Is your condition good enough for the other party? Don’t let “superiority complex” ruin your love

People who have a strong sense of superiority in love will always be abandoned first

Don’t use his love to tolerate your arrogance

1

My friend Xiaoan divorced her husband of more than three years on May Day.

They were originally a partnership in a restaurant, and came together because of similar interests.

Xiaoan’s appearance can be said to be goddess-level, and her family background is also very good.

In comparison, her ex-husband Mr. Su was much inferior, and his family background was relatively mediocre.

It is also because of this that when Xiao An is with Mr. Su, his posture is more arrogant and he has a strong sense of psychological superiority.

In addition, it was Mr. Su who was chasing her, which made her attitude get higher and higher. She basically got whatever she wanted.

Mr. Su has a gentle personality. Not only will he not argue with her about minor issues, he will also try his best to accommodate her in the small details of life.

After marriage, Xiao An concentrated on taking care of the housework at home, but Mr. Su would still take the initiative to help her share the burden when he returned home.

It stands to reason that such a man should be the husband candidate that many women dream of.

But perhaps because she was overly spoiled, or perhaps because her life was too dull, she became increasingly dissatisfied with Mr. Su and always felt that he had no masculinity at all.

The business of the restaurant has never improved, and he always thinks about his little hobby when he gets home from work, or puts on an apron to cook...

Once When she was chatting with me, she mentioned that she saw other husbands in her circle of friends taking their wives to play around, but she was keeping such a "househusband" at home. She was really angry, and then she grabbed this person. I had a big quarrel with Mr. Su.

After that, Xiao An's temper became worse and worse, and he often made quarrels over trivial matters, while Mr. Su's face became darker and darker.

One day when Mr. Su was cooking, she felt the vegetables were too salty as soon as she put them to her mouth.

After Mr. Su argued with her for a few words, she impulsively filed for divorce. Unexpectedly, he agreed and moved out on the same day.

She didn't take it seriously at first, thinking that Mr. Su would come back in two or three days at most to "please apologize". It wasn't until she received the divorce agreement that she realized that she had lost this marriage.

After the divorce, she often chatted with me.

It can be seen that unlike the initial anger, she has fallen into unextricable self-blame, and even has a slight depression.

I remember that a year ago, when she occasionally "complained" to me about Mr. Su's many shortcomings, I tried to persuade her:

"What you valued at the beginning was his gentleness and gentleness." Gu family, has it changed now that makes you so dissatisfied?"

She said: "I just want to inspire him and hope that he can become better. Our future is good."

Then I asked again:

"Then if your husband is always dissatisfied with you and always wants you to get better, can you accept it? ?”

Xiao An said disapprovingly:

“That’s not possible. If he was like this, how could I choose him in the first place?”

What did you see? Is the meaning coming?

In fact, Xiao An’s words contained a hint of superiority.

"If he was like this, how could I have chosen him in the first place?" The implication is:

"I am so good, there must be better choices, but because he can accommodate me, I I just reluctantly stayed with him."

These feelings of superiority stem from her background conditions and also from Mr. Su's accommodation of her.

But the result is: ignoring the other person's feelings, and at the same time easily belittling the other person's posture in love.

If you cannot learn to put yourself in someone else's shoes and think from their perspective, the emotional rift between two people will only get worse and eventually become out of control.

It is undoubtedly meaningless to seek superiority from your partner. Any happy and harmonious love (marriage) should be equal and respectful.

It’s okay to encourage each other, but please don’t belittle one another too much.

More praise, more appreciation, more encouragement is the best way to love.

2

Yanzi and her boyfriend were together when they first entered college. It has been six years since they fell in love.

It was he who accompanied her from her green years to the hurried social life.

Her boyfriend is barely considerate to her. He will call her when she is busy at work to remind her to eat on time, he will carefully prepare gifts for her during festivals, and he will give her all his salary.

The only bad thing is probably that he always suppresses Yanzi habitually.

Yanzi is a hotel lobby manager. He has to stand in high heels for seven or eight hours every day at work, and his heels often bleed.

She showed the wound to her boyfriend coquettishly, hoping for his comfort.

In the end, her boyfriend only glanced at it and said nonchalantly:

"Who made you wear high heels every day? You deserve to suffer!"

When Yanzi went down the stairs She accidentally sprained her foot and immediately called her boyfriend. The words she heard were:

"Don't you even look at the ground when you walk?"

Instead :

"How are you hurt? Does it hurt?"

Once upon a time, Yanzi naively thought that this suppressive way of getting along was just a spice for their love. It's over.

But in each of the heartbreaking moments, she realized how wrong she was.

This kind of suppression can actually make a hot heart die slowly and wear away all the tenderness and sweetness.

Many people always think that it is not easy for two people to be together in a relationship. They just have to endure and give in to some things. As a result, they retreat step by step to the edge of the cliff of love. If they are not careful, they will fall into love. Shattered to pieces.

Yanzi finally broke up with her boyfriend. Without any warning or fierce quarrel, she suddenly broke up.

But if you think about it carefully, it may be a sign.

When she had a conflict with a colleague in the company, he would say:

"You have to learn to control your temper and don't always be so willful."

Yanzi never seemed to hear a single bit of praise or appreciation from her boyfriend.

He is always suppressing her. Is this what he promised when he confessed that he would always be good to her?

Gradually, Yanzi no longer told her grievances to her boyfriend, nor did she want to communicate too much with her boyfriend.

They say that children who cry get candy. What if that person didn’t give you candy but gave you a slap in the face?

You won’t cry anymore, you will only let the tears flow back into your stomach.

Yanzi no longer fantasized about marrying him, and wanted to leave him at a certain moment more and more frequently.

She began to miss her previous life when she was single, and learned to browse Weibo to find jokes when she was unhappy. When she was wronged, she wrote a diary to vent it out. She became more and more silent, and became less and less dependent on her boyfriend. .

Finally, on a very ordinary afternoon, under another pressure from her boyfriend, she calmly broke up with her.

After packing his luggage, he left without looking back.

Perhaps many people will say that because couples have a close relationship and do not treat each other as outsiders, they can speak freely and do whatever they want.

But in fact, the simplest criterion for measuring a relationship is just one sentence:

"What do you need?!"

Falling in love is about being together and being able to change each other. Live better instead of absorbing negative energy every day.

The same thing, if you are cautious with strangers and have no inhibitions about your lover, then what use do I need from you?

Love is about style, and what love requires is equality, rather than suppressing your lover to achieve your sense of superiority in the relationship.

The only person beside you who can spend the rest of your life with you is this person, not your parents, and not your friends.

Then why do you suppress her and hurt her again and again for others? Let her be discouraged until she leaves?

Please remember that there is no way to fall in love in this world called suppression.

3

It is very common to have a sense of superiority in love.

The biggest reason why the sense of superiority exists is comparison.

You secretly compare yourself and your partner's family background, income, external conditions, personality differences, etc.

Produce a feeling of superiority to the other party in comparison.

When you think that your advantages are stronger and you can find a better partner, you will use this sense of superiority from time to time to "suppress" and "complain" until you anger the other person.

In relationships, everyone has self-esteem.

The reason why he dotes on you, accommodates you, and tolerates you is simply because he loves you, but you must not squander his love for you wantonly.

No one wants to be humble enough to love someone. No matter how noble you think you are, if you want to have a harmonious and intimate relationship, you must get along with each other on the basis of equality and mutual trust.

Never wait until you lose something to appreciate it.

Because relationships are also about the changing of fortunes. If you lose someone who loves you all the time, you will definitely pay it back to another person bit by bit next time.

Your arrogance and arrogance can be tolerated by others because others love you.

If one day he stops loving you, you will be nothing.

You must know that "excellence" is a state, not a mentality.

You have a higher education than the other person, your annual salary is more than the other person, your family background is strong, you are young and beautiful...

These are not the conditions for you to be confident in love. .

The true innate sense of superiority should be your way of dealing with others, your actions, or your conversation that makes others feel like spring breeze.

Furthermore, love should be appreciation, tolerance, respect, equality, not conditional exchange...

The love given by God comes in many forms, as if It’s like a rain of red envelopes, but can you ensure that you will be lucky every time?

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