Complete works of funny paragraphs

Super humorous jokes, pornographic jokes, obscene jokes, etc. And classic funny jokes can make people laugh. We use these jokes by exchanging words. Next is the "funny feature film" I carefully prepared for you. Welcome to watch!

Funny paragraphs (popular articles) 1. Grandma was old and had Alzheimer's disease. Dad couldn't take care of her, so he hired a foreign nanny to take care of her. I asked, Dad, why don't you hire a domestic nanny? The salary is low, and you can chat. Dad sighed: I invited you before, and your grandmother scolded you and ran away. Now this foreigner, your grandmother scolded her for not understanding.

My nephew can't walk, he is afraid to climb everywhere. When eating, we put him in the straight washing machine to play. At first he cried, then he stopped listening and didn't see his little head. I ran over and saw that the little guy was holding his own poop with two small hands and having fun! Seeing this scene, several of us vomited all our food!

I think women should choose hotel waiters as boyfriends. Why? Because the waiter never quarrels with the guests, almost all requirements can be met. All right! I'm just a poor waiter and I can't find a girlfriend yet!

4. I went fishing today and caught three or four catties of miscellaneous fish. Go home and show off to your wife? Honey, do you think I'm great? Come on, get rid of all the fish quickly, and we'll make appetizers later. ? The wife came faintly? Are you nauseous? Tell me to watch your things while killing fish. ? Shit! Tea comes straight out of the nostrils.

5. An uncle went to the bank to withdraw money and went straight to the window. The security guard came over and said, Grandpa, press the number. ? Grandpa:? What? Security guard:? Press the number. ? Grandpa thought, this is a big bank, and he needs a code to withdraw money, so he whispered to the security guard, King Gehudi. ? The security guard had no choice but to help the old man press a queue ticket. The old man thought, You scared me to death, but I was right.

6. I went to have a barbecue last night and ordered the middle wing, which was delicious. I squatted on the ground next to me and thought the dog was cute, so I threw one to it. Then, then, it sniffed, looked at me and walked away. Really, I was rejected?

7. I went to buy a bottle of Hezheng after work. The boss searched for a long time, but he couldn't find it. It's probably sold out. The boss shouted a word that the whole world didn't believe. And it is renamed Jiaduobao! ? Finally took Jiaduobao and left?

8. Dong Zhuo wanted to test his loyalty, so he called all the ministers to the room and asked The Story Of Diu Sim to dance with ink on his chest in black. Suddenly, the light went out and I couldn't see anything. I leaned over and the light came on. Zhuo regarded all ministers' hands as black, but Lu Bu's was white. Xin Ran said that Zhuobu was a loyal minister. Laugh, Lusic.

9. That summer, I swam in the river with my friends in the village and accidentally plunged into a sister's skirt. And that silly girl thought it was a big fish, and I almost suffocated in my skirt.

10. I remember when I was at school, a sister in my class told me that she was the kind with big breasts. I like her too. She asked me to go to a place where there were few people, and she volunteered that I was also holding hands. Finally, I couldn't be together, and now I can't let go of it every time I think about it, which leads to the loss of young memories.

Funny paragraph (classic) 1. Mom is packing her clothes, and I am chatting with her next to her about falling in love. Mom said while cleaning up: Don't look for someone who is too handsome and unreliable! ? I said sadly, mom, look what you gave me. Can I find a handsome guy? My mother breathed a sigh of relief and said, yes, I thought too much. ?

2. Xiaomei wrote down her wishes when she grew up in her composition book: first, I hope to have a lovely child; Second, I also hope to have a husband who loves me. It turns out that the teacher wrote a comment: Please pay attention to the order.

Today, the leader talked to me and taught me a lesson. I took off his leg when he went to eat at noon! Now he has a big bag on his head! See if he dares to be arrogant to me! It's really interesting to take off his chair legs!

4. A cold joke I heard when I was a child! It is said that a little girl likes to compare with her neighbors. Win every time! Until I came home crying and told my mother that my neighbor's brother had a little penis. Why didn't I? Her mother coaxed her into saying. When you are young, you can have as many children as you want when you grow up. When I think about it, her mother really talks big. Now that I have grown up, I finally understand! Her mother is a person with a story.

5. Choi Choi: The composition finally went smoothly, so happy! Mom: Why do you see such rapid progress? Caicai: In the past, the teacher always said that my comments were nonsense. What the teacher wrote today is nonsense!

6. Nowadays, people like to play online games. I told you about an online game. I remember that it was the hottest time between dungeons and warriors, and I met a female number. We had a good chat. I helped her buy equipment, become a member and buy pets. It cost about 3000 yuan. Finally, when we met, we realized that TM's number was called by a man. Finally, I got in touch with him. Shit, 3000 yuan.

Damn it, the thief is crazy now. I didn't fall asleep with a stomachache at two or three last night. I feel a kind of pressure coming at me. When I opened my eyes, I saw a thief put his foot on my bed all the time, so I yelled at him and jumped out of the window. Forget it. I was taken to the hospital by the police to identify people.

8. Tell me about a beautiful colleague who just passed a fruit shop after lunch. I suddenly thought of a joke and teased her: Are you eating or using it? Do you want to choose such a big one? Who knows that she has no integrity than me: if you weren't small, would I choose such a big one? Nima, there are many colleagues around, and the fruit shop owner almost suppressed internal injuries.

9. My son failed in the middle school entrance examination and was scolded by his wife. I went to comfort my son: You must study hard and surpass your father in the future. ? The son paused, and he said weakly: I can't promise anything else. However, I am sure I can find a better wife than you in the future. ?

10. One person sings Ka0k. After singing, ask everyone: How did I sing? Everyone said:? Do you still sing? Singing warm air with the air conditioner on again. ?

Funny paragraphs (selected articles) 1. The sales department of the company's little brother went out to run, and the customer came back with a sullen face and kicked over the trash can in the drinking room. Then he went to the director without saying a word: praised my director and answered directly: I like the way you are angry.

2. When I was in class, I found my aunt at the same table coming, and there was a trace of blood on my skirt. I knew that she didn't dare to tell the teacher, so she gave her a hard blow on the nose and instantly shed blood. I raised my hand: Teacher, I have a nosebleed. I went out to wash my nose and went straight to the store to buy sanitary napkins. Later, she became my wife. . .

3. The centipede was bitten by a snake, so it must be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: Fortunately, I have many legs. The doctor comforted: Brother, relax, you will be an earthworm in the future. ?

4. Eat on the table at noon, then go to sleep, wake up and find a sesame seed on the table, so I put it in my mouth. Colleagues were stunned when they saw it and said something about the nature of eating goods.

5. I remember that I came to menstruation for the first time at night, and I dirty the sheets as soon as I turned around. The next day, my mother saw it and said, other children are drawing maps, but you are writing bloody books!

The prisoner is being sent to the execution ground. The prisoner complained: How fucking far away! ? The police comforted: Dude, you are lucky, we will come back again! ? .

7. There is a handsome guy on the bus, and an aunt comes up at the next stop, standing next to the handsome guy. After a while, my aunt said, nowadays young people are so rude that they don't know how to give their seats to older people. After talking for four or five minutes, the handsome boy blushed. I saw the handsome boy take out a pair of crutches from his seat and stood up trembling. As a result, the audience was silent.

8. I went to school with the village girl when I was a child. I don't know why two Lori are embarrassed. That tells me, who are you going to be with? That guy pulled me and said, you can only be nice to me. I am on the horns of a dilemma. The next day, she held hands and kissed each other. There is no overnight hatred between Lori. That is, she ignored me both. Why?

9. The girl angrily walked up to the boy, threw a cup of chemical reagent on the girl's face standing hand in hand with the boy, and lost a sentence? Bitch? At that time, the girl was disfigured. Boys get excited? Are you out of your mind? How can you throw sulfuric acid at others? You see, people don't recognize it now. How can you do such a crazy thing? . The girl smiled indifferently? Makeup remover from the supermarket in front? .