We are going to have a PARTY in our class on New Year's Day. I want a sketch script. The funnier the better, about 5 or 6 minutes. There are three boys and three or four girls.

scene: there is a massage table on the left side of the stage and a plastic stool at the head of the bed. There are two chairs and a tea table on the right, with a glass of water, a plate of melon seeds and a citrus on it. There is a pen and a box of red and blue inkpad hidden in the pillow, and an acupoint map is hung in the background.

Personnel: Captain Hu (hereinafter referred to as Hu), the fat boss (hereinafter referred to as Fat)

Blind massage girl (hereinafter referred to as Blind), the massage girl Xiaohong (hereinafter referred to as Red)

Hu: (Fat sat in the chair eating melon seeds, and Hu came to the stage drunk with watermelon in his arms) These days, I was in charge of cracking down on pornography and illegal publications, and the bosses all scared the dogs and chickens, and this family shouted to eat. After the banquet, there were gifts, which made my family's fruits rotten. (Hiccups twice) (looks up) Hey, massage parlor, hehe, I don't press white. (stepping through the door) Hey, boss, have you been groping around here recently?

Pang: (getting up quickly) Oh, it's Captain Hu. This is an authentic massage parlor, so we can't "grope".

Hu: Hey, look, you're so scared when I say something casually. I'm just here for a routine inspection.

Fat: Routine check-up is needed again. Why do you come to my place every time?

Hu: Hum, the situation is grim, so we should check it frequently. My routine check-up is very simple. Ask your young lady to pinch my whole body. This routine, routine, is enough.

Fat: Oh, Captain Hu, unfortunately, I can't afford the whole salary here, and all the ladies are gone.

Hu: what? Gone? (harshly) Then you don't want to run this massage parlor. (a meal) No one, you have to give birth to one for me even if you give birth right away.

Fat: Oh, what you say is so easy. Can people be born if they are fat? Ok, ok, I'll do something for you.

Hu: hurry up. (Drunk and smoked, I went to the bed and put the watermelon on the bed, but people slipped to the ground and fell asleep by the bed)

Fat: (Turning to the audience before stepping down) This captain Hu, relying on his power, grabbed and cheated everywhere. Today, I don't care so much. Just see how I can clean him up.

(When she gets fat, a blind girl wearing sunglasses comes up from the background, with a stick in her hand. She knocks a few times left and a few times right, and slowly hits Hu's leg hard)

Hu: (exclaiming) Ah ~ Ah ~!

Blindness: (Stand back, Sichuan-style Mandarin) Oh, what was that screaming in surprise just now?

Hu: what? What do you say it is?

Blind: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Are you the captain of the "cleaning" team?

Hu: Why clean up the team? Oh, it's a team to eliminate pornography and illegal publications. Hey, what do you do?

Blindness: I'm Tiao, who was called by my boss and mother to give you a massage.

Hu: a massage? (waving his hand in front of the blind girl) Oh, the blind man massages. Well, I'll do it once today. (reclining on the bed)

Blind: Then lie down and I'll press it for you right away. (The blind girl put down her stick, groped her way to Liu's head and sat down. She put her hands on the watermelon at once and began to massage. She pressed it a few times and asked in surprise.) Hey, captain, you are so clever when you are an official. You have no hair at all!

Hu: (looking up in surprise, a little dumbfounding, imitating the Chuanpu language of a blind girl) Hey, Miss, I have no hair on my head, eyes and nose.

Blind: No way. (Hands back in fear, and then boldly touched the watermelon up and down, exclaiming) Oh, you, are you ruined?

Hu: You've just been disfigured. You pressed my watermelon, and my skull is on this side.

Blind: Oh, it's watermelon, so I'll put half of it for you. Captain, lie down a little. (I stood up with watermelon in my arms and turned around to grope for it on the coffee table behind me, and then turned back to grope for the stool to sit down. As a result, I didn't sit upright and fell to the ground, grabbing Hu's hair by hand)

Hu: Ouch, you, you, what are you doing pulling my hair?

Blind: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't sit still just now, and I caught you by accident. (After sitting upright, secretly dip some blue pigment in your palm, gently press your head with your fingertips, and apply the pigment around Hu's eyes halfway) < P > Hu: Hey, miss, this massage requires a touch, so why don't you just touch it?

Blind: Oh, yes, I'll press it right away. (pressing down hard on Hu's eyes)

Hu: (suddenly screaming with pain) Ouch, my eyes. Why don't you stick your fingers and thumbs in my eyes? Ouch. (Get up and show the "panda eye" to the audience) You see, according to this method, it is totally intended to turn me into a blind person. Forget it, forget it, you go down and forget it.

Blind: OK, then I'll go down. Ha

(This is one)

Xiao Dan: Well, after graduating from college for more than ten years, it was difficult for students in those years to meet. Some had money and some had no money. The poor didn't run away from the rich, and the rich and the poor were speechless. Students' feelings can't be wasted, so we have a class reunion today, just to exchange feelings, regardless of whether we are drunk or not, hehe. (tidying up the house)

Noodles: Xiao Dan, why are you still busy? Cook quickly. Old classmates are coming soon. Hey, I still have to tell you a few words: it's not too late today. Remember that Zhao Weifeng is the focus of today's party. He is now the manager of Xin's enterprise, and he is 1% rich. If we make him happy today, then we will hold on to the golden rice bowl, hahahaha!

Xiao Dan: Why are you so greedy? Do classmates also have to talk about money?

Miscellaneous noodles: Xiao Dan, why are you so ignorant? Classmates, students are the same, but they study differently. If he didn't study hard, he couldn't be angry with us if he was poor. If he studied hard, his money proved that he worked hard. You're like Xinjingshui in those days. It's quite a toss-up. You took part in many activities, but you didn't study hard. I heard that you lost your job after graduation. Now you are farming at home. Why do you think this is?

Xiao Dan: Xin Jingshui is also a classmate. You can't favor one over the other.

Noodles: Ah, yes, you once had a love affair with Xin Jingshui. No wonder you have been defending him. Don't make love in front of me, and don't blame me for letting him stop eating!

Dan: You! Hum! (angry) (Da Zamian sits down and reads the newspaper)

Xiaoshi: (answers the phone) Outside! I'm Zhao Weifeng. Oh, manager Xin, don't worry about coming to Da Zamian's home for a reunion. I'll make it clear and plain. Good-bye!

(knocking) Open the door!

mixed noodles: here we are, hello, and who are you?

Xiaoshi: I'm Zhao Weifeng!

big mixed noodles: Wei Feng, alas! (Hug) I miss you so much. We haven't seen each other for ten years. I miss you so much! How is your mother?

Xiaoshi: Not bad!

mixed noodles: how is your father?

Xiaoshi: Not bad!

noodles: how is everything at home?

Xiaoshi: Not bad!

(Xiao Dan comes out)

Xiao Dan: ouch! Small stone!

Stone: Huh? Who are you?

big mixed noodles: small stones? Hey? This is Zhao Weifeng, Manager Zhao. How can you ...

Xiao Dan: Ah, it's Manager Zhao, so sit down and talk!

(Zhao Weifeng's cell phone rings and answers the phone)

Xiaoshitou: Outside, manager Xin! What? Ok, I'll be right there!

old classmate, there is something in my company that I have to go there at once, ok? Let's get together again sometime!

(below Zhao Weifeng)

Miscellaneous noodles: It's over, it's over, he's gone, what else is there for this reunion? Jiaozi, come and have tea!

(getting on the bus, knocking at the door)

Xiao Dan: Who is it?

Laoganba: Me!

Xiao Dan: Old Dunbar?

Laoganba: Xiao Dan? Eh?

Xiao Dan: Eh!

mixed noodles: who's Xiao Dan?

Xiao Dan: Come on in, Dunbar! Junyan, look who's here.

Noodles: Ah, send the gas tank, put it inside!

Xiao Dan: He looks like our old classmate Laoganba.

Noodles: Laoganba? Which old SOD?

Old SOD: Don't you know me? Big noodles? You forgot me, I remember you!

big noodles: My name is Zhang Junyan, not big noodles. Sit inside (disdainfully).

Xiao Dan: (holding the hand of the old dry bar) What are you doing now, old dry bar? I haven't seen you for a long time.

Laoganba: Ah, my ...

Noodles: Cough! Xiao Dan, you go and boil some water!

laoganba: big mixed noodles! No, Zhang Junyan, what are you doing now

mixed noodles: ah, nothing! Just a few small projects!

Laoganba: What project?

Big Miscellaneous Noodles: Ah, nothing, that is, heating the Polaris, shallowing the Pacific Ocean, cloning a North Korea, and then filling the black hole.

laoganba: aye! Then you are quite busy!

mixed noodles: hehe, just so-so! Old classmate, what are you busy writing?

Laoganba: Compared with you, I am far from encouraging crops all day.

Noodles: (Proud) That's ok, you can handle one or two thousand a year!

Laoganba: No, it's only eight or nine hundred to ten thousand a year!

mixed noodles: ah, eight or nine hundred? Wan? I'm not saying you're an old SOD. What are you bragging about with me? Ah, we all came out of the countryside in those days. Who doesn't know how much we earn a year, huh? What difficulties do you have come to me? What are you pretending to be? It's not that I can't help you. I have hundreds of thousands of family businesses now, and I have several bicycles alone. You can push that' 89 one away later. It's okay. Don't be tired of walking all the time. Ride it!

Laoganba: Well, I'm not walking!

miscellaneous noodles: riding an inverted donkey? That thing is more tired and painful, not as good as a bike!

Old Gamba: It's not ...

(On Xiao Dan)

Xiao Dan: What are you talking about? Come and drink water!

miscellaneous noodles: Xiao Dan, take some of our rags to the old dry bar. It's too expensive to buy clothes.

Xiao Dan: Hey!

(Xiao Dan takes out a dress)

Noodles: Are you going to take my dress?

Xiao Dan: Then you won't tell it to Laoganba?

noodles: I said the ones you stuffed in the radiator!

Dan: Is it still wearable?

miscellaneous noodles: how can he still dislike us?

Laoganba: It's all right, old classmates, always old classmates!

Xiao Dan: You haven't eaten yet, have you, old Dunbar?

mixed noodles: yeah! How can people not eat when they are old and dry? Besides, the vegetable oil in our house is too big, can the old dry bar get used to it? What can I do if I have diarrhea later? Pack some steamed buns for the old Ganba and take them away. Maybe the old Ganba is in a hurry!

Xiao Dan: Zhang Junyan, are you going a little too far?

Laoganba: Well, it's all right, Xiao Dan. Jun Yan, you are busy. I'll go first!

(Zhao Weifeng knocks at the door)

Noodles: Who is this? Stop this!

(opens the door)

Noodles: Aye! Wei Feng! Oh, you miss me so much. Great. Xiao Dan is cooking quickly. Don't go today. Stay here!

Xiaoshi: No, is our director here?

miscellaneous noodles: director? No!

Laoganba: (Come here) Xiaoshi, is everything done?

Xiaoshi: Brother Xin, it's done. Foreign investors will directly allocate 2 million yuan!

Laoganba: OK, let's go!

mixed noodles: Brother Xin! Oh, I miss you so much! Great, Xiao Dan, go and buy seafood. Brother Xin, don't go today. I'll book a hotel for you! Hey, make Longjing for Brother Xin. What are you doing with this rag? Brother Xin, sit down!

Laoganba: Jun Yan ...

Da Noodles: Brother Xin, you'd better call me Da Noodles kind!

Laoganba: Do you remember that you used to call noodles? Do you remember how you got your name?

miso: of course, when I was young, my family was poor. I took a cornmeal to school every day. My classmates called me miso, but no one looked down on me. They all came to help me!

Laoganba: At that time, I brought a sugar steamed bread to school every day, and I always exchanged it for your mixed noodles. It's not that I like to eat miscellaneous noodles, but I want you to know that there are feelings in the world besides money! Jun Yan, you can invite seafood and stay in a hotel for Chairman Xin, and you won't even stay a little longer for the old dry bar? Old classmates, old classmates, even if we have more money, we can't forget our old classmates!

big mixed noodles: old ganba! Woo-

(2nd)