What should I do if I find that my subordinates have an improper relationship with men and women?

After more than 20 years of working in middle and high levels, I found that there was only one case of improper relationship between men and women in my department. This is a true story. The protagonist is a pair of bad karma mandarin ducks. That's how I handled it.

Time goes back to more than ten years ago. Just a few days after joining the new unit, I accidentally found that two middle-aged male and female colleagues in the department were too close and had no sensitive reaction to each other. With a strong sixth sense, I vaguely feel that their relationship is not normal. I just met my assistant, and the result confirmed my sixth sense.

My assistant told me that both of them have families and are unhappy. The husband of a female colleague is a gambler, and the wife of a male colleague is ill in bed all the year round. Female colleagues have a complete family for their children, and male colleagues can't bear to abandon their sick wives. Neither of them intends to divorce.

In the days of getting along, perhaps because of the same illness, the two gradually came together and held a group to keep warm. They have been together for several years. Comfort each other at work and care about each other in life.

Many colleagues in their work unit know about it, some are sympathetic and some are disdainful.

Later, two talkative colleagues reported to me one after another. I can't pretend not to know.

I invited them to the coffee shop outside and had a heart-to-heart talk with them. I affirmed the work of two people and expressed my understanding of their relationship and difficulties.

However, it is also pointed out that the company has regulations that office romance is not allowed, and the relationship between two people does not conform to traditional ethics. Their affairs have caused a lot of discussion among colleagues, which has caused certain adverse effects and has a tendency to spread.

I can know everything about them when I'm new here, so sooner or later it will reach the ears of the big leader at any time. There will be no way out at that time, and I can't protect them. It will be ugly to meet them. It is suggested that they take the initiative to resolve the crisis and avoid embarrassment. Let them say what to do? Two people go at least one?

Both of them blushed, and the male colleague said that he could resign and let me stay with the female colleague. The female colleague said that it is best for both of them to stay and break off the relationship between men and women.

I asked my female colleague, do you think your plan will work? Whether you can break it is a question. Even if it is broken, will anyone believe it? The male colleague immediately said that no one would believe it, but the female colleague didn't say it.

The female colleague added that she left and let her male colleague stay. I think it is not easy for these two people to think of each other when they are in trouble. Just say, stop pushing, you two draw a sign and see what happens.

As a result, the female colleague scratched "leave" and tears immediately flowed down. The male colleague immediately said that he would go and the female colleague would stay. That's settled.

In this way, my male colleague handed over his job and went to another company I introduced him to.

The relationship between the two people has never been broken. A few years later, the wife of a male colleague died, and the relationship between them remained the same. In this way, more than ten years have passed, and it is still not broken. We are both very tired in this life.

Friend, what would you do if you met my colleague? What do you think of their relationship? Tell me.

What a coincidence.

This has already happened to me.

About ten years ago, I was the head of a department, leading a group of post-80s generation.

Then, a handsome boy, typist, with a low diploma, but handsome, will come to the meeting to deceive people. He is very happy to wait on the youngest daughter and kannika nimtragol in the department in his daily work.

An active atmosphere is what I like to see. After all, it can make everyone a little motivated, as long as it is not too much. This is what I thought at that time.

The point is, he has a girlfriend, a very smart girl in another department of this unit, and she knows me very well.

This is the background.

One day, a girl who just graduated from the department came, yes, Bai. Her family and personal conditions are good, and she looks honest (later proved blind). After considering all kinds of situations, I found another female colleague to take her.

In this way, half a month passed normally.

As the work related to the Beijing Olympic Games is over, I invited colleagues from all departments to go out for dinner and drink to celebrate.

I drink well and sing well.

As a middle-aged man born after 70, I left KTV early, left everyone's happy space and went home to sleep. Before I left, I just told my male colleagues to send my female colleagues home safely.

Later, they told me that the game didn't break until 3 am.

Then, he entered the normal working posture again.

After about three or four days, I was busy late because I was making something for the provincial leaders. After that, I invited several colleagues who worked overtime to go out for a barbecue, including the handsome guy.

Being praised by the leader, I was in a good mood that day. Everyone drank a lot. Little brother doesn't know what's going on. He whispered in my ear: Brother, I was won by that XXX (the new girl).

The environment of the northeast barbecue restaurant is very noisy, and there are still six bottles of big snowflakes that are confused after eating. I didn't understand what he meant at the moment.

Holding a new glass of wine, I suddenly reacted.

MD, what's going on! ?

The little handsome boy put his arm around my shoulder and mumbled inarticulate: Brother, I sent XXX home after the party that day and went to eat barbecue on the way ... others took the initiative. ...

That day, the handsome boy popularized the word "three no men" to me: no initiative, no refusal and no responsibility.

It really broke my heart.

The next day, I put the handsome boy in the night shift group, and the little girl in the white shift group, temporarily separated.

A month later, I "returned" the handsome boy and the little girl to the leader.

I don't care where he arranges it.

Encounter such a thing, as a leader is actually quite a headache, but it is also easy to deal with:

First, normal communication, non-interference, if it doesn't affect my work, I never care about people falling in love.

Second, abnormal communication, such as having friends, cannot be tolerated.

But pay attention to the handling method. First of all, don't say it publicly or privately. Open it for them first and deal with it in secret. Then at a suitable opportunity, at least one of them should be transferred from his post.

If you don't do this, one day, you may have to face the family of one of them.

A similar situation happened when I worked in a hotel before, but there were essential differences. They are just in love, and they are deeply in love. They only fall in love, don't get married, don't talk about marriage. This is what they talked about and it is voluntary.

Men are cooks, and women are cooks, but their jobs are different. She is a cold dish chef. As the saying goes, she specializes in cutting vegetables, meat, chickens and ducks. Besides, she is several years older than that man. At that time, I was the chef. My practice is to release it after 8 hours and after work, which will not affect my work. This is the three noes policy.

They have been in love for over a year, and the man's parents want to get married as soon as possible. Although the woman is older than the man, she works hard, works hard and is satisfied with her salary. She is a skilled worker, so the two sides got married. But both young people refused, saying that once they got married, they would not be free, so they fell in love if they never got married.

Only once at work, I don't know why two young couples quarreled. The more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. They told each other what to do, scolded each other, dragged their parents into it, and pulled eight generations of ancestors out of the ground to scold them. After another year, the boy changed his mind and broke up. Although the girl didn't want to, she had no choice but to agree. Later, the girl married an electrician in an electronics factory. Both of them are locals and have something to say. After getting married, she quit her job and started working in another restaurant. The final situation is unknown. The boy has not been married until now. This is the WeChat sent by his former workmates. He is over 40 years old!

Those who complain about leniency are people who have never been leaders.

This kind of thing must be strictly controlled and eliminated. Because he is harmful to the company.

As we are overseas, the people we hire can't be dismissed at will, at least for three months. We once had a lady in her forties who had a beautiful face and was very young. It soon attracted the favor of employees, customers and so on. So, someone was in the dormitory in the middle of the night for her, urging her to fly away together, going on strike collectively, and male employees stole snacks for her. When she was fired, she secretly sold half of a return ticket I bought and asked me to buy her another one. I didn't reimburse her. She was angry and told our customers that I had earned their money and didn't want to buy my things. Customers and employees listen to her. Two months later, we were talking about her, and employees and clients said she was possessed by a ghost. In just three months, I paid her less than 30 thousand, but her income was not less than 250 thousand

It's the same male employee After the woman left, we had another little girl, telephone number 17- 18. They are together again. The little girl is not active at work, so she looks at her mobile phone at work. As soon as we warned her, the man came out to make trouble for her After careful consideration, we still kept the diligent and agile young man and replaced the girl. This guy's typical job is influenced by picking up girls, and he is particularly capable in his spare time. He can't walk when he meets girls, regardless of age.

When men and women are together, they often spend a lot of money and work in groups, regardless of you and me. I can't work well at all.

There is no proper relationship between subordinates, which is common and easy to handle.

I have dealt with complicated relationships. The young man (awesome man) fell in love with the director's wife.

At that time, the young man was the after-sales of the department and was not busy at ordinary times. He is a simple young man, and he has a good relationship with people in the department.

After-sales work, you need to go to the workshop to find the supervisor to confirm if you find any problems. Sometimes after the problem is solved, you can chat with the management in the workshop.

Sometimes it is ok to chat in the workshop most of the day, as long as he can deal with after-sales problems in time.

At that time, the director's wife was the head of the parts warehouse, and sometimes after-sales problems were filled with parts, so it was necessary to deal with the director's wife.

The director's wife was not yet 30 years old. She is a plain young woman, older than the director Xiao Jiu. I guess it's also a big reason to get along with that young man at that time.

After all, there are many topics between peers, and it is easy to cause feelings together.

The factory director has a good relationship with the general manager. They are classmates and are highly valued by the general manager at work.

The spare parts warehouse is usually quiet and relaxed most of the time, so the factory director arranges his wife in this position.

Because of frequent after-sales chat, the young man began to get along well with the director's wife.

Two people get along to the end, because the factory director's wife is pregnant.

And this child is not the director's. Although the director's wife is cheating, she still has feelings for the director, and the director has helped her family, so she insists on not having this child.

The young man didn't encounter such a big thing, and he was afraid and sad.

So I went out for a drink in the evening and confessed to me. I also hope someone will discuss it and give me an opinion.

When I heard this, my head got bigger.

This involves the young man and the director's wife, further involving the director and my department, as well as the general manager behind the director.

Improper handling, because it involves high-level, the whole department will be seriously affected.

Fortunately, after the unexpected pregnancy, the two have already had the meaning of separation.

This saves a lot of entanglements.

After the two of them finished dealing with the hospital, I asked the young man what his plans were. The young man said that leaving is the best choice.

In fact, I also asked him to make it clear to the director's wife that he was leaving.

Then, the original guy resigned and left.

In operation, I transferred an employee with a relationship with the supervisor from the workshop to replace the young man, dismissed the young man and let him get compensation.

At this point, the director's wife has nothing to say. Let's get together before we go.

First, if the relationship between men and women has substantially affected the work, it can no longer be vague and can only be dealt with by the parties. If the company has a rule that men and women can't fall in love, only one person can be spared.

Second, if it is a general relationship between men and women that does not affect their work, most managers can turn a blind eye or tell the parties to pay attention to the influence of behavior;

Three, if the parties have competitors, or other employees with the purpose of reporting, there is also a set of words and methods to deal with, managers can always take the initiative to attack:

(1) clearly reported it.

A. Ask him if he has any evidence (and this kind of thing is not a rape at the scene, where there is clear evidence).

If there is no evidence, let him pay attention to the influence and tell him that your main job is to make achievements. I don't want rumors without evidence to come from you;

B. Just report this matter and say that an investigation will be arranged. As for how to check, it is the manager's business to check or not;

C. formally talk to the parties and tell them to pay attention to their behavior;

(2) Don't report it, intentionally or unintentionally say it.

Just repeat step a above.

I think the workplace will answer your question. As a veteran who has worked for ten years, I met once in my professional experience, and it was very exciting and helpless to think about it.

At that time, it was 20 16, and I had just been promoted to department manager. In 2008, I recruited a female student who graduated from university. She is 168 and weighs 90 kg. She's still beautiful. Since she came to our department, all the boys couldn't help glancing at her secretly, which reduced the efficiency of the department a lot. But this girl was normal at first, and she worked hard most of the time.

I remember one day, I, this girl and one of my subordinates, Xiao Wang, were working overtime. It's almost evening 10. I think it's getting late. I'm going home to rest and let them go home early. Then I left.

Just arrived at the first floor, suddenly found that I forgot my car keys, so I went back to the office to get them. Just getting out of the elevator, I suddenly heard some strange noises. As there was no one at that time, the sound was still relatively loud. I walked slowly to the card position. At this moment, the girl is kissing Xiao Wang. That's when I knew Xiao Wang had a girlfriend. But at that time, I was also stupid. The whole atmosphere was quite embarrassing, and they were very ashamed.

Although only the three of us know about it, I have great doubts about Xiao Wang's character. Because he obviously has a girlfriend, but he is still greedy for beauty and can't control himself. So, I want to talk to them.

Xiao Wang first apologized, saying that he should not be in the office, and the influence was too bad; The girl was also ashamed and apologized. I asked this girl, do you know Xiao Wang has a girlfriend? She immediately opened her eyes and said that Xiao Wang had told him!

At this time, I saw the true face of Xiao Wang.

The next day, Xiao Wang consciously lost money, fearing that he couldn't stand it in the company and offered to leave. The girl found a married man behind her, who was beaten by the wife of the male employee, and the male employee also left.

At this point, the story is over.

In my opinion, there are improper relationships between men and women in the workplace, mostly because there are great problems in the personalities of both men and women.

However, there is an improper relationship between men and women among employees, which is a moral issue and does not violate the rules and regulations of the employer or the labor law. Therefore, the company cannot dismiss employees on this ground.

So, if it doesn't affect your work status, I suggest you turn a blind eye. You can talk to them privately and beat about the bush.

If it has affected your work, talk to them openly and tell them that this is a workplace, not a place for love, and let them pay attention.

This kind of thing is nothing new in the workplace. I have dealt with this kind of thing:

13 years, the group's administrative manager (male married) and personnel manager (female married) had a much better image because of long-term work contact, and they lived in the same direction, so many times the personnel manager took a lift from the administrative manager to work, and rumors spread throughout the company.

At that time, our group had a clear stipulation that it was forbidden for employees in the enterprise to fall in love and improper relationships between men and women. If they are found, they must leave. At the same time, some employees have reflected this matter to me and the president. For the parties who responded to this matter, I just asked them a sentence after listening quietly. Are you just talking to me alone or are you just a formal reflection? Someone answered me, "It's just a private chat." "I hope this kind of thing will never come out of your mouth again. As a manager, you need to control your mouth, don't always gossip, and the most important thing is to make your own achievements. " I advised.

Of course, someone will formally report the situation to me. The formal reaction to this is nothing more than that the two of them have alienated from others in their daily work, so they will set a trap at this time and get photos of them eating together and playing at night. In the face of such complaints, I usually tell them. First of all, these photos don't mean anything, but they can show that their relationship is improper. Secondly, I know what you reflect. I'll arrange an investigation when I get down.

But to be honest, there is no way to investigate this kind of thing. It is nothing more than calling two people to the office for questioning and criticism (how can anyone admit such a thing in front of him? )

1) Such things happen first. If the enterprise does not have such a clear ban, as a leader, as long as it does not affect the normal work, it can be laughed off without excessive investigation.

2) Give appropriate warnings to those who spread rumors, and don't let them develop wantonly. The spread of such rumors is extremely harmful to corporate culture.

3) At the same time, admonish and talk to both parties involved, warning them to pay attention to their own behavior, strengthen self-discipline and moral cultivation, always walk by the river, and keep the image and dignity of enterprise management among employees, so as to avoid bringing crisis to family relations, negatively affecting others and work, and even ruining their bright future!

Once I was on a business trip, the director of the company suddenly called to tell me who slept with whom. I was quite surprised at that time, although the company did not explicitly stipulate that colleagues should not fall in love. But the unspoken rule is well known, that is, the same core department can't have couples or boyfriends. Now they have touched the red line. But to my surprise, one of the female colleagues has a husband, and one of the two children is only over one year old. That's a bloody story.

One of the male colleagues has been with us for five years and worked hard with us in the most difficult time of the company. So we still have to show some goodwill. As a team leader, this kind of thing happens from time to time. I still need to communicate with them first. Male colleagues also generously admitted to me that they were together. Say it's true love, and I will treat that female colleague well for life. I also hope to give them a chance, because that female colleague is also divorced. They need jobs to make a living.

Although the unspoken rule of the company is that the same core department cannot have lovers or boyfriends. However, there is no explicit stipulation that we can't have it, so I think it is because of my feelings for my male colleagues who have worked hard with us for many years, or because of the pressure of management, I decided to give us a couple the opportunity to stay and work (temporarily) (our company's welfare and salary are very good).

I don't support that male colleague morally. Because he shouldn't get involved in the life of a woman with a family and children. But I can't. It has already happened. I'm not good enough at this. If I had known, I would have advised my male colleagues!

The most unexpected thing happened. After they get together, they can't stand other colleagues in the company. Talk about them behind their backs. They all chose to leave the company.

My personal opinion is that subordinates can fall in love. But really together, it is best not to be in the same department. Everyone is embarrassed to avoid breaking up in the future. Another point is that the core department can't have couples and boyfriends, because it involves the risk of the company's core technology outflow.

There are many such cases now. I have seen such a thing when I was stationed in the following cities and counties. The woman also gave birth to a boy, who is now seven or eight years old.

20 1 1 I was sent to the following cities and counties by the company. Before I went, there was already a distribution workstation there. The stationmaster is a 28-year-old unmarried boy. Let's call him Fu Xiao for the time being! After I went down, the leader merged editing, distribution and advertising, and I was in charge. There are 1 1 staff below.

Two years later, Fu Xiao quit his job and went to the provincial capital to do business. I heard it's very good, and I often ask Xiaomei and other salesmen to help me promote the products. Once, the workstation had a group dinner, and Xiaomei came with her toddler son. When everyone saw the little boy, they immediately thought of Fu Xiao, because it was so similar. I immediately remembered that a salesman had quietly told me about Xiaomei and Fu Xiao before. It seems that it really happened, but I still drink and chat quietly with everyone, because that is someone else's private life and I have no right to interfere.

Another year passed, Xiaomei divorced her husband, and she left home with her son. We don't know whether she went to Fu Xiao or not, because since then, Xiaomei and Fu Xiao have lost contact with all of us. Some people say that Fu Xiao took Xiaomei and her son to work in Shanghai, while others say that they went to work in Guiyang. ......

From this story, I just want to tell you that there is no proper relationship between subordinates. If they hadn't been stabbed and made a big fuss, as leaders, they would have turned a blind eye and pretended not to know. Once they make a scene, as leaders, they will be severely criticized and told not to be together again, so as not to be punished.

Generally speaking, as a management, I don't ask about other people's private lives, but it's very troublesome to make trouble. A man and a woman in the unit are in love. I wonder how the woman's husband knows. He came to the company to play his wife's lover, which made a department look down. He called a minister and advised the woman's husband to stop. Finally, I went out in person and gave the man a bottle of mineral water. After drinking wine and saying a few words, the man left.