Living with my mother-in-law is too depressing

Living with the mother-in-law is too depressing

Living with the mother-in-law is too depressing. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem that almost every family needs to face. It is generally a problem for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along peacefully. It is relatively rare, so it is better to just say it is rare. Let me share with you that living with your mother-in-law is too depressing. Living with your mother-in-law is too depressing 1

1. What to do if you feel depressed when living with your mother-in-law

1. Some people may be caused by psychological factors. It is recommended that you chat and communicate with your mother-in-law. Take a look at what kind of person your mother-in-law is. If your mother-in-law has a cheerful personality and treats you as her own daughter, then I suggest you stop thinking so much and just relax.

2. If the mother-in-law does too much, for example, she is partial and always helps her son when the young couple quarrels, then this situation will definitely be very troublesome for the daughter-in-law. I feel unhappy, so I don’t want to live with my mother-in-law. It is recommended that you buy another house, even if you pay a down payment, and you can live separately from your mother-in-law.

Of course, what to do if you are depressed when living with your mother-in-law? You should treat the root cause. You need to understand the specific reasons for the depression. If you have any issues, you can communicate with your husband. In addition, if your mother-in-law is more cheerful, you can also Communicate well with your mother-in-law.

2. What is the reason why the mother-in-law becomes inexplicably irritable when she sees her?

1. It may be the mother-in-law herself. In real life, some mothers-in-law He is really annoying, often bullies his daughter-in-law, and has a lot of dissatisfaction with her. If this is the case, then young people today will feel very irritated.

2. It may also be your own reasons. For example, your mother pampered you very much when you were in your natal family, and now you live with your in-laws. Her mother-in-law cannot pamper you like your biological mother, so she feels dissatisfied. Next, you will feel resentment towards your mother-in-law. In fact, this is just a matter of different personal living habits. You should not have so much resistance.

3. You must know the principle of harmony in the family. If you become irritable when you see your mother-in-law and don't like your mother-in-law, your husband will also notice it, which will affect the relationship between the husband and wife. Living with mother-in-law is too depressing 2

1. Try your best to live separately

In fact, when people grow up, they should live alone, because when they grow up, they will care about privacy. , even if I live at my parents’ house, I sometimes feel depressed. After all, parents are in charge of this family, and many living habits are subject to certain restrictions. And when the daughter-in-law lives with her mother-in-law, even if they have a good relationship, she will feel that this is not her home and she cannot completely relax.

To give some simple examples, even if you want to go to the bathroom, you have to dress neatly; even if you want to watch TV for a while, you are too embarrassed to lie on the sofa. If only the bedroom in a house can make people feel free, then they will definitely feel depressed.

So, when you feel that living with your mother-in-law is very depressing, please try every means to live separately, and do not have any burden or guilt in your heart, because this does not mean that you are not filial to your mother-in-law, nor does it mean that you are not filial to your mother-in-law. Your choice is wrong.

If the conditions are good, you can persuade your lover to buy a house close to your mother-in-law so that it is easier to take care of her. If the conditions are average, it is also possible to rent a house nearby. Your lover will definitely feel pressured by the extra expenses. You can go out to work and relieve some of the pressure for him.

If you want to move out, you may face not only financial pressure, but also the thought of your lover. He may feel that it was not easy for his parents to raise him since he was a child, and he may be afraid that his older parents may have an accident or something. So if you want to move out, you must have a good talk with your lover

Understand his concerns, and at the same time let him understand your inner feelings. You must let him understand that people are When you grow up, you will inevitably leave your parents' family. You need to negotiate a way to alleviate your lover's concerns as much as possible, so that you can move out without affecting the relationship between you, and at the same time, your mother-in-law will not feel abandoned.

There is another thing that needs to be done, which is to do the ideological work of the mother-in-law. This work can be left to a lover or a relative who is familiar with the mother-in-law, especially if she is similar in age. It is easier for a woman to communicate with her mother-in-law.

If you live with your mother-in-law after getting married, it will be a bit difficult to move out after marriage, so you have to be patient when doing these things, cheer yourself up from time to time, and remember to be gentle at the same time. Deal with it tactfully and don't make a fuss.

2. If you must live together, remember to set boundaries for your family

If you really can’t move out, you must set boundaries for your family. .

The first boundary should be established where you may have conflicts, such as cleaning your own room, your children's education, and cleaning your own clothes. In such matters, you can make it clear to your mother-in-law that you are responsible for all these matters and do not let your mother-in-law interfere.

The purpose of this is to ensure that individuals are personally responsible for everything and avoid conflicts arising from different habits.

You can think about it this way, when you were young, why did your parents have the final say in everything you did? Just because they are raising you, they can interfere with you. After you get married, you must be responsible for some of the things you should do. You don't need your mother-in-law to take care of it, and your mother-in-law has no position to blame you. But if you want to enjoy your mother-in-law's help but don't want to listen to her nagging, this is a bit unreasonable. This is your mother-in-law, not your nanny.

If you can make the decision in your own affairs and don’t care about other people’s eyes, this kind of freedom will also make your mood a little more relaxed.

The second boundary must be established emotionally, which requires both you and your lover to work hard together.

First of all, let’s talk about your lover. After getting married, he should deliberately reduce the intimacy with his parents, because if he is particularly close to his parents, it will make his wife feel marginalized, and she will obviously It felt like they were a family and she was an outsider.

Let’s talk about the relationship between you and your lover. You must maintain a certain degree of intimacy in front of your mother-in-law. You must let her feel that your son has grown up and has new feelings, and let your mother-in-law also try to be with you as much as possible. The son is less intimate.

3. Create more opportunities to be alone

If you must live with your mother-in-law, you can also create more opportunities to be alone.

For yourself, you can work harder, find time to study more after work, and go to the library and study room more. After all, people always want to grow up, and after growing up, they must It will bring better income and prepare you for moving out in the future.

For couples, you can arrange some small romances from time to time, such as going out for dinner together, or finding a romantic hotel to stay for one night, or taking advantage of the weekend to go to surrounding cities for a day or two.

In short, it is best to use the love of your husband to make up for the depression when getting along with your mother-in-law. Although it will not completely erase the trauma in your heart, it can comfort her a little. Living with my mother-in-law is too depressing 3

1. The principle of mutual respect. It does not belong to the category that we should take care of. Whether it is speaking, acting or living habits, we should try to maintain independence and the principle of peaceful coexistence, and avoid forcing others to make things difficult for them and meddling in their own affairs.

2. Talk about things in person, don’t whisper behind your back. To avoid being overheard by the other party, you will inevitably feel uncomfortable, which may lead to depression or conflict over time.

3. Don’t be overly polite, nor overly rude or domineering. If you don't say what you should say, you will inevitably feel depressed and resentful for a long time; if you say nonsense that shouldn't be said, or if you don't pay attention to methods, or if you are honest and rude, it will also intensify conflicts. If you pay more attention to methods and arts, your family life will be smoother.

4. Over time, depression is inevitable. Go out for a walk. Whether it is participating in activities, visiting relatives, or traveling, it will free up mental space and make people cope with it easily.

5. Give both parties more independent space so that both parties can relax. Don't get entangled, don't get entangled.

Sixth, the most important thing is that both parties should treat each other as relatives and not as outsiders.

Only in this way, even if contradictions and conflicts occur, they can be let go and resolved; if they cannot be resolved temporarily, let them go first and find an appropriate opportunity to resolve them later.

7. Praise more and criticize less. Don't make random complaints behind your back, otherwise it will definitely damage the relationship between each other and lay the foundation for family tension.

When your parents-in-law live with you, it is often not for a short period of time, but most likely for several years or even decades. This does require you to hone your character and cultivate a sense of integration, otherwise it will be difficult to adapt. I have also seen many daughters-in-law get along very well with their parents-in-law, which makes people feel happy and touched. They are not only family members, but also relatives who depend on each other for life and death. This is indeed a good fate and practice, which we need to understand and cherish.