The lines in 96 Spring Festival Evening sketch "Crossroads" are at the crossroads.

Screenwriter: Han Shaogang

Adapted by director: Jin Jing

Performances: Zhao Liang, Guo.

Wei Jian (old man): I'm 53 years old. I set up a tea stall on the roadside. A bowl of tea costs 10 cents, which is convenient for pedestrians.

Zhao Liang: Getting rich depends on ourselves. Do more with less. If you want to know what I can do, ask the way. It's two yuan.

Wei Jian (old man): Zhao Liang, what are you doing?

Zhao Liang: I'm waiting for someone ... I wait once a thousand years, I wait. ...

Guo: Oh, what a pity! This man is highly nearsighted. If he has no eyes, he will be blind. Although I have eyes, it is actually a picture frame. Just now, at the intersection ahead, I fell down with a bang. Well, both lenses are broken. Why are you blind? Alas, something is furry.

Zhao Liang: Go!

Guo: It seems to be a person.

Zhao Liang: People.

Guo: Oh, sorry, sorry.

Wei Jian (old man): Come on, sit down and have tea. A bowl is ten cents.

Guo: Great, I want a bowl.

how much is it?

Wei Jian (old man): 10 cents a bowl.

K: Ten cents.

Wei Jian (old man): This is a whole piece.

Guo: How can it be a piece? Is it a dime?

Wei Jian (old man): Is this obviously a piece? It's a dime (pointing)

Guo: What! Don't touch other people's money!

Which one do you say is a dime?

Wei Jian (old man): This is a dime.

Guo: How can this be a dime? It's obviously a piece.

Wei Jian (old man): This is obviously a dime!

K: Oh, here you are. One dollar and two dollars are irrelevant to you.

I don't want tea either.

I just want to ask how to get to Xiaowangzhuang in Dawang Township.

Wei Jian (old man): You asked. Here it is.

Guo: This is it? Old people should not be dishonest.

Wei Jian (old man): Why am I dishonest?

Guo: I have never been to Xiaowangzhuang in Dawang Town.

Wei Jian (old man): Ask me if you have been there!

Guo: You shouldn't lie when I ask you!

Wei Jian (old man): Why did I lie to you?

Guo: You didn't lie to me. You took a piece from me and said it was a dime!

Wei Jian (old man): Who? You said yes! (Wei Jian (the old man) gets up and walks behind Zhao Liang, and Zhao Liang stops Wei Jian (the old man))

Guo: Who am I? You took a dollar from me. Who am I? You cheated me of 90 cents for no reason. Who am I? Talk, talk!

Zhao Liang: Hey, I'll tell you how to get to Xiaowangzhuang in Dawang Township.

Guo: Oh, great.

Zhao Liang: Go straight from here, turn left at the first crossing, turn left at the next crossing, and you'll be there.

Guo: Turn left, turn left, turn left. It seems to be a circle.

Zhao Liang: Go ahead, I'm sure.

K: Oh, ok, thank you.

(Talking to Wei Jian (the old man) later) Look at him.

Zhao Liang: Can people compare with each other?

Guo: Really, goodbye.

Zhao Liang: Come back.

Guo: Ah.

Zhao Liang: Give the money.

Guo: What kind of money?

Zhao Liang: Ask the way money.

Guo: Ask for directions and pay back the money?

Zhao Liang: Didn't it say, Ask for directions, two yuan?

Guo: Ouch! ! It costs two yuan to ask for directions!

Wei Jian (old man): (getting up and pulling Zhao Liang) I said Zhao Liang, what's the matter?

Guo: (Right (old man)) What's the matter with you! Young people earn money in the open, unlike you in the dark.

how much is it?

Zhao Liang: (happily) Two dollars!

Guo: I'll give it to you.

Two

Wei Jian (old man): That's one hundred.

Guo: That's 1000! I'm willing to give, two pieces.

Hey, what's up? I was cheated out of ninety cents by this old man for no reason.

Damn it!

Wei Jian (old man): Hey, who's your name? This is! This fool, I said fool, come back!

Zhao Liang: That's a brilliant move. Hurry up and raise the price!

Wei Jian (old man): I said Zhao Liang, charging is something that my ancestors have never done for eight generations.

Zhao Liang: My ancestors didn't do it for eight generations, and I can't do it either.

Wei Jian (old man): You are so bad. You charged him two dollars and cheated him one hundred dollars.

Zhao Liang: It's none of your business.

Wei Jian (old man): I'm still in charge of this.

Zhao Liang: I said, old man, I finally figured out a way to make money. How's this? Let's be partners, 37 each and 46 each! This is your phone ... Grandpa! Uncle! ! (Bowing)

Wei Jian (old man): It's no use calling your father!

Zhao Liang: Free directions and free tea.

Wei Jian (old man): I don't know if he believes it.

Zhao Liang: We'll see.

Wei Jian (old man): We'll see. Here comes the driver.

K: OK, where is this? This is what our drivers are afraid of. There are too many intersections, and we are lost!

Wei Jian (old man): I said, Comrade, go ahead. (Laughter) I know this place too well. There is nothing I don't know about dozens of miles in Fiona Fang, Fiona Fang.

Guo: Boy! This man, excessive enthusiasm is really scary.

I'll go and have a look first (go to Zhao Liang's house and whisper as I walk). Son, you scared me.

Guo: Asking for directions is ten yuan, which is dark enough.

Free guide, white tea and water

Guo: This is Toto!

Wei Jian (old man): Come on, let's drink it and hydrolyze it to quench our thirst!

Guo: How much is a bowl of water?

Wei Jian (old man): Didn't it say, no money?

Guo: I drank it for nothing.

I can drink for nothing (raise a glass to drink water)

Zhao Liang: Delicious.

Guo: I almost fell for it.

Wei Jian (old man): My water is poisonous!

Guo: I didn't say that water was poisonous.

I mean hongqi chemical plant.

(Wei Jian (the old man) and Zhao Liang pull the driver at the same time, each with one arm, Wei Jian (the old man) grabs, and Zhao Liang changes the price. )

Wei Jian (old man): I tell you, you go straight ahead from here.

Guo: Stop it! I didn't hear that. Boy, how much is it?

(Looking back at Zhao Liang) How did it become twenty?

Wei Jian (old man): (looks aggrieved) I don't want money.

Guo: I'd better ask the price tag clearly. Isn't it ten dollars?

(Looking for Zhao Liang in the past) It was only ten dollars just now, but how did it become twenty!

Zhao Liang: He doesn't want money there. Ask him.

Guo: This is a group.

Wei Jian (old man): Who's with him? He is him and I am me.

Guo: He is him, you are you, and I gave you the money. You can share it later.

Wei Jian (old man): I really don't want money.

Guo: Are you kidding?

Wei Jian (old man): I can't lie to anyone.

Guo: Then you lied.

Wei Jian (old man): Why do you think I lied to you at this age?

Guo: Don't tell me that.

Wei Jian (old man) (emphasis): I'll take you there! (The two are dumbfounded, and Wei Jian (the old man) goes to collect the stall)

I can't set up a tea stall, so I can't believe I can't beat this evil.

I said, comrade, you drive and we'll go together. When I saw the sign of Hongqi Chemical Factory, I walked back by myself. Can you believe it?

Guo: I believe it.

Wei Jian (old man): Go! (getting up to go)

Guo: Grandpa, wait a minute. Let me say a few words to this brother.

Brother, come here, I'll give you a word, I'll give you four words: what the hell!

Wei Jian (the old man) smiled: Zhao Liang, it's wicked of you to ask the way.

Guo: Look at people. Who said uncle Lei Feng left? Who is this? This is Uncle Lei Feng! Grandpa, let's go!

Zhao Liang: (drinking loudly) Dad!

Guo: Dad?

(Pointing to Wei Jian (the old man)) Old man, I knew you were a procrastinator!

Run to Zhao Liang, brother, and don't say anything. let me go

Wei Jian (old man): (running to hold the driver) Who is his father?

Guo: (Begging for mercy) Grandpa, I really don't have much money with me.

Wei Jian (old man): Comrade, you misunderstood.

Zhao Liang: Dad, earn others 10 yuan. Let's not be so gloomy.

Guo: My brother is kind-hearted.

Wei Jian (old man): I'm really not his father.

Guo: You are my father!

Wei Jian (the old man) looked helpless: alas (then sat down and became a thinker-refer to Rodin's sculpture The Thinker).

Guo: Dad, can you just scream for fun? I still don't understand this. Dude, Hongqi Chemical ... I won't ask.

I'd better drive around. I ...

Zhao Liang: Hey, Master, Master Geng, old man, you said you were wicked or not, but you screwed up all the business you got.

Wei Jian (old man): I hit you, you son of a bitch.

Zhao Liang: Why did you hit me?

Wei Jian (old man): Why should I hit you? If you cheat, I'll fix you.

Zhao Liang: I'm rich.

Wei Jian (old man): When you have money, I will invite you first!

Guo: Stop it! A word from a gentleman, a forgotten horse ~ oh, no, a word from a gentleman, a forgotten horse.

Oh, I just bought a pair of glasses and my eyes stopped a fight. This place is too familiar.

Wei Jian (old man): Have you been here before?

Guo: I've been here?

Wei Jian (old man): Look at him.

Guo: I found you.

Zhao Liang: What happened?

Guo: What's the matter? What is left, left, left, left, left?

Zhao Liang: Didn't you find it?

Guo: Yes, where's my money!

Zhao Liang: What money?

Guo: Money! I found that I was missing 100 yuan when I bought my eyes just now. You must have it.

Zhao Liang: Why do I have one? I didn't take your money.

Guo: Give it back, give it back, give it back ... Where are my glasses? Help me find it.

Zhao Liang: Here it is (helping Guo pick it up).

Guo: That's it. The glasses are broken again, but you can't run away. Give me my money back.

Wei Jian (old man): Er, I said Zhao Liang! Give me my money back! Why don't I take you to the village Committee

Guo: The village committee is too serious. Send it to the public security bureau!

Zhao Liang: Huh? !

Guo: Give me my money back.

Zhao Liang: Here you are. Here is one hundred yuan.

K: Here are two pieces.

Wei Jian (old man): Here is one hundred.

Guo: It's a thousand!

Wei Jian (old man): Look, here we go again.

Zhao Liang: I don't know. I think it is bad luck. I'll give you another hundred.

Guo: Give me another one ... or two dollars.

(Zhao Liang is scared to hide behind Wei Jian (the old man))

Guo: Give me my money back.

Zhao Liang: Uncle Geng, are you right? Uncle Geng, please help me.

Wei Jian (old man): You asked for it.

Guo: Give me my money back!

Wei Jian (old man): Comrade, wait a minute. I said, Zhao Liang, it's wicked to ask for directions. If you treat this as a business, you will make money. Can you be practical in your heart? Huh?

Zhao Liang: I'll never do it again, but this money ...

Wei Jian (old man): Comrade, do you believe me?

Guo: Oh, old man, of course I believe you. I don't believe him, but I can't tell which of the two is one hundred and which is two.

Wei Jian (old man): Both of them come once in a hundred years.

K: OK, come here. Today, I will spare you for the old man's sake, but this money.

Zhao Liang: More money? (Turn and run)

Guo: I want to return this money to you. Stop.