About the funniest jokes

1--Teacher: Xiaoxin, please use "difficult" to make a sentence. Xiaoxin: I was in a dilemma during the exam. Teacher: Is it because you don’t know the answer to the question, which puts you in a dilemma? Xiaoxin: No, it was because the students on the left and right had different answers, which put me in a dilemma.

2--A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Where are you from?" If you don’t tell me, I’ll electrocute you! A college student replied to his enemy and was electrocuted to death. He said: I am from TV University!

3--Sister: "Little sister, what are you doing?"

Sister: "I am writing a letter to my good friend Dawa."

Sister: "Can you write letters before you go to school?"

Sister: "It doesn't matter, because Dawa doesn't know how to read letters either."

4-- A hunter went hunting in the jungle with his wife and mother-in-law. They walked all day and camped deep in the jungle that night. Early the next morning, the wife woke up and found that her mother was missing. She quickly woke up the hunter and went out to look for her together. As a result, they saw a shocking scene in an open space not far from the camp: the mother-in-law and a ferocious lion were face to face in a stalemate. "What should we do?" the wife asked in panic. "No need!" the husband replied, "This lion has provoked people it shouldn't have provoked, so let it figure it out on its own!"

5--Reporter interviews pandas: Do you have any wishes in this life? ? Panda said: 2 ideals. First, I want to see a Chinese medicine doctor when I have time to treat my dark circles. Second, I want to take a color photo (in tears).

6--A swimming pool is to be built in a place, and the staff mobilizes people to donate money. The staff asked an old farmer what are you going to donate to this swimming pool? The old farmer said: "I will donate two buckets of water!"

7--Xiao Mao: My mother has a master's degree and my father has a doctorate. Xiaoxin: What’s so great! Xiaomao: Who are your parents? Xiaoxin: My father is a man and my mother is a woman.

8--A gecko got lost in front of a securities company. At this time, a large crocodile crawled over from a distance, ready to eat it in one bite. In desperation, the little gecko got on He hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted: "Mom!" The big crocodile was stunned for a moment, and then burst into tears: "Son, I've only been in the stock market for half a month and I'm so thin!

9--Things look a little wrong, I lost three wives in three months."

"What happened?"

"The first wife ate something poisonous. The straw mushroom died."

"What about the second wife?"

"She also died from poisonous straw mushroom."

"What about the other three? ?"

"She refused to eat poisonous straw mushrooms and died from a broken skull."

10--The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, what are you doing?" Do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many."

"That's it." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly. .

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there are still none."

"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily: "Yes. Yes, we have a hundred buns today!”

Little White Rabbit took out the money: “Great, I’ll buy two!”

11-- Four nuns

After four nuns die, they have to wait for God to decide whether they will go to heaven or hell. So the four people lined up one after another to be interrogated by God. First, God asked the first nun if she had done anything to disgrace God during her lifetime, so the first nun said that she had seen a boy's dick. God said: "It doesn't matter, just use this basin of holy water to wash her eyes. So she went to heaven after washing."

"The second nun said that she had touched a boy's penis, and God also told her to wash her hands with this basin of holy water, so she also went to heaven. When the third nun was about to say this, the fourth nun asked God asked her if he could interrogate her first. God asked her why she did this, and she said: "I don't want to wash my mouth with the water she used to wash her butt!" ”

12--There were two good friends who were always inseparable. They also had to eat and dress exactly the same to show friendship. One day, the two of them came to a restaurant for dinner, and the waiter brought two plates of soup. In front of them, there was a dead fly in one of the plates. One of them felt embarrassed, while the other shouted to the waiter: "Why are the two plates of soup different? We want them exactly the same. "

13--In the law class, the professor assigned everyone to read an article about civil rights. The next day, the professor asked Tom to name 10 civil rights. Tom did not answer. The professor said: "Okay, then Just name 5! "Tom still didn't say anything, and the professor had no choice but to say: "You only need to name one item and you will pass. Tom replied: "I have the right to remain silent!" ”

14--One day, 0, 8, and 6 and 9 met on the street. 0 looked at 8 with disdain and said: He’s just fat, why should he wear a belt! 6 didn’t even look at 9 Then he said: It’s cool, why are you doing handstands?

15--A: My two marriages failed.

B: What’s wrong?

A: The first wife left.

B: What about the second one?

A: She refused to leave.

16-- The Chinese teacher with a strong accent read an ancient poem by Lu You titled "Wo Chun" to the students and asked the students to dictate it.

The teacher read it aloud and one student dictated it as follows

"Lying Chun" "I'm Stupid"

The dark plum blossoms smell the flowers, I have no culture

The lying branches are full of sadness, my IQ is very low,

Yuan Smells like lying on the water, you want to ask who I am,

It is easy to reach the spring green.

The bank is like green, I am a donkey,

The shore is green. I am a donkey!