"If you don't kneel to your biological parents, you won't kneel to your parents-in-law." Is this idea correct?

The word "customs" has a lot of emphasis, especially in ancient times. "Observe customs and know gains and losses" is an ancestral precept that kings must abide by.

But now, as the wind of modern civilization blows, many customs are called "dross". Those that should be eliminated should be eliminated, and those that should be discarded should be discarded. Especially in the eyes of young people, some customs are just a toss-up. people.

Remember the article I wrote before? When two parties get married, the man's customs require that the woman's parents not come to the wedding. The woman is an only child and this is a happy event in her life, and she firmly disagrees with her parents not attending.

In the end, both parties were unwilling to take a step back, and the beautiful wedding was ruined. So far, the newlyweds have not reconciled as before, and they decided to break up and prepare to find another lover.

It has to be said that people who are involved in this kind of thing are very confused. It is just a custom. What's the problem if you don't follow it? If a custom is unpleasant and uncomfortable, there will be problems if you take a detour. Why not.

Why do we have to waste time and effort like a foolish old man moving mountains, causing trouble and ruining the family? Happiness is not happiness. Is this the benefit of following customs?

01 Getting married in December, the weather is freezing, I don’t want to choose this time

Netizen Zhang Xiao has been depressed since she got married, because it is a once-in-a-lifetime event. She really didn't want to iron her clothes, which made her feel very unhappy.

She wondered: "We, the newlyweds, are the protagonists in this matter of marriage. Why should we listen to his parents in everything? Can't we just organize our own wedding? Do they need to have the final say alone?" ."

The reason Zhang Xiao was angry was because the entire wedding, from location to time to format, was not the type she liked.

The wedding she originally hoped for would be to hold an open-air wedding party on the rooftop of a hotel in April or May when spring flowers are blooming. She would reduce excessive sensationalism and games and go straight to the theme so that her relatives and friends can have fun. .

But who would have known that when the two families discussed the wedding arrangements, she and her boyfriend were excluded. The boyfriend’s parents said they had an expert do some calculations and found that December would be a good day, so they hurriedly decided on the wedding. .

Zhang Xiao complained: "It was so cold in December. It was freezing cold and there was no sunshine that day. I was shivering in my wedding dress and my teeth were chattering. In the end, I had to put on a red down jacket. It was ugly. Dead."

She doesn't understand what is a good day and what is a bad day. She is surprised that a day without sunshine is called a good day? Or is there no suitable time to get married in the next year, so we have to choose that day?

Her husband understood Zhang Xiao’s frustration at the wedding and repeatedly comforted her, finally calming her dissatisfaction and cooperating with the next process.

She said: "My husband is also helpless and can't get in the way. His parents took care of the wedding and never asked us for our opinion. To put it bluntly, they don't respect us at all." , just to show it to the neighbors and folks, so as to give them a pat on the back.”

Of course, when the wedding time is changed, the scene must also be changed, not to mention it is in the open air, and even the words of the emcee must be changed. It was copied from the Internet and there is nothing new at all.

Zhang Xiao had to keep a fake smile in the center of the stage, feeling very sad.

02 The wedding process was not discussed, and I made it clear that I would “not kneel down” and “not make a fuss about the marriage”, but I kept my word

“Because the hotel is close to my husband’s parents’ home, so After the ceremony and luncheon at the hotel, I went to their house to have some fun in the afternoon. It was at this time that I gave up." Zhang Xiao said.

Zhang Xiao is the youngest girl in her family. She has an older brother and is also the youngest sister among her mother's relatives. It can be said that she has been pampered by the whole family and has never suffered any grievances since she was a child.

In addition, her family conditions are relatively good, and her parents are both primary school teachers, so the family tradition is very open-minded.

Before the marriage, both parents also discussed the basic process. Zhang Xiao's mother made two clear requirements. One was not to have a marriage, and the other was not to let the child kneel down.

They believe that young people should behave like young people and not kneel down at every turn. Although parents have a hard time raising their children, they take responsibility voluntarily. There is no such thing as "owing or not owing", so Never let your children kneel down and say words of gratitude, it’s not necessary.

At that time, the man’s parents also agreed. Who knew that it would not be like this on the wedding day.

As soon as Zhang Xiao arrived at her parents-in-law's house, many relatives gathered around and ordered her to kneel down to serve tea, and even the tea cups were prepared.

She looked at her husband in astonishment. He smiled reluctantly, but he also meant to ask her to kneel down and serve tea. Seeing the stalemate between the two parties, the husband's aunt or aunt began to push Zhang Xiao and pressed her head, meaning to kneel down quickly and don't delay.

Zhang Xiao looked around and saw that there was no family member of his own family. His parents-in-law were sitting in front, surrounded by unfamiliar faces. At first glance, they were the seven aunts and eight aunts of her husband's family.

Immediately, she moved her body, shook off the hand that pushed her, and said loudly: "I have never knelt down to my biological parents, let alone my parents-in-law. I can avoid this step if I can, but I will do it if I can't. Let's break up."

Her voice was not loud, but it was clear enough that her husband came over to persuade her: "Don't make trouble on this special day, isn't it just to serve tea?"

Everyone was silent. My parents-in-law’s face didn’t look good either.

"Before getting married, I promised not to get married or to kneel down, so you agreed. If you break your promise before you, you will kneel down and bow down behind. Whoever is looking for trouble will know in his heart that I will no longer serve you." After saying that, Zhang Xiao took off her high heels and took a taxi back to her parents' house barefoot, without her husband chasing her out.

03 We got married, we also had a knot in our hearts, and now we are living apart

“We both got the certificate early, and the wedding was unpleasant, but we are still husband and wife. Everyone has knots in their hearts, Let’s live separately for a few days.”

From the wedding in December to January, Zhang Xiao has not reconciled with her husband, nor has she spoken to her parents-in-law on the phone.

Her parents blamed her for acting impulsively, but they criticized the behavior of the man's family.

After all, it is true that the other party was the one who broke his word, made the final decision without permission, and blindly bullied Zhang Xiao's family, who were honest and easy to talk to.

Zhang Xiao said that kneeling down to pray is not completely unacceptable, but what she hates is the coercion of unknown relatives and friends, as well as the sudden arrangement of the process.

Because she did not get the respect she deserved from beginning to end in this wedding, she believed that she was not only innocent but also a typical victim when the wedding turned out like this.

Speaking of which, when it comes to weddings, it is best to respect the wishes of the couple from the very beginning. After all, this is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and the older generation should not treat it as a mere embarrassment. It's an opportunity.