Early childhood education and training-Let go

Philosopher Fromm believes that there is a touchstone to test whether a mother's love for her children is of high quality, that is, whether a mother is willing to completely let go of her children and whether she is willing to promote their independence.

I have been insisting on this since 16 was pregnant with Xiao Zhang. Although I didn't read these theoretical knowledge at that time, the idea of cultivating children from the beginning was to make them independent and willing to try, and I began to cultivate myself to do it slowly.

Xiao Zhang's training should start from his 4.5 months. I have been insisting on adding complementary food after 6 months and eating milk powder as late as possible. In my opinion, no matter what kind of milk powder is better for children than breast milk. During this period, I experienced various postpartum discomfort, staying up late, nipple rupture, severe mastitis and high fever of 39.2 degrees. The doctor advised me to rest. Under the condition of ensuring the quality of milk, I still insist on breastfeeding. But for some reason, I didn't have much breast milk that day and I couldn't starve him to death. I picked up the spoon and fed him rice soup for the first time. He is too young to hold the spoon tightly. No matter how he grabs it, he can catch it accurately at the moment when I feed the spoon into his mouth. My mother said he wouldn't grab a spoon if he didn't give him toys. Her grandson (my nephew) is like this. I followed her advice, but it was not the case. He still insisted on throwing away his toys and spoons, only grabbed the spoon that was fed to his mouth, and it was delicious. Suddenly I realized that this was his expression of wanting to eat by himself. My mother was also surprised that such a small child had to feed herself. With this awareness, I relaxed in the second half of breastfeeding and stopped fighting with him. If he catches the spoon, I will feed it with him. If he doesn't catch it (I'm afraid he will spill it when he holds the spoon, and then the spoon will be used super fast), I will try to feed it around his hand.

Later, the feeding and training were natural. Since he likes to grab spoons, I will give him one and hold one in my hand. A bowl of rice, he eats a little by himself, or doesn't eat at all, just for fun, I'll feed some more later. He is also happy, can play, I also worry, can eat without crying or making trouble. From 20 months, he can finish a bowl of his favorite food by himself. Now, 23 months later, he eats all by himself. He has a bad appetite and eats little, so I'll make up a few mouthfuls. If he insists on not eating. I'll stop.

The second time I said he walked. 1 year-old, it happened that we were going back to our hometown for National Day. We have made a travel plan to Bali in advance, and we intend to take him there. The tickets are all bought. On the same day, grandpa set up a banquet in the hotel to celebrate his birthday. For some unknown reason, he got sick after coming home, with fever, cough and runny nose. We can only decide to leave him at my mother's house and let grandma take care of him. It will be nearly a month (there are still some things to deal with, and it is also the only time when he is not with me). When I go home to pick him up again, he has already started to learn to walk, and he will fall down after two or three steps. I know the more this time, the less I can help him walk all the time. He needs to feel a sense of balance and use the power of his steps. So choose a place as safe as possible and let him go, for example, put a mat in the whole living room at home and let him walk barefoot. Here we should focus on the benefits of walking barefoot, which can promote the development of baby's sense of touch, develop good walking posture, and at the same time enhance his physique, which is beneficial to baby's foot health. When he is steady, I will take him to a flat place in the community or park. We happen to have long pants and long sleeves in autumn and winter. It is suggested that parents who learn to walk must put pants on their babies, or see their children using knee pads and wrist pads. Ensure the safety of children.

Now our children have walked well and the food is not bad. I think the most important thing is to let him do it. I believe he can do it well. I was in a hurry when I was eating and walking. For example, a friend's daughter ate before him, and I began to worry. I also complained a little, saying, look, my sister eats so well, how can you get a floor (one year older than him)? Later, I found out that I just gave myself negative emotions. The child's physical strength has not been achieved in all aspects, so I can only do it step by step.

After raising children for nearly two years, I found the importance of letting go and independence more and more. Only by letting go can I learn the necessary skills of life faster and earlier. Let go, children will be more confident in their ability to solve problems and will be more confident. At the same time, let children learn many skills as soon as possible, and also reduce a lot of physical labor for parents, so that they have better patience to cultivate their children's intelligence and emotional intelligence. It is good for future life and study.