The workplace reminds you not to be a bad person in the office.

The workplace reminds you not to be a bad person in the office.

Workplace reminder: don't be the bad guy in the office. I'll walk with you on the way to work. There are many problems worth pondering in the workplace. Only by not sticking to details can we make progress. Being able to do things with ease is a sign of strong working ability. Workplace reminder: don't be an office villain to teach you to stand firm in the workplace.

The workplace reminds me not to be a bad person in the office. 1 I called my old company the other day to say hello to my old colleagues. Unexpectedly, my good mood was ruined by a kind word from my colleague. He complained on the other end of the phone, "It's so hot. Nobody bought us coke after you left. "

I regret it now. If I hadn't followed those lazy people when I first entered the company, I wouldn't have had such a big trouble and had to leave.

When I first joined the company, I was always cautious. Whenever I am on duty on holidays, I promise anyone who speaks. For this reason, I don't know how many holidays I wasted, and over time I became a professional on duty. At work, I always arrive early, clear the table and clean the office. As long as someone says, "I'm so hungry without breakfast, is there anything to fill my stomach?" I quickly took out the milk cereal I bought and sent it to them; In hot summer, I often buy some iced cokes for everyone to drink. I became a "great guy" recognized by everyone.

But with the gradual increase of work, I don't run errands for them as before, and complaints come and go. Someone even made fun of me: "What are you putting on airs for?" Come and help me send this material to all departments. ""hey, go to the warehouse to help get a pack of printing paper, we are waiting to use it! "I did it because of my feelings.

Refusing a colleague's unreasonable request can be excused by saying "that's not my job", but it's even more difficult if the boss wants you to help him with his personal affairs.

Once, the supervisor asked me to go to the station to help him pick up a relative. As a result, I was hit by the manager who came back from a business trip just after I left the company gate. The manager asked me where to go so as not to offend the supervisor, and I said to go out and recruit. Later, the manager didn't know exactly where it looked like, so he called me over and gave me a lecture, saying that as a personnel clerk, I couldn't even be honest, so how could I care about others! I left such an impression on the manager that staying in the company would only be boring, so I submitted my resignation application, and I fell behind the word "good man".

I think many newcomers in the workplace have similar difficulties: smiling at people regardless of the occasion, people think you have no personality; Give your colleagues whatever they want. There must be times when you can't "respond" because of your ability or other reasons, people will think you are not interesting enough, thus alienating you. You lend money to your colleague many times without any talent, and he soon gets used to it, but you are forced into a dilemma-begging, afraid of hurting your feelings, not losing it for nothing; Only you practice brooms and mops in the office from time to time. Over time, people regard you as a part-time cleaner and enjoy the cleanliness you bring, but they don't remember your goodness at all. Over time, it has become a "handyman" that everyone can come and go. Therefore, it is better not to be a good person in the workplace.

Comments: Distance produces beauty.

Who is the person who spends the longest time with you every day? Not your relatives, not your friends, but your colleagues. He is face to face with you in the office, shoulder to shoulder, working, eating, drinking and entertaining. But when we have the concept of "private space", we can't ignore the reasonable social space and public space. How to grasp the distance in the office is not so simple.

Of course, it is appropriate to have a good relationship with your colleagues, but it depends on what keeps the "good relationship" between you and your colleagues and how their "good feelings" for you are formed. If you are a bossy good colleague, you can lighten a lot of burdens for them and even become a victim when they make mistakes. Obviously, such a "good relationship" is not worth celebrating. Especially as a newcomer in the workplace, remember that colleagues are not friends and can't distinguish between public and private. Keeping a proper distance from your colleagues will make you look more beautiful.

The workplace reminds you not to be a bad person in the office. You are always smiling and responsive, hoping to be needed by everyone. Gradually, you find that love is divided into your duty, time is stolen, and the pressure is getting bigger and bigger. Open your smiling face, there may be a confused, sad and sad face.

The figure that appears

Louis, General Manager of DDI Greater China

Duan Dong Sina Human Resources Director

Chris, Public Relations Director of Grand Hyatt Beijing.

At four o'clock in the morning, the Ring called me, and the other end of the phone was crying. At this time, she was sitting in a taxi, driving around the East Third Ring Road. She and her boyfriend just had a quarrel-it was because of work!

Huanhuan works in a trading company with only seven people, and her boyfriend is one of the two founders of the company. Later, I left my job in a startup company and went to a French-funded enterprise that just set up a branch in China to be the boss of a foreign company. During the preparation of the company, Huanhuan was a subordinate of another partner, but her boyfriend often asked Huanhuan to help him find an office building, go through formalities, recruit people and write some uncomplicated reports, but at the same time refused to declare the fact of "borrowing people" with the partner, making it difficult for Huanhuan to take care of himself. The most terrible thing is that her own workload is enough. The boss is a self-made entrepreneur and believes that good employees can do anything. Even the company's current website is bought by Ring herself in Xinhua Bookstore, and she learns to do it every night. At that moment, the boss said thoughtfully behind his back: This is one of our future tasks. Just now, her boyfriend, who is often willing to choose to explode emotions and release pressure, is very painful. The pressure of internal and external pressure finally makes the ring that is always willing to meet the requirements of others and wants to be needed by everyone unbearable.

When repression becomes a bomb

The ring is a typical nice guy. But it is obvious: first, she will not refuse, which will lead to the reversal of priorities and will only use her own time to compensate and make herself exhausted; Second, pay too much attention to relationships rather than work goals, always mix work with personal feelings, and too much hope to gain emotional recognition through work; Third, I usually suppress my emotions, but I don't solve my emotional problems from the inside, making myself a bomb.

When joy turns into ecstasy, hope leads to vigilance and worry, and trust leads to blind worship, who says there are no hidden problems under the emotional surface of joy?

There is such a misunderstanding in the ring, "As long as people with mature minds are easy to suppress themselves, they don't know that repression is uncivilized, such as children." However, Duan Dong, director of human resources at Sina, told me that children are natural masters of emotions, because they know how to use their emotions. When adults are angry, they will spoil and please, and when they can't get anything, they will look at adults' faces and cry.

Good people always tell themselves: some emotions are better left unsaid, which will definitely complicate the emotions and destroy the feelings. As we all know, "if we don't communicate on the emotional level, then' win-win' can only become an illusion. Wu Shuo, general manager of Top Person International Consulting Company in China: "If you are a customer or partner, the final evaluation of your relationship is trust; If you are colleagues, the final evaluation of your relationship is respect or appreciation; If you are a lover or a family member, the ultimate evaluation of your relationship is love. And these evaluation factors are emotions. Gratitude and anger may coexist, and anger is often a mask of passion. We judge each other's intentions from others' emotions, so don't suppress your emotions and interfere with others' judgment. "Using emotions instead of suppressing them is the best way out for a good man.

"No", to say or not to say?

Like Huanhuan, Chen Ju (a pseudonym), a legal adviser of a media group, also has this kind of trouble. He often helps his colleagues with some things, such as delivering express and answering the phone. Slowly, he got used to making people around him have problems, and he always put the blame on him. The hard part is that these things are easy for him, and there is really no way to refuse, which makes people very distracted and anxious. What should you do?

Louis is the general manager of DDI Greater China. He believes that the efficient operation of the organization certainly needs a clear division of labor and dense seams. However, there are still many gray responsibilities, and it is difficult to distinguish whether you should do it yourself. First of all, you need to communicate your problems clearly with your boss. Don't expect him to fall from the sky like a bodhisattva and help you out, because the boss is too busy. Secondly, 20% of the factors that guide the efficient operation of their own organizations come from teamwork, and more is more. I believe that the boss is the boss after all, otherwise who will be rewarded with dividends and promotion at the end of the year?

And even when you become a boss, you will encounter demands that are not easy to refuse, especially a person who has just been promoted to the position of supervisor. When Louis was first promoted to supervisor, there was a similar "good guy" incident: an employee asked to perform a task that he was incompetent in the name of fairness, and Louis always tried his best to make the other party try, which led to the delay in achieving the performance of the department. The most embarrassing thing is the torture of some small things, such as employees will especially apply to the general affairs department for expensive pens; Employees need one room for business trips. At that time, Louis thought that how to control and use the power of emotions, judge and solve things in an orderly way without leaving any handle, depends on a person's maturity. This requires constant experience to find the answer. "I often ask them to give me a reason to convince everyone. Moreover, if you refuse to go to the second time1time, you will be able to accurately capture each other's emotions, talk to him in the most appropriate tone, and replace natural emotional reactions with more rational analysis. "

It's time to save good people.

Chris, director of public relations at Grand Hyatt Oriental Beijing, is in the third year of his career. She desperately needs by going up one flight of stairs. "Now many students who go abroad are returning to China, and the competition is fierce. If you don't advance, you will retreat. " At present, Chris is only immersed in routine work such as internal procedure approval and finance. "I need time to study, and my time should be spent thinking about some problems and improving my management ability." With a clear goal, Chris, who also faces many minor problems, is much more decisive than Chen Ju and Lin.

Chris's boss is a person who asks for details. Originally, she would spend more time preparing an impeccable copy. Now she will calculate how much time is appropriate for a report: "I have more important things to do. Don't stay too long for blind pursuit of things that won't come true. It has no practical significance for the appreciation of our personal brand. " Now, when she feels depressed or stressed, she will chat with her boss or apply for "I hope to get off work on time today". "There is nothing wrong with this, the boss has the right to know what you really think. At the same time, you should always report your ongoing and planned work to your boss. It is very important to say' no' properly and plan ahead. People will only continue to carry out other people's ideas when they don't know what they want to do. " After this goal is clear, you need some tools to help you track management time. "Everyone will say to prioritize according to urgency and importance, but I think the reason why the effect is not obvious is that there is no tracking management process." Liu Qiulian is now helping others with the training of "effective personal productivity". He used to be the human resources manager of several large foreign companies. "Effective personal productivity" is a time coach, setting weekly and daily goals within two months, and checking with the supervisor how much time he has allocated per minute for high-return tasks: "People are animals who follow habits, so they must first finish what they like and postpone what they actually do but don't like. Therefore, it is very important for the supervisor to follow up well, give specific guidance and establish a result-oriented habit. " You can also simulate this kind of training to make your own efficiency manual, draw a table of daily affairs such as meeting, handling mail, receiving guests, answering the phone, fill in the time, and then analyze your time allocation.

Sometimes I think too much in my heart, but I can't put it down in my hand. I clearly made up my mind, but I returned to be a good person at a critical time. Duan Dong said that this situation just shows how important it is to make a plan of action: "I only have one idea or idea in concept, but when things really come, I will be beaten back to my original shape and have no plan. A good way to adjust your mood is to record your mood and behavior and try to list specific ways to take further action. "

The real concept of interpersonal relationship

One reason why good people are unwilling to refuse is that they are interpersonal-oriented. They feel that a pleasant environment is more important than achieving their goals.

Many times, we feel that there is no way to refuse. The real reason is that we lack the guilt that may arise when we refuse other people's demands. This kind of "guilt" will make us feel that we are a very bad person, which is even worse than accepting unreasonable demands under anxiety and pressure. It is valuable to establish a true view of interpersonal relationship. You know, it's impossible to be a close friend or get promoted by doing something trivial for others. Joshua M Freedman is the director of 6 seconds international emotional intelligence organization and an expert in this field. He suggested:

1. Understand that this is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with others. If you just respond reluctantly, it will destroy the existing interpersonal relationship.

2. Analyze the original intention of the request instead of focusing on the request itself. Then analyze what can be "promised" and what should be "refused".

3. "Promise" what you can promise.

4. For those parts that cannot be promised, explain the background and reasons.

5. Clearly express "why" You must "reject" those parts that you can't promise, and directly express and describe the "uncomfortable" emotions that "rejection" brings to you.

6. At the same time, you must let the other person feel your understanding attitude (understand the other person's needs), and then express "you believe the other person can understand" in a trusting tone. Actually, saying "no" is a bit like riding a roller coaster. With the first time, there will be a second time.

"Every great leader I have ever met, or anyone who can live an ideal life calmly, has the same experience, that is, constantly challenging his comfort zone under clear goals." Wu said, Louis must agree with her. The energetic Taiwan Province native told me with burning eyes: "Success is distortion." "You want to be a warm, kind and trustworthy brand. Do you think you can be a good person without helping others? " He asked: "The so-called executive nature must be done from two aspects: adding value to employees, which requires you to learn to praise others even if you are grumpy and tough; There is also controlling pressure and adapting to pressure. "

Finally, Louis, who has always been proactive, put forward an interesting suggestion on how to say no to a good person: if you encounter something that no one does, if you wait for someone to assign it to you, you will definitely fall into the dilemma of saying yes or no, but if you take the initiative to find such a thing, you have the right to let others "fall into the dilemma of saying yes or no"!