classmates, he accidentally dropped the Nokia in his hand, and it became three parts, you know ... with some coins mixed in it. Only passers-by said faintly: Oh, look at people, even the phone bill has fallen out. ...

1 1. The barber downstairs hit a sugar-coated gourd seller! At the police station, the policeman asked the barber, "Why do you sell candied haws?" The barber said, "I am perming my hair in the house, and she is shouting perm outside!" " "

12. I worked overtime today. The female colleague brought a bag of milk and heated it on the water heater. My male colleague is going to turn on the water. The female colleague asked in a low voice, "Do you touch my milk?" ? Male colleagues say there are many people, while female colleagues say it doesn't matter. Touching is not for you to drink. ..

A humorous joke (classic)

1. One day, I heard a friend quarreling with his girlfriend. His girlfriend said, "Get out of here!" Friend: "well, fuck off and don't call me back!" " "His girlfriend:" I didn't tell you to go straight, I told you to go back and forth! "Roll back and forth ..."

2. A: "My ex-girlfriend has a good figure, so I can easily dump her." B: "it's good! How did you become your predecessor? " A: "er ... I threw it too high and missed it." I'm still lying in the hospital ...

3. Girlfriend: "Me, what's yours?" Man: "You are my Coca Cola!" " Woman: "Hee hee, I hate it, so you can hold me in your hand?" Man: "Where do you want to go? I mean, you are angry! " "

4. The guest said to the little host, Look, what beautiful curly hair is it from mom? The young master thought: I think my father gave it to me, because now he has no hair on his head.

The captain is very strict about hygiene. One day, the sailor reported that the deck was washed with glass and the mast was washed. Please indicate. After the inspection, the captain was really spotless, so he said, then wash the anchor.

Humorous joke story 2 humorous joke story 1

It would be nice if it came true.

My classmate told me a dream that I had once dreamed that I married a very rich Gao Fushuai man. The wedding banquet was very extravagant, with 60 Lamborghini cars. After drinking the church toast, this guy woke up when he got married. When I woke up, the goods burst into tears, not because it was just a dream, but because I woke up and remembered that I was a man!

What I can't get, no one else can get.

There is a female colleague in the office, generous and lovely, and she has a very good relationship with her husband. Once we talked about mistress at dinner, I asked her: If your husband had an affair, would you divorce him? She squinted at her husband and said simply, I have never been divorced in my life, only widowed!

Did you wash the dishes later?

I just had dinner at the hotel and asked my boss for the WIFI password. The boss said LYP82NLF. I said it was too hard to remember, and the boss replied with a smile. A bottle of 82 Lafite is easy to remember! I watched and typed in my password. Just after I finished typing, I heard a bang. The waiter smiled and said, your Lafite is 32,000 yuan, thank you. ...

Humorous jokes and short stories II

success

Bernard is a famous French writer and occupies an important position in the history of French film. Once, a French newspaper held an award-winning quiz. One of the questions is: If the Louvre, the largest museum in France, caught fire and only one painting was allowed to be rescued, which one would you rob? Results Among thousands of answers received by newspapers, Bernard won the prize for this question with the best answer. His answer is: "I grabbed the painting closest to the exit."

The best goal of success is not the most valuable goal, but the most likely goal.

Humorous jokes and short stories 3

success

In the restaurant, an extremely humble person timidly touched another customer wearing a coat.

"Excuse me, are you Mr. Pierre?"

"No, I'm not." The man replied.

"Ah," he breathed a sigh of relief, "then I'm not mistaken. I am him. You are wearing his coat. "

Humorous jokes, three stories and a classic and interesting bedtime story.

Once upon a time, there was a dense forest where many lovely animals lived. Among them, rabbits, monkeys and white geese live in this forest. They grew up together as three inseparable friends.

One day, these three good friends are playing games. Suddenly, a wolf appeared behind the tree. The wolf saw them drooling: haha! Today, I have good taste!

At this time, the little white rabbit, who was playing nearby, saw the wolf's attempt with sharp eyes. The little white rabbit had a brainwave. While everyone was playing games, he whispered to his companions, "I found a wolf behind the big tree." After a while, I shouted "one, two, three" and ran away, so we ran quickly. " Knowing that there was a big bad wolf, the little monkey and the white goose got nervous and looked around in panic. "Don't be nervous," said Little Rabbit. "Do as I say for a while, and we will be fine." The little monkey and the white goose said in unison, "Good!"

So, just as the wolf was about to pounce, the rabbit quickly shouted, "One, two, three, run!" " "I saw the three of them split into three heads and ran away. No one caught the wolf that the doctor didn't expect. On the contrary, the wolf missed the air and accidentally fell into the muddy water, looking like a dirty dress.

Chapter two classic and interesting bedtime stories

In a dense forest, there is a green grass, the breeze is blowing slowly, and the grass is twisting like a dancer.

There are a group of lovely animals living in the forest, including leisurely cows, sheep in white clothes, and jumping rabbits who eat grass. Their bellies are round and big like balloons, and they sleep and exercise on the grass after eating.

One winter, the grass turned yellow, and the little rabbit accidentally lit it with a box of match sticks. After three days and nights, all the grass was burned, and the small animals in the forest were very sad. They all decided to say with a sigh, "Let's move next spring!"

When winter went and spring came, the little rabbit found the grass growing again when she moved. They were so happy that they quickly said to the little animals, "Friends, come out and have a look, the grass is growing again!" " The little animals were very confused and asked in a voice, "How did the grass grow after burning?" "

Uncle goat shook his head and said, "This is what people say. Wildfire will not devour them, but they will grow taller again in the spring breeze." This is the life habit of grass! We must learn the perseverance of the grass.

Three classic and interesting bedtime stories

Lazy pig is too lazy to be surprised. He sleeps after eating all day and gets fatter and fatter. It sees other people's strong physique and flexible movements and admires them from the heart. I heard that running can lose weight, so I want to take part in exercise, but I'm too lazy to get up early. The enthusiastic neighbor rooster, after learning about it, volunteered to wake it up on time every morning.

At dawn the next day, the lazy pig was still snoring in his sleep, and the rooster came to urge the lazy pig to get up as promised. The lazy pig didn't refuse at all. He gritted his teeth and got up, rubbed his sleepy eyes and ran around the yard again and again until he was panting and his limbs were weak.

"Yes, yes, just exercise," the rooster was very satisfied and praised and encouraged again and again. "As long as you persist, it won't be long before you can achieve the effect of slimming."

In this way, the lazy pig crustily skin of head persisted for three mornings. On the fourth day, when the rooster woke him up again, he couldn't get up in the grass nest.

"Take a day off, little ancestor, it's too tired to stand." The lazy pig begged with a bitter face.

"That how line? The key to exercise slimming is the word' persistence', which can be effective. " The rooster advised it to say.

"Oh, my god, this is unbearable. My eyes are faint, my limbs are weak, my back is sore and my head is dizzy. If I run again, I will die. Let me take a day off. " This lazy pig just doesn't get up.

The rooster has no choice but to walk away.

This will happen for days on end. Despite the urging of the rooster, the lazy pig always pushes from pillar to post, saying that fatigue has not been completely eliminated and physical strength has not fully recovered.

Early this morning, the rooster went to urge him to get up for exercise, but the lazy pig simply refused.

"I said good brother, please give me a break, don't push me any more, I don't want to do any more exercise to lose weight." The lazy pig begged the poor cock.

"How did that happen? You will get fatter and fatter if you don't exercise to lose weight. " The rooster still wants to persuade it.

"I don't believe this deceptive story. You see, "the pig pointed to the waist and then pointed to the thigh," so many days not only didn't lose weight, but proved that exercise can't lose weight; Besides, how hard exercise is, it is simply suffering. I'd rather be a little fatter, a little more stupid, or scold a bad word or two than do such stupid things again. "

The rooster shook his head and said, "Alas, you are so afraid of hardship, greedy for pleasure and lack perseverance. What can you do?"