How to arrange for those who return to China after marriage?

According to the wedding custom and etiquette in China, after three days of marriage, the bride will go home with the groom with many gifts, which is also called "going home in three days".

This is a kind of etiquette in China. The bride's parents attach great importance to the etiquette of returning home for three days, which is an important event for the bride's whole family. Therefore, when the bride returns to China for three days, she should prepare gifts and try to leave a good impression on her father-in-law.

The gift should be prepared in advance. Gifts must be something that the bride's parents like. Return the gift in fashion. To return to your parents' home, you must arrive at your parents' home between 10. The bride and groom should greet the elderly first, the groom should be renamed as parents, and show kindness and enthusiasm to relatives, friends and neighbors.

When the whole family has dinner, the bride and groom should sit aside and raise their glasses to thank everyone for their wishes for their wedding. Don't rush home after dinner, talk to your parents for a while or have some entertainment with your family. Go home before sunset around 4 pm and invite the elderly and brothers and sisters to your home.

2. Detailed explanation of the wedding banquet process. What to wear, what to wear is exquisite.

(1) preliminary preparation

10:30, the sound engineer chooses his own tracks to create a live atmosphere. 10:50, the manager arranged a welcome meeting. Parents wear corsage, newlyweds wear flowers, and important guests wear VIP flowers. 1 1: 16, the banquet ceremony officially began. (Determine the final start time according to the presence of guests. )

(2) Opening remarks

1。 Nine bells (accompanied by a live band)

Lighting requirements: when the first bell rings, the field lights will go out one after another, the computer lights will flash, and there will be some smoke and bubbles.

2。 When the bell rings, the electro-acoustic belt will be strong. Music style: the music suitable for male hosts is different from that of parents and newcomers, and the lights are on one by one.

Moderator: Take the red carpet from the audience to the center of the stage. (Lighting requirements: a beam of chasing light is fixed; Band requirements: When the host introduces himself, beautiful background music will be played. )

(iii) Commencement of ceremony

1, preface

After a brief self-introduction, the host said, "Today is a good day. The building in xx is decorated with lanterns and colorful decorations, beaming with joy. Dear friends and guests, give up Sunday's entertainment and relaxation time and attend the X family's return banquet: husband xx and daughter xx. First of all, please allow me to express (the most) warm welcome and (the most) heartfelt thanks to you on behalf of X House and X's parents! ! Now I declare: X's husband xxx and daughter xxx come back to the house to hold a banquet to thank the official start! ! (Music begins)

2. Introduce the couple and their parents

First of all: Let me introduce the guests who participated in our activities today, that is, xxxx. Ok, let's welcome Mr. and Mrs. xx across the red carpet with warm applause (music begins). B. Let's welcome the in-laws of xx Mansion with warm applause, as well as the father-in-law and mother-in-law from Taiyuan, Shanxi. (Music begins)

3. The couple's parents' speech

Next, let's welcome today's two protagonists-the groom: xxx and the bride: xxx with the warmest applause. (Music begins). On xx, xx, xx held a grand wedding ceremony with xxx. Today, two newlyweds stood on the rostrum with their parents, and planned this party to show their concern and love for Mr. Chen Kai's family for many years. First of all, please give a speech by Mr. Chen Kai, the grandfather of Mount Tai. Please invite Mr. Xi Gonggong from xx (address) to give a speech.

Step 4 make a wish.

Please stand in front of the wishing tree and extend my best wishes to both parents and all the elders and friends who have cared for and supported them. Please stand in front of the wishing ball and bless yourself. All the lights are out, only the wishing ball is flashing, and only the new person is cut after chasing the light. Please press the "hand ink mud" symbolizing the eternity of love.

5. * * * Have lunch

Both parents were invited to take the stage and bow to all the guests with the new couple. One bow, then one bow, three bows. The ceremony is over, thanks to all the guests and friends. Invite everyone to lunch.

Who will pick up the bride when she comes home?

Let's see what the bride says when she comes home, what to pay attention to and what kind of etiquette she has when she comes home.

According to the custom of marriage in China, after three days of marriage, the bride and groom should go back to their parents' home together, which is also called "going back to their parents' home". This is an indispensable etiquette. With questions, such as double doors and what to wear, let's take a look at the following introduction! Now the return ceremony has become more and more pessimistic, especially in big cities.

Because parents can often see their children after marriage, and many children live with their parents after marriage, there is no such thing as marrying their daughters once or twice a year. The etiquette of returning naturally is becoming less and less particular.

However, although everyone thinks so, most newcomers still have to go through this procedure to complete this ceremony.

Precautions for door-to-door ceremony: 1. The bride's old people attach great importance to the door-to-door, so the groom should make ideological and gift preparations in advance and try to leave a happy and beautiful impression on his parents-in-law. 2. Prepare gifts in advance and buy gifts that the bride and the elderly like. There are generally four kinds of gifts.

Huimen usually leaves at nine or ten in the morning. The bride and groom should dress up as well as at the wedding, and keep a beautiful and handsome image at the wedding.

At home, the bride and groom should greet the old people first. At this time, the groom should change his mind and call his parents-in-law like the bride. He should be natural and kind, and be kind and polite to his relatives, friends and neighbors. He should greet people first and treat them with courtesy.

4. The bride should accompany the groom, propose a toast to parents, relatives and neighbors, and thank everyone for their wishes for their wedding. Don't rush home after dinner. You should chat with your parents for a while, listen to their teachings, and then leave and go home.

Moreover, two old people and brothers and sisters should be invited to their homes, and relatives, friends and neighbors should also be invited. The back door is different now, so there are many ways to exit the door now, as long as it is four. First, return it before noon on the wedding day.

1. At present, most couples choose to return to China before noon 12, which has the advantage of freeing up the afternoon time for location, makeup and wedding preparation. Of course, the disadvantage is that the morning trip will be more urgent.

2. If the bride's divorce room is not far away, it is recommended to return the door in this way.

As long as you control the time in the morning, you can go back to the door around noon 1 1:30.

Another advantage of this door-to-door way is that the banquet at noon can be more lively at the bride's house. And compared with the tense wedding time at night, there may be no time to chat with the bride's family. The return banquet at noon can let the bride and her relatives and friends speak freely and accept everyone's blessings.

And in the afternoon, I also have time to shoot location or go to the hotel to rest in advance, and start makeup modeling early.

For more etiquette, let's meet this couple. ) 2. Go back to the door at noon.

1. This is rare, but I have seen it. At that time, because the woman's family was from other places, the couple also planned to hold a wedding only in Nanjing, so they arranged the return ceremony at the hotel where the banquet was held at noon after the wedding reception in the morning.

In fact, the ceremony is very simple, that is, before lunch, the couple drinks the wine of the woman's parents, changes their mouth, and then the bride's parents give a red envelope, even if it is a return visit.

I think this is more suitable for them, and there is no need to work hard for the so-called rules.

3. this way of returning to the door, because it is not going to the woman's house, doesn't feel very formal, so I don't recommend this way for newcomers from different places. But if this happens to you, you can think about it. It's very convenient to return the door, so you don't have to waste money running around.

3. Go home in the afternoon on the wedding day.

1. My family has talked a lot about this way, and I have never encountered this kind of program myself.

This kind of gift is to rest in the wedding room after the wedding in the morning and arrange a banquet for relatives and friends at noon; Then, the newlyweds said, eat quickly and let the groom's parents entertain the guests, and then they and the bride can set off for the bride's house.

2. In fact, this is a good way to return home, which is more suitable for newcomers who are far away from the bride's house and wedding room. In this way, it is not necessary to arrange the morning time very tightly, and the time and ceremony can be relatively long.

The advantage of this way of returning to the door is that there is relatively plenty of time in the morning, and the disadvantage is that the location in the afternoon is likely to be cancelled.

But I think we can consider taking some outdoor photos when we go back to the door. For example, the environment in the community is beautiful, so we can take some outdoor photos in the community. For example, what small parks, squares, city walls and even downtown areas pass by on the road can also be filmed on location. With flowers and grass, it is not necessarily called location.

4. Go back on the third day after the wedding.

1. I don't understand this very well, but my family told me that I won't go back on my wedding day, but I will go back on the third day. This way of returning home is relatively more casual, and you can also have a meal by the way, hehe.

2. This way of returning home is more suitable for couples with tight arrangements on the wedding day. If the bride's divorce room is far away and the wedding hotel is far away from the new house, couples who are going to shoot on location in the afternoon, it is best to return to the door on the third day, otherwise the wedding day will be too busy and tired, which will also affect their mood.

And if the couple separated from each other also consider this way, after all, the etiquette of returning to the door is still needed.

4. How to calculate the return after three days of marriage?

The previous unified algorithm was to count the wedding day as one day. Get married on the 2nd and come back on the 4th.

But now some places don't count like this, not counting the wedding day, getting married on the 2 nd, returning to the door on the 5 th, and counting three whole days in the middle. . That's because the custom in most places is that when a family member dies, the deceased must hold a funeral on the third day. . This is the same as the number of days to get married and return to China. That doesn't sound good. It's a bit contradictory. . . So in order to avoid being unhappy, the new people changed it to three whole days, and actually returned to the door on the fourth day. Get married on the 2 nd and return to the door on the 5 th.

This is the practice in most places. However, it is mainly based on local customs. You'd better ask the old people at home, just like the local customs.

Hope to adopt

5. What are the precautions for returning to the door?

Huimen is also called "mothering", that is, "going back to my mother's house".

The taboo of returning to the bride's family is mostly about the bride, but it refers to the taboo items of the bride's returning to her family. In Henan, in addition to the above-mentioned taboo of going back to your mother's house to watch lights on the fifteenth day of the first month, you should also avoid offering sacrifices to stoves and going back to your mother's house on the first day of the first month.

Because women don't sacrifice stoves, they don't ask their daughters to go back to their parents' homes on the day of sacrifice. The first day of the first month is the beginning of a year, and the water spilled by the married daughter is married to her husband's family.

On New Year's Day, it is naturally inconvenient for the whole family to get together and go back to their parents' home. The fifteenth day of the first month is also the first full moon day of the year, fearing that the daughter-in-law will not be reunited with her family when she returns home.

So it's usually the second day of the first month and the sixteenth day of the first month. In order to take care of the reunion and celebration of both parties to the marriage.

There is a saying in Luyi County that "please (girl) on the 16th day of the first month, and deliver it on the 2nd of February. Don't get sick". In Zhejiang and other places, old brides are forbidden to go home on the winter solstice.

Otherwise, I thought I would kill my husband's parents. As the saying goes, "My mother's family lives for a winter, and my husband's family goes to work."

Jiangsu also has this custom. However, the reason is different, that is, if the winter solstice is spent in the bride's house, the bride's house will decline.

The custom of returning to her parents' home on June 6 in northern Shaanxi is said to be to contact her in-laws' feelings, when she will invite her daughter and son-in-law home for reunion. Henan also has this custom, but it is related to the season of wheat harvesting and threshing.

As the saying goes, "When the wheat harvest is over and the game is over, there will be no girl to look after her mother." . The prostitute didn't visit her mother, and her father-in-law died. "

The taboo of returning to the door is to let the bride abide by the communication order, and she must not return to the door when she should not, otherwise something will happen; When it's time to go back, you must go back, or something terrible will happen. Generally, on the third day of marriage, the bride and groom will go back to visit their parents, but they must return to their husband's house before sunset that night, because the new house cannot be empty.

In Linxian County, Henan Province, the bride goes back to her parents' home in three days and goes along the road to greet her. The so-called "three days without two roads". Yi brides avoid talking to the groom on their way home. They are like strangers.

This is related to the custom of keeping marriage. When the Han people go back to their hometown, the young couple always kiss, talk and laugh.

There is a folk tune of "Going Back to Mother's Home". The gifts that newlyweds bring home are always in pairs, not singular.

The bride's family can't accept it all, and she has to take some back when she goes back to her husband's house. Some brides, influenced by superstitious ideas, will have to wait 120 days (4 months) to return to Ning, while others will have to wait three years to go home.

In some places in Zhejiang, some women were sentenced to "breaking their mother's family". Such a woman is not allowed to get on the sedan chair at home. When getting married, the man's house picks up the woman to go out. A woman dressed in rags pretends to beg and put on a sedan chair in the temple, which is called "borrowing marriage". The parents and relatives of the woman's family must hide, and everything is taken care of by her husband's family. One hundred and twenty days after marriage, you can save your relatives.

Otherwise, the bride's family will lose everything or suffer misfortune. There are also so-called criminals who "divorce" (husband and wife are separated) and "turn around" (take chestnuts from the fire) and can't go home until four months or even three years later.

Generally, after one month of marriage, in-laws can contact freely. When returning to China, the bride can stay with her parents.

The number of days to stay is very particular. Some areas in Henan have the custom of staying for a few days.

As the saying goes, "eight to eight, twenty cents" and "nine to nine, two ends". In other words, those who return to their parents' home on the eighth day of the eighth month can stay at their parents' home for eight days, and those who return to their parents' home on the ninth day can stay at their parents' home for nine days.

In this way, the most time is to stay for one month. If you live like this, it will be auspicious for both men and women, otherwise it will be bad.

However, there is also a saying that don't live for eight days. As the saying goes, "if you live seven years old, you will not live eight years old, and your family is poor." The formation of this taboo is generally due to the ideological consideration that it is not easy for a married daughter to live in her parents' home.

Among them, there are emotional constraints, moral constraints, economic pressures and production needs, and many factors have contributed to the agreement of this custom. If the bride and groom go back to their parents' home together, then their accommodation in their parents' home also has different taboos.

In Han and Manchu, it is a custom for newlyweds to avoid sleeping together when they return to their parents' home. Manchu allowed their children to live in Xikang, and other guests were not allowed to live in Xikang.

But girls and children can't live together. It is said that the newlyweds sharing the same room in their parents' house will make their family's access decline. This is also caused by the concept of unclean and blasphemous sexual behavior.

People often think that women are always troubled by things between men and women. Because of this, female families always feel a little depressed psychologically.

Besides, if the bride's family and her husband's family are not of the same clan, how can we provide a place for the husband's family to carry on the family line in the bride's family room? If she was really pregnant at her mother's house, wouldn't she take her "human potential" and "financial potential" to her husband's house? The bride's family will definitely decline because of this. Therefore, it is absolutely forbidden for young couples to share the same room in their parents' house, which is the idea under this custom.

However, whether in the Han nationality or in many places, it is not taboo for newlyweds to share the same bed at their parents' home. Sometimes, these two completely different customs will coexist in the same county, for example, in Linxian County, Henan Province, these two customs coexist.

After the bride's return, her identity has changed and she belongs to others, so her family often "guards against her". The Oroqen people were forbidden to wash pots when they married their daughters and returned to their parents' homes.

Otherwise, her family's fortune will be brushed away by her. There are similar taboos in Xiuwu County, Henan Province.

The local folk taboo girls go out to touch their parents' spoons and fire pillars. They all say that "touching the spoon won't kill my father-in-law, my mother-in-law" and "lifting the torch won't kill my father-in-law and my son-in-law".

Also taboo to take the knife and scissors of her family, taboo to catch her dog and so on. He said, "I'm afraid I'll cut off my family and bite the road in the future."

In short, make every effort to prevent married girls from using or taking things from their parents' house. If they take things from their parents' house after marriage, disputes and disputes will inevitably affect the relationship between men and women. However, it is not a good idea to guard against it. How can we make her consciously not take them? So I used the spell of "dead father-in-law" and "dead son-in-law" to scare her as a warning. When the bride returns to her mother's house, she should avoid telling her family all the bad things she encountered in her husband's house, and avoid returning to her mother's house and then telling her family things regardless of weight.

The result of "learning to speak" in this way will often cause trouble, affect the relationship between men and women, and the bride will also lose her reputation as a rapper. So there is a saying that "you can be a daughter-in-law and hide at both ends, but you can't be a daughter-in-law and pass it on at both ends."

This is handled by the brides of both men and women.

6. What about the wedding reception? What about the wedding reception?

What about the return banquet?

First, let's learn about Federal-Mogul. Huimen: commonly known as "mothering", which means going home to visit parents after marriage, is a marriage custom of Han nationality. That is, on the third, sixth, seventh, ninth, tenth or full moon after marriage, the son-in-law goes back to her mother's house with the bride to pay New Year greetings to her parents and relatives. This is the last ceremony of marriage.

Huimenyan theme

The back door banquet, also known as the thank-you banquet, must reflect "thanks". But who to thank and how to thank are different according to the changes of the times. Ancient people respected heaven and earth, so the proportion of gratitude in banquets was very important. Now, thanks at the back door banquet are mainly for the bride's parents and guests. Although it is not difficult for a daughter to meet her parents after marriage, her gratitude and love for her parents will not be less than in ancient times.

Huimen banquet time

As far as time is concerned, the banquet in Michelle Chen 19 on July 22nd, and the banquet in Ruby Lin on August 2nd, 3 1 2008 are all three days after the wedding. But Shen Teng's wedding was held 12 days after the wedding, which was not within the above time. Is there something wrong?

In fact, the time requirement of the back door banquet is not as strict as that of the ancient ceremony. It is of course best to be able to finish it within the required time. If you don't want to rush, you can finish it in one month. Of course, there are also some reasons, because of work factors or too far apart, it takes more than a month to hold a back door banquet. As long as both husband and wife and their parents (especially the bride's parents) reach an agreement.

Who should be invited to the back door banquet?

Because the mother-in-law banquet is the first time for a married daughter to return to her family, of course, the elders and relatives of the bride's family should be invited first. Of course, if some relatives and friends can't attend your wedding because of time and distance, you can also invite them to your back door banquet.

Huimen banquet style

Because it is a tradition of Chinese wedding customs, many newcomers will choose Chinese-style back door banquet. Shen Teng's back-door banquet also included pandas from Sichuan, the bride's hometown, which was very creative and thoughtful. But if your wedding is Chinese, you'd better choose a western-style banquet. In this way, one China and one West can better reflect the beauty of differences.

In addition, in the wedding process, many brides will give up their wedding dreams to achieve a perfect wedding in order to take care of the views of their elders, so when returning to the banquet, they can also choose the style that the bride likes to make up for their little regrets.

The dress for the back door banquet

Because the formal wedding has been held, the dress for the back door banquet is not as casual as the wedding. Although Ruby Lin has prepared three sets of round-the-door banquet dresses, if you are afraid of trouble, it is ok to prepare only one set of simple dresses. In addition, the back door banquet can really put away those big trailing wedding dresses, simple dresses, cheongsam and the like.

Return banquet process

To tell the truth, many of the back-door banquet processes seen in Du Niang are written about wedding processes, which makes many newcomers stupid and unclear about weddings and back-door banquets. In fact, we just need to remember which processes are not available in the back door banquet and which ones need to be emphasized.

These processes are unnecessary: exchanging tokens, making a glass of wine, worshipping the church and so on. Because these processes symbolize a lifelong commitment and have been completed at the wedding, there is no need to repeat them here.

The back door banquet can have these processes: champagne ceremony, cake ceremony, kissing, small games and other festive and lively contents can be reflected again in the back door ceremony. Of course, if you want to be more interesting, you can choose some lively opening, such as singing love songs.

In addition, newlyweds who have already got the wedding video should play your's wedding video at the back door banquet. On the one hand, they can enjoy Xiu Xiu's love, and more importantly, they can let friends who didn't attend your wedding feel a once-in-a-lifetime feast.

The ancients believed that the wedding was officially completed when the banquet was over. From then on, two people, even two families, really joined together. Some people say that everyone is so busy, so let's skip the back door banquet. But sometimes life really needs more sense of ceremony to teach us to remember the beauty of being respected, loved and cared for!