A gaunt face, a face of the old society.

1, love is just pulling a beautiful calf when you are lonely.

If you go first, don't blame me for turning my back on you.

If I want to get ahead, I can't take the right path!

4. Faced with high oil prices, high housing prices and difficulties in making friends, the house is the lowest consumption level.

5. I always strive for a single sister; I never give up married women.

6. Many people think they are thinking when rearranging their prejudices.

7. I stayed in a nervous crowd for a long time and found myself normal.

8. The secret of staying young is to have a restless heart.

9. The road to success is always under construction.

10, some people make you feel bad seriously, and some people owe you a toothache!

1 1. One week before the exam, I think: strive for the first place, the week before: just work hard, and after the exam: focus on participation.

12. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.

13. If you want to pick the moon, please look at your height first.

14, love is like a joke, it kills others and hurts itself.

15. When I was a child, I liked to play hide and seek. I went home when all my friends were hiding.

16, tell me, do you want to die or not?

17, real force, dare to face a face without thickness.

18, the word "life" made my brain twitch and my spinal cord twitch for decades. Never got to the point.

19, spending money is as simple as taking a shit, and making money is as difficult as eating shit.

20, embarrassed face, looking at the old society.

2 1, people's sadness is not inferior to dogs, but they think they are much better than dogs!

22. When people start to say that you are crazy, you are not far from success.

23. The biggest revenge for you is to live happier than you.

24. Everyone says I'm fat! In fact, I am thin!

26. Take your hand and walk into the coffin.

27. The teacher said after class: What else do you not understand? I stretched myself and said, what class does the teacher have this time?

28. I shook my head after breaking up and my wig was thrown out.

29. You are cheap, promising and slutty.

We are all farsighted, which blurs our recent happiness.

The manager spat at me with a smile.

On the first day of moving to a new rental house, the landlord was an old couple. At about four or five in the morning, I heard the old couple get up in a daze. When I woke up from another sleep, I vaguely heard the old couple talking ... Grandpa said to his aunt, "Keep your voice down, don't wake the new boy!" " "Aunt complained," young people like to sleep late. It's past eight, and they haven't got up yet! Are you still protecting it? ！” Grandpa: "Hey! Don't sleep late at this time. Old, I can't sleep if I want to! "What a lovely old man! ! ! ..... "This is why you are late for sleeping in! "The manager smiled and spit on my face. ...

There is a faucet leaking in the toilet. Originally posted a piece of paper: "live, don't touch!" " "I tried it with a pencil and charged it. I went back to the office and printed one: "Can I pee here? I can! "I started hearing screams in the afternoon, and the screams were still the same the next day.

Pick up my wife from work at night and go to eat supper. After dinner, my wife said, go and pay. Me: I have no money with me. My wife silently took out her wallet and prepared to pay, but she was unwilling to ask: Is there really no money? I have to tell the truth: I only have 20 yuan with me. Then I took out two crumpled ten dollars from my pocket and asked my wife if she had change for two dollars. A woman in black next to me has been staring at me with a pout. I guess she has despised me 800 times in her heart: you don't deserve a girl. . .

The howling dog waved everywhere again, and Erlang grabbed it and came back to beat it. Whistling dog turned and moved out a mirror and put it in front of Erlang God. Erlang smiled at himself in the mirror and let it go. ...

Go home with your wife at night, Lu Yu three gangsters. The gangster said to leave one of the two, and I pushed my wife away and said to leave me! After his wife left, the gangster took off his mask and said, it's really hard to find you to play mahjong. . .

Kindergarten teacher. . . Shota, 2 years old, is a new classmate who has just arrived in class. I haven't adapted to the life in the garden, crying every day! The teacher looked distressed and funny! He carries a small schoolbag everywhere, with a bottle of water in his left hand and a wet tissue in his right! All kinds of pear blossoms bring tears, so you can wipe them while crying! Like a wronged kannika nimtragol! Teachers are not good at all kinds of coaxing! I walked over with my mobile phone and said calmly, come on, cry hard! I'll film it and put it online! Let everyone see Jessica Hester Hsuan crying! Hearing this, Xuanbao shed tears! Grab it! Ha ha! Feelings, you also know the power of the Internet!

My girlfriend is not big, only 1.6 meters tall, but she likes to cover with a big quilt. I was sick that day, lying in bed, pulling the corner of the quilt and coquetry: if only the quilt were so big that it would be pulled by the corner forever! Grandpa, why don't we buy a big house, a big bed and a big quilt? This embarrassed me, but I had a brainwave: actually, it's not that much trouble, just buy a round quilt …

During the holiday, the hotel worked as a waiter. Two foreigners ordered two bottles of beer. When I sent them to the door, I found that I forgot to take the bottle opener. Because the floor was too high to reach, I bit off the lid with my teeth and put it back on. When you go in, ask the foreigner if it is open. The foreigner said yes. I held a bottle in one hand and flicked it with my thumb ... the lid flew away. The foreigner exclaimed: China Kung Fu!

The first time I saw a dog giving birth. I am very excited. I went to see it for a while. Why didn't I give birth to one all morning? It's still big. It's puzzling. I got scissors, and I'm going to do it to the dog. My mother saw it and shouted, "What are you doing?" "This dog must have had a hard life. I want to help it. "

Travel with your best friends and rest under the tree when you are tired. Suddenly, a few drops of bird droppings fell on my face. Before I knew it, my best friend wiped it evenly for me and said, your sunscreen hasn't been wiped evenly yet. ...

When you can't sleep alone in bed, you might as well calm down and think about it: in the invisible corner of your home, thousands of cockroach eggs are hatching. After the lights are turned off, cockroaches, spiders, centipedes and flies will accompany you in the dark, and sometimes they will naughty climb on your face and get into your ears and mouth to make out with you. There are thousands of mites in the quilt hugging you and giving you warmth. So you will never be alone, cheer up!

Tears can't wash away a sad _ sad word.

The moment the fireworks disappeared, happiness suddenly came, and I had nothing.

The lingering desolation on my face buried my long-lost youth

That incomplete song can't be sung without you.

Listening to your favorite song, you shed the least rare tears.

It is only because of your oath that I have the courage to stick to the end.

Your smile is my pride in facing memories!

Blinking tears are the expectation of happiness.

The cicada singing in midsummer tells the tragedy of never giving up!

Those heartbreaking meetings, can we not meet again?

No matter how brilliant the fireworks are, they can't stand the passage of time.

You told me the biggest lie. Maybe I'm the only one who loves you.

Tears cannot wash away a sad face.

Whose world was pale at the beginning was your heart.

Not a person means loneliness, not a group of people means happiness.

You know, the moment you turn around, we can't have if.

I want you to know that I can live well without you.

Nothing lasts longer than forgetting, and nothing hurts more than forgetting.

If you promise me a promise, I will live and die together.

No matter how many memories, they are just dust in my heart!

I stood at the intersection, watching my happiness fall asleep in the arms of others.

Memories of two people, lingering in hell!

Sadness doesn't talk, he will only sing a play without an ending!

Endless parting, unclear thoughts.

I didn't have the courage to give up on you. I finally laughed at myself for what I deserved.

Who made a humble promise? In the end, I lost everything.

Love is so ugly.

Finally, I can't even remember your face.

I didn't understand until I loved you. The feeling of being hurt always makes people so helpless.

I can't forget your kindness or your broken heart.

I spent all my thoughts on you, but in the end you took everything from me.

If life is like the first time, if love is like the beginning.

If you shed tears, the sun must have set in the west.

Doubt is always fatal to feelings, but we all know this truth, but we still doubt it.

It's not me who is crying for you, it's my eyes.

Please give me up and believe that I will not be persistent.

Embarrassed, a face of stupid B, and let out a scream.

1, I just went to breakfast and met a girl I've always admired. Eat it. I said, beauty, I forgot my money today. Can you lend me ten dollars and I'll pay you back this afternoon. My sister is going to rummage through her bag, and I'm going to prepare my lines and ask for my phone number. . .

The boss said: nothing, let's give it together next time!

Boss, do you think there will be another time?

The weather has changed these two days, so I'm going to wear thick clothes. My friend said, don't be afraid when you have a cold. The more you are afraid, the colder it will be. Beat it. I caught a cold the next day after listening to his words.

My cousin is ill in hospital. Dally with the little nurse: Your nurse's clothes are not as beautiful as those on TV.

The little nurse said: You are looking at Japan!

4, eating in a restaurant, in order to serve quickly, it took a while to say: Why haven't you served yet, I don't want it if you don't serve.

The waiter pressed the order twice and said, OK, I have already returned it to you.

Me. . .

Colleague electrician always has a toothache in his fifties, so he can't sleep at night. He drank a catty of wine that night and pulled it out with electrician's pliers. . .

I was bleeding, and then I fell asleep after drinking too much.

As a result, when I woke up the next day, why did my teeth still hurt?

I looked in the mirror and screamed: Ah! Not right!