Why can it be invincible?

In the process of interpersonal communication, as long as it doesn't involve principled issues, we can be invincible in complex interpersonal relationships by adjusting our words and deeds with the changes of time and place according to the different characteristics of the object.

In the process of interpersonal communication, as long as it does not involve principled issues, if we can adjust our words and deeds according to the different characteristics of the environment and objects and the changes of time and place, as a "chameleon", we can be invincible in complex interpersonal relationships.

When Chen Shuping was the magistrate of Jiangxia in the late Qing Dynasty, Minister Zhang Zhidong was the governor of Hubei. Zhang Zhidong and Fu Jixun don't get along very well. One day, a banquet was held in the Yellow Crane Tower to entertain Zhang, Tan and others.

During the dinner, we talked about the width of the river. Tan Jixun said it was five miles and three points, and Zhang Zhidong deliberately said it was seven miles and three points. The two sides are at daggers drawn, and neither of them will lose face.

Chen Shuping knew they were using this topic, but he didn't dare to offend any of them. what should he do ？ He thought for a moment and said seriously, "There is nothing wrong with both adults. When the river rises, it is seven miles and three points wide, and when it recedes, it is five miles and three points wide. " It turns out that Zhang and Tan are just talking nonsense for quarreling. Just when they thought the debate was too intense to stand down, they ended the debate after listening to Chen Shuping's interesting circus and clapped their hands and laughed with everyone.

Aristotle believes that people should have four virtues: prudence, justice, courage and restraint. Among them, justice and courage conform to the traditional model; However, the other two virtues, prudence and restraint, refer to the art of dealing with problems flexibly and evenly.

Li Zhi, Tang Gaozong, wanted to establish Wu Zetian as the queen, but was opposed by many senior officials such as Sun Chang Wuji and Chu Suiliang. When Li Zhi asked Qin Li, who was also an imperial envoy, Qin Li was puzzled: it was impossible to oppose the emperor, but he publicly expressed his approval and was afraid of other ministers' comments, so he said, "This is a matter for your majesty's family, so why ask outsiders again!"

This answer is really clever, which not only obeys the emperor's meaning, but also makes other ministers speechless. So later, Sun Chang Wuji and Chu Suiliang were persecuted, and only Qin Li's official career was always smooth.

Aristotle especially pointed out that doing the right thing should not be rash, and too much courage is actually reckless. Under special circumstances, everyone knows right and wrong. In this case, we should be cautious and find the best combination of brave behavior and cautious restraint. This is the way to be a man.

For example, Gong Yu, a scholar of the Han Dynasty, and Liu Shuang, the Emperor of the Han Dynasty, both asked him about state affairs after he came to power. At this time, the biggest problem in the imperial court was the autocratic power of consorts and eunuchs. It was difficult for honest ministers to gain a foothold in the imperial court, but Gong Yu said nothing about it. Only one suggestion was made to the emperor: please be frugal.

Emperor Han Yuan was very frugal. Many economy measures had been put into practice long before Gong Yu put forward his proposal. Gong Yu just repeated the practice of the emperor, and the Emperor of the Han and Yuan Dynasties was naturally willing to accept it. Therefore, it has won a good reputation for being trainable.

Gong Yu knew that Emperor Hanyuan didn't really want to "change owners", but wanted the reputation of "changing owners". If you don't know how to put forward sharp opinions, it will not only embarrass the emperor, but also attract the envy of the dignitaries. Sooner or later, the emperor will find him out and become a scapegoat and victim of political struggle.

The way of life can be divided into "straight" and "curved". Straight, that is, straight, naturally revealing, refusing to bow to reality; Song is about strategy, improvisation for the purpose, and taking part in accidental amusement. Guo Moruo once said to Chen Mingyuan, "There are two ways to be a man, one is to take part in accidental amusement, and then you will succeed soon. The other is called natural expression, which is also unlucky and even destroyed. "

The hotel owner is going to find a deputy general manager among the three existing department managers.

The boss asked three department managers, "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" The first one replied without thinking, "The chicken came first." The second man confidently replied, "Eggs come first." The third person seriously replied: "the guest orders the chicken first, and then there is the chicken first;" Guests order eggs first, and eggs come first. "

The boss smiled with satisfaction, and he decided to promote the third department manager to the deputy general manager of this hotel.

Note that improvisation does not encourage everyone to reverse black and white, but at some point, in the face of some people, some words can not be said directly, but only insincerely or obliquely.

Many people in life are "outspoken", "single-minded", "tearing down the south wall and not looking back" and "ten cows can't be pulled back". Such a person should know the way of contingency. Only by having his own resources can he stand on the world and win the space to make a difference.