What are the rules for engagement and marriage in Shandong?

Shandong's engagement and marriage rules are different. Are there different customs in Shili? A place is the same as a village, and one family has its own rules. In short, there is no uniform regulation and no hard and fast indicators. Everyone looks at the actual situation of each family. I can only give you a rough idea.

My hometown is like this now. Boys and girls are in love. When it comes to getting married, the man will find an introducer. This person can be a relative or a friend. As long as you believe, go to the woman's house to propose marriage and tell the girl's parents that your daughter is good-natured, good-looking, virtuous and will live. She has been attracted by so-and-so parents and asked me to come and propose to you. Of course. The proposal means: Your daughter did a good job and didn't embarrass her parents. If the girl's parents agree, the next step is to put forward conditions and requirements. Generally speaking, the betrothal should be made first, then the date should be issued, and then the specifications of the bride price and wedding ceremony should be put forward. Once everything has been discussed, the betrothal will tell the man and the woman's family requirements.

The man began to prepare and went to the woman's house to get engaged first. Generally, it is an eight-color ceremony, and carp is essential. Six is bigger than eight, the better. If it is very small, some people will laugh. The other seven gifts are not fixed, as long as they are in pairs, the more expensive the better, indicating that the man will be generous and have face. And engagement gifts. It used to be one in a hundred, one in a thousand, but now it's one in a hundred thousand, and it's still one in a million for the rich. Gifts are not afraid of many, they represent status, wealth and face. Everything goes well, and the girl's parents are fine with it. They will put a pair of boys' shoes and their daughter's birthday in the shoes. These shoes are called pedal shoes, which means that boys can come to see girls when they have time. If he doesn't have these shoes, he can't. Birthday is a good day for both parties, and his daughter will get married.

The woman will give the carp to her respected elders, entertain the prominent people in the family, tell all the people in the group that her daughter has been taken, let everyone look at the man's gift, and then introduce the man's family situation. Actually, it's just to show off that my daughter has found a good husband's family.

After the engagement ceremony, it means that the marriage has been settled. They are future in-laws. The next step is to send the day, and sending the day also requires eight-color gifts. The most important thing is big steamed bread. It depends on the number of relatives and friends of the woman, but it can be 60 or 80, 120. The size of steamed bread is generally the amount of one catty of dry flour. Cut round flowers with red paper and put them on the big steamed bread. Happy steamed bread is to be distributed to friends and relatives, which means to tell everyone that it is time to prepare a gift "order tea", just like sending a wedding invitation. People who see steamed bread will send gifts and blessings when their daughters get married.

Besides the eight formal gifts, there should be a pair of Fu Bao. One is the fixed bride price money wrapped by Li, three gold necklaces, earrings and rings, three silver bracelets, bowls and spoons, and the selected wedding date. This "day" should be written on red paper with a brush, wrapped in a 6-foot-long red cloth and tied with a pair.

The other bag is the dress and underwear worn on the wedding day, cotton-padded jacket and trousers, shoes for sleeping and getting up, and red hijab. Bring red pants. Red socks, red tether, that is to say, the bride's family can have a lot of dowry, but what she has on her head must belong to her husband's family.

There should also be a pair of washbasins. There is a set of cosmetics, a mirror, a comb, a towel and a bar of soap in a washbasin. Another washbasin contains scissors, thimbles, embroidery thread and embroidery needle.

Then discuss the wedding day, pay attention to what car to use, when to leave, when to go through the door, how many girls will see guests off, how many men will welcome guests, the driver on the bus, how much money to ring, how many red envelopes to pass by. There are several bridges, rivers and intersections on the road, and red envelopes should be scattered. This is good luck.

On the wedding day, the groom's family was very lively and held a banquet. Guests can eat whenever they want, and every household will come to congratulate them. There are people in charge of tea and rice, people who remember red envelopes, people who set off firecrackers, people who distribute candy, peanuts and cigarettes, people who make money by handing out red envelopes, people who make quilts, press beds and pillows for newcomers, and people who accompany them. The nearest neighbor is responsible for delivering bed-pushing meals to the bride and groom, which means giving birth early.

At the end of this day, it can be said that people do their best and spend money like water. 180,000 No one can't play. Some people have been scrimping and saving all their lives to prepare this wedding for their son. Everyone has a good face, the bride price is increasing, the scene is getting bigger and bigger, and they are competing with each other. Whose girl receives more bride price, whose wedding is tall and whose face is big, these are things worth showing off for a lifetime. Having a son, not counting the cost of education, can eliminate the production of poor families only by getting married, so there are more and more older young people in rural areas.

Ten miles is different, and seventeen cities in Shandong are different! One in a million (1000 1), 48,000 on the safe side, three together (3 1800), colorful and green (about 200,000). In the southwest of Shandong Province, three catties and three liang are weighed by scales, all of which are betrothal gifts and do not move (cars and houses). The above is the bride price, and there are many procedures and sayings in its customs, which are as follows: betrothal, engagement, marriage, returning to the door and so on. It varies from person to person, and the custom of bride price is discussed!

My date and I have just got engaged, and we come from the rural area of Jining, Shandong. We are in free love. I bought 60 Jin of sugar when I got engaged, and the meeting ceremony cost 88,000 yuan. Then their family gave us 8000 yuan back. Neither of our families has rules. I didn't go when I got engaged. I went with a matchmaker and an elder.

Southeast Shandong, Linshu, Shandong, got engaged, and her husband's family gave eleven thousand yuan, bought two clothes and a gold necklace, but didn't know to buy clothes for the man. At that time, I paid back 1000, and it was over. At that time, my husband just bought a house, so I discussed it and went through the motions.

My home is in Jiaodong. Let's talk about the custom of getting married and eating in Jiaodong.

Wedding banquets in all parts of Shandong are very particular, mostly auspicious things such as chicken and fish.

There are some special things in Jiaodong. At the wedding reception, the fish must be cooked from the whole tail, and scaly fish should be used. There is a saying "Don't weigh, don't serve", because not weighing is suspected of being "single" and unlucky. In some rural areas, if there is no fish, use "wooden fish" instead.

For example, in Zhaoyuan and other places, poor families can't afford to buy fish, so they carve it into a complete fish shape with wood carvings and fry it with batter. After serving, they just look and don't eat. This custom has disappeared now.

In Rongcheng, oysters (that is, oysters) are a must for the wedding banquet of Shidao fishermen. Oyster is homophonic with "Lizi" and "Lizi", which means that the newlyweds get the meaning of your son early.

The coordinates are in the rural area of Heze, Shandong Province. My village, including the surrounding Shiliba village, has a huge amount of betrothal gifts for boys. Even compared with the rural areas of the country, it is not inferior. After all, there must be a lot of bride price standards of 300,000 to 400,000. Garage is standard, household appliances are bought by the man, and hardware jewelry is not a problem. It is even more natural for sheep to get engaged and get married. After all, this thing is really not worthwhile. Similarly, there is not much difference between two marriages and three marriages. Completely equal.

My second uncle's son next door is 20 years old and has been dating at home for two or three years. There are at least 70 or 80 blind dates, and each time it ends in discord for some unwarranted reasons. He has never been able to do this. This spring, he went out to work and met a little girl from Henan. They have been in love and have a very good relationship. Not long after the Chinese New Year, my second uncle wanted to meet her parents.

For the first time, his uncle asked someone to go to the woman's house in Henan to inquire. The woman said that according to their custom, the matchmaking ceremony was 88,000. When my uncle heard about it, he was so happy that he couldn't even think about the amount of 88 thousand yuan bride price. My uncle replied directly and gave it to you directly100000, which is perfect.

Everyone in the village envied his uncle's good luck. The son found a girlfriend as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade, and the bride price was even less. But who knows that before long, the woman changed her mind. The woman's brother called and said: We inquired here that it is ok for two children to get married, but we can't get the bride price here. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. How much bride price do you usually give us? We don't want to settle accounts with our brothers, so we can get the bride price of 300 thousand directly. It can be done. Let's settle this marriage and decide when to get married.

After receiving this call, the second uncle's family accepted this marriage without hesitation. Although100,000 has become 300,000, after all, compared with the bride price of 400,000 in most places, the money is still less. In addition, the woman also generously said: after the engagement, the furniture and home appliances are not in the hands of the man, and the woman is responsible for buying them. The rest of the etiquette is simple, and the second uncle's family happily took the children and ended the marriage.

What are the rules for engagement and marriage in Shandong? Three miles is different, ten miles is different, and the rules and customs of engagement and marriage in Shandong are very different, so we can't generalize. Here, let's talk about the general wedding etiquette in Heze County.

The basic process of blind date

The first thing to say is that in Heze rural areas, men and women are engaged to get married now, or according to their parents' orders, and there are many matchmakers in every village. Through their own experiences, these matchmakers take the boys they think are suitable to girls' homes for blind date.

The general routine is to bring boys to girls' homes, say hello politely, and then leave boys and girls alone. Everyone must pay attention to the fact that the time spent alone is generally around 10 minutes, which is very important. Boys should seize this ten minutes to have a perfect communication with girls and use his skills.

If a girl has a crush on a boy, she will leave her contact information. If the woman doesn't want to leave contact information and refuses to give her phone number, it means that the girl doesn't like this boy, and this blind date will be over.

If the woman is interested in the man, both parties should leave a contact information to facilitate communication. Usually the communication time is about ten days and a half months. At this time, if two people communicate well and have a good impression on each other, they will meet again at the urging of the matchmaker. It should be noted that the first blind date, the man will go alone, the second meeting, there will be the man's elders, such as uncles. This is also the second meeting between parents of both sides. Usually, the woman asks the man to see the second trip, which represents this marriage. Of course, some women will find more problems when they meet the man for the second time, and then refuse the man. This is also the case.

After men and women have met twice, if there is no problem, then there will be time for two young people to communicate. Generally speaking, this time is about a month. In this month, two young people meet, eat together, fall in love and cultivate feelings. If there is no problem this month, and their relationship is still very good, then it is time to get engaged.

Rules of engagement in rural areas

As for the engagement step, this marriage has basically become. As for the detailed rules, these are all discussed by the parents and elders of both sides in advance. Generally speaking, a restaurant will be set up first, and the man's house will go to several tables and the woman's house will go to several tables. Relatives of both sides sit together for a meal, and this marriage is basically completed.

At the engagement party, the protagonist must be a bride price and a man and a woman. Take out 300,000 to 400,000 cash directly, and then prepare 100 boxes. You read it correctly, basically 100 cases, plus a sheep and send it directly to the woman. If you use this sheep, the woman will definitely stay. This is 100. In fact, many of these 100 boxes are duplicated, such as many boxes of apples, oranges, drinks and so on. Just fill in a number and go through a process. It won't cost much. After all, these gifts are refundable.

After the engagement, boys and girls will basically be in the morning and evening, and then after a while, the man will find someone who has a glib tongue and has seen the world at home and go to the woman's house to discuss an engagement time. Here, it's called marriage. It is good to discuss with each other when to get married, which means to get married. Just to remind everyone, in a good time, the woman will not agree the first time. Of course, it's a matter of face. The person in charge of marriage came out of the woman's house, then walked around the street casually and stepped into the door of the woman's house for the second time, and then this good thing was given to you, that is, the two sides set a wedding date. Of course, good wine is inevitable, so remember, the person in charge of marriage must be eloquent and drink well.

The rules of marriage

Usually here, we are engaged and married in the same year. There is basically no alternate year. They were all completed in the same year. After the two sides set the wedding date, the man's family began to prepare for the wedding, such as decorating the house and buying household appliances and furniture. These are small things.

On the day before the wedding, the man will kowtow to the ancestral graves at home and kowtow to the elders in the village the next morning. These were all taken by village managers, as well as performances by the suona team. Generally, this is the case, but in some places, women also ask not to suona, and everything should be done according to the rules of women.

The married motorcade was found by the man's relatives and friends, generally free of charge, and each car generally gave a cigarette. The main rule is that when the woman gets off the bus, her mother-in-law will pick flowers for her in the future, which is actually to take money, usually starting from 2000 yuan, and how much is discussed in advance. And the woman's nephew will send curtains, just for the money. Most of the people who came to deliver the curtains were two children.

After the bride gets off the bus, other etiquette arrangements can basically be made by the master of ceremonies. At this time, the bride and groom don't have to worry, just enjoy their wedding, because someone will tell you what to do with all the etiquette. On this day, you are the protagonists, so don't worry about doing anything wrong.

Our rural wedding in Heze is basically like this. Now there is a special emcee team to handle it, and the director of the red and white Council in the village has full command, so there will be no mistakes. In short, the bride and groom are congenial and the bride price is in place. Then this marriage is smooth sailing, there will be no mistakes, and the bride price is not in place. This will be difficult. I hope all lovers in the world will be well, and face marriage.

I live in Heze in the southwest of Shandong, which is the poorest area in Shandong and the place with the highest bride price in Shandong.

Here, if anyone has two sons, their parents are doomed to never die. I'll tell you the details slowly:

When young men and women are in love, the man will give the woman a gift. There used to be three levels of etiquette: 33,000, 66,000 and 99,000. There are many reasons for choosing which etiquette: it depends on the man's condition. If the man has good conditions, is not short of money and loves face, he will choose high etiquette; Men and women can also negotiate with each other and determine the etiquette after bargaining.

Now the etiquette of the meeting ceremony has hardly changed, and it is 99 thousand. The reasons for it were not known I thought: maybe life has improved and a rising tide lifts all boats.

Next thing you know, you're engaged. In the past, engagement ceremonies were very simple. The introducer and the man take a bride price (gift) to the woman's house to exchange birthdays between men and women, which is the so-called "post-exchange" ceremony. Now the engagement ceremony is also very grand. Most of them are arranged in hotels and "engagement rooms" are also arranged. The bride price ranges from 99,000 to 300,000 to 400,000, and some even reach 600,000 to 700,000. The gifts are ten tens or six sixes. Ten tens: ten kinds of gifts, ten boxes of each. Six sixes means the same thing).

If nothing else happens, the next step is to determine the wedding time. Before fixing the wedding time, both men and women have a ceremony of "discussing things" in-laws. The man's father will go to the woman's house to discuss with the gift money and meal money. The amount of this gift is not necessarily, there are hundreds of thousands and 80 thousand; There are also 60 thousand. The situation of each family is different, and the gift money is different.

After going through various levels, the wedding day is finally coming. The man will find ten Audi (or BMW) cars to marry the bride. When getting married, the man will bring half a fan of pork. If there is no pork, he can use 2000 yuan (several thousand yuan) in cash instead. There are also trifles at the wedding, but they don't cost much. A lot of money was spent on the banquet on the wedding day. No matter how much it costs, it is very happy for the man, because the dust has finally settled.

Do you want to get married, knowing the engagement and marriage process in southwest Shandong?

There are many free lovers in Shandong now, and of course they are introduced by matchmakers. After a period of communication, it's time for men and women to get engaged and have an engagement party. The engagement party is usually arranged by the man. Invite friends and relatives to congratulate each other, write a marriage certificate, or verbally agree that the man will send a bride price to the woman.

Bridal price is essential in the engagement process, and it has been the focus of China's engagement since ancient times. In most places, bride price includes bride price and three gold or hardware, and hardware refers to gold rings, necklaces, earrings, bracelets and anklets.

Maybe there are only children around the city, and the bride price is very few, ranging from 6 1800 to 65438+ 10,000. Houses are generally bought by men, and cars are generally bought by women. Those with good conditions will buy better ones, but the conditions are average. Anyway, few people fall out over these things.

Once engaged, the two sides officially changed their minds and became in-laws.

After the official "registration", the man chose an auspicious day to get married, announced the wedding date, and posted a post. On the day before the auspicious wedding, the man sent a box (containing big meat) to the woman's house, which was called "farewell ceremony" or "Cui makeup ceremony"; Meanwhile, the matchmaker and the new son-in-law are familiar with the wedding route. In the past, the rule was to take a female sedan chair and a male sedan chair. At the same time, decorated with lanterns and feasts, some invited gongs and drums to play, creating a happy and peaceful holiday atmosphere. The woman sends a team to see the bride off, the men and women see the guests off and press the sedan chair, the two teenagers follow the sedan chair and the two children press the sedan chair, all of which will receive the "reward" from the man. When the man arranges to accompany the new relatives of men and women, he should be diligent and articulate, and should not neglect the guests;

When you get married, hold a banquet, and relatives of both men and women are present to try to meet all the requirements of the woman. The gift money is her own, and so is the banquet. The woman will take the initiative to pay. As for whether the man accepts it or not, it is the man's business.

After the banquet, go back to the groom's house and have a good rest, you know!

The rules are different in every place, right? We are from Heze, Shandong, and our neighbor's sister just got engaged a few days ago. Bridal gift188,000 yuan, Chinese bar 10, wine 10 box, three gold pieces, candy and so on. Find acquaintances to introduce relatives to two new people. After the two families had dinner, the engagement was completed.

When you get married, the south still gives the woman a gift (it is said that it is called clothes money). Now it costs 88 thousand, and there is a change fee on the wedding day. Anyway, the rules are almost the same as before, but the bride price is much more.

If the man wants to bring a bride price on the day of engagement, it must be coins, and eight strong men should be found to carry it. The man will pack eight tables in the hotel to entertain the woman's family. If the woman has children, she will give each child a red envelope, 800 yuan. When getting married, the man should prepare 99 cars to welcome the bride, and the hotel should book 99 tables. The bride and groom must wear bikinis on this day, the parents of the woman should give the son-in-law a red envelope of 99w, the parents of the man should prepare a change fee of 99w, and the bride and groom should drink 99 glasses of wine.