Composition: My favorite Water Margin character-Wu Song

Wu Song in My Eyes

Wu Song came to Jingyanggang that day and saw that the sun was setting in the west. In addition, he had not eaten or drank after walking for a whole day, so he was hungry and tired. , I wanted to find a hotel to eat and drink, and then cross the mountains when I was full and full. Just as I was thinking about it, I saw a hotel not far away. There was a wine flag flying above the hotel with the words "Three bowls are not enough". Wu Song thought: This hotel is really bragging about not paying taxes. I have traveled all over the country. I have never drunk any kind of wine. Not to mention three bowls, I can drink thirty bowls. The hero Wu Song didn't care about anything and rushed in with his whistle stick. With a "dang" sound, he put his whistle stick on the table and shouted loudly: "Bring the wine!" Everyone was startled by this big man. They didn't know who he was. They had never seen him before. , the noisy shop suddenly became silent. The waiter trembled as he brought two kilograms of beef and poured three full bowls of wine. Wu Song was seen picking up the wine, without even taking a bite of the meat, and drank all three bowls of wine in one go. Then he shouted: "Another five kilograms of beef!" The waiter thought to himself that he met a boss who can eat today. If he does this every day, the boss will make a fortune. Five kilograms of beef was brought to the table. Wu Song ate it three times and divided it by two. While eating, he went to get the wine bowl, but it was empty. Wu Song asked: "Where is my wine? Asshole, hurry up and pour wine for grandpa!" The waiter hurriedly explained: "Grandpa, don't be angry. Our wine has great stamina. Three bowls of it are not enough for the post. Besides, there are..." Wu Song was impatient for a long time and said, "Grandpa, I have drunk pure alcohol. , I’m afraid of you, a little drunk! Stop talking nonsense and pour some wine for grandpa. If you’re too late, I’ll smash your head!” When the waiter heard this, his legs cramped up. He also brought the wine jar and stood there. Next to Wu Song, Wu Song drank from one bowl and he poured another, thinking: "The wine we have here is fake wine, blended with methanol. Don't drink it and kill people." Wu Song didn't know, he kept drinking After drinking eighteen bowls, he still felt dizzy despite his heavy drinking capacity and strong resistance. He thought to himself, the wine in this restaurant is so good, he will have to drink it next time he passes by.

After eating, drinking, and settling the accounts, Wu Song picked up his whistle stick and left. However, he was stopped by the waiter who told him that there was a tiger on the hill and told him to stay in the store overnight. Pass the post again. Wu Song scolded: "Who are you kidding, you want to defraud me of my accommodation fee?" He pushed the waiter away and staggered up to Jingyanggang. Seeing that he couldn't stop him, the waiter thought, it's better to let the tiger eat you than to poison you with methanol. It happened that the hotel had no responsibility. Wu Song didn't know, he just thought it was the waiter who deceived him, but in fact there was really a tiger on the post. While Wu Song was walking in a daze, suddenly a strong wind blew and the tiger jumped out of the grass. This tiger was also very hungry. He had eaten very little in the past few days. He was about to find something to eat when he bumped into Wu Song. No matter how courageous Wu Song was, he was so frightened that he broke out in a cold sweat. He suddenly lost his ability to drink. . It was too late, but it was too soon. Wu Song instinctively took the whistle stick to block it, and only heard a "click" sound, and the whistle broke into two pieces. Wu Song thought, what brand-name product? It is also internationally certified, and the quality is not up to par at all! "Damn it, 80% of it is fake!" Wu Song cursed. He threw away the half of the whistle stick and had no choice but to use his bare hands to maneuver around with the tiger. The tiger pounced forward twice, but failed to pounce on Wu Song, but he was so tired that he couldn't breathe. It turned out that the tiger was old and suffered from cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases, high blood pressure, hyperlipidemia, and emphysema. Coupled with hunger, he had long since lost his strength. Wu Song seized the opportunity, rode on the tiger, punched and kicked him for a while, until the tiger's cerebral blood vessels ruptured and died.

Wu Song killed the tiger and felt relieved, but his head still hurt badly. He thought to himself, I have traveled all over the country and drank so many famous wines, but I have never felt like this. The hotel should stop giving me fake drinks. bar? No, I have to settle the score with them. Thinking of this, Wu Song turned around and returned to the hotel. The shop owner had already closed the door and was about to go to bed when he heard someone banging on the door. When he opened the door, he saw that it was Wu Song. He thought Wu Song was a coward and had come back, so he said angrily: "The 'big hero' is back. Still in our shop. Let’s take a nap before leaving.” Wu Song said, “Fart, the tiger would have been killed by me.”

"When the shopkeeper heard that the tiger was dead, he burst into tears. It turned out that he had spent two hundred taels of silver to sell the tiger and raise it on the post to scare people. How could he not feel bad? Wu Song shouted: "Is the wine you gave me fake wine? ? ! Seeing how powerful Wu Song was, the shop owner had to admit that the wine was fake, and also admitted that raising tigers was scary. When Wu Song heard this, he became angry and wanted to smash the shop and report it to the industrial and commercial department. This was frightening. The shop owner, who was ruined, rolled his eyes, took the plan seriously, and said to Wu Song: "Let's do this. I'll give you a whistle stick and two hundred taels of silver. Tomorrow I'll ask the news media to publicize it and say You are so brave in fighting tigers, regardless of personal safety to eliminate harm for the people. In this way, you become famous as a tiger fighting hero, how about it? "Wu Song thought, what good would it do me if I smashed his shop? Why not just do what he said, so that I would be famous and profitable, why not do it. So, Wu Song was so happy that he couldn't do it. Not knowing that he had been deceived by the shop owner, he went to Jingyanggang to drag the tiger down.

After being hyped by major news media, Wu Song became famous overnight and became a tiger-fighting hero. . The hotel also took advantage of it. With Wu Song as their image spokesperson, the business grew bigger and bigger. They opened many branches across the country and still sold his "Three Bowls of Not Enough" brand fake wine. Later I heard that this Wu Song. It's a fake, not the real Wu Song mentioned in "Water Margin"! Alas! There are so many fake things now that people can't believe anything!

Mr. Shi Naian's " Everyone must have seen the scene in "Water Margin" in which Wu Song fights the tiger. Every move of Wu Song is so cool. Three times and five times, the big insect is defeated. Recently, I heard from the trail. , the big insect was not killed by Wu Song, but... (Looking around) Fortunately, Mr. Shi is not here. Okay! Then I will tell you about Wu Song's fight against the tiger. Everyone knows it, but you may not know the truth. At that time, there was a big insect (the tigers at that time were called big insects, maybe because it was easier to write!) who often walked around in the mountains and sometimes went to the streets.

The tiger also wanted to go shopping (tiger also likes to go shopping?). When people saw it, they disappeared like a mummy (because it can bite people). This matter was noticed by Wu Song. I know, there was a bang, and a human figure was knocked out of Wu Song's door. The family ran out and saw Wu Song shouting on the street: "Damn tiger, stinky tiger, you are brave enough to come out and challenge me..." Quan Quan. As soon as the villagers heard the word "tiger", they disappeared again (because "the color of tigers changes"). Wu Song turned his head 360 degrees, looked around and saw no one, and his expression changed 360 degrees: "Dead people, stinky people." , no one dares to come out and tell me where the big insect is?" A trembling voice came from a house: "It's... it's..." (Isn't it the mountain behind him) Wu Song cupped his fists and bowed, " Thank you for your advice. I, Wu Song, will go fight the big bugs now!" After saying that, he rushed home at a speed of 100 kilometers per hour to get the tool for killing insects. After taking the tools, he rushed towards the mountain at a speed of 100 kilometers per hour. By chance, he met I went to an inn and rushed in.

"Waiter, give me three pounds of beef, five spices, not wild."

"Okay, sir."

While eating, Wu Song asked: "Shopkeeper, is there anything else delicious in your store?"

"High-quality Longjing, guest. Three or two bottles." (Isn't that right? Black shop? )

“So expensive?”

“The Longjing in our shop is made of diamond molecules and nanomaterials. It strengthens the body and strengthens the brain. My idol Stephen Chow is still here. I've done advertising!" (Imitating Stephen Chow: "Waiter, make a cup of tea...")

Wu Song couldn't stop vomiting after hearing this: "Stephen Chow? I still have Fei Xiang! Forget it, give me six bottles of Longjing, three bottles to drink for free, and three bottles to keep for brushing your teeth. "(What a waste)

"Sir, we only sell three bottles here. "

"Thirty taels for you, give me six bottles. "

When the shopkeeper saw thirty taels, he had a "$" look in his eyes and said repeatedly: "Deal! Welcome to come again next time! Welcome to come again next time! "Wu Song put Longjing in his backpack and rushed towards the mountain at a speed of 100 kilometers per hour.

Wu Song came to the mountain, passed through the Gumalaya Forest, crossed the Yangtze River in the Congo, flew over the Grand Canyon of the Yellow River, and came to the Tiger Home, but saw not a single tiger. He was furious: "Dead tiger , Smelly tiger, come here if you dare. Do you dare to commit murder in broad daylight? Your grandpa is here today, and I will spare your life!" (It's too exaggerated, the fun is to come!) Wu Songgang After he finished speaking, he felt a chill coming from his back. When he looked back, the strong wind blew him back a few steps. After a while, the wind gradually died down, and Wu Song opened his eyes and saw a big insect rushing toward him. Wu Song was so anxious that he jumped to the side and the big insect hit the tree with its head. The big insect stood up, touched his head, and rushed towards Wu Song again. Seeing that there was no place to escape, Wu Song took out three bottles of Longjing from his backpack, drank them all in one go, and threw the empty bottles at the big bug. The big insect stopped and pointed for a while and said: "@#$^amp;*" Wu Song took out the "language communicator" invented by Wu Yong from his backpack, threw one to the big insect, and used the other for himself. It turned out that Big Chong said: "Boy, you can drink it yourself, and you won't give it to me!" Wu Song had to give a bottle of Longjing to Big Chong. Unexpectedly, the big insect didn't give up and snatched Wu Song's remaining two bottles. Da Chong also drank it in one gulp and said, "It tastes good, but there is no food to go with the wine." After saying that, he pounced on Wu Song again. Wu Song was so frightened that his feet became weak. He sat on the ground and shouted repeatedly: "Brother, uncle, please spare me!" (Wu Song was breathless). After that, Wu Song took out a business card. After reading the big insect, he vomited wildly. It turned out that what was written on the business card was "Wu Song, 22 years old, has not graduated from kindergarten..." When it saw the last line, it beamed because it said: He loves drinking the most. The big insect was also an alcoholic, and he said to Wu Song: "Come and have a drink with me!" Wu Song was also an alcoholic, and he got excited when he heard the word "wine", so he went to the pub with him to drink.

A few hours later...

Wu Song and Da Chong drank a jar of century-old wine until not a drop was left, and then left drunkenly. When the big insect returned to the mountain, it staggered around and accidentally got killed by a branch. Wu Song heard the cry of the big insect and rushed to take a look, only to see the big insect lying in a pool of blood: "Haha, look, you fell down before I fell down. How bad!..." A hunter also followed suit. The scream came over and took a look, thinking that Wu Song had killed the big insect. Seeing this, he took out his phone and dialed "110120119". Within three minutes, someone from the government came and dragged the tiger away. Wu Song became a tiger-fighting hero in this way. Mr. Shi just exaggerated Wu Song.