What are the classic dialogues in Man on the Road?

1. Li Chenggong and three subordinates are in the hotel.

Li Chenggong: Knowing you makes me believe that everything is fate. Maybe it was predestined, and somehow it brought us together. What I want to say now is, what evil did I do in my last life? The national animation market is so hot, you show me such sales performance. Your IQ is really refreshing. And Xiao Zhang, you have made progress this year. Last year you were mentally retarded, and this year you were promoted to be an idiot. As for you, I have always felt that there are two kinds of people in the world who are most attractive, one is the kind of person who looks very beautiful, and the other is you. Thank you for making me realize that it is the same reason not to come to work after the Spring Festival.

Subordinate No.3: Boss, this is my resignation letter.

Li Chenggong: This is the most correct decision you have made this year.

2. Niu Geng bought a plane ticket.

Niu Geng: Should I stand or buy a ticket?

Ground crew: All planes need tickets. Thank you. Take your time.

Niu Geng: Where is the platform?

Li Chenggong: Yes, yes, young man, young man, this is the airport, and there is no platform. Take your boarding pass and ID card. Do you see it? Before you got there, you had passed the security check. The seat number of gate 2b is 13c. Go ahead. Goodbye.

Niu Geng: Brother, how can I get to 2b?

Li Chenggong: Go through the security check first, and then you will find 2b. Go ahead.

Niu Geng: Thank you.

At the airport, after the security check, Niu Geng insisted on taking the milk on the plane.

(Niu Geng holds a pot in his left hand and a kitchen knife in his right)

Niu Geng: You can't take this. You can't take this. You want me to check your luggage. Ok, I promise to check it right away. But why don't I take this bottle of milk?

Security: Sorry, sir. According to the regulations of the Civil Aviation Administration, liquids are not allowed to be brought on the plane.

Niu Geng: Let's go by train and plane. ...

Security guard: Sorry, this really can't be taken on the plane. If you insist on flying, you can go down and check with a kitchen knife. Or, you can drink it now, sir. Would you please put these things in order and check them quickly? There are still a lot of passengers to go through security in the back, okay?

(Niu Geng drank all the milk at one sitting. )

Li Chenggong: Talent!

Niu Geng talked with Li Chenggong on the plane when he learned that Li Chenggong was also the boss.

Niu Geng: You are the boss too. Which farm are you from?

When the plane took off, Niu Geng, who just got off the plane, got airsick and felt depressed.

Niu Geng: Waiter, waiter, waiter. ......

Li Chenggong: Don't shout.

Niu Geng: Come here.

Stewardess: Can I help you, sir?

Niu Geng: You open the window to get some air.

Stewardess: Excuse me, sir. The cabin is completely closed. You can't open the window.

Niu Geng: I can't hold my breath because it's stuffy here.

Stewardess: Please be patient. The plane will arrive soon. How about I pour you a glass of water?

Niu Geng: Hurry up, I'm choking.

Stewardess: OK, just a moment, please.

Niu Geng: Waiter, waiter.

Li Chenggong: Hey, if you have something to tell me, fine.

Niu Geng: I'll stop the plane. I don't want to take it.

Li Chenggong: Will the plane stop when flying in the air?

Niu Geng: Then how can we stop?

Li Chenggong: If you cancel your flight, you won't be able to fly.

Niu Geng: Then let it be cancelled.

Li Chenggong: The plane is already in the sky. How can I cancel my flight?

Niu Geng: Then why do people say that planes can't take off?

Li Chenggong: There is fog and snow.

Niu Geng: If only we had a foggy day.

Li Chenggong: Planes can't fly in foggy weather!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, I just got the news that Changsha airport was closed due to heavy snow and the plane could not land. Now the plane is ready to return. Please forgive me.

Niu Geng: So we can go back?

Li Chenggong: A crow's mouth!

6. Li Chenggong calls his subordinates.

Li Chenggong (Tel: 1): Then listen carefully. Now, you can buy a soft sleeper train ticket to Changsha. Be smart, be smart, and be careful with some music, okay?

(Telephone 2) Li Chenggong: I said I was going crazy, I said I was going ... I said I was going ... I was going crazy! He bought me a hard seat. What? It's too noisy here. I can't hear you. What? Hey. Are there many people? Oh, my God! Do you know what Spring Festival travel rush Peak is? Let me show you. It's almost the zoo.

7. Li Chenggong and Niu Geng met again on the train, and later they found that their tickets were exactly the same.

Li Chenggong: I bought two tickets. Now shut up. I'm sitting and you're standing!

Niu Geng: OK, OK, I'll sit and you stand. No, you stand, I sit. You sit down, you sit down.

Li Chenggong: Pan.

Li Chenggong calls his assistant: I can't buy first class. If you let me take a green leather car, I can't stand it. You still have to buy a fake hard seat ticket! Well, don't come to work after the Spring Festival. Goodbye!

8. Meet some beautiful women

Li Chenggong: All beautiful women!

Beauty: Thank you, uncle.

Li Chenggong: Uncle, that's too much. My post-90 s

Niu Geng: Huh? Boss, you don't look like you after 90.

Li Chenggong: I went to college after 90s.

Niu Geng: Oh, that's not small.

9. Here comes another handsome guy.

Beauty 1: Handsome guy, I have a funny news here. Do you want me to forward it to you?

Handsome guy: Oh, no, thanks.

Beauty 2: Handsome boy, I'll treat you to cookies.

Handsome guy: I'm not hungry, thanks.

Beauty, will you eat after 2: 90?

Li Chenggong: No, thanks.

Niu Geng: I'll have one.

Li Chenggong: Ah! You stepped on my foot.

10. The train stopped.

Li Chenggong: Why doesn't this car move?

Niu Geng: Come on, let me see. The front will not collapse, will it?

Announcer: Attention, passengers, there is a landslide one kilometer ahead of the railway, so vehicles can't move forward for the time being. Please get ready to get off.

Niu Geng: Hey, it really collapsed!

Li Chenggong: Shut the fuck up.

1 1. Everyone got off. (Li Chenggong is on the phone)

Niu Geng: Hey, boss, where are you going by taxi? Let's go together.

Li Chenggong: Don't follow me.

Niu Geng: Have a nice trip.

Li Chenggong: I met a crow's mouth and followed me all the way.

12. The car is on its way.

Li Chenggong: What's the matter? Why don't you leave?

Niu Geng: Master, is your car broken?

Li Chenggong: You shut up.

Niu Geng: Hey, boss, when did you get on this bus?

Driver: The car is not dead, but the road ahead is blocked.

13. Niu Geng solved the trouble for Li Chenggong and went back to the car.

Li Chenggong: What's the matter? Can we go now?

Driver: This time, it was a big fall. The fire is completely out, and I can't walk.

Niu Geng: Boss, we are very lucky. The village chief said to arrange a car to take us to Hankou.

14. Li Chenggong was going to go home by bus, but he was blocked by the bridge and left his wallet in the car, but he met Niu Geng who was cheated.

Li Chenggong: How much did you pay?

Niu Geng: I gave them all.

Li Chenggong: Did someone send it back to you? Can't you read people's eyes? Say something to you.

Niu Geng: Didn't you leave? Why did you come back?

Li Chenggong: Do you care? A fool like you deserves to be cheated, you know?

Niu Geng: Yes.

Li Chenggong: Hey, you better keep your mouth shut.

Niu Geng: It feels good to be cheated. Cheating means that no one is sick and no one is better.

Li Chenggong: I'm in your hands again. All right, I'll treat you to dinner. Where is my wallet? no

Niu Geng: Have you lost your wallet?

Li Chenggong: If you say you lost it, you must have lost it. Let's go.

Niu Geng: Boss, how on earth did you get back?

Li Chenggong: Don't ask.

Niu Geng: Is the road ahead closed?

Li Chenggong: You shut up. 80 yuan is all I have left in my pocket now. Just give us a standard room.

Niu Geng: Let's sleep at the station and keep the money for the road.

Li Chenggong: Stop it, stop it.

Niu Geng: What a waste, what a waste.

Li Chenggong: Stop it. (Coming to the counter) How much is your cheapest standard room for one night?

Front desk: sixty-one nights. Open one?

Li Chenggong: Open one.

Front Desk: Do you two men share a room?

Li Chenggong: Open one.

Niu Geng: Hurry up, I'm sleepy.

Front Desk: No, you two men.

Li Chenggong: Yes, open one. Go on, hurry up.

In the hotel room.

Li Chenggong: Oh, shit, a bed. (Go to the service personnel. Don't succeed, go back to your room)

Niu Geng: Boss, sleep here. This is a big place.

Li Chenggong: How did you sleep?

Niu Geng: Let's sleep together.

(In the bathroom, Li Chenggong turns on the tap, and the water flow is very small; Take a towel and the hook will fall off; Twist the valve and fall into the toilet.

Li Chenggong: Li Chenggong, what did you do?

(Back to the room, Niu Geng has fallen asleep)

Niu Geng: @ # ￥ @ #%

Li Chenggong: What?

Niu Geng: # @ @ Mutton

Li Chenggong: What? Psycho, talk in your sleep, the mutton is sold out.

Niu Geng: Boss, you should eat some green onions for aphrodisiac.

Li Chenggong: Eat, eat, all the green onions are yours.

Niu Geng: Waiter, please give me the chicken.

Li Chenggong: Yes, eat chicken after eating green onions.

Niu Geng: Boss, where do you sleep? You can sleep here quickly. The bed is warm for you.

Li Chenggong: You can sleep in the bed. I will sleep here. Don't say that.

Niu Geng: You can't sleep there. Come here quickly.

Li Chenggong: I'll sleep here. Don't say that.

Niu Geng: You can't sleep with the bed. Where do you sleep?

Li Chenggong: Stop it, I'm going to bed. hey ......

Suddenly I heard ... snow, and ................................. Li Chenggong fell to the ground.

Niu Geng: You didn't believe me when I said you couldn't sleep.

Li Chenggong: Wake up, wake up, wake up, you wake up. What's the matter with you? You sleep naked.

Niu Geng: Sleeping naked is very comfortable.

Li Chenggong: What are the conditions for playing naked sleep? Put it on, put it on, put it on.

Niu Geng: People are used to it.

Li Chenggong: Put it on, put it on.

16. Li Chenggong heard the sound and knocked on the door of the next room angrily.

(The passenger opens the door with a long knife)

G: Why?

Li Chenggong sees a man with tattoos all over his back and gives him a look. )

G: What's wrong?

Li Chenggong: Isn't this 223?

G: this is 2 16.

Li Chenggong: Sorry, I knocked at the wrong door. Good night

Li Chenggong finally returns to her room and lies safely in bed, but she hears someone calling her. )

Woman: Elder sister, please don't persuade me. That man is really annoying. I have to report to him every day about food, drink and clothes. I'm so tired. Isn't he going to arrest him? I asked him to get a shovel. How could he not find me? No matter where I hide, he will definitely catch me out. He was eavesdropping when I left. I specially emphasized the name and room number of this hotel. It's not my fault that I look like Fan Bingbing. Why does he call me fox every day? When people buy things at my counter and talk to me more, he will say that I seduce others. How can I seduce others? That's hilarious. Anyway, my sleeping pills are ready. If he comes to make fun of me, I will take them away. I'm joking with you. I'm stupid. I really took sleeping pills. I'm only in my twenties and I'm alive and well. I see. Don't worry. Goodbye. (Wang Xiaobao pushes through the door) Yo, here you are. I said you were a detective. You arrived so soon. Ah, you are Sherlock Holmes.

Wang Xiaobao: Honey, don't get me wrong. I'm not here to catch rape. I am here. I don't trust you out there alone.

W: You shouldn't worry. I have a handsome boy in my hand, do you know? Handsome, handsome and rich, the key is temperament.

Wang Xiaobao: Say angry words.

Woman: Don't be shameless. Who's talking to you angrily? Turn on the light for you and let me see your dog eyes. Come on, let's go in and have a look. Adulter, adulterer.

Wang Xiaobao: Honey, calm down, calm down.

Woman: Where is my adulterer? He was lying naked in bed with me just now. It's gone.

Wang Xiaobao: No adulterer. Calm down.

Woman: In the cupboard, in the cupboard, the adulterer, the adulterer, in the upper cupboard, the adulterer.

Wang Xiaobao: I don't usually climb that high.

W: Not necessarily. What if it is a monkey? What about the bathroom? Adulter, adulterer

Wang Xiaobao: Honey, calm down.

W: Take a look and see if it's there.

Wang Xiaobao: Who's there? There is no one here at all.

Woman: No one. Where could anyone be?

Woman: Under the bed, adulterer, adulterer, adulterer, where have you been? Open it and have a look.

Wang Xiaobao: OK, OK, open it.

Woman: Of course, Wang Xiaobao, it's really embarrassing for you to lift it.

Wang Xiaobao: Then I won't lift it.

Woman: You can't lift it. How can you prove my innocence if you don't mention it? Lift it.

Wang Xiaobao: Honey, should I lift it?

Woman: Do you want me to take sleeping pills or not?

Wang Xiaobao: OK, OK, I'll lift it, I'll lift it, I'll lift it, you see it's lifted, no, look at my bed board. Right there.

Wang Xiaobao: Where is it? crack a joke

W: It's behind the curtain.

Wang Xiaobao: Honey, have a rest.

Female: adulterer

Wang Xiaobao: Have a rest.

Woman: What about behind the curtain?

Wang Xiaobao: Honey, I was wrong about you. I was wrong about you. i am not a human being ! I was wrong about you. You are innocent. You are innocent.

W: Don't jump to conclusions so early. You didn't even look at this curtain. How do you know I'm innocent? What if it's behind the curtain? Ah, here he comes!

Wang Xiaobao: Look, look, no, my wife, don't be angry. Go home. Just go home (a shoe falls from the sky)

Li Chenggong: I said I was in the wrong room. Do you believe me?

Niu Geng: Boss, why are you sleeping here? I can't see you when I say it. I thought you went to buy steamed bread to eat. When did you sleep here?

Li Chenggong: Why should I sleep here? Do you know why I sleep here? If you hadn't slept naked, ground your teeth, burped and farted, would I have run out? What do you do?

Niu Geng: Nothing.

Li Chenggong: What exactly do you do?

Niu Geng: The milkman.

Li Chenggong: You were sent by God to punish me. You said the plane would come down as soon as it came down, and you said the train would stop as soon as it stopped. I finally left you on the bus, turned around and drove back. I find you a demon. You are the only good person in the world, aren't you? There is truth in the world, right? I knocked on the door for 40 minutes last night. Can't you hear me?

Niu Geng: I heard that.

Li Chenggong: I heard that. Won't you drive it for me?

Niu Geng: I thought it was a dream. I dreamed that I was eating hot pot, and there was a decoration team next door. It's too noisy. It's you.

Li Chenggong: Step aside.

17. They finally got on the ferry and set foot on the road ahead.

Niu Geng: Boss, look how yellow the Yellow River is.

Li Chenggong: Brother, this is the Yangtze River.

18. Self-reported "liar" experience

Li Chenggong: Why are you running?

Teacher: You won't believe me unless I bring you. My boyfriend and I are both teachers at Shuguang Primary School. He teaches art. These children are orphans, even more pitiful than those who have no money to go to school. We promised our children that when spring came, we would take them to see rape flowers and sketch, and then my boyfriend and I would buy paints and drawing boards for our children. There was an accident on the way back. My boyfriend left and his face was ruined. That child is particularly pitiful. She suffers from congenital retinal detachment. Even with surgery, the chance of seeing again is only 40%. I have an appointment with my boyfriend, and when her eyes get better, we will get married. I especially want to cure her eyes. I especially want to take her to see rape blossoms. I think I should stick to it, no matter what, but I really can't. When I met you that day, I had no money on me. The child was lying on the operating table, and the hospital waited until the limit. I'm really desperate You don't believe I'm right. Because I'm a liar. The only thing I did wrong in my life was to lie to you. But, but that ID card is real. You are my benefactor. Thank you.

18. They won the first prize in the lottery with 4 yuan money-a van, and set foot on the journey home again.

Niu Geng: Boss, I'll drive.

Li Chenggong: No.

Niu Geng: Why?

Li Chenggong: If you drive, we'll never get there.

Niu Geng: You just don't believe me?

Li Chenggong: Yes.

Niu Geng: Why? You see, first, there is only one road ahead, and you can't go wrong; Second, you didn't sleep well last night, but I did. Third, ... there is no third. Look, it's not safe for you to drive like this. There will be problems.

Li Chenggong: Then I will wake up and change it in ten minutes.

Niu Geng: OK, you go to sleep. Get some sleep.

Li Chenggong: How long did I sleep? I slept for two and a half hours Where are we? (Niu Geng's voice answers him) Wake up, wake up, are you asleep?

Niu Geng: No, I didn't sleep.

Li Chenggong: You snored.

Niu Geng: I didn't hear that.

Li Chenggong and Niu Geng: Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(overturned)

Li Chenggong: What's that noise?

Niu Geng: Boss, it's gasoline. Come on. This car is going to explode. Come on.

Li Chenggong: Shut the fuck up and find a way out.

Niu Geng: Boss, the car won't open and the luggage can't be moved.

Li Chenggong: Don't worry about the luggage. Can you save people first? Can you stop dragging your clothes? You are dragging people there.

Niu Geng: It's going to explode. Hurry up!

Li Chenggong: You shut up.

Niu Geng: Come on, come on, it's going to explode. Come on. . .

Niu Geng: It's different from American blockbusters!

Li Chenggong: Who said that a rollover would definitely explode?

Niu Geng: Boss, do you still hate me?

Li Chenggong: I'm used to it.

19. Five minutes before the New Year, they had a heart-to-heart talk around the bonfire.

Li Chenggong: You are a treasure chest. You have everything. What condiments do you have?

Niu Geng: Yes, come on, here, spicy beef, Flammulina velutipes.

Li Chenggong: Do you have seafood?

Niu Geng: This is seafood.

Li Chenggong: Great.

Niu Geng: This is pepper.

Li Chenggong: Ask, it smells so good.

Niu Geng: This is vinegar. Put some vinegar in it.

Li Chenggong: It would be more beautiful if I could have a sip of wine now.

Niu Geng: Wait a minute.

Li Chenggong: Really?

Niu Geng: Yes.

Li Chenggong: Great. You can have whatever you want.

Li Chenggong: I never dreamed that it would be China's New Year to light a bonfire and eat instant noodles here with you in this place where birds don't lay eggs.

Niu Geng: Yes, boss. How can you remember me?

Li Chenggong: Listen to how quiet it is.

Niu Geng: Boss, I'm not saying I'm hardworking or lucky. I just crow. Really. Frankly speaking, there are still many good people in this world. You see, we met all the good people along the way. Boss, when I met you, I thought you were really nice.

Li Chenggong: Do you think I am a good person?

Niu Geng: I think it's good.

Li Chenggong: My employees don't think so.

Niu Geng: Why? Are you so successful?

Li Chenggong: Did I succeed?

Niu Geng: How successful are you? You did not succeed!

Li Chenggong: I call it success. You see, as a boss, a person also has a lot of work. Is it easy for me to earn some money by intrigue? Hundreds of employees are waiting for me to feed. They nicknamed me the wolf behind my back.

Niu Geng: Why, why?

Li Chenggong: I'm not a good son either. I wasn't with my dad when he left. I am not a good father either. I went to my daughter's school for a parent-teacher meeting, and their class teacher didn't know me. As a husband, I dare not tell my wife to find a mistress behind her back; As a lover, I can't give anyone any results, and I'm not a good lover. In fact, I am a loser, and suddenly I find that my life is almost the same as these two days.

Niu Geng: So your feelings for your sister-in-law are true or false?

Li Chenggong: Of course it's true.

Niu Geng: What about the mistress?

Li Chenggong: That's also true.

Niu Geng: Why are they both like this? What about this?

Li Chenggong: I don't know.

Niu Geng: Then think about it.

Niu Geng: Boss, I can't do it. I hurt my foot and I can't walk.

Li Chenggong: What should I do?

Niu Geng: You carried me for a while.

Li Chenggong: What?

Niu Geng: Let me help you with your luggage. You can carry me for a while.

Li Chenggong: I'll carry you and you carry the luggage. Isn't that still on me?

Niu Geng: Don't worry, boss. I'm sure we can get on the bus later.

Li Chenggong: Come on, big brother, it's just your crow mouth.

Niu Geng: Who has a crow's mouth?

Li Chenggong: Why don't you crow?

Niu Geng: Then I didn't say this rollover. If I am really a crow, I hope a car is so bumpy now. Do you think it will come? Do you think it will come? (Dong ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Li Chenggong: I'm coming. Cow egg, you don't listen to my advice, you talk nonsense, and don't make amends to the boss quickly.

Owner: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Li Chenggong: How about it? Shouldn't you admit that you are a demon?

Niu Geng: This is a demon. Anyway, I'm not a bad devil.

Li Chenggong: I ran very fast just now. My leg is fine.

20. Finally arrived in Changsha. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . O(∩_∩)O~

Li Chenggong: OK, that's it. Good luck in debt collection.

Niu Geng: Boss, I wish you and your second sister-in-law an early marriage. . . No, I want you and your sister-in-law

Li Chenggong: Come on, stop it, you crow mouth.

Niu Geng: Happy.

Li Chenggong: Niu Dan, you are a lucky general. I wish you happiness forever.

2 1. In the evening, it's time for a showdown. . . Only Li Chenggong and Xiaoli.

Xiaoli: Guoguo is asleep. A girl has been following me these two days, and she is very beautiful. She thought I didn't know, but I had already found out. She wrote you a letter and put it in the flower bed at the door. Take a look! I didn't read it.

22. Manny's letter

Success:

When I read this letter, I thought we had broken up. Sorry, forgive me for being so headstrong. Remember I told you I couldn't wait. I couldn't wait any longer, so I came. I used to think that I was the woman who loved you the most in the world. I didn't know until I got to your house that I was just a naive girl. See your virtuous wife and lovely daughter. I see, I can never take their place in your life. I know it's time to give in. Half a year with you is my happiest time. I'll miss it. When I grow up, there is my way ahead, and I will go on well.

Goodbye, Wolf!

Still love your beautiful sheep.

Tolerance is a kind of love. . . . . A moment of tears

Xiaoli: Are you all right?

Li Chenggong: I'm fine. Sorry, I have a lot to say to you.

Xiaoli: Go home.

24. A year later, on the plane.

Li Chenggong: Miss.

Stewardess: What can I do for you, sir?

Li Chenggong: Why haven't you flown for so long?

Stewardess: There is still one person who hasn't boarded the plane.

Li Chenggong: It's been 40 minutes since the departure time!

Stewardess: His luggage has arrived, but no one has arrived yet.

Li Chenggong: What passengers are so unreliable?

Stewardess: Everyone is free now. Last time I met a passenger, when the plane flew halfway, let's open the window.

Stewardess 2: Welcome aboard.

Niu Geng: Hey, boss.