The funniest joke, suitable for the dinner table, what do you recommend?

First, Xiaoming was dishonest when he was a child. In order to educate him, an old farmer said to him, "sixty years of hard work, no food, never sticking his nose out." .

Second, the boss and the second child flew, and the second child got airsick and kept vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second child said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half of it and throw up."

3. A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . .

4. A rich man wants a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich man sent them away, and only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."

On this day, the hotel owner is patrolling the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too?" The beggar said, "Someone threw up and I came late. The first two beggars ate everything they could, and now there is only soup left. " Can you give me a straw?

Six, the boss and the second went to the theater to see the play. When they saw that they were arguing about the plot development halfway, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there." Unfortunately, the boss lost and took a sip with a frown. The two went on to bet on the next plot. This time, the second child lost. I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and swallow fifteen mouthfuls in one gulp. Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! " "

A man saw a big sale in a shop and went in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog. ""where is such a rule? " "This is the case with goods on sale. "This man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this shop to buy cat food. " Give me two boxes of cat food. ""We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat. "It's the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still has to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the store with a big cardboard box with a hole and found the salesman. " What do you want? ""Just put your hand in. The salesman put his hand in: "What is this?" Very sticky. "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper. "

Eight, some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. In a fit of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I was just the same.

Nine, Xiaomei especially likes to eat pig blood cake. Every time I see a stall selling pig blood cakes on the roadside, she will definitely buy them. One day, she saw a woman in her sixties selling on the road and went to buy food. After eating, she found that the pig blood cake was extremely delicious, so she wanted to pay her highest respects to her grandmother.

(Answer in Taiwanese) `

May: "Grandma, why does your pig blood cake smell so good?" 」

Grandma: "the materials are very expensive, and they can only be sold for a few days a month." 」

America: "Wow! Where did you get such precious materials? 」

Grandma: "Alas, mine has been used for decades, and now it's old and gone." Now it's my daughter's turn. 」

Beauty: "*&; %@」

10. For the first time, medical students wrapped their bodies in white cloth in real anatomy class. The professor began to lecture. "As a doctor, you must have two important qualities. First, you must not be afraid of nausea. " . After that, the professor uncovered the white cloth, inserted his finger into the anus of the corpse, then pulled it out and put it in his mouth to suck. "Learn to do it," he told his classmates. The students felt sick and hesitated for a long time, and finally they had to do it in turn. When the last person finished, the professor added, "The second quality is observation. I inserted my middle finger, but sucked it. Students, pay attention to observation! "