"I bought sunglasses for 12 yuan, and my mother-in-law and elder sister scolded me all night."

Sister:

I was in the hotel when I wrote this letter with you. I haven't been home for two days, and I'm having a cold war with my husband.

I have been married for five years. I went to college in this city and then stayed here to work. Husband Xu Jiang is a local, his parents are high school teachers, and his husband has a sister above him.

There were quite a few people chasing me at that time, but in the end I chose to fall in love with Xu Jiang. Because he has a gentle temper, always smiling, thick lips, chubby figure, white skin and three years older than me, he knows how to tolerate me. I have a quick temper, and he and I can complement each other.

and my favorite is Xu Jiang's mother. She is a very hardworking woman, and her home is always spotless. Xu Jiang's mother also has a younger sister, and Xu Jiang calls her aunt.

In my memory, Xu Jiang's home is always very lively, with a dozen people eating together. Xu Jiang's parents, Xu Jiang's aunt and son, Xu Jiang's sister's family of three, and Xu Jiang and me. Xu Jiang's mother is a woman who knows how to live, and the fried dishes are delicious. Therefore, when I was in love, I especially liked to go to their house for dinner.

My parents are withdrawn. They talk little at home and seldom associate with their relatives. Xu Jiang's home has made me feel strongly the enthusiasm and beauty of life.

I like such a big family, and I always fantasize that it would be great to have so many people to take care of me when I get married.

after more than a year of love, Xu Jiang and I got married. On the eve of the wedding, Xu Jiang's mother gave me a pair of pure gold bracelets. She held my hand with an old hand and said, "Lili, I will give it to you in the future. He grew up to 28 years old and really didn't even wash a pair of socks. I will work hard for you in the future."

I nodded yes, but I felt that this sounded a little uncomfortable.

after I got married, I found that this day is not as beautiful as I thought.

because the new house is being renovated, we agreed to live in his parents' house for two years before moving to a new house.

Xu Jiang's salary has been managed by his parents, and he refused to give it to me after marriage. I thought we were all eating his parents' retirement salary together, but now I find out that Xu Jiang's salary is responsible for the meals of a dozen people.

I argued with Xu Jiang about this, but Xu Jiang said, "If you marry a daughter-in-law, you will get your salary card back, and your parents will be sad." Xu Jiang also advised me: "My parents are my only son, and their money is actually mine in the end. Stop it, too. "

I thought so, but I found it wasn't. Xu Jiang's sister's family, a family of three, comes here for dinner every night, and doesn't go home until seven or eight in the evening. When they leave, they often carry a bag of apples or several packs of snacks.

Xu Jiang's mother is very fond of her granddaughter. Whenever the little girl is sick, her grandmother runs before and after to take care of her and pay for her medical treatment. In fact, the money for medical treatment is Xu Jiang's salary.

once, after dinner, Sister Xu Jiang saw the refrigerator at home and said, "Mom, I suggest you buy a big refrigerator. I might as well give it to me. I just got my little room and can rent it." The next day, she asked someone to take the refrigerator away ... I was really speechless in the face of such a gnawing elder sister. I told my husband Xu Jiang privately many times, hoping that he would tell his parents not to spoil his daughter like this. After all, now that I'm married, I hope Xu Jiang will think more about our future.

Xu Jiang promised me on the surface, but refused to tell my parents.

after quarreling several times, I feel quite boring. I plan to put up with it for two years, move to a new home and start my own life.

After two years, we moved to a new home, and my father-in-law offered to give us Xu Jiang's salary card to live independently.

I was so happy that I thought I had started a new life. As a result, within a few days of our two-person world, Xu Jiang went back to his mother's house under various excuses. I didn't bring any clothes today. I will go home tomorrow to look for a book, and the day after tomorrow I said that I have something to discuss with my parents ...

I blame Xu Jiang for being an unweaned child and looking for his mother every day when he is married, but he said angrily, "Your cooking is terrible, otherwise I wouldn't want to eat my mother's rice."

Xu Jiang's words made me feel wronged. As a wage earner, my monthly income is 1 yuan more than Xu Jiang's, but he asked me to take care of him like his mother. I asked him to do any housework, but he said no, saying that he was by his mother's side and never needed to do it.

However, when I come home from a whole day's work, I'm too tired to fall apart. If I cook, clean and wash clothes all by myself, I can't stand it at all.

One day after work, I pushed open the door. I was surprised to see my parents-in-law coming. My mother-in-law cooked a table of dishes, and Xu Jiang was sitting at the table munching, happy as a child. I went to the bedroom to change clothes and saw the suitcase brought by my in-laws.

Sure enough, after dinner, my in-laws said that they would live here for a long time, and Xu Jiang whispered to me, "Since you don't have the energy to do housework, I'll ask mom to help."

Soon, our little home was no different from Xu Jiang's parents' old home. Xu Jiang's sister brought her family to dinner, Xu Jiang's aunt also brought her children to dinner, and Xu Jiang's sister even hugged her mother-in-law affectionately and said, "Where there is a mother, it is her family. This is my family's home in the future. "

I just found out that I am the only outsider in a family of ten people.

Xu Jiang and I started quarreling about this, and the more we quarreled, the fiercer it became. Xu Jiang was not angry and didn't yell at me, but he always said gently: It is not easy for parents to raise him. Since parents are willing to come and live, they can't be driven away. My sister has been very kind to him since childhood, so it's no big deal to have a few meals.

at this moment, I discovered that there is a man who doesn't argue with you about what you say. He just quietly doesn't do it and continues to live according to his ideas.

Because of these trifles, Xu Jiang's opinion on me is getting bigger and bigger.

I told my mother about these sufferings, and my mother advised me to continue to be patient. She said that Xu Jiang's family conditions were good, but she just couldn't get rid of her family of origin, and it would be fine after her in-laws died.

I feel that it is far away.

A few days ago, I went shopping with my best friend and took a fancy to an imported sunglasses, which was a little expensive, more than 1,2 yuan. But it really looks good on me. After several days of struggle, I bought this pair of sunglasses home.

I came home with a shopping bag. I didn't expect my elder sister to take her daughter to my room to play. Suddenly, my elder sister screamed, "Oh, you bought this brand of sunglasses. It's so expensive, more than 1 yuan!"

When my mother-in-law heard this, she also gathered around. She tuttered and said, "I have never seen such expensive sunglasses in my life. Last time I bought reading glasses, I came to 15 yuan."

with that, my mother-in-law went to the kitchen to talk to Xu Jiang.

Xu Jiang said nothing. The mother-in-law was so angry that she took the small ticket and said to him, "I think your wife is spoiled by you!" "

After that, my mother-in-law put the receipt into my arms and said, "You can return these glasses tomorrow. Now shopping in the mall can be returned in seven days. "

During the whole process, Xu Jiang just sat on the sofa and kept silent. This makes me extremely disappointed!

He is always like this. When his sister or his mother is against me, he never says anything. Like an ostrich, burying its head in the sand.

"No refund." I'm angry, too. I won't give in at all.

Xu Jiang's sister also went to the living room to help her mother-in-law, saying, "I'm not talking about you. Your clothes are not the same every day. I'm afraid your salary is spent on dressing up. Xu Jiang is so tired to support the whole family. I really feel sorry for my brother. "

This last sentence probably hit my mother-in-law's heart, and she immediately sobbed and said that her son was so pitiful.

I'm going to faint, and I'll just tear my face off: "I spent what I earned, what's it to you?" You are distressed by Xu Jiang's heavy burden, so don't come to eat and drink every day! "

My mother-in-law sat on the sofa crying and chanting repeatedly. She had been suffering all her life, and she really couldn't bear to buy more than 1 pieces of clothes, but she didn't expect to find such a daughter-in-law.

My mother-in-law, my husband's sister-in-law, elder sister-in-law, my husband ... Looking at the people in this room, I suddenly feel that they are particularly strange, and I am particularly helpless. I'm an outsider here.

I cried all night, and I went to work the next day.

to my surprise, when I got home from work, my sunglasses were gone. My husband saw me rummaging through everything and said, "My mother and my sister took the glasses back."

I rushed up and pointed to Xu Jiang and said, "Why didn't you speak for me from beginning to end?"

Xu Jiang grabbed his hair painfully and said, "Oh, what are you talking about?". Endure it and it will pass. "

in a fit of pique, I took some clothes and checked into the hotel. I stayed in the hotel for three days, and Xu Jiang begged me many times to go home. I said, "Then let your parents and your sister come to our house once a week, but they can't come at ordinary times." Besides, this isn't your sister's maiden, so why should she have a family of three to eat every day? And your aunt, who has money, a house, hands and feet, why can't she cook for her son every day? Are you all coming to eat big? Your sister used to be an old man, but now she is a younger brother. I don't agree. "

obviously, my request is too high for Xu Jiang. He mumbled for a long time and said, peace is the most important thing in the family. Why do you force me to tell my relatives this?

I don't want to talk to him anymore, and Xu Jiang doesn't beg me to go home anymore.

I really don't want to talk to such a cowardly husband, but I really don't know the road of this marriage. What should I do?

hello, dear.

I remember reading a topic on Zhihu: "What kind of man can't marry no matter how much he loves?"

There are all kinds of replies below. Some people answer that love rat, who is a playboy, a liar, does not strive for progress and has a poor personality, can't marry.

But in the end, a girl left a message: "In marriage, a man who has no opinion is more terrible than love rat." The praise behind her is the highest.

Su Daqiang and Su Mingzhe, the recently hit TV series Everything is Fine, are both such men. In marriage, they choose to be wise and protect themselves, and choose to be ignorant and filial. Completely disregarding the interests of his wife and children.

A woman can endure the poverty of life, the difficulties of her in-laws, but never. She entrusts her lifelong man to stand by and keep silent when he is most wronged.

No matter how good a man is, if he has no opinion, he can only bring endless harm to women in the end.

in the letter, Xu Jiang lacks a definite view, and always obeys his parents and family. When he meets his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he cares whether they live or die. Anyway, I just don't say anything.

Tu Lei, an emotional tutor, once said, "A man who has no opinion is a combination of a mother-in-law and a giant baby boy. Once married, your mother-in-law doesn't like you, you will have endless quarrels, endless food markets, endless housework and endless anger".

A man's opinion is his backbone and his ability to control his life.

A man who has his own opinions will make his wife and children happier.

Marriage is a game. A man has his own opinions, and his wife can be a gentle little woman. A man has no opinion, and his wife is forced to become a "female man". Just like in the hit drama "Everything's Fine", Su Daqiang's lack of opinions eventually made Su Mama tough. Everything is forced by life.

So, dear, there are three ways in front of you now:

1. Stand up by yourself and fight against your husband's family. Sometimes it is like this between people. If you are strong and weak, he will push his luck. When you make your bottom line clear, your mother-in-law, aunt and elder sister may choose to give in instead.

2. Communicate with your husband to make him grow up and become independent. However, I think this one is quite difficult. Changing an adult man's three views is as difficult as melting the snow in the Arctic.

3. Decisively divorce, open your eyes next time and find a man with a strong mind.

I'm sorry, I'm more direct, but I think, for people who get lost, the more direct, the more effective. Chicken soup is just a temporary placebo.

I wish you happiness. Love you ~