What to do when your husband has an affair

My husband and I have been married for eight years, and I never imagined that we would also experience the seven-year itch, and that our marriage would almost completely break up! I have been in love with my husband for more than a year, and we got married at the urging of both parents. After getting married, my husband's treatment of me has not changed. He is still very obedient. He almost never loses his temper with me. When the two of us have a slight argument, he will restrain himself. My own emotions, soothe my temper that is about to explode. When it comes to his family, he is even more responsible and attentive. He takes care of trivial matters at home, such as gifts for my parents’ birthdays and holidays. I have always had a strong personality since I was a child, and it became even more so after I got married to my husband. I manage all of his monthly salary, and he has to report to me when we go out to dinner or make appointments with friends. However, he has never once found me annoying and is always considerate of me. , let me. He is such a good man, but I don’t know when he started to fight against me when I got emotional. When I refused, he would ignore me and leave directly when he went out on weekends. He no longer cared about whether I worked hard or not, nor did he share his thoughts with me. . Maybe in the eyes of outsiders, we haven't changed, but I know that he doesn't love me as much as before! Every time I wanted to talk to him, he always said perfunctorily that he was too tired and wanted to rest and didn't want to talk to me. I was already very dissatisfied with him. His attitude made me even more angry. , yelled at him. The first few times, he would pretend to coax me, but later he actually started arguing with me and even threw things! That day, we broke up on bad terms. After that, he completely ignored my existence and had a cold war with me for nearly a month! During that month, I suffered from severe insomnia. I had no idea why this man who was gentle and submissive to me before became like this! At the end of last year, he was on a business trip for a week. I followed him secretly and found out that he was not on a business trip, but went to another city to meet a woman. The two of them even went to the hotel very intimately! I called him, but he refused to answer. I was devastated, and I was sure that he was cheating on me. I caught the rape on the spot and took my husband back to my parents' house. I called all my relatives and confronted him face to face, asking him to give an explanation to me and the children. I originally thought that since both parents and relatives were present, he should feel guilty anyway, but unexpectedly he actually forced me in front of everyone: "Either divorce, or live like this, it's your choice"! Everyone advised me to be patient for a while, and they would advise him properly. If he looked back, I was willing to forgive him, but I never expected that within a few days, he would move out and claim to separate from me! I filed for divorce in a fit of anger, and I thought he would refuse. Unexpectedly, he immediately agreed and sent me the divorce agreement! I still love him, I really don’t want to get divorced, let alone my children losing their father since they were young! I refused to sign the divorce agreement and asked him to go home, but he blocked all my contact information. Within a month, a third party came to my door and forced me to sign a divorce agreement, saying that my husband had agreed to marry her and told me to get out! I am angry, but there is absolutely no way I can get rid of this woman! My marriage has really come to an end! Answer 1. Discovery: Based on the influence of Xueqin and her husband’s family of origin on them, as well as the influence of their growing environment, the mentor intervened and led Xueqin to discover the flaws in her and her husband’s marriage, helping Xueqin truly understand and learn to pay attention to her husband’s problems. Emotional needs, value needs, etc. 2. Repair (Repair) After finding Xueqin’s own problems, repair her inner flaws in the marriage relationship, and guide her husband to improve the state of the intimate relationship, take the initiative to solve the problem together, repair the relationship, and recover from false intimacy to true intimacy. . 3. Empowerment: The mentor will lead Xueqin to examine her own intimate relationship, and by discarding factors that hinder the development of intimate relationships, she will be given the ability to solve marital problems, guide her partner to invest in the relationship, and maintain the long-term development of the marriage, so that Xueqin can truly have The power of a mentor to resolve marital crises and maintain marital relationships! 4. Alternatives (Recording) After this marriage crisis involving a third party, Xueqin realized that not only did she lack the ability to manage intimate relationships, but she also lacked the correct way to face relationships. Under the guidance of her mentor, she taught Xueqin how to pass new relationships. Ways to understand, know, and accept others (not limited to partners), and establish deep connections with each other.

5. Mutuality (Mutual Benefit) The ultimate significance of the guidance of expert mentors is not just to help Xueqin separate the third party, save her husband and repair the marriage relationship, but to help Xueqin and her husband learn to be in an intimate relationship on the basis of focusing on each other's emotional connection. Establishing a mutually beneficial relationship that is sufficiently deep and inseparable has enabled the Xueqin couple to gain a brand-new support point for their relationship. What to do when your husband has an affair 2 1: No need to argue. There is no need to argue hysterically with the man endlessly. At this time, it is not about whose voice is louder or whose voice is softer. If you still want to have sex with him, arguing will only make it impossible for your communication to continue. If you don't want to get through with him, why bother arguing? It's better to save the last dignity for yourself. If you argue with someone like him, you will lose your identity. Since love and responsibility are no longer there, it might as well be divided long ago. 2: Think about it before talking about it. Leave room for anything you do. Think about how to deal with this matter yourself, and look at your husband's attitude towards this matter. If your husband really feels repentant and starts to love you more, then you can consider how to deal with this matter in some disguise. For example, ask your husband to write a letter of guarantee to cut off all contact with the affair partner, and take the opportunity to seize the husband's financial power. Three: Communicate with the other party’s parents. Regarding your husband, you can communicate with the other party’s parents and tell them what is going on at home. Let the other person know your current situation and the decisions you will make. You are neither noisy nor fussy, and remain calm and collected when encountering problems. Even if this matter ends the divorce, the other party will know that the problems are caused by their own son in the future and will not attribute the fault to you. Even if his son has a bad life in the future, everyone will miss your goodness. Or the other parent will put pressure on their son and promote the union between you. Four: Let men go out on their own initiative. Since men have made mistakes, let men learn to take responsibility for themselves. He has no share in the division of the family's property, and neither does the child. From then on he could go wherever he wanted. Put some pressure on a man and let him know that he will pay for doing the wrong thing. This will let him know that his wife is not that weak and can be bullied. Only when you are strong can you make others feel afraid. When a wife makes a man feel scared, the man will become honest. Because this kind of person is born to be a bitch. If you don't care about him, he will be dissolute. If you don't care about him, he will be restrained. The main reasons why men have affairs 1. Unsatisfied feelings are mainly because they think that men cheat only for sex. This statement should be stopped. Only 8% of men said that dissatisfaction with desire was the main reason for their cheating, while 48% of men said They believe that being emotionally unsatisfied is the primary reason why they cheat. "Our culture always believes that men speak with their lower bodies." Newman said: "But in fact, men are also emotional animals. They want their wives to appreciate them, and they also want women to understand the efforts they put in to do everything well. "The problem is, unlike women, men rarely express these feelings, so you may not be able to tell when your husband needs a little validation. 2. Good friends who have had affairs will add fuel to the flames. 77% of men who have had affairs have a good friend who has also had an affair. Hanging out with friends who cheat can make men feel that such infidelity is normal and logical. His subconscious told himself: My friend is a good man, but he just happened to cheat on his wife. Maybe no matter how good a man is, he will inevitably cheat. It's hard to ban your husband from hanging out with Mr. Glutton, Newman says, but you can suggest that they spend time somewhere less tempting, such as playing sports or going to a restaurant instead of going to a bar or dance club. Another strategy: Make friends and build a social circle of happy families who share your values—this will create an environment that protects your marriage. If a female friend encounters a situation where her husband is cheating on her, she will not be able to solve the problem by just being autistic and feeling uncomfortable. You can talk to your best friends and find a way to solve the problem is the most important thing.