It's like water disappearing into water. Who wrote it?

The original words were written by Borges in another book Death: "Death is like water disappearing into water."

Just like water disappears into water.

This metaphor is quite clever and has extraordinary power. On this point, the writer Yu Hua has made a detailed analysis in Borges in Reality. What Yu Hua appreciates more is another sentence by Borges: "The firing squad knocked him down with four times the bullet." Borges is extremely sensitive to language and can accurately capture it, which stems from his serious study and exploration of language.

Death again

Borges

About two years ago (I couldn't find the original letter), Gannon wrote to me from Gua Lai Gua Yi Chu, saying that a poem "The Past" sent to me by Ralph Waldo Emerson might be the first Spanish translation, and said in a postscript that Don Pedro Damian, whom I might remember, died of lung congestion the other night. When the man was delirious with a high fever, he seemed to have bled and died in the battle of Masorel again; This news seems to me to be expected, not unexpected, because Don Pedro was already fighting under aparicio Salabia when he was nineteen or twenty years old. During the 1904 revolution, he worked as an employee in a manor in Rionegro or Paisandu. Pedro is a native of Gualeguaichu, entre rios province. He joined the army with his friends, as brave and ignorant as they are. He experienced some scuffles and final battles; 1905, he returned to the field and continued to do his hard and humble farm work. As far as I know, he hasn't left this province since then. In the past 30 years, he spent his time in a very remote place one or two leagues away from An Kai. 1942 One afternoon, I chatted with him in that desolate place. He is a man of few words and no imagination. His account of the battle of Ma sorrell is limited to the shouting and fierceness of killing; It doesn't surprise me that he seems to return to the battlefield at the moment of his death ... I know I'll never see Damian again, and I want to remember him. I can't remember what he looks like. I only remember a photo taken by Gannon. This is not surprising, because I have only seen him once at the beginning of 1942, but I have seen his picture many times. Gannon sent me that photo. I don't know where it is, and I haven't found it. I dare not look for it.

The second thing happened in Montevideo a few months later. Entre Rios man's high fever and dying pain made me feel that I could write a wonderful story about Marcel's failure. I told Emile Rodrí guez Monegal what I thought, and he wrote a letter introducing me to Colonel Dionisio tabarez, who was in charge of this activity. One night after dinner, the colonel met me. He sat on the canvas chair in the yard, recalling the past time in a messy and affectionate way. He talked about lack of ammunition, tired horses, soldiers covered in dust and unable to keep their eyes open, as if marching in a maze. Salabia could have entered Montevideo, but he didn't, "because gauchos was afraid when he saw the city". He also talked about the plight of soldiers with their throats cut. The civil war he described sounds to me not like a conflict between the two armies, but like a nightmare of escape. He talked about Ileska, Tupanbe and Ma sorrell. He told everything so vividly that I think he has said these things many times, and his words don't need to be recalled at all. I finally mentioned Damian's name during his halftime.

"Damian? Pedro Damian? " The colonel said. "He is under my command. He is a native of duct tape, and his brothers call him an employee. " He smiled, then suddenly stopped, pretending or really feeling unhappy.

He said in another tone that war, like a woman, is a test for men, and no one can say whether he was a hero before he went to war. People who think they are cowards may be brave; People who think they are brave may also be cowards. Poor Damian is like this. He went in and out of the hotel wearing the sign of White Party, but later he became the pustule of Ma sorrell. There was a gun battle with an alcoholic. He looks like a man, but he is far from it on the battlefield. On the battlefield, the two armies confronted each other and began to have sex. Everyone thought that 5,000 people had joined forces to kill him. The poor little aborigine, who always takes a sheep bath, was suddenly involved in the Great Patriotic War. ...

Tabarez's introduction made me feel inexplicably ashamed. This is not what I expected. After talking to old Damian one afternoon many years ago, I couldn't help but create some kind of idol; Tabarez's statement shattered it. I suddenly realized the reason why Damian was quiet and withdrawn; What prompted him to do this was not modesty, but shame. I have repeatedly convinced myself that a person troubled by cowardice is much more complicated and interesting than a simple and brave person, but it doesn't help. I don't think Gauchos Martin Fiero is as impressive as Master Jim or Rasimov. It doesn't matter, but as gauchos, Damian has the responsibility to be Martin Fiero-especially in front of Uruguayan gauchos. From Tabarez's words and between the lines, I noticed the roughness of the so-called Artigas Doctrine: a feeling that Uruguay is more important than our country, so it is braver ... I remember we said goodbye warmly that night.

In winter, the story could not be finished, and one or two things were still missing, so I had to go to tabarez's house again. Accompanied by an elderly gentleman: Dr. juan francisco amaro, Pasando, he also participated in the revolution led by Salabia. The topic naturally talked about Marcelle. Amaro mentioned some anecdotes, and then slowly said as if to himself:

"I remember that we camped at St. Eloni Manor and some people came to join our team. Among them, a French veterinarian died on the eve of the battle, and a young man named Pedro Damian was shearing wool in Entre Rios. "

I rudely interrupted him.

"I already know," I said. "Argentine shot in a tourist trap."

I stopped; They both looked at me inexplicably.

"You are wrong, sir," amaro finally said. "Pedro Damian is desperate. It was four o'clock in the afternoon. Red infantry occupied the top of the mountain; Our troops attacked the hill with spears: Damian shouted first, and a bullet hit him in the chest. He stood in the stirrup, stopped breathing, then turned over and fell under the chaotic horseshoe. He died instantly, and Ma sorrell stepped on his last foot. He was so brave that he died before he was twenty. "

There is no doubt that he is talking about another Damian, and it suddenly occurred to me to ask the native what he was shouting at that time.

"Swear," said the colonel. "Everyone swears when charging."

"Maybe so," amaro said. "But he also shouted, Long live Urqueza!"

We all kept silent. Colonel finally murmured:

"It's not like fighting in sorrell, but it's like fighting in Kagancha or Muetta a century ago."

He said with puzzle:

"I am the commander of those troops, but I swear, this is the first time I have heard of a soldier named Damian."

We can't remind him of this situation.

In Buenos Aires, I was once again surprised by his forgetfulness. One afternoon, in the basement of Mitchell English Bookstore, I was leafing through eleven delightful books by Emerson when I met Patricio Gannon. I asked him about his translation of the past. He said he had no plans to translate. Besides, Spanish literature is boring enough, so there is no need to introduce Emerson. I reminded him that in his letter to me, he said that he would send me a Spanish translation, and he also mentioned the news of Damian's death. He asked me who Damian was. I told him, but he doesn't remember anything. I was horrified to notice that he was very surprised when I talked about it, so I changed the subject and discussed with him Emerson's attacker. As a poet, Emerson is more complicated, more sophisticated and therefore more unique than Poe, who experienced rough experiences.

There are some other facts that I should mention. In April, I received a letter from Colonel Dionisio tabarez; He cleaned up the mess, and now he still clearly remembers Entre Rios, who took the lead in charging in Masorel, and he still remembers the soldiers who buried his men at the foot of the mountain that night. In July, I passed by the hanging place; Damian's cabin was not found, and no one in the local area could remember such a person. I want to know from the shepherd Diego Abalo, because he saw Damian killed with his own eyes; But Abalo died before winter. I want to recall Damian's appearance; A few months later, I looked through the photo album and found that the gloomy face in my memory was actually a stills of the famous tenor Tan Borrick playing Othello.

So I made a guess. The simplest and most unsatisfactory assumption is that there are two Damien: one is a coward who died in Entre Rios in 1946; The other is 1904, a soldier who died in Ma sorrell. The disadvantage of this idea is that it doesn't answer the real mystery: how did Colonel Tabarez's strange and willful memory forget the appearance and even the name of the demobilized man in a short time? I don't agree, and I don't want to agree with another simpler guess: I saw the first Damian in my dream. ) Ullrich von Kalman put forward a more bizarre supernatural speculation. Ullrich said that Pedro Damian was killed in the battle. When he died, he prayed to God to return to Entre Rios. God hesitated before giving grace, and the man who prayed for grace was dead, and several people saw him fall with their own eyes. God can't change the past, but he can change the image of the past, so he turned the image of death into fainting, and the shadow of Entre Rios returned to his native land. Although he has gone back, we can't forget that he is just a shadow. He lives alone and has no wife and friends; He loves everything and has everything, but on the other side of the glass seems to be far apart;

Later, he "died" and his faint image disappeared, as if water had disappeared in the water.

This guess is wrong, but it gives me a real idea (which I think is correct today), which is simple and unheard of. I almost miraculously found this idea in Boolean Damian's monograph on omnipotence. There are two lines in the second1song of the Divine Comedy "The Kingdom of Heaven" that just talk about the issue of identity, which aroused my interest in the study of the Almighty. In the fifth chapter of that monograph, Boolean ·Damiani refutes the views of Aristotle and Fred Garriott de Thor, claiming that God can achieve things that have never happened before. I studied those ancient theological discussions and began to understand the tragic story of Don Pedro Damian.

The story goes like this: Damian showed cowardice on the battlefield in Marseille, and he was determined to spend the rest of his life cleaning up this great shame. He returned to Entre Rios; He never bullies people, does not use a knife, and does not seek a reputation for bravery. He only worked hard in the fields of An Kai, fighting with mountains and wild animals. He has been preparing for the miracle. Obviously, he doesn't know when it will happen. He thought to himself, if fate gives me another battle, I will live up to expectations. For forty years, he waited in the dark, and fate finally brought him a battle on his deathbed. Fighting occurs in delirium, but the ancient Greeks have long said that we are all the shadows of dreams. When he was dying, the battle appeared again. He showed great courage and took the lead in launching the final charge. A bullet hit him in the chest. So, 1946, Pedro Damian died in the battle of Masorel, which was defeated at the turn of winter and spring in 1904.

The general theory of theology denies that God can make the past not happen, but says nothing about the complicated causal relationship, which is extremely huge and secret and affects the whole body. It is impossible to cancel a distant little thing without canceling the present. Changing the past is not changing a fact; It is the result of canceling its infinite tendency. In other words; Is to create two kinds of all-encompassing history. For example, Pedro Damian died in Entre Rios in 1946; Second, 1904 died in sorrell, Ma. That is, the history we are experiencing now, but the cancellation of the previous history is not overnight, but it has produced all kinds of incoherent situations that I said. For example, Colonel Dionisio tabarez went through various stages: at first, he remembered that Damian was a coward; Then forget him completely; Later, he recalled his tragic sacrifice. The situation of the shepherd Abalo Ya is also enough to confirm; He is dead, I know, because he has too many memories of Don Pedro Damian.

As for myself, I know I didn't take a similar risk. I guess people don't know the process, guess some paradoxes; But in some cases, this terrible privilege will seem a bit inferior. First of all, I'm not sure if everything I wrote is true. I suspect that there are some false memories in my story. I suspect that Pedro Damian (if he really exists) is not necessarily named Pedro Damian. I remember his name because one day I will remember that his story was inspired by Bourdamian's argument. The poetry collection I mentioned in the first paragraph has a similar reason, because it involves an irreparable past. 195 1 year. I think I wrote an absurd story, but I recorded a true story; Two thousand years ago, the unexpected Virgil thought he announced the birth of a man, but predicted the arrival of the son of God.

Poor Damian! At the age of twenty, he was taken to a sad and inexplicable war by death, a battle of his own, but he got what he thought and took a long time to get, which may be his greatest happiness.