What are the wedding customs in Shandong?

Abstract: China has a large population and a vast land since ancient times. However, due to different regions, cultural differences and other reasons, wedding customs in various parts of China, including engagement and marriage customs, are naturally different in each region. So in this large province, Shandong, what wedding customs are still preserved in modern times? Are modern wedding customs any different from those in the past? This article will introduce you to Shandong’s marriage culture, Shandong’s wedding customs, and what are the traditional Shandong’s wedding customs? Let’s take a look with the editor now! Modern Shandong wedding customs:

1. Shandong wedding customs. Choosing the right day

The good day on the wedding day in Shandong is called the "right day", and the right day is usually chosen by the groom. The wedding day is chosen by the bride's family, and the informal day, also called the "hospitality day", is determined by the bride's family. Generally, the reception day is three to four days earlier than the official day. On the reception day, the groom-to-be will stay at the bride's house for a whole day to entertain the bride's family and friends. The girl's parents will hold a banquet in the hotel that day to entertain all the guests. The bride and groom put on formal attire, host the host of ceremonies, and the guest representatives take the stage to deliver a speech. This is considered to be the first wedding ceremony. The newlyweds also need to toast each guest and accept gifts from the bride’s relatives and friends. After the banquet, the groom will return to his home and will not see the bride until the wedding day.

2. Shandong wedding customs and wedding customs

According to Shandong people’s wedding customs, the earlier the wedding day is, the better. Because there is a saying of “grabbing the head”, the groom’s time to welcome the bride is It is also a good time to ask someone to predict the time. Usually there are two numbers, 8 and 9, which mean wealth and longevity. The number of people coming to pick up the bride must also be an odd number, because after marrying a wife, it will be an even number, and the number is best controlled to a dozen people, among whom there must be a pair of little boys and little girls.

When the groom welcomes the bride, he needs to bring tenderloin for his mother-in-law to eat, which means "mother-in-law's meat". He also needs to bring green onions tied with red thread (meaning a fulfilling life) and a "cornucopia" (actually a decoration). A red basin filled with daily necessities).

The bride has to sit on a new quilt at her parents’ house, which is commonly known as “sitting on the bed.” When the groom arrives at the bride’s house, the bride’s family members will block the door. After receiving the red envelope, he changes his name to “Mom and Dad.” Open the door" before letting him in.

Getting married is the most interesting part of the wedding process in Shandong’s wedding customs. In the old days, the day before the wedding, the groom would put on new clothes and go around the village to pay homage to each other with drums and music. It was called a family ceremony, which means It is to ask relatives and neighbors to help you on the wedding day. In some places, people only salute people of their own clan, which is called performing family rituals. Men in Dongping County go to the homes of relatives and friends to pay homage the day before they marry their brides, which is called "Guan Jing". The gifts given by relatives and friends are also called "Guan Jing". On the eve of the wedding in Wudi, the son-in-law goes to the family temple in full attire; in Lingxian, the person who is about to get married wears adult attire and pays homage to his parents, brothers and sisters; in Huantai, when the wedding is about to take place, the son-in-law wears adult attire and goes to the temple to pay homage to parents, uncles, brothers, Aunts and elder sisters, as well as clan elders and villagers; Tai'an and Dong'a all use wedding as the crowning ceremony, that is, married people are adults and unmarried children are children. Next, it is time to prepare to take the bride home. The groom must put on red shoes for the bride. Of course, this is not an easy task, because the bridesmaid will hide the red shoes. If the groom cannot find it himself If so, you have to give a big red envelope to the bridesmaid to tell you where the red shoes are.

3. Shandong wedding customs. Send-off

In Shandong, the number of people sending off a bride is not important, but the bride’s brother must go and sit in the wedding car called "car pressing" , and the newcomers will also be given a big red envelope. According to the wedding customs in the Northeast, the mother cannot send off her daughter for marriage, and the bride's father can go. The mother has to cry when sending her daughter off. If the daughter also cries, it will make the natal family rich. This is called "Sprinkle golden beans."

4. Shandong wedding customs. Marriage

According to Shandong wedding customs, the bride must put flowers on her mother-in-law’s hair and change her name to mom and dad. Of course, the change fee comes with a big red envelope. , usually 1,001 yuan, which means that the bride is "one of a thousand". After entering the new house, the bride will start eating peanuts and red dates, which means that she will have a baby early. All the boxes and cabinets in the new house will be piled with coins, symbolizing wealth. Next, they will tease the newlyweds in the wedding room and take photos together to leave beautiful memories, and then go to the hotel to hold the wedding according to the scheduled time.

Hotel weddings are held much the same as all over the country. After the host and emcee preside over the wedding, the newlyweds take turns toasting and seeing off guests. According to the custom of Heilongjiang in Northeast China, those sending relatives off must leave before 12 o'clock. In the evening, the newlyweds must have a reunion dinner together at home.

5. Shandong wedding customs. Returning home

Like the customs in other places, the wedding custom in Shandong is for the groom to accompany the bride back to her parents’ home three days later, but they must return to the groom’s side before the sun goes down. Home, if the bride’s home is far away, it will take nine days before she can return.

Shandong traditional marriage customs:

Shandong traditional marriage process: marriage negotiation (marriage age, conditions, marriage negotiation, combined marriage, special marriage negotiation) → engagement (passing on Xiaoqi, passing on Da) Kai) → prepare for the wedding (send a date, a new house, a dowry, a wedding dress, send a wedding gift, fill a box, ask the manager, book a big guest, send a dowry, send a dowry, go to the head, open a face, move a guest, warm the wedding, control food, Mother-in-law dinner) → Marrying (welcome, wait for the bride, send off the bride) → pay a visit to the hall → enter the bridal chamber → sit in the tent → entertain guests → attend the wedding → get married → make a house → pay your respects, meet in the temple → return to the door → call the daughter-in-law.

1. Proposal for marriage

When a man is fifteen or sixteen years old and a woman is seventeen or eighteen years old, a matchmaker will propose marriage. Generally, the man's family invites the matchmaker to the woman's family to "propose marriage". In intermarriage between men and women, the emphasis is on "matching the family and the compatibility of the horoscopes", and both parties attach great importance to the other's appearance and appearance. Age is considered more valuable when a girl is older. It is taboo to avoid a girl who is one year older. There is a saying that "if a girl is one year older, she will not become a wife; if a girl is two years older, she will have a golden age; if a girl is three years old, she will hold a gold brick". After being negotiated by a matchmaker (commonly known as "matchmaking"), the parents of both parties exchange Geng Tie, also known as "exchanging small Cambodians". On the Geng Tie, the birthdays of both men and women (the year, month, day and hour recorded by the stems and branches) are written. They all ask the fortune teller to "combine the eight characters". If the fortune is "blessed", the marriage will basically be decided. There are also people who go on a blind date before exchanging the baby cards, that is, the girl's parents see the boy first, and then the boy's parents visit the girl. After both parents are satisfied, the baby cards are exchanged. In the old days, men and women often had taboos about their zodiac signs, such as "the white horse is afraid of the green ox, the rooster and the monkey have no head, the snake and the rat are like a knife and the file, once the tiger and the sheep are divorced, the dragon and the pig are difficult to mate, and they are most afraid of offending the rabbit and the dog" and other feudal superstitions.

2. Engagement

After the marriage between the man and the woman has been agreed upon, they will exchange wedding invitations, make the engagement ceremony, and hold a more solemn engagement ceremony. The big red calligraphy printed with golden dragon, phoenix and double happiness characters used to exchange the Cambodian card is called the Dragon and Phoenix Cambodian card. The man's family wrote four auspicious sayings on the calligraphy, including "Respect for the Golden Promise" and "A match made in heaven, good luck and fortune, a perfect match made by God, and a happy marriage for a hundred years"; the woman's family wrote "I sincerely follow the jade message" and four auspicious words on the calligraphy reply. The auspicious words are for marriage. The man sends the betrothal gift together with the dragon and phoenix ink, also known as the "betrothal gift". The wedding ceremony includes jewelry, clothing, wedding favors, etc. There are 4-color gifts or 8-color gifts. Usually there is a gift list, which must be carried by someone in a carrying box and sent to the bride's family by a matchmaker. A few wealthy officials and businessmen's families, some Get various pre-order gifts from 12 to 48 units. The bride's family's return gifts include boots, hats, clothing materials, and the four treasures of the study. After the Cambodian exchange, the marriage between the two families is officially concluded, and neither party can regret the agreement.

3. Marrying

After getting engaged, choose an auspicious day, commonly known as "depending on the date", and prepare to get married. Before the wedding, the man's parents send wedding invitations to the girl's parents, relatives and friends. Relatives and friends who receive the wedding invitations all come to congratulate them with gifts. The day before the wedding, the girl's parents hire someone to carry the dowry in a box and deliver it to the man's home. Depending on the family's wealth, there are 4, 8, or 16 kilos. Rich officials and businessmen's families may have 32 kilos or 64 kilos, and ordinary families may have more. They gave gifts of clothes, bedding, and household appliances, while wealthy officials and merchants gave gifts of valuables such as brocade quilts, gold and silver jewelry, and colorful vases with carved screens. On the wedding day, the groom's door will be pasted with happy words and couplets, and colorful silk hung. A pair of bricks with chopsticks and wrapped in red paper will be placed on the top of the door. Wealthy officials and businessmen would also build colorful tents in their courtyards and host large banquets for relatives and friends. There is a flower hall in the courtyard. On the flower hall, there are tablets of the gods of heaven and earth on the table, porcelain statues of the three stars of fortune, wealth and longevity, vases of incense and candles, and a red felt worship mat in front of the table. Lanterns and decorations are also hung in the woman's home to entertain relatives and friends. The man should invite a female guest to welcome the bride, and the woman should invite a female guest to see her off. Both the welcoming and seeing-off female guests should choose "perfect people" who are well-groomed in their prime and have parents, in-laws, and children. At 10 o'clock in the morning, the groom wears a mandarin jacket and a red silk cross, rides a horse or a sedan and welcomes the bride to the bride's home with a drum band and a sedan chair. The bride's family should close the door before the sedan arrives and wait for the sedan to arrive. Accompanied by band and drum music, the groom got off the sedan, knocked on the door and handed over his name card (the name card was written in block letters on big red paper, "My nephew so-and-so would like to pay my respects"). Then the door opened and the groom was ushered into the hall. The groom should kneel down and kowtow three times to the bride's ancestral shrine, and then kneel down and kowtow three times to his parents-in-law, who stand beside him and bow in response. The concierge then leads the groom to the bride's door, and the groom bows towards the door.

4. Bowing down

On the second day after the wedding, the bride should kowtow to the ancestral shrine, and then kowtow to her parents-in-law, uncles, uncles and other elders. bye".

Parents-in-law and elder relatives should give gifts such as coins, jewelry or clothing materials to the bride. There is a saying that "the newlyweds do not make short promises".

5. Send small meals

In the early morning of the next day after the wedding, the bride’s parents send the bride’s brother or nephew to bring food to the groom’s house. Delivering food in the room is called "delivering small meals". The purpose is for the natal family to come and see the bride’s post-marriage condition.

6. Returning home

In the early morning of the third day after the wedding, the bride first goes to the kitchen to worship the stove and cook meals to serve her parents-in-law. Then, the bride and groom go to their parents' home together. The groom is called a "distinguished guest" in the in-laws' family. The groom has to kowtow in front of the shrines of his in-laws' ancestors, and then salute the elders in his in-laws' family. The in-laws' family will host a banquet to entertain them. Returning before the sun sets that day is called "hiding from drowsiness". This is called "returning to the door in three days". On the sixth day after the wedding, the bride and groom go to their in-law's house together, which is commonly known as "six-day walking". On the ninth and twelfth days, go to your parents-in-law's house again. The bride can stay at her parents' house for one night. In some families, it must be a month before the bride can return to her parents' house to "live in the opposite month" by herself, and there is "one night". There is no empty room every month." On the seventh day after the wedding, the bride begins to make clothes, shoes and socks and other needlework. When you live in the opposite month, you need to take the cut fabrics back to your parents' home to make them, and you must make a pair of trousers for the groom. On the fourth and fifth days after the wedding, the bride, led by her mother-in-law, goes to the homes of relatives and friends who have come to congratulate her and acknowledge her relatives. The relatives and friends give the bride a meeting gift, which is called "blessings". On a day with good weather, the bride will be taken to the ancestral grave of her husband's family to worship her ancestors, and a pink tomb paper will be pressed on the grave, which is called "Shangxi Grave".

7. Recruiting a son-in-law

In the old days, wealthy families with daughters but no children had the custom of recruiting sons-in-law to marry into the daughter’s family in order to provide for them in old age and carry on the family line. "Recruiting a son-in-law to support the elderly", "stepping in on the door", etc. Most of the people who practice this custom are from rural areas. Those who are recruited are mostly men from poorer families. After marriage, the man must change his surname to that of the woman and establish a marriage certificate.

8. Child Bride

In the old days, underage girls from poor families were sent to live with their husbands by their parents, and were often abused. They were commonly known as "reunion wives." After reaching adulthood, "consummating" the marriage is considered a marriage.

9. Ghost marriage

Commonly known as "recruiting ghost relatives". In the old days, after the death of an unmarried young man or woman, his parents would find a deceased unmarried young man of the opposite sex to get married, and a marriage ceremony would be held. Each family of the man and woman would set up a spiritual tablet, covered with red silk, and use a sedan to carry the female spiritual tablet to the husband's home. , burn the sacrifice after three days, break the grave and bury the woman's coffin with the man's coffin. From now on, the two families will interact with each other as in-laws.