Do you agree that the way mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along is to "distinguish the hostess at home and don't expect too much from each other"?

Since ancient times, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have been a pair of complicated and difficult creatures. How to deal with their relationship is even more difficult, from danger to incompatibility.

Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes, and where there are rivers and lakes, we must deal with all kinds of interpersonal relationships. As small as friends and colleagues. As big as relatives, couples.

If you are a woman, you are lucky to have the most complicated and difficult relationship. Of course, the premise of this relationship is that you have to get married, and unmarried people are another matter.

Congratulations, I like to mention "mother-in-law relationship".

This relationship is not complicated, but it is not simple, just a little subtle. How subtle is it? It is difficult to grasp the method and degree of managing this relationship well.

Even if you master it, you may not be able to use it well in practice, because everyone has individual differences in this relationship.

How to manage this complex relationship well, the following two points may give you some inspiration. As for how well everyone uses it, different people have different opinions.

1, distinguish the hostess at home.

Whether it is a successful person or a mortal like you and me. And the dazzling stars that seem to have saved the surface of the galaxy. As long as you get married, you have to face the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

It is said that the best distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that a bowl of water is flat. After all, distance produces beauty, but the variety show My Favorite Woman takes her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to travel and do things together.

Boy, the program gave a test of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law at the beginning.

The program group first took them to a messy apartment to see the leadership and coordination ability of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in housework.

Zhang Jinjia is Ada Choi who takes the initiative to do all the dirty work, and basically does it alone, always putting her mother-in-law first.

Zhang Lunshuo's mother-in-law, the boss, has been guiding Christy Chung. Fortunately, this goddess daughter-in-law has a good temper and has no complaints at all.

Yuan Chengjie's mother doesn't express any opinions about the quarrel between her son and daughter-in-law, and works silently.

Needless to say, Shuoyang's mother and daughter-in-law Wang Liwen usually get along very well, and work hard with Qi Xin to get the job done.

It is worth mentioning that in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in Christy Chung, who should do housework according to? The key to this problem is that no matter who is the hostess, you have to listen to him.

Mother-in-law or wife

Some people may say that it must be the mother-in-law, the elder, respecting the old and loving the young, not listening to the mother-in-law, and listening to whom.

Some people will say, daughter-in-law, although my mother-in-law used to be the hostess, now that my daughter-in-law has entered the door, the baton will naturally pass to her daughter-in-law.

NONONO！ It depends on who is the hostess, the core of the focus: it depends on whose home.

My parents are sure that my mother-in-law is the hostess; The son's house is undoubtedly the daughter-in-law's. As long as the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law figure this out, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be reduced by at least 50%.

Add a WeChat group on the Internet, which is the daughter-in-law of a group of tucao's mother-in-law.

In my son's house, I don't consider my daughter-in-law's lifestyle, and I ask everything to be done according to my own ideas.

Mother-in-law who has been talking for three days and nights.

Not to mention the mother-in-law, downstairs in the community and on the square stool, a group of sunset red old ladies can be seen everywhere, gathering people to condemn how kind and ignorant their daughter-in-law is. Even the media sometimes demonizes the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

Actually, it's not necessary

There is a serious lack of sense of boundaries between families in China.

Mother-in-law always leans on the old and sells the old, presides over the overall situation and is in charge of "family affairs and state affairs"; Daughter-in-law always comes from behind, does her duty and vows to fight against authority.

The result is a lose-lose situation. I pity my husband for this sandwich biscuit.

Although the husband's sandwich biscuits play an important role in regulating the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. But to be honest, if two people really want to occupy the commanding heights, no matter how cute and capable sandwiches and biscuits are, they can only bow their heads silently and shed two lines of tears.

So, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along:

1. My mother-in-law is at her wife's house.

Daughter-in-law would rather wash clothes every day than every week, as she wishes; It doesn't matter whether the daughter-in-law is willing to take charge of economic power or whether the son is willing; The daughter-in-law would rather go shopping than spoil her son. She didn't see it.

2. The daughter-in-law is at her mother-in-law's house.

Mother-in-law can eat whatever she likes, after all, she doesn't eat much; Mother-in-law can take care of children as long as they are healthy and happy; My mother-in-law nags as much as she likes. At most, it goes in one ear and out the other.

Regardless of the mother-in-law, always remind yourself to distinguish the occasion, who is the hostess, and put yourself in a correct position.

Knowing how to divide each other's lives and appropriate limits, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will naturally bypass.

2. Don't expect too much from each other.

Dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really a technical job. Otherwise, you see, TV plays are on every day.

Before, there were double-sided tape, spicy mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and then there was a mother-in-law, who was also a mother. Why didn't your father-in-law come? His father-in-law is also a father.

Right? This also proves from the side that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not easy to handle.

In addition to the above-mentioned "recognizing the identity of the hostess", there is another trick that is not to expect too much from each other.

Every time I see the happy ending of my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in TV series, I can't wait to give a knife to the screenwriter after the eighty-one difficulty.

Of course, it does not rule out that some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really get along well in reality.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two extremes, either as close as mother and daughter, or as close as a stone that drowned two sons.

In fact, most mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are between the two: not so close and not so far away.

In My Favorite Woman, Ada Choi's family searched for a hotel together, and Ada Choi proposed to search separately in order to improve efficiency. Mother-in-law was afraid of getting lost after separation and resolutely disagreed, but the queen went her own way.

Sure enough, Ada Choi got lost.

Max Zhang insisted on finding a wife first, and then looking for a hotel together.

However, mother Zhang said that she didn't know where Marat safin was anyway, or she might have found the hotel first, in the hotel.

Max Zhang couldn't refute her mother, and she couldn't get in touch with her daughter-in-law. She contacted the empress while walking, and had to accept her mother's nagging and spitting all the way. It seems that this sandwich biscuit doesn't work well either.

Max Zhang, who first found the hotel, hurriedly arranged for her mother to pour out all the way and hurried to find her dear Marat safin.

After some tossing, the family is finally happy.

Mother-in-law began to reverse the mode again.

Suffering from the cool breeze, the queen suppressed the power of the flood in her body, silently closed her eyes and endured her mother-in-law's nagging.

The endless words on the video barrage have nailed this mother-in-law to the gallows of the evil mother-in-law.

The screen is full of independent women in the new era who are distressed by Fenfen, and her mother-in-law looks bitter and sighs. It's really her mother-in-law not her mother.

But is Ada Choi's mother-in-law really so unbearable, so mean and so vicious?

No, she's just a little nagging and complaining as an elderly mother-in-law.

Walking at night, my mother-in-law was afraid that the empress would be cold and wanted to tie her scarf several times. Empress to experience the high-altitude project, mother-in-law anxiously probe out, can't wait to find Marat safin; When choosing a family-themed photo, my mother-in-law repeatedly stressed that there must be a group photo of three people to be complete.

All this, look, is he that bad?

Don't exaggerate other people's shortcomings, especially I don't mean it maliciously.

There is a law of diminishing marginal utility in economics. With the increase of consumers' consumption of a commodity, the utility increment that consumers get from each consumption unit of the commodity is decreasing.

In short, when you are hungry, someone gives you a cage of steamed bread. The first one tastes delicious, the second one feels fine, the third one is a little full, the fourth one is a little bloated, and the fifth one is a little disgusting.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also uses this law.

When others treat you better, you are full of joy and better, you are elated and better, and you are grateful.

In the end, you take it for granted, even a little picky, until you find fault with eggs.

To err is human. When criticizing how her mother-in-law treats herself, think about how she treats her mother-in-law.

You expect others to treat you as your own daughter, and first see if you treat her as your own mother.

Remember not to expect too much from each other.

Give me a little warmth, I will appreciate it.

It is my duty to help me, but it is my duty not to help.

3. The correct way to open the harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

It must be admitted that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are gathered under one roof only because of a man of the same sex.

They are not related by blood and know nothing about each other's lifestyles in the first half of their lives.

So, don't force yourself, and don't be too hard on others.

As PaPi sauce said when talking about her mother-in-law, "I only leave my temper to my noble mother."

In fact, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mutual respect and understanding. Keep a certain limit, expect less and be more grateful.

In addition, it is best to add a husband who can do things.

What kind of husband is it? It is estimated that Tu Lei said in "Love War": A husband who can handle affairs will guard from both ends, and a husband who can't handle affairs will pass from both ends.

If it is "harmonious mother-in-law relationship+lovely sandwich biscuit husband", it is estimated to be perfect!