What kind of thoughts and feelings does Mo Yan’s selling cabbage express?

The genre of Mo Yan's "Selling Cabbage" is narrative.

For a wealthy family, a cabbage is just a decoration on the dinner table and cannot serve as a banquet, but for children from poor families, it may be the whole meaning of the New Year. This article tells the story of the author's experience when he was selling cabbage with his mother when he was a child, because he overcalculated other people's money and the cabbage failed to be sold. Although the children are very eager to eat delicious cabbage dumplings in the New Year, their poor life makes this small hope come to nothing. But the memory of childhood may spur the author for a lifetime.

In the article, we experience the sorrow and sorrow of life together with the author. However, when people live a life of plenty, they often forget the poverty they once had. For example, after someone came out of a star-rated hotel after eating and drinking, they saw the poor beggars on the roadside. Not only did they not help them, they even insulted and beat them. These people have forgotten that they were also born in poverty. Another example is that students at school only choose the dishes they like when eating, and throw all the dishes they don't like into the swill bucket. They have all forgotten the poem "Compassion for the Farmers"; they have forgotten that the high expenses they paid in school were all their parents' hard-earned money.

It is a story about the author when he was 12 years old, and expresses the theme of integrity. The article describes the hardships and sorrows of farmers' life in special times, but the strong backbone has supported generation after generation. "This is the first time I have seen my strong mother shed tears. Thinking about it to this day, my heart is still heavy." My mother's noble personality has influenced my life, making "me" still unforgettable to this day.

The author's true emotions:

Reluctant love: From the moment the seed was sown, the little cabbage formed an incomprehensible relationship with the author. Its weakness made the ignorant author apply a lot of fertilizer to it. Fortunately, it survived under the rescue of its mother. It is like the author watching a child grow up. The author said: "I am familiar with this cabbage as I am familiar with one of my own fingers." Now, it will become a delicacy on other people's tables. All expectations came to naught at this moment. Disappointment, confusion, doubt, disbelief... The author is full of memories, love and reluctance about it.

Self-blame: The biting cold made the author drop the cabbage to the ground. Whether accidentally or intentionally, this should not be done. "My mother slapped me on the head. I knew I was in big trouble. I stood by the basket, crying and said: 'I didn't mean it, I really didn't mean it...'" Looking at my mother's appearance due to overwork, The author could only shed tears as he lived a difficult life and could no longer straighten his back. I believe everyone can understand "my" self-blame.

Remorse: This regret makes "I" still feel painful when I think about it. The pak choi, who was originally a favorite, was criticized; the pak choi, which was already thin, was peeled and peeled; the mother, who was honest and kind, was doubted. This is all done by an old lady who buys groceries. The fire of anger in "my" heart quietly ignited. If you are like this, why should I be honest? Coupled with the poverty of her life, she was given an extra dime when calculating money. Unexpectedly, this matter was exposed, and my mother cried this time. My mother's integrity was destroyed by "I", she felt completely sad, and "I" felt infinite regret in my heart.