Feel thoughts, emotions, hearts and relationships through the body.

After half a year's thinking and expectation, the trip to Tengchong has finally begun. This trip is not for traveling, but for

Feel thoughts, emotions, hearts and relationships through the body.

After half a year's thinking and expectation, the trip to Tengchong has finally begun. This trip is not for traveling, but for finishing one of my homework. It is said that I went to Tengchong National Memorial Cemetery to pay homage to the expeditionary force in order to better contact with the paternal family, because my grandfather was an expeditionary force, because my sexual relationship case was somehow involved here, and because this involvement made my body react strongly in an instant. Stomach discomfort, nausea, blocked throat, numbness and fever ... So, the case changed here. Finally, I remembered that my whole body was like blood flowing, just one word-"hot".

This is not the first experience for me. I clearly remember that I had similar feelings in the gender workshops of Mr. Shenghua and Mr. Zhiyuan. At that time, when I mentioned my gender identity, my body unconsciously reacted, and my whole body was as numb as electricity, so that my limbs could not move. At that moment, I felt that I was dying, afraid, struggling, and eager for someone to save me. At this time, Teacher Zhiyuan came. Her voice accompanied my tinnitus, as if from another time and space. It is this kind of sound and companionship that makes the numbness in my body gradually dissipate, and then a heat flow along my spine slowly heats up all over. ...

Many times after the workshop, I want to write something through my own experience and understanding, but I really hate writing. First, I don't know how to write. Second, I think this feeling is my own, and others can't understand it when they write it. Who can believe that a case will have the feeling of death? Third, it is better to have a good sleep with this kung fu. I lack sleep and cherish it when I sleep!

I went to Tengchong this time, and the night I came back from the memorial service of the National Memorial Cemetery, I just wanted to write down my feelings and experiences. As a result, I was finally defeated by sleepiness, and I went back to Guangzhou to continue to be defeated by sleepiness. Until today, I saw a sentence written by teacher Zhiyuan in the group: "The course of body wisdom takes the body as the entrance, feeling: thoughts, emotions, hearts, relationships …", which killed my drowsiness, and most importantly, I felt completely during the trip to Tengchong.

Before we left, my friends and I asked for leave, told me we were going to Tengchong, and told my grandfather's story. As soon as I opened my mouth, I said, "My grandfather doesn't like girls." As soon as this voice fell, I burst into tears. When I got home, I reacted and the traumatic reaction came again. I have to transfer in Kunming to Tengchong. Kunming rested for one night, and the next morning I rushed to the airport to wait for the plane. I wanted to send a "mixed feelings at this time" in my circle of friends, but I didn't think it was enough to describe my mood at this moment, so I wrote "There is a feeling of blending time and space at this time" and looked out the window and burst into tears!

After the plane landed in Tengchong, my husband and I went to the National Memorial Cemetery. As soon as we got off the bus, we saw several big characters "China Expeditionary Force Directory Wall" in the distance. Standing under the wall, looking at bundles of white chrysanthemums, my throat began to clog. Then I picked up my mobile phone and took a photo, which I sent to my family at the first time.

Then I followed a group of tour groups into the cemetery. My husband asked me to listen to the tour guide's explanation, so we followed all the way into the Martyrs Temple and looked at the rows of wreaths. My tears came up. With the tour guide's explanation, I saw tears in her eyes and her throat became more and more uncomfortable.

We walked along the path to the cemetery. After three bows, my back began to get cold. I said to my husband, "I forgot to buy flowers just now." Let's go to the door and buy some flowers. "

I bought white chrysanthemums, walked into the Martyrs Temple, bowed deeply and presented a bunch of white chrysanthemums, which made my throat ache. Walking to the tombstone, I bowed deeply and presented a bunch of chrysanthemums, and my legs began to become heavy; Along the steps, through a cemetery, step by step to the top of the mountain, in front of the monument, bowed deeply and presented a bunch of white chrysanthemums.

At this point, I want to cry, I endure. I didn't want my husband to see me, so I looked up at the sky. Too blue.

My tense voice unconsciously swallowed and adjusted my mood. I said to my husband, "Let's go down the mountain." . But at this time, my thigh began to cramp inexplicably, so I had to stop, find a stone bench and sit down, facing the monument.

My back is getting colder and colder, my throat is getting blocked and my stomach is uncomfortable. I said to my husband, "I really can't stand it. I want to cry." Husband replied: "cry if you want." Finally, my mood collapsed after this sentence. I sat on the bench, bent down, stroked my cramped leg, cried and sobbed, and then began to feel sick.

Sitting back on the stone bench, I began to talk to my husband about what kind of person Grandpa is in my heart and the story between me and Grandpa. During this period, I mentioned countless "why". Of course, my husband kept giving me responses and chatting, and I found that my sense of complaining about my grandfather was declining, especially when my husband told me about the past historical experience of the expeditionary force, which made me understand his cognition and behavior at that time. The word "life" reappears, and the vitality of the paternal family is really strong. Grandpa lived a long life and died at the age of 90 without pain. Aunt recovered from late cancer; My father was ill when he was a child, but he survived before he was ready to throw himself into the river the next day. My cousin is also my grandfather's favorite grandson. He passed by death in a car accident. At this time, my mind is full of members of the paternal family, and everyone flashes in my mind, warming my cold back gradually.

I feel my life, and those "why" are no longer important to me. Behind these "why", grandpa still taught me many life skills. What is important is that I am a vivid life for both men and women. In my life, I have been surrounded by love since childhood. I can even talk to women about beauty and elegance, and I can also talk to men about Paoge's loyalty and young and dangerous people. Think about it, it's really special and great!

Especially the scene between me and grandpa flashed by. What impressed me most was that I came to Guangzhou after graduation and met him at home on holidays. I pulled out a cigarette and handed it to him. He told me happily that he had been to Guangzhou and walked across the Haizhu Bridge. I said to him politely, "Come to Guangzhou in the future." As we all know, this so-called trip to Guangzhou is the way for his expeditionary force to return home. I don't know if it is an invisible arrangement. I left home and came to Guangzhou, where I took root.

? "Life", staring at the monument, I am still thinking about what is "life" and "what is the meaning of life?" Maybe the real answer will take a lifetime to find. Perhaps the meaning of life lies in exploring what "life" is, but I think the definition and meaning of "life" will be different at every moment. At this moment, for me, it is to understand "life", to see "life", to support "life", to do what I want to do, to live well and live happily.

My son said, "Eat well when you should eat, study hard when you should study, work hard when you should work, and have fun when you should play ... even if you don't want it, don't." If you can really do as Eva said, I think my "life" will bloom like a flower!

There is still a lot of homework to do to explore the road of "life" For me, it will be faster to take your time!