Love and pain may be life.

"The rain is gurgling, like living by a stream. I'd rather it rains every day, thinking that you can't come because of it. But self-deception is not good. I still hope that it will be sunny every day and it will rain with an umbrella in my hand. " This beautiful classic quotation, from Zhang Ailing's novel little reunion, fully embodies Zhang Ailing's sensitive perception and delicate writing style. Reading China's modern history can't help reading Zhang Ailing. Reading Zhang Ailing can't help reading little reunion. When it comes to Zhang Ailing, many people will be familiar with it. She is one of the four talented women in the Republic of China. Among her numerous works, the novel little reunion is the most mysterious and desirable.

Little reunion is unique in that it is not only the legacy of Zhang Ailing, but also her masterpiece. It can be said that this book is the closest to Zhang Ailing's autobiography. Reading it is like reading and understanding Zhang Ailing's life.

Zhang Ailing was born in a famous family in Shanghai, and her grandfather Zhang Peilun was a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty. She likes reading since she was a child. At the age of twelve, she published her literary works in school periodicals and magazines. At an early age, he showed a good writing talent. However, it is such a talented and intelligent woman who has an unfortunate childhood. Zhang Ailing's father, a little widow of the Republic of China, has a bad habit of being a rich young master, addicted to opium, gambling and visiting brothels. However, Zhang Ailing's "Mother" is a new school of women deeply influenced by the May 4th Movement. They are eager for pleasure and pursue an affair. When she was very young, her mother Huang Yifan left Zhang Ailing to study in Europe because of disagreement with her family. Even after returning to China, she was very close to Zhang Ailing, and even often insulted and laughed at her. Zhang Ailing is unfortunate. She didn't have a harmonious and beautiful childhood. She didn't feel the care of her parents. The indifference from her family filled her with sadness and longed to be deeply loved. With a sense of loss, Zhang Ailing wrote these thoughts into the text. This is why when we read Zhang Ailing's novels, we can always feel her unique style and distinctive personality.

Little reunion by Zhang Ailing was written in 1975, when she was 55 years old. Looking back, she has too many stories for the world. As she said in the preface of the book, this little reunion is a passionate story, which expresses the vicissitudes of love and what remains after love is completely disillusioned. In this book, Zhang Ailing wrote down all the bitter past events in her life with delicate and indifferent writing, realizing the reunion of history and reality.

The hero of the novel, Jiu Li, was born in chaos and had an unhappy childhood. At a very young age, he was adopted as a half-brother by his father Ned, and changed his name to his biological father Ned as his second uncle, and his biological mother Rachel as his second aunt. In the eyes of Ned and Rachel, it seems that the adopted daughter is really not her own daughter. Both husband and wife are very bad to Jiu Li, and her father's indifference makes her heart very sensitive and fragile, especially after Rachel and Ned divorced, her father married her stepmother, and her stepmother and father were almost harsh on her. However, Rachel, her biological mother, is greedy for pleasure, staying in the most expensive hotel in Hong Kong and indulging in gambling all day. She spent all her daughter's scholarships overnight, and even told Jiuli that she had several boyfriends. When Jiuli did something wrong, she rudely cursed her. When Jiuli was sick, she called her "life is worse than death". What mother in the world would curse her child like this? Rachel seems to have completely forgotten that she is a mother, selfish and irresponsible. She lived a luxurious life, but made her young daughter miserable, regardless of life and death. The phrase "I don't know why, eighteen years old is extremely slim, like a mountain, I can't cross it, I can't see it", sighing the loneliness and helplessness in Jiu Li's heart. Fortunately, Jiuli is very talented and competitive. She studies very hard, always gets a scholarship, and can earn money by writing her own articles.

It is precisely because of the lack of caring childhood that Jiuli is used to packaging his vulnerability with indifference and is extremely eager to be cared for. It is also in such a loveless psychological environment that when I learned from my friend Bibina that Shao Zhiyong appreciated his works very much, Jiu Li couldn't wait to meet this person. She is too eager for attention. When Jiu Li saw Shao Zhiyong's comments on her works, she seemed to see his "understanding" and "consideration" for her in Shao Zhiyong. This understanding came from the tacit understanding and feelings between two literati, and she felt that she had met a bosom friend.

After meeting Shao Zhiyong formally, he was honest with her: when he read her words, he made up his mind to meet the writer, whether he is a man or a woman, he must have some connection with the writer. This brought great touch to Jiu Li's heart, and she felt that she deeply felt his sincerity and enthusiasm. His boldness and persistence made Jiu Li's heart begin to shake. She longs for someone to love her, understand her and cherish her. Love and attention are what she lacked since childhood. As a 22-year-old teenage girl, she didn't know her first acquaintance with Shao Zhiyong. Her frozen heart seemed to be washed away by the sun and gradually began to melt. Love and hate entanglements between two people have laid a deep foundation for love at first sight.

After the first contact with Shao Zhiyong, they interacted more and more, and gradually became familiar with each other. Jiu Li began to pay attention to Shao Zhiyong's words and deeds. The casual smile on his face can also make her deeply immersed in it. Even Shao Zhiyong finished smoking the remaining cigarette butts in her home, and she carefully collected them in an envelope. After several conversations and contacts, she felt that he understood her more and more, and she saw love in him. The love she imagined in her mind came first. Yes, she was deeply attracted by this middle-aged man. She is hopelessly in love with a married man she shouldn't love.

Love is fierce. Jiu Li met a warm-hearted confidant for the first time. She really can't let go, and she really doesn't want to.

Perhaps it is the sentence "A woman in love has zero IQ". When friends around her reminded Jiu Li not to get too close to Shao Zhiyong, Jiu Li fell in love with this married man 17 years older than her, and fell into the whirlpool of love completely. She really doesn't want to look back. She was still willing to believe that this man would give up his existing marriage for her, so she became a stupid woman in humble love.

People who are carried away by love are irrational. In Zhang Ailing's works, Jiu Li's infatuation with love is vividly described. Even though she knew that Shao Zhiyong had a family, even though she knew that he would not divorce for a while, she still loved this man without any regrets. Much like Zhang Ailing, who loves Hu Lancheng deeply.

After a short period of love and joy, Jiu Li and Shao Zhiyong got marriage certificates. However, she gradually realized that Shao Zhiyong was a romantic and affectionate person, and he even admitted that he had a lover. Even so, she resolutely chose to love the man covered in stains and swallowed all the unwillingness and grievances. In this love, she really fell into the dust. She tried to exchange silence for Shao Zhiyong's loyalty and single-mindedness, waiting for the prodigal son to return. But she didn't know that her compromise and pretense of indifference could not get Shao Zhiyong's gratitude and change at all. He can talk a lot, but he wants her to be single-minded. She longs for monogamy, but he wants three wives and four concubines. He loves her, but he also loves others. Finally, Jiuli's love flower began to dry up. She resolutely left him, and the sentence "I left you not for your women, but because I will never be happy with you" was full of tears.

Later, Jiu Li walked into another Yanshan mountain that could give him the feeling of first love, but in the face of this man, Jiu Li had reservations. If two people in love are wary of each other when they meet a bad lover, then this relationship will not last long after all. In the end, Jiuli failed to stay with Yanshan.

In the later years, in retrospect, Jiu Li felt that people would fall in love with all kinds of people all their lives. Loved people, even if they can't be together all their lives, as long as they really loved each other, that is the reunion of love.

She likes Shao Zhiyong and Yanshan Mountain. Although they never stayed with her until they were old, Jiuli never regretted the time of falling in love.

Faced with betrayal and disappointment, she chose to let go of herself with her indifference and indifference.

Jiu Li's life was full of misfortunes since childhood. Her parents divorced, her family broke up, and she lacked the care of her family for a long time, which made her feel vulnerable and helpless, and her life was extremely embarrassing. Therefore, she longs for a lot of love and money.

When Shao Zhiyong met her, she fell in love with him desperately and even tolerated his infidelity and promiscuity.

Yanshan gave her the excitement and warmth of her first love. She also fell in love with Yanshan and dreamed of living with him, but Yanshan finally married someone else.

The two pieces of love ended in vain, which greatly changed Jiuli's mood. She no longer expects love, nor does she expect a long marriage.

After vicissitudes of life, she finally understood that love is not wishful thinking, and no matter how deep it is, there is no guarantee that love will never change. Love will be defeated by human nature and reality, so she gave up Shao Zhiyong decisively and put down Yanshan calmly.

I have been in love, even if I have to part in the end, it is better than never being in love and living alone.

I have loved and hurt, maybe this is life.

Whether it is Jiu Li in little reunion or Zhang Ailing in reality, their stories tell us that love is the happy reunion of two of a kind. If only one person persists and works hard, it is better to leave smartly and love yourself.