Why do children sleep in separate beds from their parents?

When children are young, parents usually choose to sleep with their children for convenience, which is understandable.

However, as children grow up, parents must resolutely share beds and separate rooms with their children, especially with children of the opposite sex.

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Adult women and their parents stayed in the hotel, and three of them were refused a standard room.

Recently, some netizens posted that they and their parents went to other places to play, and had booked the standard room of the hotel online before. But when they checked in, the hotel staff said that all three of them were adults and could not live in the same room.

This netizen is very puzzled and dissatisfied. He took his parents out to play for so many days. Like playing in other places, he has never met a family that is not allowed to live in a room. Such a rule really puzzled him: how should a family of three go out to play? Book a hotel room.

In this regard, the majority of netizens have expressed their views, and most of them support this netizen, thinking that the hotel is too inhuman and looks "interest first".

But in fact, looking at this matter in reverse, isn't it essentially for profit and "saving money" for three adults to live in one room?

And three adults live in the same room, even the parents, the girl who posted the post, still have to consider the problem of "men avoid their mothers and women avoid their fathers".

Boundless affection will reduce children's ability to protect.

I still remember a variety show I brushed before, in which the mode of getting along with a mother and son made me feel incredible.

In the program, the girl said that her 27-year-old boyfriend will still sleep in the same bed with his mother, and her mother will help him take a bath when he takes a shower, and even blow kisses to each other when he goes out.

In the face of his girlfriend's complaints, his boyfriend thinks it is a good expression of his relationship with his mother, and even ridicules his girlfriend for not being grateful.

It is understandable that parents love their children, but like the boy above, they think that children are too close to their parents and it is easy to reduce their self-protection ability.

In the psychology of sex education, there is a term called "hidden sexual assault". It means that parents hinder the normal development of children's sexual psychology in the name of love, thus blurring children's feelings about physical boundaries.

In the American education system, there is a famous "twenty yards rule", which means that parents and children should keep at least a distance of "twenty yards".

Growing up, my father and sister have never been to kisses and hugs. Since primary school, my sister and I have been sleeping in a room alone. My father won't come into our room at all, because he has nothing necessary, so he will call us outside if there is anything.

This doesn't mean that our relationship with our father is not good. On the contrary, both sisters are very dependent on their father, but mentally dependent. When you encounter problems that you can't handle, you will call home for the first time to ask.

Although it is said that "my daughter is my father's last lover", it is still difficult for me to understand that she is obviously an adult and still sleeps with her father or mother.

At the age of 3, children's gender awareness began to sprout, and the awareness of "differences between men and women" began to increase, recognizing that everyone has their own privacy.

Therefore, when children are 3 years old, parents should pay attention to the distance between them, so that "women avoid their fathers and children avoid their mothers".

With the gradual growth of age, parents should pay attention to the "psychological distance" with their children, reduce the interference in their lives and avoid giving them a sense of bondage.

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Parent-child relationship can not be separated from "appropriate limits"

Chinese traditional culture holds that "parents are born with bodies". Since parents gave birth to children, children have no privacy in front of their parents.

Teacher Wu Zhihong, a psychologist, said: "China families are often students, and the boundary between parents and children is very vague." .

Obviously, this kind of family relationship is abnormal. Even if they are close to each other, parents and children should keep an appropriate distance, and it is best to keep an appropriate distance from their children.

The definition of "sense of boundary" in The Art of Getting along is this: the inner self-boundary between people.

The same is true for parents and children in their daily lives. As children grow up, the boundaries between parents and children should also be kept at an appropriate distance and "alienated" appropriately.

Although many people are adults, their thoughts are still in infancy. It is a strange process for their children or parents to establish a sense of boundaries. So how do you establish boundaries with your parents and make yourself a mature and confident adult?

Here you can try to divide your living space into four parts: private space, personal space, social space and public space.

When children live with their parents, we first need to know which space we put their parents in, so that we can know when to share and when not to cross the line.

After that, I got rid of the collective, family and others in cognition and emotion, and realized that I was independent of others.

Even the closest parents and children can't occupy each other's time and energy for a long time and let each other feel their value as individuals.

Secondly, we should also learn to say "no" to parents, so that the boundaries between parents will not be easily broken by adult children. Only by respecting each other can our lives be harmonious.

Nothing is absolute, as long as it is reasonable and not dogmatic. what do you think? Welcome everyone to chat in the comment area.