Looking for the latest funny jokes! ! Bonus points for good ones!

The eldest and second child were on a plane, and the second child got airsick and kept vomiting. One bag was full of vomit, so the boss had to go get it. When he came back, he found that everyone on the plane was vomiting. The eldest son asked the reason, and the second eldest son said: "I saw that this bag was also full of vomiting, so I had to drink half of the bag, and they all vomited."

The eldest son and the second eldest son went to the theater. While watching the play, I saw the two of them arguing about the development of the plot and making a bet about it. The boss pointed to the row of spittoons in front and said, "The loser has to take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost, so he frowned and took a sip. The two then bet on the following plot, and this time, the second child lost. The second child picked up a spittoon and drank fifteen big gulps. The boss was shocked and looked down in admiration. He said to the second brother, "You are so amazing. You can drink fifteen gulps in a row!" The second boss shook his head. "It's not that I want to drink. The phlegm in the spittoon is too thick. I really don't want it." Keep biting!"

Medical students gathered around the corpse covered with white cloth for their first live anatomy class. The professor began to lecture, "As a doctor, you must have two important qualities. The first is not to be afraid of nausea." After speaking, the professor lifted up the white cloth, inserted his finger into the corpse's anus, then pulled it out and put it in his mouth to suck. “Learn to do it,” he told his classmates. The students all felt disgusted and hesitated for a long time but finally had to do it one by one. When the last person finished, the professor said, "The second quality is observation. I insert the middle finger but suck the finger. Students, please pay attention to observation!"

I heard that the first time is very painful, yes What kind of pain?

Imagine stuffing a carrot up your nostril.

What about having a baby? I heard it hurts more?

Imagine stuffing a watermelon into your nostril and pulling it out.

…………

Why do you feel so comfortable when having sex? ?

It’s like picking your nose, of course it’s comfortable.

Then why do women feel more comfortable during sex?

Because when you pick your nose, it’s your nostrils that feel comfortable, not your fingers!

Then why do they seem to be in pain when they are raped?

If you were walking on the road one day and someone suddenly came over and picked your nostrils, would you feel comfortable?

Then why can’t you have sex when you have your period?

If you have a nosebleed, will you continue to pick your nose?

Why don’t many men like to wear condoms?

Do you like wearing gloves to pick your nose?

If you don’t know how to post, be careful if someone suddenly comes to pick your nose.

An American was eating in a Chinese restaurant. When the waiter brought a plate of lobster, the American asked: "How do you deal with the leftover shrimp shells?"

"Of course, throw them away," the waiter said.

“NO! NO! NO!” Americans shook their heads and said, “In the United States, leftover shrimp shells are sent to factories, made into cans, and then sold to you in China.”

p>

After a while, the waiter brought another plate of fruit. The American pointed at one of the lemons and asked, "How do you deal with the leftover lemon peel?" "Of course, throw it away," the waiter said.

“NO! NO! NO!”

The Americans shook their heads and said, “In our United States, leftover lemon peels are sent to factories to be made into fruits, and then they are Sold to you in China."

When checking out, the Americans chewed gum and asked the waiter with a smile: "What do you do with the leftover gum?" "Spit it out, of course." The waiter said.

“NO! NO! NO!”

The Americans shook their heads and said proudly, “In our United States, chewed gum is sent to factories to make sets. Then sell them to China."

The waiter asked impatiently: "Do you know how to dispose of used condoms in China?"

"Of course they are thrown away. It’s gone,” the American said.

The waiter shook his head and said: "NO! NO! NO! In China, used condoms are sent to factories, made into chewing gum, and then sold to you in the United States."

< p>The current situation of virgins: some accidentally harmed themselves, some were destroyed by criminals, some were deceived by emotional liars, some were bankrupted through legal procedures, and some were left behind after seeing through the world of mortals.

You see a pile of poop in front of you. When you smell it, it seems to be poop. When you pick it, it feels like poop. When you taste it, it is definitely poop. You say happily: Fortunately, you didn’t step on it!

When the last bullet is left, the German soldiers will smash all the weapons in their hands, put on straight military uniforms, surrender, and be treated like knights.

When the last bullet was left, the American soldier knelt down and surrendered in the standard army textbook surrender posture, but still muttered: "Grandpa's..." and was beaten on the spot by a group of people. . After returning home, he was hailed as a hero, and the media unanimously said: "He died when his rifle jammed..."

When the last bullet was left, the British soldier pulled out a beautiful He took out the tea set, ate his afternoon tea, and waited leisurely for surrender.

When the last bullet was left, the Japanese soldiers knew that there was no hope of breaking out. In order to satisfy their sexual desire before death, they would rape all the female species around them. Then, they tied explosives around their bodies and wanted to die together, but they were beaten into a dead hornet's nest, and another Japanese was added to the Jingguo shit society.

When the last bullet was left, the Italian soldier hid in a manure pit. When he was discovered, he would swallow three mouthfuls of feces and was released on the spot as a lunatic.

When the last bullet was left, the Chinese soldier calmly fired a shot at the head of the enemy at the front, and then went up to fight with the bayonet. After killing N of them, when the enemy was frightened, he fired Seize the enemy's weapons and break out of the siege. Return to the country whole body.

1. An American, a Japanese and a Chinese were exploring in the jungle and were all captured by a cannibal tribe

But the tribal chief said: "I am in a good mood today and I don't want to eat you. You all have to endure a hundred paddles, but before you endure the paddle, you can have one wish come true. "The American who endured the paddle first said: "Before I endure the paddle, give me 10 cushions on my butt. "The mattresses fell like raindrops. At first, 70 mattresses were just enough. Then the cushions were smashed and then the boards were bloody... After the beating, the Americans left with their butts touched. After seeing this, the Japanese also asked for 10 mattresses. 1 , 2, 3...100 After beating the Japanese, they stood up

patting their butts and bragging about their ability to imitate and recreate,

and thought While sitting and watching the good show of the Chinese, the Chinese slowly lay down and said leisurely: "Come and put the Japanese on the mat for me, face up"...

3. There was a plane sitting on it. There were an American, a German, a Japanese and a Chinese. The plane suddenly ran out of fuel mid-flight. The captain announced that one person had to jump off the plane to reduce the weight. So the Americans showed their personal heroism and walked to the hatch of the plane. Shout loudly: Long live America and the nations! ! Then he jumped! The plane continued to fly... At this time, the captain announced again: The weight was still too heavy, so he had to jump off alone! So the Germans stood up, walked to the plane hatch, and shouted: Long live the German Empire! He also jumped down! The plane continued to fly... At this time, the captain announced: No, it's still too heavy, and one more person must jump out! The Chinese glanced at the Japanese, stood up and walked to the plane hatch. The Japanese quickly came over and held the Chinese's hand tightly: Good brother, I will never forget you! The Chinese people shouted: Long live the Republic of China! ! Then he kicked the Japanese down! ! ......

A driver often went out and was fined by the traffic police. However, he had no choice but to feel downcast and unhappy when he returned home. His wife asked him why he was unhappy, and the husband asked him why he was unhappy. Tell her why. After hearing this, my wife said, ‘It’s okay, don’t we have a son? From now on, you will change your name and call the traffic police. If you are fined, you will scold the traffic police when you get home. If you can't get angry, you will hit the traffic police. If it doesn't work, you will fuck the traffic police as hard as you can.

A French explorer lost his way in the desert. When he was on the verge of death, he suddenly saw a fairy coming slowly. The explorer hurriedly shouted, "Fairy, please save me! I have already escaped." I haven’t had any water for three days!” The fairy thought for a moment, frowned, then stepped aside. Soon a glass of cranberry juice was brought to the explorer. After the explorer finished drinking it, he said, "I want another glass." The fairy sighed and said, "No more, we won't have it until next month."

”

Tadpole’s Suicide Note One day, a woman went to the lake to play and swim. Because there was no one around, she took off her clothes and went into the water. There was a white tadpole living in the lake. (Mutation) The white tadpole saw There was a black hole in the water. I was curious and swam in. After the woman finished playing in the water, she put on her clothes and went home. After a few days, the woman felt uncomfortable and kept feeling like there was something in her stomach, so she went to bed. After a hospital examination, the doctor felt something was wrong and performed an operation on her. He found a dead tadpole inside. There was a letter next to the tadpole's body, which read: "Tadpole's suicide note." "Ever since I lived in this black hole, I have been subjected to chaos every day." Beaten with a stick... and beaten by the same kind...

In a holy church, the priest beat all the girls He said, "Whoever's body has come into contact with a man's vagina can be exempted from sin after washing it with my holy water." The first girl washed her hands, the second washed her breasts, the third was about to untie her belt, and the fourth He rushed up to rinse his mouth and said, "I can't wash my butt with her water!"

19. A girl came home in the middle of the night and was attacked by seven thugs. In times of danger, a aunt stepped forward and rescued the girl from being raped. In a radio interview, the aunt said: Actually, I didn’t think about anything at the time. I just thought that this good thing couldn’t come cheap for that little slut!

A plane crashed on a small island, and only one person was left on board. The next American, a Chinese, and a Japanese escaped death, but they encountered cannibals on the island. The chief said to them, as long as the combined length of the three of you exceeds 20 centimeters, we will not eat you. The Americans measured him first, and his length was 12 centimeters, and then the Chinese, his length was 7 centimeters. The Americans and Chinese people breathed a sigh of relief, and thought to themselves, "Damn it. Little Japan doesn't even have 2 centimeters, right?" ?"At this time it was the Japanese's turn to measure. His length was exactly 2 centimeters, and the total length of the three of them was more than 20 centimeters. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief... After the cannibals left, the Americans said: " My length is more than half, and you would have been finished without me. The Chinese people are not convinced and say: Damn, my length is equal to the average. You would have been finished without me.

After a while, the Japanese broke out: Fuck you! .If I hadn’t had an erection just now, you all would have finished playing! !

I’ve seen it and I agree!!! I don’t agree that I’m not Chinese

It was said that a small mountain village had been developed, so a female reporter went to interview it. When she arrived at the entrance of the village, she saw the person at the entrance of the village. There was an old man, and she decided to interview him first. "Uncle, is there anything in your life that makes you feel happier?" the female reporter asked. The old man took a puff of cigarette and said excitedly: "One year, Lao Li's sheep was lost. We all searched for it for three days and three nights, and finally found it in a small ravine. It was very cold at the time. , the wind was very strong, and everyone was very bored, so they started to take turns on the sheep. "Oh, it's so cool!" The female reporter didn't expect him to say this. She was a little embarrassed, but she couldn't help it, so she continued to ask: "Uncle, what are you doing in this life?" "Is there anything that makes you happier?" The old man took a puff of cigarette and said very excitedly: "One year, Lao Wang's wife was lost and we all searched for it for three days and three nights. , and finally found it in a small ravine. It was very cold and windy, and everyone started to take turns to fuck Lao Wang's wife. "It was so cool!" At this time, the female reporter was very embarrassed. He wanted to change the topic, and then asked: "Uncle, is there anything in your life that makes you feel more painful?" The old man knocked the pot of his pipe, with tears in his eyes, and said painfully: "One year, I lost it..."

My father’s suicide note (I can’t stand it after reading it): To my lovely daughter: Eat cakes for ten more times. Then you can find Dad

Dad has played hide and seek with you many times, and you find him immediately every time. But this time, Dad decided to hide for a long time.

Don’t look for it now. When you are fourteen years old (you have to eat cake ten times), you can ask Mommy where your father is hiding.

Okay?

You will definitely miss your dad if he has been hiding for so long, right?

However, dad can’t just run out, otherwise he will lose.

If you still miss daddy, daddy will appear by magic. Because it is magic and not real, so if there is no foul, Dad does not lose.

Dad’s magic is: while you are sleeping, he will play games in your dreams.

When you draw a picture of your father, no matter whether it looks good or not, if you think it is your father, then it is your father

When you look at your father's photo, your father is also secretly looking at you... …

Remember, dad is always with you

You are already a four-year-old eldest sister. Dad wants to ask you something. He wants you to take care of and be filial to your grandfather. Grandma and Mommy, let’s see if you are doing better than Dad before? How good it is, Mommy will tell you

Dad guessed that since we have to play hide and seek for so long this time, grandpa, grandma, and mommy will cry secretly sometimes when they can’t see dad. . Crying secretly is a foul and a failure. If they cry secretly, you have to make them laugh, otherwise they will cry even harder after losing the game.

Okay, honey? You are from the same country, come to the competition to see how good you are, and you are still the father.

Are you ready? The game is about to begin.

A letter from a daughter to her father ten years later. . .

Fun-loving dad, where are you hiding?

Didn’t you say that I can find you after eating cake ten times?

In the past ten years, I have listened to you, dad. In order not to break the rules and fear that I would lose the game and never see you again, I worked hard to take care of my grandpa, grandma, and mommy. When they cried, I made them laugh.

Dad, they finally laughed! I won! The game is over, you should come back, right?

It turns out...that's wrong!

I was looking forward to your return, dad, and when you played hide and seek with me again, my mother told me that I would never see you again!

It turns out that ten years ago I had lost your fun-loving father...

Dad, why do you have the heart to lie to your favorite daughter?

In the past ten years, every time I eat cake, I miss you more and more!

The more I look forward to our reunion in ten years’ time

The accumulation of ten years has really made me lose even more miserably!

Ten years ago, if you had given me a choice,

I would have preferred my father not to lie to me. You should believe your daughter!

I will be strong, and I will work harder to make grandpa, grandma, and mommy laugh.

Or...come and lie to me for the rest of your life, play hide and seek with me for the rest of your life, and let me win you back for the rest of your life

Dad, today, ten years later, I have not lessened the pain of losing you. Shocking,

Although it hurts, I will work hard in my life and will not let down your love.

I will not let down your hard work of playing hide and seek for ten years.

Grown daughter

A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. I poop when I eat. I eat cucumbers and cucumbers and watermelons. How can I poop? What about returning to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

During the Cultural Revolution, the train was extremely crowded, and a man took advantage of the stop to stick his butt out of the window to defecate.

When the train was about to start, the conductor made a final inspection and shouted: Passengers with big faces ahead, please be careful not to eat fried dough sticks outside the window!

3 Say... A college student was kidnapped. The gangster used high-voltage electricity and said to the college student: "Which school are you from?" I only heard the college student say: "I am from the TV University." As a result, he was Shocked

Now! English has been promoted since elementary school!

The following is an English class from the teacher

The class is here... Well... come on ..The children read it together with the teacher! A.B.C.D.E.F... On the way there was a classmate who stopped reading A! The teacher asked him: "Why don't you stop reading it?" The classmate said: "Teacher... ..My mother said that the word B is a bad word and a curse! The teacher looked at him with affectionate eyes and said: "Let me tell you: your mother's B is different from the teacher's B. You Damn B is a curse word. Teacher B is used by foreigners. Do you know?

I was playing CS in an Internet cafe today, and not far away there were two non-mainstream people playing Jin5. It was so loud. Press the keyboard! I was very unhappy! So, I also started pressing the keyboard! I pressed hard! I pressed hard! I pressed faster than them! Louder than them! They couldn't help but look over, and I deliberately glanced at them with contempt. ! Their expressions changed and they stared at me fiercely! I immediately stared back! They continued to play Energetic 5 with livid faces, but the sound exceeded me! How could I accept it? So, I simply slapped the keyboard with my palm! As hard as I could Slap it! Slap it hard! The two guys stopped fighting at first sight and started slapping the keyboard! The sound was louder than mine again! How could I give up? Immediately hit the keyboard with my fists! Hit it hard! Hit it hard! !The two people looked at each other and started to hit the keyboard! The sound surpassed me again! I didn’t admit defeat! I ripped off the keyboard and threw it directly to the ground! I stepped on it hard! I stepped on it hard! Everyone in the Internet cafe shouted to I gave the warmest applause! The two non-mainstream people were dumbfounded and at a loss! However, under my provocative eyes, they also became angry! They also tore off the keyboard! Throw it on the ground and step on it. It was a mess! Then they looked at me provocatively! At this time, the network administrators of the Internet cafe surrounded them! One network administrator looked at the keyboard that was trampled to pieces by them, and slapped him! Then the network administrators swarmed up! The two non-mainstream people beat him up violently! In the end, the two non-mainstream people were lying on the ground. One of the non-mainstream people pointed at me and weakly asked: "Why don't you... beat him?" A network administrator kicked him. He passed by: "I play CS, so I brought my own keyboard!"

One day, a J-school opened opposite Male A's house

10 yuan a time.

A often visits, and ticket buyer B also treats A with respect.

A: How much does it cost?

B: 10 yuan.

A: Come on, let me play for a while.

B: Sir, please, please. Please go to the leftmost room on the third floor.

A ran over quickly, opened the door, and found a beautiful woman. Finished happily.

A few days later

A was a little short of money and had 8 yuan left

A went to beg B

A: Brother, Be accommodating, money is tight lately.

B: Seeing as you are a regular customer, go ahead and go to the rightmost room on the third floor.

A hurriedly ran and when he opened the door, he found an ugly girl. It's almost done.

A few days later

A was even tighter and had 5 yuan left

A went to beg B again

A: Big brother , Brother, it’s been really tough lately. . .

B: Don’t say anything. Seeing that you are a regular customer, go ahead and go to the leftmost room on the second floor.

A hurriedly ran, and when he opened the door, he found an ostrich. A was shocked and hurried to see if it was a male or a female.

Since he had no money, he had no choice but to endure it.

Be patient and get it done.

A few days later

A is extremely tight...

A goes to beg B again

A:. . .

B: A few dollars, this time

A: 3

B: The second room from the left on the second floor.

A slowly climbed up the stairs. On the way, he thought, last time there was an ostrich, this time it was...

When he opened the door, he found it was a man (C).

A cursed on the spot: MD, why are you a man?

I saw C put his middle finger to his mouth and said to A: Shhh

A this When C found a lot of small holes in the wall, C lay on the wall and looked into the holes

A stepped forward and found a man and a woman in the next room...

A cursed: MD, I spent 3 yuan to see other people

C comforted: Bro, okay, I spent 3 yuan last time to see a person and an ostrich, and I didn’t say anything.

After years of frustration, the Smiths still had no children. Finally, one day they decided to hire a surrogate father.

On the day when the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said: "I'm going out, the man is coming soon."

Half an hour later, By chance, a baby photographer who specializes in door-to-door service rang the doorbell.

"Good morning, madam, you don't know me, but I'm here..."

"You don't need to explain, I'm waiting for you." Mrs. Smith interrupted him, "Come in."

"Really! That's great, you know, babies are my specialty." The photographer said after sitting down.

"That's what my husband and I expected. Where do we start?"

"Leave it all to me." The photographer said confidently, "I Usually twice in the bathtub, once on the sofa, and maybe once on the bed in the bedroom. Sometimes the floor in the living room is also fun, you can fully expand it. ”

"Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder Henry and I never succeed."

"It doesn't matter, no one can guarantee success every time. But if

we try more Then let me take pictures from six or seven angles, and I know you will be satisfied with the result."

"I hope we can finish this as soon as possible," Mrs. Smith said with a blush.

"Madam, my work attitude is that a person must be willing to spend time on his work. I am willing to come in and come out in 5 minutes.

You will not be satisfied at first. "

"Don't you think I'm old-fashioned?"

The photographer opened his handbag and took out a baby photo album.

Pointing to one and saying: "This was done on top of a London bus."

"Oh! My God!" Mrs. Smith clutched the handkerchief tightly.

"Look, the twins took a good photo, but their mother was particularly difficult to cooperate with." The photographer handed the photo to Mrs. Smith.

"She was difficult to work with?"

"Yes, I ended up having to take her to Hyde Park and take the photo there.

People watching There are so many, there are three floors inside and three floors outside, everyone wants to see clearly."

"Three floors inside and three floors outside?" Mrs. Smith's eyes widened.

"Yes, and it lasted for three hours. The mother kept yelling and yelling, and I couldn't concentrate at all. Finally

it was getting dark, Even sparrows came to peck at my camera, so I just took a few shots."

"I heard you right, you said sparrows bit your chicken."

"Yes ma'am, if you are ready, I am going to start working

. Now I am going to set up the tripod."

"Tripod?" Mrs. Smith looked at this time I feel really worried.

"Yes, I have to use a tripod to support my Canon Cannon.

Because it's too big to hold in my hand."

" Your cannon is so big..."

"What's wrong, madam, wake up.

”

After the five-year-old boy entered the hotel and asked the lady to do it.

The child entered a five-star hotel and found the waiter and said: “Get your manager.” "

The waiter said: "I'm sorry, the manager is not here."

The child offered 500 yuan and said: "Get me your manager."

The waiter immediately called the manager.

"I'm looking for a girl." The child said.

"We are a five-star hotel and there are no girls." The manager said.

The child bid 5,000 yuan and said: "Find me a lady."

The manager immediately found a row of girls for the little boy to choose from.

"Here." I'll find someone with a disease." The child said.

"We are a five-star hotel and there are no people with illnesses."

The child offered 5,000 yuan and said, "Give it to me. Find a sick lady."

The manager immediately found a row of sick ladies for the little boy to choose from.

The child randomly found one and had sex with her.

The next day the child came to the manager and asked: "I had an affair with that sick person, so am I also sick?"

The manager didn't know what was going on with the child. When buying any medicine, just say: "No, no, no."

The child paid 5,000 yuan and said: "Tell me, am I definitely sick?"

That’s not a runaway!~ I’ll definitely bring it, I’ll definitely bring it!~ The manager put away the money and said excitedly.

“Then I’ll go back and have a chat with our little nanny, then our little nanny will definitely do the same. Are you sick?"

"Then you didn't run away!~I must take care of you, I must take care of you!"

"Then our little nanny will have an affair with my dad, then my dad will She must be sick, right?"

"Then she's not running away!~ She must be taken with her, she must be taken with her!"

"Then my father and my mother have a fight, then my mother She must be sick, right?"

"Then she didn't run away! ~ I must bring her with me, I must bring her with me!"

"Then let my mother have a conversation with our driver, then Our driver must be sick too, right?"

"Then he didn't run away!~ He must be taken with him, he must be taken with him!"

The child slapped the table and cursed: "Damn it. driver! Let you crush the little frog I raised to death!!!! ! ”

Three people died at one time. Their souls flew to heaven.

After arriving at the gate of heaven, an angel appeared and said to them: Sorry, because there are more and more people on earth, heaven has already There is no place left. Only one of the three of you can go to heaven.

The three of them asked what to do? The angel thought for a while and said: Let the three of you tell me how you died. If you are good, you will go to heaven.

So the three people agreed to this method after discussion.

A: I work every day. When I go to work in the morning, my neighbor. He always told me that your wife was cheating at home while you were at work. So I decided to find out whether it was true or not. So I got off work early today and went home to catch my wife. He was naked. There were men's shoes at the door and men's clothes on the floor. So I got angry and looked for the beast in the house, but I couldn't find him at that moment. You have both hands; you can really hide it. I kept attacking his hands until I shouted, "Fuck me." But he was very strong and didn't let go. Finally, I lifted the refrigerator and stabbed him. But I had a heart attack and died.

What about you?

B: I am a high-rise building cleaner. I was painting glass on the 35th floor and suddenly the cable broke. I was falling and caught a family's window sill. I was just glad that I was not dead. Suddenly, a madman rushed out and hit me hard with the refrigerator. Fallen to death.

How did you die?

I was hiding in the refrigerator. > Angel. , the farmer picked up the paper towel and said: This train is fast, if a piece of toilet paper drops, my face will be bloody!

Every day in class, the teacher makes no sense. The students seem to be sleepwalking. , I feel so free to criticize every day. There are so many homeworks, it feels like revenge, and answering questions seems like nothing.

Wan Xiu laughed so much that he looked like a dog, and chased him after class until he hit his head. In the beginning, people talk a lot, know little, and act as representatives. His teeth were cut off, he died miserably, his voice was loud, he had nothing to sell, he had known it beforehand, he had no beggars, he was a stool boy, he dominated the position...

Andy Lau and Zhang Huimei were drinking water at Zhou Xingchi, and suddenly they were scratched Nicholas Tse's wind blew up, and a Wu Qilong emerged from the water. Wu Qilong held Zheng Yijian, rode Huang Jiaju, and snatched away Zhang Huimei; Andy Lau held Zhou Hua sword, rode Jay Chou, climbed over Zhao Benshan, passed through Guan Zhilin, jumped over Pan Changjiang, and snatched away Zhang Huimei. I returned to Zhang Huimei and Aaron Kwok, and even hung a flag in the city called the Ren Xian Flag!

Japanese man and woman talking in bed:

Female: Brother, you are much better than dad! Man: Well, our mother said so too.

(Note: It’s Japan!)

One day, Lao Wu went to the toilet and saw Lao San kicking in the pit. He returned to the dormitory and yelled: Lao Four, Lao San, Lao Er is the boss. . .

In a history class at a famous university, the professor was asking students from all over the world: "To survive or to perish." Who said this famous saying?

After being silent for a long time, Gutian stood up and said: "William Shakespeare."

"Very good, who is known as the "Conscience of Europe"? "Romain Rolland . "

Exactly, students, the person who answered the question just now was a Japanese student, but as a student from a European country, he really couldn't answer it. It's a pity, the professor said with emotion.

< p>"Kill little Japan!" Someone suddenly shouted

"Who! Who said that!" The professor was so angry that his voice trembled.

"Truman said that. "John stood up.

"What do you think you are doing? "The professor said angrily.

"Madonna said it. "Jack also stood up.

"This is really disgusting and simply lawless. "The professor was shaking with anger.

"George. Bush said. "Stephen couldn't sit still.

The class immediately fell into chaos. All the students began to talk about it, and some students began to boo: "Yeah! So damn powerful. "

"Clinton said to Lewinsky. "Mary answered expressionlessly.

The professor was so angry that he couldn't speak. After a while, he strode out the door. When he reached the door, he looked at it coldly. Everyone glanced: “I’ll be back.

"Arnold, Schwarzenegger said it." Bob finally interjected.

Gu Tian spread his hands in grievance: "I didn't do anything bad, why is this happening?"

"Leslie Cheung said it." Li Xiaoli replied with an expression of admiration

< p>All the students gathered in a circle, and Tom was a little dejected: "Damn, we're done."

"Hitler said that." Ikhanova replied immediately.

Wright sighed: "Today will be a very meaningful day.

Bin Laden said." Chris was finally proud that he could name a name.

"This is by no means my proudest day." Gutian said ashamedly.

"Tony Blair said it." I don't know who is answering.

At this time, the principal and the professor came in together. His face was ashen and he said almost word for word: "You have to pay the price for this!"

"Stalin said that. "The whole class answered in unison.