The last ten days with my father

201may 7 16 at noon, I was reading at my desk. It was early summer, and the air in Xia Feng was fresh and humid. But somehow, I felt a little uneasy. At this time, the sudden ringing of the mobile phone broke my slightly distracted thoughts. When I saw the call, it was my sister's. A trace of anxiety that has been suppressed by me has come out again. I picked up my mobile phone and connected the phone and said, "Guixiu, why did you suddenly call me?" Anxiety in my heart is getting bigger and bigger. I expected my sister to call me only when she was free to miss me, but the voice on the other end of the phone told me a bad fact: my father was ill. My heart suddenly trembled. My father is 97 years old this year. In recent years, his health has gone from bad to worse, but nothing must happen. I quickly asked about my sister's father's physical condition, and the answer I got seemed to have been severely twisted in my heart. Father may be dying. Over the years, for many reasons, I have not been able to serve and take care of his old man's house by my father's side, but now ... considering this, I have made a decision that I must go back to see my father as soon as possible.

My parents only gave birth to me and my sister. My sister married in Chengdu Plain. My mother left us early because of poor health. My father has been living with us. 200 1 year, my wife and I plan to go out to work. If I leave my father alone in my hometown, we won't rest assured. We will discuss with my sister and let him stay at her house. I will bear all his living expenses and medical expenses, and my sister will take care of my father's daily life, sister. My brother-in-law and the whole family agreed, and my sister took my father to her home at that time. Because my son, son-in-law and daughter have been working outside for a long time, my wife and I are also outside now, and the house at home is empty and has become a real empty nest. Up to now, more than ten years have passed, and the house in my hometown has changed from an empty nest to a dangerous nest. Through the looting of the Wenchuan earthquake in 2008, it was completely uninhabitable.

? After answering my sister's phone call, I quickly began to inquire about booking air tickets on my mobile phone, but there were no tickets for that day, only tickets for three or four days later. I also asked about the train tickets. The train should be booked in advance, and the tickets for the last three or four days have been sold out. I can't help it. I went to buy a long-distance ticket again. Fortunately, the coach has tickets for the next day. /kloc got on the train from Xiamen on 0/8, and arrived in Chengdu 24 hours a day and night on 0/9. If you want to get back as soon as possible, taking the bus is the fastest at present. Although the little granddaughter refused to take the bus again and again, after doing her ideological work again and again, she finally obeyed. After I booked the ticket, I quickly went to the office to ask for leave and explain the situation, which was quickly approved. After my own leave was approved, I immediately went to ask for leave from my wife and then went to school to ask for leave from my little granddaughter. My eldest granddaughter is in high school, and her study task is too heavy to take care of, so I have to keep her. I can't go back. Although my granddaughter is in high school, she is still a child of fourteen or fifteen. We don't trust to leave her here alone. I quickly called her grandmother and asked her to take care of it for a while. Fortunately, her grandmother set off after receiving the call, and chartered a car from Zhangping for more than two hours. After finishing these things all afternoon, I packed my clothes and prepared everyone's belongings overnight.

? Along the way, I didn't care to see the beautiful scenery along the way. I just hope the driver will drive faster and get to the finish line as soon as possible. After a day and a night's flight, I finally arrived in Chengdu on the afternoon of 18, and the long-distance bus arrived at Chengdu Wukuaishi North Gate Station. I got off the bus first, quickly found my own route and hurried out of the station with my family. As soon as we got out of the station gate, we saw our son's car waiting there, and our party saw it at a glance.

When I got to my sister's house, I went directly to my father's room, helped him out of bed and sat down. I sat by the bed and held him in my arms. I said loudly, Dad, I am your son, and I have come back to see you with your daughter-in-law, grandson, grandson's daughter-in-law and great-granddaughter. Dad stroked my face and body with his weak hands. His hands are cold. His mouth speaks feebly. I can't hear what he said clearly, but I can feel it. What he said must be: Are you okay outside? How are your two great grandchildren? As long as you are all well, I am relieved. I said: we are all well, and your grandson and great-grandson are all well. Don't worry, you should take good care of your health. I saw a smile on my father's face. I asked my little granddaughter to come to bed and hold his grandfather's hand. My father held my great-granddaughter's hand and stroked her from beginning to end. I still keep talking about something. I know what he said must be that our educated children and grandchildren have developed and prospered from generation to generation. Please ask the Bodhisattva to bless my precious children and grandchildren with peace and happiness forever. Our educated family will always prosper, and there will be successors. Because every time I come back, he will say these words to us. Although he couldn't make it clear this time, I know he must have said the same thing as before.

Since my father was in his eighties, his eyesight and hearing began to decline gradually, getting worse every year. Finally, he was completely blind and completely deaf. In recent years, when we come back to see him, we have to talk to him loudly. He can hardly hear at all, and every sentence has to be repeated many times to hear clearly. If he can't see, he will touch us with his hand. I know, although he can't see with his eyes and can't hear with his ears. So every time we come back to see him, he always touches us with his hand and treats us as three-year-olds We are all like children, let him touch our heads, our faces and our arms, and let his old man slowly touch all over his body. I know that this is the deepest and most reluctant expression of a father's love for his son and grandson.

My family stayed in front of my father's bed for over an hour. At this time, it was already six o'clock in the afternoon. My sister invited us to dinner and said that you were hungry after such a long ride. Come and eat. Then I remembered that I didn't eat breakfast or lunch in the car today, and now I'm really hungry. At the dinner table, my sister prepared a big table of rich meals, and my sister and brother-in-law pushed all the delicious dishes in front of us and asked us for more. I feel full. I can't eat any more. After eating, I hurried to my father's bedside. I poured him a glass of milk, helped his father sit up and fed him with a spoon, but he stopped drinking after only a few sips. I repeatedly fed milk to his mouth, but he just wouldn't drink it. He pushed it away with his hand. No matter what I say, he won't take it. I have no choice but to help him sleep.

? My father has never left his sister's house since 200 1 year. He has been my sister for more than ten years, and his brother-in-law is taking care of her daily life. Although my father has been in good health all these years, until recently, he was able to take care of himself in his daily life. However, for so many years, my sister has been washing and cooking for him every day, bringing him tea and water, in every possible way. Always lucky. This time I will come back to take care of my father personally and do my best. Now, my wife and I will look after my father.

? In the evening, I put a chair in front of my father's bed. I sat in a chair and slept with him. He wakes up several times a night. Every time he wakes up, I will pick him up, help him relieve himself on the toilet seat, wipe his ass with toilet paper after relieving his big hand, then help him put on his pants and put him to bed. This is repeated several times every night. My father was in good health when he was young, and his weight was150kg. But now, all he has is a skeleton. He now weighs only about sixty or seventy kilograms. I don't need to take care of him at all. Every time I hold my father, my heart is extremely painful. Looking back on a person's life, it's really hard. Why are people so brave and capable when they are young and so helpless when they are old? Why can't people live forever and finally leave this world? If there really is an elixir of life in the world, that would be great. I didn't feel sleepy all night, thinking about it, and it was dawn before I knew it.

? Dad is extremely weak, and there seems to be something blocking his throat, so it is difficult to drown the water. We take turns in front of his bed, scrubbing his body with hot towels every day, and changing his clothes and sheets once a day. In the next few days, his thinking became more and more unclear. Sometimes he buckles his ass with his hands and makes his hands full of shit. When we found out, we immediately washed his hands and scrubbed his body with hot water. This kind of thing has to be dealt with once or twice a day. People say that when a person is born, he will grow up from a baby, and then when he is old, he will slowly return to the original point like a baby. Through this nursing of his 97-year-old father, I really realized the hardship and difficulty of our parents feeding us from baby to adult bit by bit. How hard it is for our parents to raise us from 0 to 18. It's really hard to imagine the hardships they have paid for us, and the efforts we have made for our elderly parents are only nine Niu Yi hairs, which is very insignificant compared with what our parents have paid for us, so I must overcome all difficulties, try my best to serve my father well and accompany him through the last mile of my life.

After the news that my father was seriously ill spread, relatives in my hometown and relatives and friends living in Chengdu and Mianyang came to visit him one after another. Although dad didn't eat for many days, he just drank some milk and white water, and he was too weak to get up in bed, but he had to shake hands with his relatives and friends one by one, and he could feel who everyone was. People who come to see him will say some words of greeting, comfort and blessing.

Dad's health is getting worse. He came back from Xiamen on May 18 to see his old man. Today, it has been 10 days. We are with him day and night. Although he can't eat anything, we should feed him milk, scrub his body and change his clothes on time every day. Today, when I was washing my father's feet, I found that his hands and feet were not as warm as before, and I felt a little cold. I am in a hurry. Tell them this situation, and our whole family gathered around to visit him. Dad's face is still very kind and natural, and his breathing is normal. There is nothing unusual except cold hands and feet. He is quiet and has no painful expression. Dad's body didn't suffer from any disease, it was natural aging and the natural end of life. There used to be many enlightened people who didn't eat any food for many days at the end of their lives. In the end, he died of nothing. Dad is an ordinary person without education. He worked hard all his life and went through hardships for life. He never had any serious illness in his life, nor did he have any illness in his later years. Now his body is slowly aging naturally, but he hasn't eaten for more than ten days without any disease. This is a natural phenomenon of leading an honest and clean life. Like those enlightened people, he didn't get sick in the end.

Dad's temperature is dropping slowly. I know this is an ominous sign, indicating that his blood doesn't have much power to flow. Our family has always been by his old man's side. On the evening of May 29th 12: 50, my father walked the last second of his life, and he left us peacefully. Our family is in front of my father's bed, tears are running down, and my sister is crying loudly. I quickly burned money paper in front of my father's bed, set off firecrackers and lit incense wax. I said hello to Mr. Yin Yang in advance. If I fail, I must arrive at once. After a few minutes on the phone, Mr. Yin and Yang arrived. According to the custom, the master of Yin and Yang recited scriptures and worshipped Buddha. After doing some kung fu, he cleaned his father, put on a shroud, put it in an electric ice coffin, and finally set up a tribute table. Our family stood in front of my father's coffin, burning paper and incense until dawn.

Dad lived in my sister's house in Xindu for 17 years, and finally left us here. When dad's health goes from bad to worse, we should send him to the hospital for care, but the only wish before his death is that we should never send him to the hospital when he is dying. He doesn't want to die in the hospital. Another wish is that he will never be cremated. A hundred years later, he must be sent back to his hometown for burial. Me and him. My brother-in-law, let dad's coffin park here for a day and a night, and let relatives and friends around here come here to say goodbye to him. On the morning of 3 1, we will charter a car to transport dad's coffin back to his hometown in Yanting, where he will be treated and a farewell ceremony will be held at the memorial service.

? On 30th, I posted an Oracle on WeChat about my father's death, and sent a notice to all my relatives and friends, telling them to hold a farewell ceremony and a memorial service for my father in my hometown on May 3rd1.

? My family has been away from home for more than seventeen years. The house in my hometown has been unoccupied and maintained for many years. The house is dilapidated and uninhabitable, and the yard is full of weeds and trees. My father's funeral was held in my hometown. I have to clean up the yard first, and I have to set up a mourning hall and tent in the yard. As the saying goes, a distant relative is not as thirsty as a close neighbor. The repossession depends on the help of relatives and neighbors in my hometown. My in-laws Du invited several people to help, uprooted the weeds in the yard, bought tarpaulins, set up a tent in the yard, set up a mourning hall, put my father's shoumu in the mourning hall, set up a mourning platform, put away the tributes, bought fragrant money paper and other things, booked a banquet for two days, and asked the chef to put away the table, board, chopsticks and stove.

At 8 o'clock in the morning of 3 1, six cars watched two carts form a motorcade, carrying our sisters and all our staff, together with the band car of Yin and Yang teacher and funeral ceremony, and escorting my father's hearse from Xindu, and it took less than two hours to arrive at Longmen Cliff's hometown. After arriving, relatives and friends in my hometown have made all the preparations, waiting to set off firecrackers at the intersection, and the whole yard is surrounded by more than 100 wreaths. The wreaths were all sent by relatives and friends in my hometown. Shoumu was placed in the mourning hall, and the neighbors of the production team helped me take my father's spirit out of the ice coffin of the funeral car and put it in the red Shoumu coffin. According to the custom of my hometown, before entering the coffin, I spread a layer of plant ash on the coffin, and then printed a cup seal on the flat plant ash with a glass mouth. The cup seal should be printed according to the age of the deceased. You need to print 97 cup prints on it, and then put a coin on each cup print, which can be one yuan, fifty cents or ten cents. I know this custom in my hometown, and I have prepared it in advance.

Tens of dollars of coins, put away the coins, and then spread a special mat. After all the work was finished, we began to bury them. At this time, friends and relatives waiting outside lined up one by one to see him for the last time. After paying tribute to the remains, we covered them with longevity wooden covers and burned incense wax in the mourning hall. At this time, the chef has prepared lunch and set eight tables in the yard. The guests have been busy all morning, and now they have lunch.

? After dinner, a memorial ceremony was held. According to the custom in my hometown, all the descendants of my father and all my nephews and nieces knelt in front of the mourning hall, making three big obeisances first, and then began to read the eulogy. The rest of my relatives and friends stood behind Xiao Lijing and Mr. Yin Yin, singing and reading. After reading the eulogy for more than an hour, the band began to sing funeral music. It was late, and the neighbors gradually dispersed. Our family stood by my father's spirit.

? At eight o'clock the next morning, relatives and friends came to help one after another around six o'clock. My father's grave was built in 20 13. At that time, I found the best local stonemason, bought the best local stones, made them for him according to the best specifications, and brought my father's country near my mother's grave together. Together with my mother's grave, I made a big double grave with stones and put a stone tablet in front of it.

? Around 7 o'clock, the helper has made all the preparations. According to Mr. Geography's instructions, he arranged for eight healthy people to move the coffin out of the mourning hall, and then lined up in order, each with a wreath in his hand. The guard of honor played a musical instrument and walked slowly to the cemetery. In front of the cemetery, the helper has dug up all the soil above, revealing the stones in the country. Mr. Geography burned paper money and put it in the country. After everything is ready, put the coffin into the porcelain, align it with the center line, put it in a correct position, cover the cover plate of the porcelain, then backfill the soil and lay the grave, thus burying Dad.

After the funeral, all my relatives and friends left. I stayed to clean up the scene and took the rest of the paper money and wreaths to the grave to burn. I put wax paper on the grave, then walked around the grave and said to my father's grave, Dad, you can rest in peace here. My son will leave here tomorrow. You're here to help us keep this family. We come back to see your old man every year. Say that finish, I will.

Looking back on these ten days, I accompanied my father through the last journey of his life. In my father's life, only these ten days can I really serve him. My father was 80 years old when he left our house for my sister's house in 200 1 year. At that time, my father was always strong, and he could do all kinds of housework at home, cooking, feeding pigs, feeding chickens, herding cattle and going down to the garden to get vegetables. In short, he has never been idle at home. He never did these jobs until he went to his sister's house in 17. However, over the past few years, he has been fooling around. He always helps sweep the floor, cook, clean the table, etc. Until this year, he can take care of himself. Only these last ten days will we serve him. In my father's 97-year life, this is the only thing that I really serve him as a son. We only served him for more than ten days, and he left us in such a hurry before he could honor his old man. Every time I think about this, I feel very sad, and tears can't help but fall, but it's too late by then.

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Note: "Guo" is a dialect in our hometown, which means a rectangular stone pit made of slate. After the coffin is put in, the stone pit where the coffin is placed underground is called Guo.

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Written on June 26th, 20 17.