Psychological interpretation is nothing more than thirty

In the TV series "Thirty without Nothing", when Xu Huanshan was found cheating by Gu Jia, he cried and hid his face, confessing that he was cheating because of impulsiveness.

So he cheated on me. Was it really an impulse?

Let's review and analyze how Xu Huanshan derailed.

Xu Huanshan has a good talent for fireworks design and runs a well-developed fireworks company, which shows the artist's self-esteem in many cases. But is Xu Huanshan a person with strong self-esteem?

Actually, it's not.

Psychologists divide high self-esteem into "stable high self-esteem" and "unstable high self-esteem".

Stable high self-esteem usually includes:

Always in a state of high self-esteem, firm goals, very difficult to be changed, able to know where the upper limit of their abilities is, dare to make choices, and be able to cope with failure calmly.

Unstable high self-esteem usually includes:

Emotion fluctuates greatly, and it is particularly easy to get emotional, so it is difficult to extricate oneself from the two States of boasting and inferiority.

When Xu Huanshan got along with Gu Jia, Gu Jia often praised him, recognized him and maintained his face. Said that everything in the family was earned by him through design. But when faced with some principled issues, such as blue fireworks, Gu Jia will make rational suggestions, and safety is the most important.

But for people who are unstable and have high self-esteem, they will think that these opposing suggestions are not for people to see, and opposing this matter is to completely oppose him. Therefore, when Gu Jia said that blue fireworks should be destroyed for safety, Xu Huanshan was very annoyed, saying that blue fireworks were his dream, and not allowing production would hinder him from realizing his dream!

For the receptionist Lin Youyou and Xu Huanshan met on a business trip, he felt completely different treatment.

As soon as Lin You appeared, he was full of worship, playing a small guitar and singing love songs to Xu Huanshan, praising Xu Huanshan with all kinds of rainbow farts. This makes Xu Huanshan have an illusion that only Lin Youcai knows himself. When he is in front of Lin Youyou, he thinks he is the most talented designer.

Obviously, Xu Huanshan's evaluation of his own goals and self is unstable and easily influenced by others. He is an unstable man with strong self-esteem. What he needs most is constant praise. When he is praised, his self-esteem will soar and he can feel good about himself.

Therefore, Xu Huanshan, who has unstable self-esteem and high self-esteem, is very easy to cheat when she meets a little girl Lin Youyou who continues to praise and worship.

Lin Youyou has been labeling Xu Huanshan.

For example, when we met for the first time, Lin Youyou told Xu Huanshan that those who play with fire are definitely not good children, and you are definitely worse than you think.

At the same time, Lin Youyou kept telling Xu Huanshan that he lived without himself, and he was bound by Gu Jia, just playing Gu Jia for one of his people. This led Xu Huanshan to secretly take Xu Ziyan out to play in order to prove that he could live as himself when he specifically told him not to take Xu Ziyan out with a cold in Gu Jia, which eventually led to his son's fever.

Psychological research has found that the real change of behavior is the change of identity.

For example, for two people who quit smoking, when someone asks them to smoke.

One said, "No, I'm quitting smoking".

The other said, "No, I don't smoke."

Which is easier to quit smoking successfully?

I don't smoke any more Because it shows his status as a non-smoker. He will use behavior to maintain this identity.

So is Xu Huanshan. Being labeled as "Stop being controlled by Gu Jia and live your own life". Therefore, the behavior will also show the performance of maintaining the identity tag.

Xu Huanshan is bound by Gu Jia, and there are many things that can't be done. For example, because of fatty liver, Gu Jia wouldn't let him skip dinner; For example, Gu Jia wouldn't let him play football because he was caught kicking and hitting people.

While Lin Youyou tried every means to help Xu Huanshan break the rules set by Gu Jia.

Maybe Lin has the heart of the virgin Mary and wants to save the mountain?

Maybe now Xu Huan has become a trophy that Lin Youyou wants to compete with Gu Jia and must win?

Anyway, in the end, Lin succeeded in breaking through the mountain defense. Xu Huanshan started eating dinner, playing football, and officially derailed.

This is actually a psychological window-breaking effect.

The "broken window effect" means that if someone breaks the window glass of a building and the window is not repaired in time, others may follow suit and break more windows.

This theory holds that bad phenomena in the environment, if not stopped, will induce people to follow the trend, and even get worse.

For the permission of Xu Huanshan's first potential cheating object, Gu Jia took timely action to stop it when it just happened, thus preventing the broken window effect.

The relationship between Xu Huanshan and Lin Youyou has never been discovered by Gu Jia. Therefore, after eating, kicking, texting and being kissed, Xu Huanshan gradually lowered his standards and even rented a house for Lin Youyou for a year and lived together.

By showing weakness and pretending to be poor, Lin Youyou can easily arouse Xu Huanshan's desire for protection. Booking hotels, ordering food and renting houses for Lin Youyou can stimulate Xu Huanshan's sense of self-worth.

It also created an opportunity for Xu Huanshan to be a hero.

Once, Lin was in a bad mood and got drunk in a bar. He was so drunk that he fell on the side of the road. A man wanted to take advantage of her, but I didn't expect Xu Huanshan to appear. Xu Huanshan drove away the bad guys, took Lin Youyou back to the hotel and took care of her all night.

Who doesn't want to be a hero who can save others?

On the one hand, a person's self-worth comes from his value to others.

Moreover, when people help others, dopamine will be released in the brain and the content of serotonin in the blood will increase, both of which will make people feel happy.

This will make Xu Huanshan addicted to the long relationship with Lin.

At first, although Xu Huanshan was attracted by Lin Youyou's enthusiasm, he still kept his own boundaries.

But there was an impressive scene of eating ice cream, which played a key breakthrough role in Xu Huanshan's derailment.

Lin Youyou took Xu Huanshan to an online celebrity store to eat ice cream, took a bite of his ice cream while Xu Huanshan was not paying attention, and then ran away. Xu Huanshan was surprised and continued to eat.

Psychology has a theory of embodied cognition. Mainly refers to the physiological experience and behavior can affect the psychological state. For example, if people smile, they tend to be happier. This is because when people have a certain physiological experience or behavior, in order to prevent cognitive imbalance, the brain will tell itself that this is what you think, and then you will really believe it.

It is the key action for Xu Huanshan to choose to eat the ice cream bitten by Lin.

First, the brain will tell him, "Look, you are not afraid of getting dirty. You must have liked her after eating ice cream with saliva on it. " Then he will really believe that he may like her, otherwise how can you eat ice cream with saliva on it?

Secondly, when eating this ice cream, his heart must be pounding wildly, which not only surprised Lin's movements, but also seemed to be secretly doing a bad thing that others could not find. This fast heartbeat will make Xu Huanshan's brain think that he likes Lin Youyou very much. This is similar to the "dangerous bridge effect" of embodied cognition Dating on a trembling bridge will produce a physiological feeling of nervousness and rapid heartbeat, which will make people think that they will like each other more because of the extra temptation to the date.

All these make Xu Huanshan feel that he really has a soft spot for Lin Youqing.

After the project cooperation between Xu Huanshan and Paradise ended, Lin Youyou quit his job in Beijing Paradise, chased after Shanghai and lived near Xu Huanshan Company.

In the research of behavioral psychology, environment is a factor that affects people's behavior.

For example, if you want to lose weight, don't put food on the coffee table, so you can't reach for it easily.

For example, if you don't want to look at your mobile phone before going to bed, turn it off in the farthest room, so you will find it troublesome to turn it on in another room instead of holding it, thus getting rid of the habit of looking at your mobile phone before going to bed.

Forest right also makes full use of the accessibility of the environment to promote behavior. She deeply knows that if she is in a different place, the relationship with Xu Huanshan will end with the end of the project. So, she quit her original job and came to Shanghai. She stayed around Xu Huanshan's company and had frequent contact with Xu Huanshan.

In this available situation, Xu Huanshan's derailment was accelerated.

Xu Huanshan has no stable high self-esteem, needs continuous praise from the outside world, and can't accept the negation and failure of others.

Xu Huanshan's cognition of himself is not clear enough, and he regards being protected as being bound, which is easily influenced by the tagged language of the outside world.

Therefore, when Xu Huanshan broke through the shackles of eating dinner and playing football, it became more and more difficult to curb his desire to get rid of the shackles.

This is not an impulse, nor a dream, but an inappropriate understanding of one's current situation.

Xu Huanshan thinks he is a puppet trapped on the stage, and Gu Jia is an informer.

At this time, "poor and weak" Lin Youyou gave him a chance to feel stronger and more valuable. As a result, Xu Huanshan was attracted and gradually stepped into the "magic mountain".

At the same time, he met Lin Youyou, a master of tea making. Stealing ice cream breaks the sense of boundaries and creates more opportunities to get along with each other in Shanghai.

This is an excellent opportunity for Xu Huanshan who wants to break the existing world and thinks there will be a new world.

Psychologist Victor Frank, the founder of meaning therapy, said: "There is a space between stimulus and response. In this space, we have the right to choose our own response. Our reaction shows our growth and freedom. "

Indeed, life is a process of continuous growth. In the process of self-exploration and self-construction, we need to keep trying and meet all kinds of "stimuli".

But before we act, we need to evaluate:

Did you take the initiative to try based on the value direction?

Or is it because of the illusion in front of you and the pressure?