On Li's birthday silence from Doctor Owl Never Crys

These two days, I have been watching Silence on Li's birthday, which contains 25 strange stories.

I have read two-thirds of the book, an

On Li's birthday silence from Doctor Owl Never Crys

These two days, I have been watching Silence on Li's birthday, which contains 25 strange stories.

I have read two-thirds of the book, and the previous story poked me several times by playing sunflower acupoints intermittently. Today's article "Dr. Owl Never Crys" has hit my pain point a little overwhelming.

The story is written from the perspective of the first-person man, with characters with lines, and the man's wife Chen Wei and son hum. It's probably a story about a young couple raising a child, so as to recall the childhood of the man and some past experiences together.

The story of a man

Men are afraid of the dark. When I was a child, there was a dark area from the living room to the bathroom, and the bathroom lights were also in it. Every time he goes to the toilet, the man has to summon up great courage to overcome his fear of the dark.

But every time his father opens the bathroom door, he will be scared to go to the bathroom and run back to his bedroom. Father will laugh at him for it. The man felt wronged and cried. When his father sees him crying, he will beat him and lock him in the bathroom.

This has already happened to me. When you ask the reason, the other person will answer: What are you afraid of? Just get used to it.

Simple and rude.

The man really got used to it later. He is married and has a five-year-old son, but he is still afraid of the dark. It's just that he doesn't say it or show it. It can be seen that the fear of darkness has not been solved.

Habit is different from solution.

The result seems to be the same, and you can't change the color of the dark side. But habit is to suppress your nature and fears. The solution is to guide you to self-awareness and self-reconciliation.

Fear is actually a normal self-protection mechanism, which helps us avoid many risks.

Ask yourself why you are afraid of the dark, recognize your emotions and tell yourself that being afraid of the dark is a normal reaction of people. Darkness may be dangerous in a strange place, but it is safe at home.

When the man was 14 or 15 years old, he told his parents that he didn't want children in the future, and his parents laughed at him. The more serious he is, the more his parents laugh.

Yes, sometimes we laugh at children's childish words. Because we think they are ignorant and naive, when they grow up, they will naturally not say so.

Parents don't care what their children say that goes against the laws of the adult world, perhaps because they have compromised society and life, and their children will be educated to be "should" when they grow up.

But the child is very serious. The seriousness of being hurt finally became a kind of forbearance.

When his wife was in hospital for surgery, the man was not with her because his parents didn't like him. He secretly cried, sad that he couldn't be with his wife, sad that he didn't know how to express his concern for his wife, and even sadder that his wife said that her mother was angry that her husband wouldn't go to see her. The man said, "I remembered the grievance that I couldn't pee when I was a child."

"I may really have a problem. I didn't tell Chen Wei when I was waiting for her to recover at the hotel, and I never told my dad that I couldn't pee. I can't cry now. "

Many people like to tease children. Using self-righteous humor is actually fooling, deceiving, scaring and arbitrarily evaluating, which makes children confused, hesitant, afraid and depressed.

The children cried, but the adults laughed. If you cry badly, you will say, "Why are you crying?"

Why did I cry and you laughed?

Why am I sad but wrong?

"I never frighten hum, I don't tease him. In our family, teasing children is strictly prohibited by Chen Wei. "

Chen Wei's words

Chen Wei loves learning and raises children in strict accordance with scientific methods.

"He is worthless in the future is his business. Now I can't let him be wronged. "

Adler psychology believes that the meaning of life lies in that everyone has his own topic of life. We separate the topic from the perspective of "whose topic is this?"

Basically, all interpersonal conflicts are caused by interfering with other people's projects or their own projects.

Chen Wei knows very well that as a mother, what she can do is to give Hem the most scientific education, which is her subject. Whether the future is excellent or not is the subject of hem.

"If boys always see that their father is particularly ruthless, they will feel very gentle and even confess directly. This is a shame."

"You see, you are like this, in a bad mood, don't talk, don't laugh. You think that laughter can't be solved. Is silence useful? "

The man is a person who can't express his emotions, because his childhood experience led to his confusion about emotions, and then he chose to avoid it.

Silence is a negative way to deal with it.

A man doesn't know how to deal with the matter itself, so he gives the initiative to his wife to guess her thoughts, or whatever decision he makes for her is fine.

Hum warm.

"Dad," Hem jumped out of bed, "don't cry if you can't cry, and neither can Dr. Owl."

Me: "Who told you I was going to cry?"

Hum: "I heard everything, and you always thought I was a child."

I touched Hem's head: "Dad goes to the toilet."

"Dad," Hem smiled sweetly, "aren't you afraid of the dark?"

I didn't speak, and I didn't turn on the light when I went into the bathroom.

I cried for a long time that day. I didn't let them see it

Chen Wei was not told afterwards.

This is a wonderful article for me.

When we were young, we felt that adults always treated us as children, and we knew nothing.

When we grow up, we seem to have amnesia, treat our children as children and forget that they can understand a lot.

Hum is a little warm man, very gentle.

Among the bedtime stories that men read to Hem, Hem likes Doctor Owl best. Even if dad doesn't cry, dad is his favorite person.

Probably only hem asked, "Aren't you afraid of the dark?" When the man went to the bathroom.

Perhaps a man is more afraid that no one cares about his emotions than he is afraid of the dark.

Hiding emotions is also to avoid being disappointed without expectations.

Everyone has the brand of family background.

There is a popular saying that "lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives." The hero of the story is very lucky. He was cured by his own childhood, but he was cured by his humming childhood.

When I face my own problems, I often recall the past, write down the clues and sort them out, and then find the problems.

I will be a mother when I grow up, and I said to me when I was a child, it doesn't matter, let's go again, we can do this.

Actually, it's not difficult