When my cousin came back,

When my cousin sent me a message telling me that I was coming back, I was watching TV and eating melon seeds in the dormitory. The news really caught people off guard. Although she posted "Home is the warmest place" in her circle of friends several times, people who know the truth know what her departure is-unbearable family poverty and unbearable family scolding.

I thought I had to find her. I must have a stable job and some savings. During a short holiday, I went to Shanghai to see her. At that time, I was comfortable with her.

Maybe I left her a message in the middle of the night, "May she walk for half her life and the teenager return". She only told me the news of "coming back" and repeatedly told me not to tell my family.

Then I said, I'll pick you up. It happened that the night you came back was Friday.

She said, well, by the way, my boyfriend and I are back.

I have always been quiet and introverted, and I am even less good at communication after I was almost driven crazy by depression. The closer I get, the less I can say. So the conversation language that heralds the reunion is dry, and many words are brushed in my mind, but half of them are "oh-oh" and "uh-huh".

In fact, I have envy that my cousin dare not say. I envy her courage to leave, and I envy her unrestrained travel. Compared with the promising 2 1 1, who dared to relax a little, her life was colorful. Similarly, at the age of 20, I am not even ambiguous, and I am both curious and afraid of the creature "boyfriend". In this way, I am also a wonderful flower.

It is true that I want to be a girl like my cousin once in a while. They say they dream at night, so they have a dream at night. In my dream, I am my cousin who has never gone to Shanghai alone-round face, small eyes, a collapsed nose and a medium-sized mouth. This is definitely not a good-looking appearance, but my cousin has a silly temper. Of course, it's cute now. Early in the morning, I was awakened by the sound of opening the door before I could see whether my cousin was wearing an orange down jacket or not.

I know she has a boyfriend, Han nationality, who seems to be from Henan and Jiangsu. Of course, this is my subjective judgment from the accent.

This is a trouble, even if my cousin says that if the object is not her boyfriend, she will not get married again; Even if that boy is willing to follow the Hui nationality for my cousin, their marriage is like Xuanzang's 81-year-old experience.

After all, my cousin is divorced and still a Hui girl.

I have always felt that Hui is a magical nation-children are born with faith, and have been repeatedly taught "Never Do" since they are sensible, but few people tell their children why they can't, and few people clearly tell them what faith is.

As a result, our beliefs are weaker from generation to generation, and even most people begin to resent their "uniqueness" when they are teenagers. We were bound since childhood, but we didn't know until the machete fell.

Cousin dropped out of school early and got married early. At the age of 20, she completed a series of things such as marriage, having children, divorce and running away. I am five or six years younger than her. I only did two things: go to school and grow up. But we clearly know the shackles on our bodies and the machetes on our heads.

So she said she would come back, and I can't wait to see her.

Friday came soon. When we met successfully, I grabbed the baked squid and ear potatoes I bought for them. I have to say that even though my cousin has been wandering in Shanghai for two years, she is still not very beautiful. I'm afraid I can't fix the photos in my space and circle of friends in half an hour.

Later, I learned that although my cousin was bent on making money and spending money, it had little effect on my promotion.

It's hard to find a hotel where I live. It is difficult for my cousin to find such a good hotel. I don't have to pay all the expenses. After all, I am still a student who talks big and asks for money.

When I went back, I bought some mala Tang and sat together to chat. When she looked down, I said your eyes ... I didn't finish, I just felt a little uncomfortable. I always feel something is wrong. Cousin smiled and said that she had cut her double eyelids. Ask me with a wink, will you?

Nodded, I said good-looking. What else is it, that her eyelids are a little swollen, and the effect of double eyelids is not obvious?

I almost forgot what I talked about that night. I only remember talking about each other's feelings and blessings in general, and looking forward to a better future a little bit. I said goodbye the next day and went back everywhere. They went home to fight for happiness, and I went back to school to study hard.

However, I received WeChat in two or three days, saying that I will come out to see you when I am free tomorrow.

Chatting intermittently, I got the news that my uncle, my cousin's father, asked them to take out 80 thousand to buy a house in the county and get married.

Cousin said that they ran out in a hurry while no one was at home.

He said they wanted to sell their kidneys.

I didn't think it was easy, so I went to the appointment. It's still a small hotel that is hard to find. Two people spread out on the bed in the standard room. Cousin said, you are a college student, so it's good to have a small brain. Do something for us.

I'm a little confused. If I have any way to make a living, to be honest, I won't leave it to others. I will act early and then sit at home and count the money. It's rare for my cousin to ask, so I just pulled a few ways.

I am a student. I rely on my father to eat, drink, live and travel, and occasionally I don't earn anything from part-time work. Cousin counted her boyfriend and worked hard in Shanghai for two years. I thought it would be better.

But the truth is, maybe they are not as worried as I am. Because they don't have any savings. Therefore, after uncle asked to buy a house and get married again, he found a good time to slip away and had the plan to sell his kidney.

I tried to swallow the "psycho" on my lips and told them not to get married yet, to complete the initial accumulation of capital first, and then to find a serious business to earn some money.

I went to the hospital to visit the patient that day and talked about a few small-cost businesses at the foot of the bed. After that, I looked at my cousin's face and couldn't speak, so I said it was better to work first, save some money and take your time.

Cousin is still very worried. I suddenly feel that she is just losing her temper in the years after she left.

Cousin said that my dad just doesn't like him (pouting at my boyfriend) and just doesn't want us to get married.

I don't think so.

Uncle doesn't necessarily need them to pay much. This requirement is made because there is no hope of living in it. So I said, you show your skill and sincerity, and uncle will help you.

Cousin laughed, come on!

Cousins and siblings don't trust their fathers because their uncles are addicted to gambling. They don't believe that a father who always loses his family when he is most needed in childhood will repent and make progress in middle age.

She said that she envied me very much, didn't drop out of school, and had a down-to-earth father, one son and one daughter were college students. So I didn't say that I envy her, too. I can do what I want instead of living from one end to the other. I should say, I envy her.

Uncle is actually very good, with a gentle temper, good handwriting and strong ability, but he can't save money, and he has a wife who can't stand being coaxed, so neither of them can save money. My aunt grew up in bitter days, and my mother was far away from her childhood, so she was unfamiliar with raising children. The two stumbled and dragged their three children, making them "miserable", so the three children asked to drop out of school and travel.

Cousin never thinks that it is wrong for her not to have a deposit, but that her uncle is too much. Poor aunt. The relationship between father and daughter is very bad, and a few words of advice from others have become uncle's lobbyists.

I thought they should find a job next and fight for the future.

As a result, I received a message a few days ago, and my cousin said, congratulations, we broke up.

I paused before asking what was wrong. She said she didn't know, and her boyfriend said she wouldn't contact in the future.

I won't comfort anyone, I can only tell her that it will get better and better. Her boyfriend, I don't even remember his name. Because I can't see hope in them. They are all around twenty-five, but they can't see the vitality of young people.

It has been almost three months, and my cousin once again "ran away from home", but this time she was reported and found a job. I mentioned this when I was chatting with my brother. My brother asked my cousin what job he was looking for.

I shrugged and said catering, waiters and so on.

That's the only way. My cousin dropped out of junior high school and was considered "semi-illiterate". She has no skills and can only do this kind of work. But it is obvious that many people work step by step from waiters, but my cousin can't stand the slightest injustice and often resigns. Year after year, Cary's money has not increased, but the P-chart technology has made obvious progress.

After a silence for a while, my brother suddenly said that he actually hated this kind of photo.

Before and after graduation, my brother suddenly fell in love with photography. He just found a job in wedding photography and insisted on being recalled by his parents for half a year, but his love for photography only increased. I was too shocked to comment easily. Yu Guang saw his brother brushing his circle of friends. I see.

-Cousin can't say that she is not good-looking, she is usually handsome, but the photos of her circle of friends are really beautiful!

So I said I didn't like it either. I know what I look like. You can't say I'm ugly or beautiful. So I never like taking pictures. Even after all kinds of beauty cameras appeared, I always thought it was self-deception. If a person can't even accept his true self, how can he become a better self? Of course, the latter words will bypass.

Cousin's photo is still a commonly used speech and dynamic picture. Occasionally, I will order a praise, and occasionally I will silently cancel the praise.

I am recognized as a clever representative in my family, and my cousin is a rebellious child. We are the only two girls in this generation except my uncle's two children who go to kindergarten. There are two extremes in life.

At that time, when I saw my cousin, I dared to do it, and I loved and hated it. It turned out to be an escape. Comfort yourself with "don't want to" and completely ignore your "can't".

I think "seeing from one end to the other" life is full of surprises and dangers. There is still a difference between a prodigal son and a down-and-out son. One is to actively pursue dreams and grow all the way, and the other is to be forced to leave all the way. Or come here, I am rebellious-I am willing to use the resources around me to change the environment to the maximum extent, and then achieve my goals bit by bit.

Later, I thought about it. At that time, I couldn't wait to see what my cousin looked like after she left. Do I have any expectations in my heart?

Yes. But I can't say that I want to see if she is doing well-a good life makes me boring after more than ten years of monotonous school life, while her bad life makes me uncomfortable, uncomfortable with the dust of a young woman and uncomfortable with the life I want to achieve.

My cousin's circle of friends is still old-fashioned, non-mainstream chicken soup, sad. I want to run away when I am at home, and I want to go home when I am outside. With a carefully selected selfie, it can be regarded as a beautiful scenery in the circle of friends. At that time, I silently crossed my cousin's circle of friends. Now I occasionally look at my brother helplessly, and then I like it.

She didn't define her own poetry and distance, just wanted to escape from the present. So I don't understand. Without a firm goal, you can't escape anywhere.

I am different. I am ambitious. I want money, fame and freedom.