Ask a cold joke! ! ! ! !

Eleven disgusting jokes! ! See which one you insist on!

The list of the world's most disgusting jokes (1)

Some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. In a fit of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I'm like this ... "

List of the world's most disgusting jokes (2)

On the day of begging, the hotel owner was patrolling the hall. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" "The boss cut him some slack. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too? "The beggar said," I vomited alone, but I was late. The two beggars in front ate all I could eat, and now there is only soup left. Can you give me a straw? "

List of the world's most disgusting jokes (3)

"Vomiting" The boss and the second child are flying, and the second child is airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second child said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half of it and throw up."

The world's most disgusting jokes list (4)

I was dishonest when I was a child. An old farmer told me to educate me: 60 years of hard work, no food to eat, never throwing out snot and feces.

List of the world's most disgusting jokes (5)

Shopping A man saw a store having a big sale and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still has to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole and found the salesman. "What do you want?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. " "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper.

The world's most disgusting jokes list (6)

The eldest brother and the second son who drank phlegm went to the theater to see the play. When they saw that they were arguing about the plot in the middle, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost and took a sip with a frown. The two went on to bet on the next plot. This time, the second child lost. I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and swallow fifteen mouthfuls in one gulp. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! " "

The list of the world's most disgusting jokes (7)

A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . . .

World's Most Disgusting Jokes Ranking (8)

There is a rich man looking for a servant in Toilet Paper. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few people didn't wash their hands when they came out, so the rich man sent them away. Only one person washed his hands and the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

The list of the world's most disgusting jokes (9)

The Story of Pig Blood Cake There is a young man who likes pig blood cake very much. Once he went shopping and found an old lady selling pig blood cakes on the street, so he bought one. After eating it, he felt different from the pig blood cake he had eaten before, so he went back and asked the old lady to buy another one. But which old lady said it was sold out, and the young man asked why there were so few. The old lady replied, do you only come once a month? There used to be quite a lot. ! ! ! ! ! !

Ranked as the world's most disgusting joke (10th)

The Story of Hot Powder has a stall selling hot powder. Because it tastes good, it has always attracted customers. One night, a guest came to buy hot powder to eat. While waiting, the man suddenly felt a sore throat. He coughed a few times and spit it out. At this time, the boss lifted the lid of bone soup to prepare a spoonful of soup, and this sputum just spit in the pot. The two men looked at each other and didn't make any noise. Later, a farmer-like person also came to buy hot powder to eat. He saw thick phlegm floating in the bone soup and said to the boss, boss, we are usually short of oil and water. Can you give me the oil slick in the soup? Thank you very much The boss still didn't say anything, and quickly put the thick sputum spoon into his hot powder.

Rank of the world's most disgusting jokes (1 1 bit)

A female reporter went to the mountainous area to do an interview about happiness and asked an old man, "Grandpa, what do you think is the happiest thing in your life?" ?

The old man said, "Yes, forty years ago, the daughter-in-law of Erwa in the village went up the mountain to collect medicine and got lost. More than 30 people in the village went up the mountain to look for him, and when they found him, they were caught in heavy rain. We hid in the cave, and that night, we hung Erwa's daughter-in-law in the cave ~ "

The female reporter quickly interrupted him: "Grandpa, is there anything that makes you feel happier than this?"

The old man said, "Yes, thirty years ago, the cattle with iron pillars got lost in the mountains. More than thirty people in our village went up the mountain to look for it. After finding it, it rained heavily. We hid in the cave, and that night we gave the cows in the cave ... "

"Well, then tell me what is the most painful thing in your life." The female reporter is anxious.

"Yes, twenty years ago, I lost my way in the mountains, and more than thirty men from the village came to see me ..." Grandpa looked pale.

joke

My predecessor was a big shot. He especially likes to shit in the toilet, and he also likes to pose various shapes by moving his hips. Needless to say, he likes to ask me to appreciate his so-called art after playing! Surgery! I'm going to put up with it Until my birthday one day, he excitedly called me to the toilet and said, honey, this is my birthday present for you. I have been practicing for this for a whole month! Let me see, fuck! He really played "Happy Birthday"! Shit!

I saw a young girl in the supermarket, and my friend poked me: "Look, there is a girl over there." I said, "How can quantifiers be used for girls?" The friend said, "Does it feel exquisite?" Girls are delicate creatures. "I suddenly enlighted, feel the same way and nodded. Soon my friend poked me: "Look, there are a bunch of women there. "

"Do you know why we can feel each other's heartbeat strongly when we hug?" "Is it because we love each other deeply and have a heart in mind?" "No, it's because your chest is flat."

What happened in an engineering college was that a sophomore snuggled up in the arms of a junior and asked, "Why doesn't my freshman brother like me?" The junior stroked the head of the sophomore and said, "silly goose, they still like women!" "

Man: "Do you know why the ring you bought when you got married is called a ring?" Woman: "Why?" Man: "How evil! How evil! " Woman: "I see, it's really evil! ! !

Japanese people spend 65,438+66 million yuan to buy Diaoyu Island, which is not only an invasion of China territory, but also an insult to China land price! ! !

My senior sister told me that yesterday, on Teacher's Day, the newly-married beauty counselor in her class received gifts from students, including: more than 20 boxes of condoms, essential oils, delay drugs, 5-6 sets of sexy underwear, and candles (well, what's the situation? ) In fact, there is a big ZW device. .......................................................................................................................................................................

I have an idiot wife at home … who cuts her off … every time I see a beautiful woman in the street, my wife looks at me first. If I were watching, she would whistle at the beauty. When the beauty turned around, her wife would slap me in the face and call me shameless. Damn it, I can't whistle.

Erqi Road-Forum users revealed that one night when I wanted to buy snacks, Mommy stopped me and asked me, "Don't you lose weight?" I said, "Hi … Anyway, I have a boyfriend, and someone wants to …" Then my mother looked at me for a long time and said something very inspiring: "Don't want to change?"

On the subway, a three-and-a-half-year-old shota held a MM's thigh wearing B-type hot pants and said, Sister, your legs are really white! MM blushed. Do you have rice? Everyone in the carriage laughed. Do you have rice? At this time, the teacher said to me, uncle, I'm finished. Get off and take me to eat chicken. .....

I finally understand why military training should be turned around, because only in this way can the sunshine be more uniform → _→

My wife is an operator and talks in her sleep at night. Listen carefully, don't know who to talk to, and occasionally hear what set meal. I thought she was cute, so I kissed her. As a result, she popped out, "This customer, please don't kiss me. If you have no other business, please hang up. " "

Erqi Road-A netizen in the forum signed: When one door closes, another door will open. "I have a car like this. . .

Don't want me to play WeChat, someone added me WeChat and I read his information. When I saw a person's micro-signal with honey in front, it was evil at that time, so I refused. But he added me several times, and later I learned that it was a female colleague at work. I asked her how to use this name, and she said, what's the matter? Sweet Honey is a classic song.

In high school computer class, a buddy sat in the penultimate row and secretly surfed the Internet. When he gets online, he will think of two female classmates in the back row. He looked back and flushed. Call him XXX when you see him. You are disgusting. He smiled and continued to watch. After a while, he felt a little uneasy. Then he looked back and saw m-girls sitting together and cursing her. XXX, you are disgusting.

Today, in the street, two young people were fighting, and then a crowd gathered around. There is a young JC standing on tiptoe outside. I asked him, you are not JC, don't you care? This JC embarrassed and hearty smile, damn it, I forgot. Then he left with two young people. . .

The company is full of yin, but all employees, male and female, who are married and have children, must be girls, without exception. Last month, the goods next to me happily invited everyone to eat cake and told everyone, "I broke the spell and gave birth to a boy." A colleague replied, "How is that possible? It must not be yours. " . . As a result, the truth came out this morning, and I went to do a test. It's really not his. . . son

In the afternoon, my bike ran out of gas. When I walked to the repair shop, the master was not there. Two old ladies and two beautiful women are waiting. He saw me and said to me, "You have to wait, too. The master is not here. I have been waiting for a long time! " I said, "I'm just refueling." Then I took my own pump to cheer them up and said to them, "You are really unlucky, it's such a hot day …" I just heard a bang and my tire burst. ...

Last night, I enjoyed the cool on a bench on campus. A mother and son are sitting on the bench next to me. My mother said, honey, call your father and ask when you will come back. Shota (about four or five years old) called to ask, and mom and dad asked when you would come back. I guess shota said to your mother when she said to let her talk: Dad said you asked, so tell him yourself. Mom: You speak for me. Shota's face suddenly became angry and serious. He shouted into the phone: if you don't come back at nine o'clock, you will die outside, asshole. If you don't come back soon, you won't want to go to my mother's bed at night, and then you will hang up. Mom has a smug face. . . .