The marriage process in ancient times can be described no matter what dynasty it is from.

Ancient Wedding Process

Weddings, both at home and abroad, are considered to be a great gift in life rituals. But the understanding of it is very different between ancient and modern times.

The ancients believed that the continuation of the family and bloodline was an important responsibility that the younger generation could not shirk. That is to say, "There are three types of unfilial piety, and the greatest is not having offspring." in a very important position.

Weddings are closely related to the marriage system, which reflects people’s level of civilization from one aspect. The ancestors of the Chinese nation, with Han as the main body, like all other ethnic groups in the world, experienced incest and group marriage in the primitive period. After entering civilized society, they basically adopted the form of monogamous marriage.

The original wedding form probably began at the end of primitive society, and gradually evolved from the engagement ceremony "with Lipi (pair of deer skins) as a gift" that is said to have begun in the Fuxi era, to the "in-person wedding ceremony" in the Xia and Shang Dynasties. "Ying Yu Tang", and then to the complete "six rites" possessed by the Zhou Dynasty, have initially laid the foundation for our country's traditional wedding. With the development of the times, various wedding rituals have become more complicated and lively.

Roughly speaking, traditional weddings in my country are roughly divided into three stages: pre-wedding ceremony, main wedding ceremony, and post-wedding ceremony.

Pre-wedding ceremonies are some rituals held during the planning and preparation stages of marriage.

In the pre-Qin period, there were five types of rites including nacai, asking for names, naji, nazheng, and asking for time (plus the personal greeting at the wedding, the so-called "six rites"), and later generations gradually evolved There are ceremonial rituals such as urging makeup, delivering makeup, and making rooms.

In ancient feudal society, marriage depended on "the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmaker." Therefore, almost all pre-wedding rituals, including a series of steps from choosing a spouse to preparing for the formal wedding, were performed by the parents. The parents of both parties arranged the marriage, and the parties involved in the real marriage were excluded.

Because men’s social status is more noble than women’s, men are often the first to propose marriage. If the groom's parents want to arrange a marriage for their son, they first ask a matchmaker to propose marriage to the bride's family (called "proposing"). If the bride's family accepts the marriage, they will begin a series of rituals such as accepting the marriage and asking for names.

Nacai: It is the first step for a man to formally propose to a woman.

On the day when the two parties agreed to perform the "nacai" ceremony, the matchmaker sent by the man's family held a live goose as a gift for zhi (originally, live goose was used as a gift, that is, the goose was taken as a migratory bird). , Flying south in autumn and returning north in spring, coming and going, never breaking one's promise, as a symbol of unswerving commitment between men and women; and taking the wild geese flying in a row and stopping in a row to show that marriage must be in an orderly manner, with no oversteps. .

Later, lambs, white geese, acacias, glue paint, etc. were also used as gifts), came to the door of the woman’s house, and said to the woman’s host (the person who assisted in the ceremony): “Your family The master is very kind and has given so-and-so (son-in-law's name) a wife. So-and-so (father-in-law or brother), according to the rules left by the ancestors, asked me to request the master of your family to hold a ceremony for selecting the lady of your house."

After the hostess was notified, she went out to greet her personally. After the host and guest bowed to each other, the matchmaker once again expressed to the hostess that she wanted to come and perform the wedding etiquette. The host responded by accepting the live goose and showing humility. When the matchmaker saw that the marriage had been officially approved by the girl's parents, she left and went back to work.

Using makeup, sending makeup, and making a house: these three rites have not been recorded in pre-Qin documents, and were developed by future generations in the evolution of weddings.

The groom's family sends people with gifts to urge the bride's family to buy makeup for the bride as soon as possible. In the Song Dynasty, three days before the wedding, the groom's family would send the groom's family a flower bun, a gold hijab, a flower fan, and other items to the bride's family. The bride's family would respond with gold and silver, a plain head with Luohua flowers, a green robe, boots, and other gifts.

Sending dowry is a ritual for the bride’s family to send someone to deliver the dowry to the groom’s family a few days before the wedding. The dowry is often packed in boxes and cages. In order to show off the dowry, some families spread the dowry one by one on a square table and line it up in a column to deliver it to the groom's family. The dowry usually includes chests, bedding, jewelry, clothes, silks and satins, the four treasures of the study, gold and silver utensils, etc. There are also fields, houses, shops, and pawnshops as dowries. In the Zhejiang area, there is a dowry called "offspring bucket" (a big bucket with a big lid, used by the bride when giving birth). The bucket is filled with red eggs and happy fruits, which is called "giving away children", which means blessing. In the Shaoxing area, there are people who give "daughter wine" as a dowry. That is, after the daughter is one month old or a few years old, several jars of wine are made and buried in the ground. On the day of the daughter's marriage, they are taken out as a dowry gift and sent to the groom's family.

Building a new house is a ritual in which the girl's family sends people to the groom's house to lay the new house. Sometimes it is done at the same time as sending makeup.

In the Song Dynasty, the day before the wedding, the girl's family sent people to the new house to lay out curtains, bedding and other utensils in the room, and prepared gifts to warm the house. Then a trusted woman or a married woman will be used to guard the room, and no outsiders will be allowed to enter, in order to wait for the new couple. The person who sells the house must be a "good-luck woman" with good fortune and longevity and a wealthy family in order to gain good fortune. This custom is still popular in some places in modern times.

Personal Wedding: It is a ceremony in which the groom goes to the bride’s house to marry the bride in person. It is also the most elaborate and solemn ceremony in ancient and modern weddings.

According to "Etiquette. Shi Wedding", on the evening of the wedding day, the bride put on a wedding dress - a pure dress (silk dress) with light red lace, and wore a "ci" ( Braided wig), standing in the room to the south, with the nanny standing to her right, and the bride's female attendants wearing white and black coats standing behind. When the groom, wearing a formal dress, leads the procession of ink carriages (the groom's carriage), floats (the bride's carriage, equipped with curtains), auxiliary carriages, and servants to the door of the bride's house, the hostess of the house comes out to greet her in person. After bowing to each other, both parties came to the hall. After the groom performed a ceremony to his father-in-law (the heaviest form of kneeling ceremony in ancient times, which required kowtowing to the ground for a long time), the bride walked from the room to her father on the east steps. Her father He warned her: "In the future, you must always be careful, respectful and cautious, and do not go against the wishes of your parents-in-law." At the same time, he gave her a piece of clothing as a warning. Then, the bride came to her mother on the west steps. Her mother tied a belt around her waist and put on a scarf, and then warned her: "Be diligent and respectful, and complete the housework that your father-in-law and mother-in-law ask you to do." Later, the bride followed the groom down the hall to the gate. The bride put on Yuchen's coat and boarded the float, and took over the driving belt from the groom. So, the groom drove the float forward. After the wheel rotated for three weeks, the groom handed the float to the driver, and he took the float car to go ahead because he had to go to his home to greet the bride.

Personal greetings were passed down to later generations, and the bride was mostly welcomed in sedan chairs, wedding cars, colorful boats, etc. The bride's wedding dress was mostly a phoenix robe and crown embroidered with dragon and phoenix patterns and colorful decorations, with silk tassels hanging down to cover her face. There are also those who use a red scarf and a paper fan to cover their faces. When the groom arrives at the bride's house, the bride often cries and refuses to get on the sedan. The bride's relatives and friends have to test their talents in public - asking the groom to compose a poem. After the groom recites the "make-up poem" on the spot, the bride begins to get up. Sedan. Before boarding the sedan, the girl's family first asks a woman to hold a lamp or mirror to shine into the sedan, which is called "shining the sedan", believing that this can suppress evil spirits. In modern times, after the sedan chair is lifted, the girl's family pours a basin of water at the door. The original intention is that water can cleanse away dirt, and of course it can suppress evil and cure ghosts. Later it evolved into "water poured out by a married daughter" - praying for blessings After your daughter gets married, she should have a harmonious relationship with her husband's family and don't be reprimanded and withdrawn.

On the way back to the groom’s home, the sedan chair is crowded with people in front and behind, so grand: the one in front is the one opening the way, followed by the deacon, the person holding the lamp, the person playing drums and playing music, and then the bride. of sedan chair. There was playing and playing along the road, presenting a festive scene. When the sedan chair arrives at the groom's home, neighbors and villagers also ask for auspicious money, which is called "blocking the door." The sender throws copper coins into the air, and the children scramble to grab them. It is called "throwing stars all over the sky." Flower buckets are filled with grains, beans, money, fruits and other objects and are scattered at the door. It is said to be used to ward off evil spirits who block the bride from entering. This is called "scattering beans". The bride is about to get off the sedan chair, but her feet cannot walk on the ground. She can only walk on strips of green cloth, felt mats or sacks. Because the ancients believed that the earth and sky are sacred realms that must not be violated, and once the bride's feet come into contact with the earth, it will inevitably offend the earth gods. Therefore, a felt or mat must be spread to avoid it. Bai Juyi's poem "Marrying a Wife's Family in the Deep Spring" of the Tang Dynasty records this custom: "The green clothes are turned into a felt mattress, and a splendid line is slanted." In the Song Dynasty, the felt was changed into a mat, which was called "Chuanxi" or "Chuanbao", that is, with a mat or The sack is passed around from side to side until the bridal chamber. Xi is homophonic to "Xi" (i.e., child, offspring), and bag is homophonic to "generation", both of which mean to carry on the family line. Later, it was also customary for the stronger relatives of the bride's family to carry the bride out of the sedan chair and onto the bed. Today, it has become the brother-in-law of the mother's family to carry the bride into and out of the sedan chair.

When the bride comes to the door of the new house, she has to step over the saddle to show peace. Some also step over fire to suppress evil spirits.

Worship: It is a ritual for the bride to pay homage to the gods and earth, the ancestors of the groom’s family, parents-in-law, relatives and husband-in-law after passing through the door.

In the pre-Qin Dynasty, the bride met her parents-in-law in the early morning of the second day of her wedding. After the bride takes a bath, she is led by her admirers to meet her parents-in-law.

The bride held a bamboo plate filled with dates and chestnuts in both hands, walked to the table where her father-in-law was sitting, and bowed with her face to the east. Then she stepped forward, knelt down, placed the bamboo plate on the table, and her father-in-law touched it with his hand. , stood up and bowed back, the bride bowed again, then went down to the hall, took the bamboo plate with dried meat from the hand of the female attendant, walked to the mother-in-law's table, and performed the same ceremony as before.

Then, the liker performs a ritual of giving sweet wine to the bride on behalf of her parents-in-law. Then, the bride performs a "food gift" to her parents-in-law with the food prepared according to the regulations. She will take care of the lives of her parents-in-law from now on. On the third day, the father-in-law and mother-in-law returned the gift to the daughter-in-law with a "gift of one offering".

After the father-in-law, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law toasted each other, the father-in-law and mother-in-law went down the hall from the west stairs, and the new daughter-in-law went down the hall from the east stairs - which is the direction of the master. This shows that the new daughter-in-law has succeeded her mother-in-law. Qualifications of housewife. On an auspicious day in the third month after meeting her parents-in-law, the new daughter-in-law will go to her husband's ancestral temple to perform a "temple meeting ceremony" - that is, to pay a visit to her husband's ancestors to comfort their ancestors' spirits in heaven. After this series of ceremonies, the new daughter-in-law officially becomes a member of her husband's family.

From the Han and Wei dynasties to the Tang Dynasty, in the northern area, worship services were held in "Qinglu". The so-called "Qinglu" refers to the "auspicious place" in the southwest corner of the house. A tent is set up in the open air. The bride steps into the Qinglu from a specially prepared felt mat, and the parents-in-law follow in the bride's footsteps to suppress the daughter-in-law's. Spirit. After the bride enters the house, she first pays homage to the pigsty and stove, then the couple pays homage to each other, and then pays homage to her parents-in-law and relatives the next day.

Later, the ceremony of worshiping in the church was gradually changed to be held on the wedding night. After the groom welcomes the bride into the door, he holds one end of a concentric knot made of red and green satin and stands in front of the hall where the red dragon and phoenix wedding candles are burned. He asks the groom's wife, who is blessed with good fortune and longevity, to use a weighing pole or a machine comb to remove the bride's veil. .

The bride and groom first worship heaven and earth, and then visit their parents-in-law and elders and relatives in turn. At this time, the two parties who are worshiping and being worshiped often give gifts to each other. Finally, the couple bows to each other, and after the ceremony, the newlyweds are sent into the new house by relatives and friends

Wine banquet and wine: Throughout the ages, the wine banquet has been an essential ritual for almost every newlywed couple, and it has been passed down to this day. "Eating wedding wine" has become the abbreviation of folk wedding ceremony.

Of course, the wine feasts can be elaborate or simple, and vary in scale, but the most important significance is that the marriage of the bride and groom has been recognized by relatives and friends. Therefore, the wine feast is also the most socially significant part of the wedding. In the pre-Qin Dynasty, the bride and groom did not have a banquet with everyone, but had a special table in the new house. The bride and groom sat opposite each other under the command of the master of ceremonies. After eating some food and wine according to certain procedures, they left the table. , it didn’t take long. At a wine feast, the most meaningful ritual is "joining wine".

"Joining wine" is a ceremony in which the bride and groom each hold their own and drink wine opposite each other, connected by a line. The wine glass is divided into two, which symbolizes that the couple is originally two bodies; the handle is connected with a thread, which symbolizes that the two are connected through marriage; and the two are joined together to form one, which symbolizes that the couple has two bodies but one heart. At the wine feast, the newlyweds eat dishes prepared by Yiding and drink from the same cup, which symbolizes mutual respect, love and intimacy between the husband and wife. Because of the far-reaching significance of this ceremony, this program was indispensable in subsequent weddings. Of course, with the changes of the times, the name has changed ("drinking a cup of wine"), the utensils have also changed, and the form of drinking has also changed.

After the Qin and Han Dynasties, rituals such as "tent spreading" and hair tying were added before and after the wedding banquet. After the groom welcomes the bride into the bridal chamber, the two sit together in the wedding bed tent, with the woman on the left and the man on the right facing each other. Then the female guests or the master of ceremonies who come to the wedding sing and throw money and fruits into the tent, which is the so-called "tent throwing". ". Then, some of the hair taken from the groom's head is given to the bride, and she is asked to comb it with her own hair, which is called a "knot".

After that, the groom got down from the bed, went to the outer room to receive congratulations from relatives and friends, and entertained everyone to the banquet, while the bride continued to sit in the tent until the banquet was over and the groom returned to the room again.

Having a house: In modern times, this is a ritual for newlyweds to accept congratulations from relatives and friends and have fun in the new house on the wedding night. There is a folk saying that "there is no big or small wedding in the three days of marriage", and "there is no joy in the wedding, the more noisy "The happier you are".

In the pre-Qin era, the end of the wedding banquet for the bride and groom marked the basic end of the wedding night ceremony, and then the bride and groom went to bed.

About the Han Dynasty, the guests and friends attending the wedding were unwilling to let it go, so they came up with the practice of "listening to the house": on the wedding night, people who like to watch the excitement quietly came to the window of the new house and eavesdropped on the bride and groom. Use your words and actions as a source of laughter.

As of the Jin Dynasty, there has been a custom of teasing the bride: posing various strange questions to the bride in front of the public, and even playing various pranks on the bride.

The later popular "making house noise" may be the evolution of this custom. There are different ways and methods of "making a fuss" in various places, and the degree of making a fuss can also be divided into elegant and vulgar. Sometimes it goes too far, which often brings embarrassment and unhappiness to both the host and the guest, but because it adds a warm atmosphere to the wedding , so this program is often indispensable in subsequent weddings.

2005 Modern Wedding Process

Marriage is the most important event in everyone’s life. Therefore, throughout the ages, people have regarded weddings as very sacred, and the form of the wedding has also depended on the conditions of each family. Different from traditional to simple. So, how to do a wedding? I would like to share my humble opinion with the newlyweds after having photographed and planned their weddings for more than ten years. This is for reference only.

1. Find a value-for-money wedding company

In the eyes of ordinary people, holding a wedding is a simple matter. But everyone who has been there knows that this is not the case. It is indeed not easy to hold a wedding with class, content, characteristics, taste, thoughtfulness and smoothness. Because the "project" of a wedding has its own extraordinary particularity. It is similar to a performance, but not a performance; it cannot be like a TV show, which cannot be rehearsed or re-shot. It must be passed in one pass, and only success is allowed, not failure. Therefore, more and more couples are now choosing professional wedding agencies to help them organize their weddings, which is undoubtedly a wise move. But you must be careful when choosing a wedding company, and choose companies with more experience, strength and good reputation. It is best to choose a company that has successfully organized weddings for people around you, so that you know each other better and feel more secure. When selecting companies from advertisements, you must not just look for cheap. The well-known old saying "you get what you pay for" is not unreasonable. Of course, there are also examples of paying high prices but not getting corresponding services. Therefore, newlyweds may wish to do more shopping and "compare services," but they should be sure to "close the network immediately" when it comes to some key services, such as the most important part of the wedding ceremony - the videographer.

2. Videographers are the soul of all-day weddings

At present, there are not many excellent first-class wedding videographers in Nanjing, and the weddings in Nanjing are held at relatively fixed times, so it is impossible for videographers to In order to rush to the wedding, especially in those busy days that are recognized as auspicious, there is an increasing shortage of excellent wedding videographers, and the supply exceeds the demand. If couples miss out on an excellent photographer who is suitable for them due to price reasons or too careful selection, it will cause great regrets for their wedding. Such regrets happened from time to time in the past. Secondly, I would also like to tell newcomers that after deciding on a cameraman, they must not be afraid of trouble, contact the cameraman as much as possible, communicate more (preferably heart-to-heart), and let the cameraman know more about themselves, so that he can At work, we take precise pictures based on the personalities and characteristics of different newcomers. Not many people in Nanjing’s wedding market can do this. Only Luomanting Wedding Company requires the camera crew to communicate with the couple. The cameramen all have the same experience, that is, to give themselves the best Photographing a friend's wedding is the most satisfying wedding for everyone (especially the photographer himself). The reason for this is that there is an emotional connection between the photographer and the newcomer. In addition to the necessary procedures in the wedding, the characteristics of the couple will be expressed as much as possible. It will not be rigid, artificial or stylized, making people feel smooth, natural, friendly and touching.

3. Marriage does not require a "luxury car"

The current method used by most newlyweds to get married is a luxury motorcade, which seems to have become a stereotype in the past ten years. There is nothing wrong with this approach, but I think that as times change, whether this form of science is scientific or not is not unquestionable. Caravans to pick up brides became popular in the early 1990s. There were basically no private cars at that time, and some people would never be able to ride in a car more than once in their lifetime. So, on the wedding day, using a car as a sedan, especially a luxury car as an eight-carriage sedan, will look very beautiful and full of beauty. In order to build a high-end wedding convoy, no matter how much favors you get and how much money you spend, it is all "worth it" to the newlyweds.

Well, nowadays many families have their own "sedans", and cars come and go, just like normal. At this time, the newcomers got on "Cadi" and "Louse" again, and the pride in their hearts was greatly reduced. What's more, the car fleet headed by "Cardy" and "Louse" costs at least 60,000 to 7000 yuan, or even more than 10,000 yuan during the peak wedding season. Regardless of the high cost, it is the couple's biggest wish that all aspects of the wedding day be smooth and safe. A smooth and peaceful wedding day will be a sign of happiness and health for two people throughout their lives. Therefore, minimizing the risks in all aspects of the wedding day should be the top priority for couples. According to past media statistics, the probability of vehicle problems on the wedding day is much higher than in other aspects. Based on the above reasons, I think it may be a wise move for newlyweds to avoid using the motorcade to pick up their brides unless necessary. There are many ways to replace the convoy, with different benevolence and wisdom. For example, the classic sedan chair is traditional and novel, festive and lively; the self-driving car is casual and friendly, and the affection is endless; the tricycle is simple and easy-going, elegant and comfortable. Or simply skip the pick-up process and have the bride and groom wait for guests at the hotel together to hold the wedding ceremony. Saving the cost of the fleet can make the wedding venue more festive and elegant, improve the taste of the wedding banquet, or save it for a future honeymoon trip. Why not?

Location: Bride’s home

Content:

1. The bride washes herself, has breakfast, and the bridesmaid and makeup artist prepare the bride and bridesmaid’s makeup.

2. The groom, photographer, videographer, and best man round up to get the bride’s bouquet, head bouquet, VIP bouquet, and tie the float. An early lunch at the bride’s house.

3. The groom enters the door: The groom enters the bride's house, the bride's family "blocks the door", the groom hands out red envelopes, and the best man gives VIP flowers to the bride's parents. The groom proposes to the bride and wears a diamond ring, the newlyweds serve tea to their parents, the parents give red envelopes in return, and the newlyweds feed each other sweets.

4. The groom picks up the bride and goes out: the bride’s mother takes the new shoes that the bride wants to change downstairs, and the groom puts on the new shoes for the bride and goes to the groom’s house.

Required items:

Bouquet, head bouquet, wedding car, VIP flowers, red envelopes, tea, desserts, firecrackers, bride's wedding dress

Location: Groom Home

Content:

1. Welcoming the bride, setting off firecrackers when the wedding car arrives

2. The bride comes in to pay homage to her parents-in-law, the groom’s parents give red envelopes in return, and the newlyweds feed each other desserts .

Required items:

Firecrackers, tea, red envelopes, desserts

Outdoor shooting: If the weather changes or time is too late, this item can be omitted or advanced We went to the hotel to shoot interior scenes instead.

Location: Hotel

Content:

1. The newlyweds arrive at the hotel in advance. If they have extra time, they can rest in the wedding room, while the bride changes her makeup and the groom arranges his dress. Then welcome guests under the arch.

2. The master of ceremonies announces the start of the wedding.

3. Witness the marriage.

4. Exchange wedding rings, cut the cake, pour champagne, and drink glasses of wine.

5. Throw the bouquet.

6. The wedding banquet officially begins and the bride changes her clothes.

7. Candlelight ceremony, parents’ thanks, and newlyweds’ thanks.

8. Toast.

9. Making trouble in the bridal chamber.

(The ceremony process is mainly based on the communication of the emcee, this is for reference only)

Required items:

Sign-in book and pen, posters, wedding decorations, etc. Contents, rings, small gifts, etc.

Wedding candies, wine, cigarettes, matches, salutes and other small items are delivered to the hotel by helping friends in the afternoon and placed on the tabletop of each table. In addition, you must also bring the casual clothes that the couple will change into the next day, the bride’s makeup remover and other daily necessities.