Top ten jokes: diaosi catches up with banhua. Excuse me, how did you get the plate flower?

Selected Top Ten Jokes of the Day 1: A man in my dormitory was forced to soak in class flowers. He was surprised and asked for advice. "Excuse me, how did you get the class flower?" "I don't know. I told her, and she said she wouldn't pee to take care of herself. I was peeing, and she took my hand. "

Teacher: "Do you think it is wrong for the teacher to punish you?"

Student: "It's just wrong. I did what you said. How can it be wrong! " "

Teacher: "How did I teach you?"

Student: "You taught us to be like wolves and treat them as totems ..."

Teacher: "Shut up, you pervert, I didn't teach you to flirt with female classmates!" " "

Top Ten Jokes of the Day 3: Spiders are getting married to bees. The spider asked his mother, "Why should I marry a bee?" Mother Spider said, "The bee is a bit nagging, but at least she is a stewardess." The spider said, "I prefer Miss Mosquito." Mother spider said, "don't mention the little nurse." Last time my mother was sick and gave her an injection, she gave her edema. "

Top Ten Jokes of the Day 4: Go to the night market with your girlfriend. She took a fancy to a small thing on the stall. The boss wants 30, and his girlfriend asks, "Can you make it cheaper?"

The boss didn't agree, and his girlfriend bargained to 20. "I didn't bring much money for a walk, so it was 20."

The boss was about to agree when I added, "I still have money here."

My girlfriend snapped and turned away, so angry that she didn't buy anything.

Hehe, a slap in the face is 20 yuan, worth it!

Five: I went to work by bus. A thief stole my wallet. I found him and caught him ... He said to me in surprise: Big Brother, this reaction ... is really amazing! Awesome! Me: Oh, my God, your sister, my pants bag is leaking. I didn't wear long pants today. You didn't say anything with tweezers and caught my leg hair.

Ten jokes of the day 6: At noon every day, I sit with Tingting and her girls, and they choose me if they don't eat meat.

When I was eating, I received a message from WeChat. When I opened it, it was my uncle looking for me. My uncle never types and always chats with me by voice.

I opened WeChat ~ ~ Uncle's voice: Dabao, how is your hemorrhoid now? Is there blood when defecating? It's getting colder and colder.

Ten jokes 7: A buddy went to a hotel to date a female netizen at night, and they were inseparable after turning off the lights. The buddy touched the clothes of the female netizen and said, "Honey, your clothes are furry, aren't they mink?" Take it off! "

Female netizen: "I have taken off my clothes!"

That guy plopped out of bed. . .

Top Ten Jokes of Daily Selection 8: Now the floors are hoisted by cranes, and people used to be asked to carry them up; I remember that I built a kitchen at home and invited several people to lift the floor. I also helped to lift it. I've lifted a few pieces. When I'm tired, let's have a rest, have a cigarette and drink some water.

When I lifted it again, my neighbor's sister-in-law pulled me and said, big brother, you don't have to lift it. Sister-in-law will carry it for you. Your brother has been out for several months, and there is no place for him.

I am1111

9: My girlfriend went downstairs and got a courier. She broke up with me as soon as she got back: "You don't love me at all!" " "

I looked blank: "Isn't it genuine? Did you buy the wrong brand again? "

The girlfriend said with a full face of resentment: "The courier found that my nails changed color, but you didn't!"

Top Ten Jokes of the Day 10: Once upon a time, there was a rich man. Before he died, he said to his two sons, you two go to chop wood and see who cuts more and faster.

Early in the morning, the eldest son went up the mountain with a knife to cut wood, and the second son sharpened his knife and left.

In the evening, the second son cut the most.

The rich man saw it and said to his two sons, give the property to the boss, because the second one is so capable anyway.