What are the marriage customs in Luoyang?

It started with the "matchmaker taboo". Luoyang people are forbidden to treat the matchmaker slowly, and it is forbidden to default on the gift money or remuneration due to the matchmaker. In the old society, men and women were not allowed to fall in love freely, paying attention to "men don't ask for relatives, women don't kiss." In this way, the status of the matchmaker is very important. As the saying goes: "The matchmaker's mouth, the upper lip matches the marriage, and the lower lip kills the matchmaker." She has a glib tongue and can do both good and bad things. If you offend the matchmaker, she will not only not help, but also get in the way and consciously destroy the marriage.

What are the marriage customs in Luoyang?

Secondly, the same surname does not get married. This taboo began in the Zhou Dynasty. Luoyang used to be the capital of the Eastern Zhou Dynasty, so it has the deepest inheritance. Why avoid getting married with the same surname? The ancients believed that people with the same surname were connected by blood, and marriage with the same surname would affect the prosperity of future generations and even lead to childlessness. The ancients said that "men and women have the same surname, and their lives are not unusual", which is what they mean. This taboo, which is quite scientific, is a check on the quality of the population and belongs to the category of eugenics. It's a pity that people are broken now, and more and more people are married with the same surname.

The third is the taboo for women to marry late. There is a folk saying in Luoyang that "if a woman doesn't stay, she will become an enemy if she stays", because most women are precocious than men of the same age. When the girl gets older, her mind becomes heavy. Many secret and complicated thoughts wander in her mind, but she is unwilling to communicate with her parents, and she gradually becomes depressed. Especially in ancient times, feudal ethics suppressed women the most. When a woman is old enough to get married, the whole family will put pressure on her. So there were many early marriages in the old society, and some got engaged at the age of seven or eight.

In fact, men were not encouraged to marry early at first. The Western Zhou Dynasty stipulated that men should get married at the age of 30 and women at the age of 20. They think that a 30-year-old man is strong enough to be a father. Women in their twenties are mature enough to be mothers. However, in the early Spring and Autumn Period, in order to compete for hegemony, Qi Huangong lowered the age of marriage for women by five years, so that "husbands get married at the age of 30 and women get married at the age of 15". Gou Jian, the King of Yue, was even more radical. In order to expand the army, he ordered that "anyone who marries 20 men and 17 women will commit the crime of his parents". Later, in the Southern and Northern Dynasties, the age of marriage was reduced to 15 for men and 13 for women, which was the minimum age for marriage. In the middle of the Tang Dynasty, it was also stipulated that men should be 15 years old and women should be 13 years old. Since then, from the Song Dynasty to the Qing Dynasty, the legal age of marriage has been around 16 for men and 14 for women. In modern times, the civil law of the Republic of China stipulates that men are not allowed to get married under the age of 18, and women are not allowed to get married under the age of 16. At that time, women in Luoyang usually got married at the age of sixteen. Once they passed the age of eighteen, they were in danger of not getting married.

Luoyang people also taboo brother unmarried, brother married first, saying that this is "the barley is not ripe, the wheat is ripe first". In the same way, my sister is not married, and my sister gets married first, which will be condemned by public opinion. This is a taboo to break the order and confuse human relations.

Then there is the "zodiac taboo", the so-called "a mouse sees a sheep in a thousand years, and a white horse sees a green cow." A snake is like a knife, but a rabbit can't see a dragon. There is no scientific reason, but everyone is taboo. At the same time, in the process of engagement, gifts should be given in odd numbers and even numbers. Don't have the association of "widowed", especially gifts given in pairs, such as pillows. Don't send them in one direction, otherwise it will be a curse for others to lose their partners at the pillow.

When the man gives the bride price to the woman, the ritual actions of both sides are not standardized. When offering sacrifices to ancestors to burn incense, no matter whether the incense inserted into the incense burner is crooked or not, it is forbidden to pull it out and insert it again. When the man's guests return, the woman's house sends them out to say hello, avoiding saying "come and sit again"-pulling out the incense and inserting it again, which makes the taboo of "heavy"; "Come and sit again" violates the taboo of "come again" and may lead to remarriage.

Marriage customs and procedures in Luoyang

First, prepare a dowry.

Preparing a dowry is what the woman needs to do. Of course, the amount of preparation also depends on her family situation. However, the amount of dowry also determines the future bride's position in her husband's family. The more preparations, the more respect the husband's family has for the bride. Of course, there are also cases where the man is asked to pay a dowry, because the family is more difficult. The day before the wedding, the woman will send the dowry to the man's house.

Dowry is given on the day before or on the wedding day. Before the dowry, the man gave a plate of meat rice, commonly known as "leaving the mother's rice and leaving the mother's meat." When the dowry is carried to the husband's house, the makeup artist will give the key to the groom's mother.

Second, prepare a new house

The bed used in the bridal chamber is usually sewn by people with children and healthy couples, which represents good luck. Jujube will be sprinkled on the bed the day before the wedding, which means early birth of your son, peanuts and so on. On the night before the wedding, the average man will let a healthy boy in his next of kin sleep in a new bed, which means that the bride will give birth to a healthy fat boy.

Third, get married.

In the morning, the man will accompany the bride to get dressed and then send the bride to her parents' home. At noon, the bride will dress up and wait for the groom to get married. When getting married, the bride's feet should not touch the ground, and the groom should be carried in a sedan chair. It should be noted that don't take the same route when you get married, and set off firecrackers to ward off evil spirits when passing by intersections and dry wells.

When the car arrives at the door of the man's house, the man's house will set off firecrackers immediately. With the help of the hostess, the bride stepped on the red carpet and entered the door. The man sprinkled hay, colored paper and sugar, peanuts, dates, copper coins and other things on the bride, and the children earned it to express their excitement. Then a ceremony was held: a couple worshiped heaven and earth, two parents and three husband and wife, and then the bride was sent to the bridal chamber.

Fourth, noisy rooms.

In the first three nights of the wedding, the whole village, old and young, regardless of rank, will gather in the bride's room to make a wedding, so as to increase the atmosphere of the wedding. As the saying goes, "three days, big or small." But when the elders are more disciplined, they just look and smile to create an atmosphere. The craziest people are mainly the brothers and sisters in the neighborhood. When the new wife is most worried about the trouble in the bridal chamber, the timid and cowardly will often be frightened, and make psychological preparations a few days in advance.

Five, go back to the door

Generally, on the second day of marriage, the bride's family will bring gifts to the groom's house to visit her daughter. Wait until the third day or so after marriage, the groom needs to accompany the bride back to her parents' home, and parents will also kill pigs for warm hospitality.