With all due respect, you have to be tougher than a bully.

Hysteria and crying and complaining are not the solution to the problem. A cold and determined you will be the nightmare of all bullies.

When I was a graduate student, my tutor told me that engineering students don't have to study and deduce any formulas, but science students help us study. What we need to do is to accurately judge what formulas are needed under what circumstances, and then substitute them into the formulas to solve practical problems.

But in the face of bullying, no one summed up the formula. So more bullies are unscrupulous, and most victims are silent. Today I tried to summarize a handbook to deal with bullying.

When one day, the person standing opposite you ignores your will and does something offensive and offensive to you, please think of this article immediately. Every article in it is very practical.

After being infringed, the two most urgent things are to prevent the damage from expanding, and to fix the evidence and do a good job in the burden of proof. The injuries that continue to expand include physical injuries and mental injuries (such as mental injuries caused by the fermentation of public opinion).

Fixed evidence, the general way is to call the police directly at the first scene +0 10, and then hand it over to the police for handling. Don't even think about rape and indecency. You must call the police. Attempted rape is less than three years, and rape is more than three years and less than ten years.

Of course, from a politically correct point of view, as long as it is illegal, it is necessary to call the police at the first time. But with all due respect, in some cases, calling the police directly may not be the best choice for the victims, but it is indeed a helpless move.

What is the most practical appeal for the victim personally? One is to get compensation, and the other is to make the other person afraid and never dare to hurt you again. If you resort to the law, it is nothing more than intentional injury or rape (attempted rape, indecency) in two directions. The constitutive conditions of rape in China are strict, and it must be sexual intercourse against women's will. The court's interpretation of sexual intercourse is that "it is not appropriate to expand the interpretation of forced sexual intercourse with women without clear provisions in laws and judicial interpretations." That is, forcing sexual relations with women for the purpose of rape should be limited to contact with sexual organs. "That is to say, men don't count, women don't count, women rape men, KJ doesn't count, and damaging sexual organs in other ways doesn't count. For example, if you use a data cable to hurt the reproductive organs of the other party, it is not by rape, but by intentional injury.

And intentional injury, generally if it is only redness and bruises, may not even be minor injuries, criminal cases can not be reached, civil litigation will solve for you.

In this case, losing some money and detaining for a few days will hardly have any other substantial impact on the man. But the woman's life will be turned upside down, things will get bigger, and she may be hurt by the public opinion of people around her. When the man comes out, he may get back at you again.

Understand this, then please look down, the details mentioned below may be the key to your turnaround. Our appeal is that if you are not good to me, don't blame me for being unfair to you. The best way to deal with scum is to be thoughtful, calm and not soft-hearted.

one

Take pictures. After being infringed, try to photograph the parts and scenes where you have been infringed, and try to photograph the other side, even if only the back is better than nothing. Save the backup to a network disk. Android can download Baidu network disk and turn on the function of automatically backing up photo albums. Ios can open icould, so even if the other person is possessed and tries to smash your mobile phone, you will have a chance to exchange another copy from the network disk.

If your clothes are torn, keep them as evidence. If you have sex and the other person wears a condom, find out the condom with the other person's body fluid and keep it properly. If you don't wear a condom, find a hospital for evidence preservation as soon as possible.

In modern society, we pay attention to evidence in everything we do. In the future, whether it is legal proceedings or private settlement, this is first-hand evidence.

two

If he is still with you, pretend to look at the phone and actually turn on the recording function.

Try to stabilize each other's emotions, and then set the words of ta. For example, "Did you feel my struggle just now? I was reluctant, but you didn't stop me. " Ta, it doesn't matter how you answer it. What matters is that you have a very important evidence to prove that you were involuntary at the critical moment in the activity just now.

If we meet in court one day, private recordings are not recommended as direct evidence in court, but they can be used as evidence. The more solid and perfect your evidence chain is, the more active you will be.

three

Leave the scene safely as soon as possible.

Don't turn your face on the spot, let alone hit him on the head with ashtray glass, for fear that the other party will go crazy and cause you any abnormal secondary damage; Secondly, if you really hurt each other, it is not worthwhile to fall into intentional injury or excessive defense.

When those old bastards fight, they just shout and don't fight. Which one can't hold back the first hand, the other one lies down immediately. When the police come, they say dizziness, nausea, concussion, hemiplegia, stroke and cancer until you lose everything.

It's never too late for a gentleman to take revenge for ten years. Sometimes, preserving his effective strength is the key to winning a battle.

By the way, a harmonious society, try not to make an appointment. If you must make an appointment, you must know the real identity information of the other party before making an appointment. The most basic ones are name and ID number. Don't go to an appointment without knowing whether the other person is a human or a dog. Many people may be embarrassed to say it, but in the face of safety, you'd better put it aside first. If we are sincere, I believe he will understand. Even if there is any misunderstanding, we can explain it later, but there is something wrong with safety, which is irreparable!

Many people don't know this in advance, or follow him into the room without asking him to register his identity card. This is a big taboo. Often, the more advanced the hotel, the greater the possibility of this happening. One person goes to check in first, and then comes down to take another person up. If the other party secretly uses various excuses to induce you to open the room first, such as: "You open the room first, I'll give you the money later, then you send me the room number and I'll go up", then you should be on your guard.

The reason why "about" makes mistakes frequently is because people don't want to show their true colors, but they don't show their true colors, and the cost of committing crimes with each other is very small. It is strongly recommended that you reach an understanding as much as possible while indulging your desires, and take photos of each other's ID cards with your mobile phones. Everyone has a bottom in his heart and fears, so 99% of the dangers will be eliminated.

As the saying goes, know yourself and know yourself. The more detailed the real information you have about the other person, the more afraid he is of you, and the other person is afraid that one day you will make his information public on the Internet. In the Internet age, once the ID number is issued, it is basically the same as human flesh.

four

Injury identification. Find a reliable hospital and do injury identification. It is no exaggeration to say that as long as the other party does it, there will be some soft tissue contusions, whether it is rope marks or green buttocks. If the other person slaps you, and you report dizziness and nausea, then 100% can't run away with a slight concussion.

In other words, no matter whether it involves sex or not, any behavior of tj, as long as you do the injury identification, must be a minor injury.

Appraisal refers to the professional advice issued by a qualified third party, which will of course be accepted. Minor injuries may not necessarily cause substantial criminal punishment to the other party, but when you find the injury appraisal report issued by a regular third-class hospital, your attitude is here, and you don't want to just swallow it and let it go. No matter who the other party is, if you make up your mind, be meticulous and deal with this matter seriously, it will have a certain deterrent effect on the other party.

No matter how powerful and rogue the other party is, when encountering a hard nail on the road, the first choice must be to bypass it. You are weak and he is strong, and you are strong and he is weak.

If there are serious circumstances such as rape or indecency, the significance of this appraisal report is even more critical. With the pictures, objects and recorded evidence in front of you, the initiative is entirely in your hands. If you want him to go to jail, he will go to jail. You want him to lose money, he will lose money.

five

Write a tearful transcript. If you always rely on dictation, people will think that you are just talking, nothing, no matter whether you report the case or settle it privately, no one will pay attention to you. But if you write down the whole thing in black and white, and then press your own handprint and signature, that's another matter.

People are always afraid of those who have a strong sense of ceremony.

So you need a tearful report card. In the transcript, you can describe how nervous you are after this incident, how difficult the night is, what kind of nightmare that person is for you, and how much shadow it will have on your next life.

Be sure to write down the details clearly, but also emphasize that you are innocent and forced, and insist that what he did to you after entering the room is beyond your permission. Write down the time and place clearly, how he invaded and tortured you, how you resisted but failed, where you touched and hit, and whether there were any sexual organs involved. If involved, it may be indecency and rape, and the charges are different.

If your handwriting looks good, you can consider writing by hand. Most people think that good handwriting is a sign of a good education, which will greatly enhance people's concern and sympathy for you.

Next, find a tertiary psychiatric hospital for mental injury identification. Many victims of sexual violence have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The Sixth Hospital of Beijing Medical University and Anding Hospital are both famous top three psychiatric hospitals. Don't worry about what theme you want to see. After you went there, you went to the reception desk and said that you had recently suffered sexual violence and felt a little "stress disorder". They will recommend the right doctor for you immediately.

If the appraisal report comes out and your mental state is damaged, you can apply for compensation for mental damage. The maximum compensation for mental damage in Beijing is 80,000 yuan.

six

You have to scare ta. When fighting, pay attention to the fact that the soldiers and horses have not arrived, and the food and grass go first. At present, you have the upper hand in jurisprudence and evidence, and you also need to suppress each other psychologically.

Don't send all the above materials to Weibo, it's too hasty, which is similar to playing cards with two kings. The other party knows your card at once, and it is easy to be brought up by the other party when exposed to the public environment, leading to various reversals. Save yourself a hand, so that even if the other person fabricates a lie, you can throw a real hammer in a targeted way and catch him off guard.

You need to be cautious with the help of public opinion, which is a double-edged sword. If you can't do it well, you have to cut off a piece of your own meat.

If you know his work unit or home address, sort out all the above materials, mark them according to the importance of the context, and send them to him at regular intervals.

After he keeps receiving these things, his scalp will probably be a little numb, and he will ask you, what do you want?

Don't reply to his WeChat, and don't hysterically send things to his superiors or family. Put yourself in others' shoes. For him, the biggest fear is that people around him know what they are doing. If you poke it out now, he will break the jar and fall. If you are impulsive, it may be a relief for him.

Always put him on the verge of not telling the truth and learn to catch mice like a black cat. Killing is never the pleasure of hunting, as long as you keep catching and letting go. Wait until you have had enough fun before moving on to the next step.

seven

A last-minute showdown.

Endure for so long, finally it's time for a showdown. In the words of "The Story of Yan Xi Palace", deal with scum, be cruel or get out.

Bring all your materials and meet him face to face.

Don't be timid, don't run away, and behave better than him. Tell you responsibly that no matter how calm and indifferent the other person is, as long as he is willing to see you, his inner thought must be, "You are finally willing to come out and talk, which can torture me to death."

Put the material gently in front of him and say your requirements with a straight face. A calm attitude will make your success rate higher. No matter what your appeal is, at least make him feel too painful to do it again.

If he refuses, you have one last card. Sue him with all your evidence, find an awesome lawyer, insist that he raped you, insist that all the chat records between himself and him were conducted under the condition that he was not awake and had insufficient judgment, and ask not to be accepted as evidence; Asserting that although you agreed before, you didn't agree and resist when bullying was carried out.

If you collect the evidence I said, the more complete it is, the easier it is for him to be convicted. He deserves to be punished, so let him be punished.

Of course, in this way, your relatives and friends will know, and so will your parents and classmates. Your life may be turned upside down, which is the price you must pay to get out of this step.

I often hear a saying: nothing makes trouble, and I am not afraid of things when I encounter something.

Being fearless doesn't mean that you throw a bottle at his head when your brain is hot, but that you should learn to do things. Everyone is never shocked by social friction. Heroes have no more adrenaline than anyone else, but they know how to endure and deal with it.

When I say forbearance and coping methods, I don't mean to make you a bad person who touches porcelain, but that the world is too cruel to the vulnerable groups. Before the abused blood dried up here, the voice of slut humiliation there was already rampant. In the face of such a cruel world, in order not to be defeated and to live away from bullying, you have to become more fierce than the world.

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