(I think my question can be said to be representative of all questions) How to really use your answers...

Please refer to these two articles:

Learn to get along with different people

In life, we often encounter so-called "difficult to get along with" people people. Some people are taciturn all day long, and even if you ask for a topic, they will ignore you; some people are aloof and arrogant, and seem to be full of hostility towards you; some people are grumbling and complaining all day long; some people are critical of your work. Picky in every possible way; some people are shallow, boring, and full of low-level taste... If you only get along with these people occasionally, the problem is that sometimes you will be forced to interact, get along, and have sex with them for a long time. In this case Next, your troubles are imaginable. How to deal with these difficult people is indeed an art.

Look for the reasons within yourself

First of all, you must make it clear whether this kind of trouble is your own problem, or whether it is caused by your excessive demands on others. You can try interacting with the people around you to see if the person you think of as a "difficult person" appears to others to be the same. If others don't feel this way, then you have to find the reason in yourself or in the relationship between the two of you.

Use the empathy method

For a truly difficult person, you need to learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand their situation, which is the movement empathy method. You don't have to argue with him, let alone force him to do something, but calmly ask him why he treats others this way. In this case, even if your purpose is not achieved, it can be alleviated to a certain extent. your relationship. Of course, the reasons he puts forward may seem very ridiculous to you, and you don’t have to refute him immediately. Instead, try to find some real elements in his words (this must be there). In this way , can further ease the relationship between you and make both parties feel comfortable.

Listening and communicating

Of course, doing the above is not an easy task. Here, it is recommended that you learn to do something that some psychological counseling experts often do, that is, learn to listen. "Listening" is sometimes more important than hundreds of "talking". At the same time, you cannot use appropriate methods to let him know that you are very uncomfortable with the way he treats you. This method can often soften the hostile mood of a difficult person. If in this case, the other party still does not accept your favor, you can bluntly confess to him that "now" is not the best time to talk, and "after a while" you will need to communicate more, and emphasize that this is You both have to do the work. The purpose of this is to enable both parties to get out of the deadlock gracefully. If you can deal with the right "difficult person" in a tolerant and generous way, then over time, the other person will consciously or unconsciously change his behavior to align with your high level, thus avoiding a lot of unnecessary trouble. .

====================================

Find the entry point for successful communication

The entry point of communication plays a vital role in the outcome of communication. If you cut in well, the communication will be successful; if you cut in poorly, you will not be able to achieve the expected results. So, how to accurately enter into communication?

1. Strive to seek closeness and recognition

A person's first impression leaves the deepest impression on others, and others can roughly see a person's inner qualities from this. Similarly, whether a person is lovable depends on whether he can gain the recognition of others and how well he can adapt to the emotional needs of others.

1. Care for those closest to him. Everyone always cares about the people closest to them. Once they find out that others also care about the people they care about, they will feel an extremely close feeling. Communication can take advantage of people's similar psychological tendencies, start from caring about the people closest to them, and shorten the distance of communication.

Ichiro Kono, who was once as powerful as former Japanese Prime Minister Eisaku Sato, is the best at taking advantage of this subtle psychology of people. Once when Ichiro Kono was traveling in Europe and the United States, he met Mr. Chika Yonekura, a friend he had not seen for many years and had become a stranger in New York. After the two talked about their current situation, they both left their domestic addresses and phone numbers, knowing that they had become a family to each other. That night, the first thing Ichiro Kono did when he returned to the hotel was to hang up a long-distance phone call to Mrs. Kon Yonekura Kon: "I am an old friend of Kono Chika. My name is Kono Ichiro. We met in New York. Everything about him was very good. good.

"

Mrs. Konkura Yonekura did not expect that her husband's friend would be so caring and considerate to her husband, and she was moved to tears. Chika Yonekura found out later and made a special trip to express her gratitude to him.

2. Build up the consciousness of "compatriots" in his heart. The main reason why Guan Yu and Zhang Fei are so loyal to Liu Bei in "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms" is because of Liu Huangshu's relationship with him. Guan and Zhang became sworn brothers as soon as they met each other, and the consciousness of "compatriots" was firmly rooted in Guan and Zhang's minds. , you can make the other party relax their guard against you and accept yourself as "one of your own"

Tanaka Giichi is a well-known politician in Japan. He is very good at taking advantage of people's closeness. , Create a warm communication environment to achieve the desired communication effect. Once, when he went on a political tour in Hokkaido, a well-dressed man who looked like a local celebrity came out of the welcoming line to express his greetings. He stepped forward, held the man's hands tightly, and said enthusiastically: "Ah, you have worked hard. How are you, your father? "The man was so moved that he was speechless for a moment. Tanaka Yiichi's political tour was also a great success. Afterwards, Tanaka Yiichi's entourage was very puzzled by his master's intimate behavior and couldn't help asking: "That man Who is it? Tanaka Yiichi's answer was unexpected: "How do I know, but everyone has a father!" ”

Tanaka Yiichi’s communication success is undoubtedly because he chose a better communication entry point, that is, he quickly established a sense of family affection in the mind of the man, making him feel that he is a trustworthy and affable person. People thus have a psychological sense of identification with Tanaka Yiichi.

3. Helping people with enthusiasm is the best way to win people's favor in daily life. People who are not stingy and helpful can always gain a good reputation among neighbors and colleagues, because people are generally willing to get to know these warm-hearted people. For example, you can help a neighbor who is going upstairs to carry some gas. Become a frequent visitor to his home; place the luggage for a passenger who has just boarded the bus, and you will have an extra companion on the journey; make a cup of tea for a busy colleague, and you will be rewarded with kindness

4. ．Warm the ice in his heart with warmth. People generally believe that a period of time after the conflict between the two parties breaks out is the freezing point of communication. But if one party can take the initiative to make a kind move that is completely contrary to the other party's expectations, it will be. Make the other party identify with you in astonishment, admiration, and respect, thus turning enemies into friends. This is the starting point for successful communication.

When Washington, the founding president of the United States, was still a colonel. , who was stationed at Alexandria with his troops, there was a man named William Penn who opposed the candidate favored by Washington. Washington and Penn formed a confrontation. Washington made rude remarks and offended Penn. In anger, Penn punched Washington to the ground. After hearing the news, Washington's men were furious and the troops immediately came over to teach Penn a lesson. Well. Washington stopped them on the spot and persuaded them to return to the camp, so a fight was temporarily avoided.

The next morning, Washington sent someone a note asking him to arrive as soon as possible. Payne arrived at a local tavern in a bad mood. He guessed that Washington would have a duel with him. However, unexpectedly, Washington held a sumptuous banquet there. When he arrived, he immediately stood up to greet him, stretched out his hand with a smile, and said: "Mr. Payne, it is human nature to make mistakes, and it is an honorable thing to correct them. I believe it was my fault yesterday and that you were already satisfied to some extent. If you think it can be settled here, then take my hand and let's be friends. "Washington's passionate words moved Payne. From then on, Payne became a passionate supporter of Washington.

2. Satisfy the psychological needs of the other party

People both There are obvious personality psychology and general sexual psychology. If we can target people's sexual psychology in communication activities, we can achieve satisfactory communication results. People's sexual psychology includes: 1. ; 2. Achievement psychology; 4. Self-confidence psychology; 6. Respect psychology; and so on.

Taking meeting the other party's psychological needs as the entry point of communication is a shortcut to successful communication activities.

1. The method of praise satisfies people's psychology of praise. People all have a need to show their self-worth. Sincere praise can not only stimulate people's positive psychological emotions and obtain psychological satisfaction, but also make the person being praised have an impulse to communicate. Xiao Wang from a certain factory is a calligraphy enthusiast. He has always wanted to get to know the retired deputy director Zhao and learn the art of brush calligraphy with him, but unfortunately there has never been a good opportunity. Once, the trade union held a calligraphy and painting exhibition for veteran cadres. Xiao Wang went to visit and met Deputy Factory Director Zhao who was also at the exhibition. Xiao Wang walked silently beside Deputy Director Zhao. When he came to Deputy Director Zhao’s exhibition work, Xiao Wang seemed to be talking to himself: “This work by Deputy Director Zhao is good, no matter the layout. The structure and brushwork of the characters are still lively and not messy, and the blank space is authentic. "It's just that the changes in writing are a bit stagnant and not open enough," said Deputy Director Zhao next to him. In this way, they naturally entered into the evaluation of the next work. The interaction between Xiao Wang and Deputy Director Zhao achieved initial success.

2． Incentive methods satisfy people's achievement psychology. People want to do their best in the work they love and achieve commendable achievements. If this achievement mentality can be inspired by others, it will definitely arouse his gratitude and reward psychology. A farmer who often visited my father once said something to me that has become one of the most unforgettable words in my memory. He said: "I have been grateful to your father from the bottom of my heart for many years, and regard your father's words as my magic weapon to get rich. When I was the poorest in my life, your father once patted me on the shoulder and said: 'My son , cheer up, the weather will always be sunny. '"

3. The method of asking for advice satisfies people's self-dazzling psychology. People are proud of their own skills. If you want to get to know these people, asking for advice is the most effective way to start. For example, in the previous example, Xiao Wang, who loves calligraphy, made friends with Deputy Director Zhao in this way: Xiao Wang came to Deputy Director Zhao’s house with his calligraphy exercises: “Mr. Zhao, I felt benefited from hearing you talk about calligraphy works last time. "I've written a few exercises myself and would like your advice." "Oh, let me take a look." They started talking about calligraphy. From then on, Xiao Wang and Deputy Director Zhao formed a lifelong friendship.

4． Appreciation method satisfies people's self-confidence. A person often firmly believes in the object he believes in or the approach he takes. Sometimes he would rather believe the facts he has always believed than accept correction from others. If you can appreciate what he likes, you will be able to gain his approval. A newlywed couple ordered a set of furniture. One day, an acquaintance came to visit and saw the new furniture at a glance. He looked at the furniture and the layout of the room with admiration, and repeatedly expressed that the color and style of the furniture were very harmonious with the room. The host was in a particularly cheerful mood and the atmosphere of the conversation was very harmonious.

5． The age-reducing method satisfies people's youthful psychology. People want to appear younger and more energetic in front of others. If communication starts from satisfying people's youthful psychology, a warm and harmonious communication atmosphere will soon be created, opening a convenient door for successful communication. The well-known Premier Zhou used "male years" (similar to kilograms and kilometers) to introduce the age of foreign guests' wives, which is a representative example.

6． The law of investment satisfies people's interest psychology. In life, we often hear such sayings: Whoever is not on the same page with whomever, will butt heads as soon as we meet; Whoever is so in love with whomever, we wish we could wear a pair of trousers. If you don't get along, you don't have the same interests and hobbies. If you get along, you have the same temperament. People generally like to associate with those who have the "same language" as themselves, but it is often difficult to associate with people who have opposite tastes. So, if you want to have successful communication, you can start by looking for compatible interests.

7. The greeting method satisfies people's respect psychology. In social interactions, gaining respect not only reflects a person's reputation and status, but also shows that his morality, conduct, knowledge, and talents have been recognized. Whether old or young, high or low, all expect respect from others. Therefore, it is reasonable for people to have a good impression of those who respect others. Active greeting is the most convenient and simplest communication behavior to express a person's respect. From greetings to social activities, there will be a satisfactory result in nine cases out of ten.

8． The concession method satisfies people's competitive psychology.

Consider an example: A customer owes Dietwool $150. One day, the customer burst into Mr. Dieter's office angrily and said that not only would he not pay the money, but he would never buy anything from Dieter's company again in his life. After the man spoke for nearly twenty minutes, Dieter continued: "I want to thank you for telling me this. You did me a favor. Since you can no longer buy wool from us, I will recommend you some other Woolen Materials Company, we will write off your debt."

Finally, this customer signed another larger order than ever before. After his son was born, he named his son Dieter, and he remained a friend and customer of Dieter's company. Dieter's success lies in his wise concessions, which satisfies the opponent's competitive mentality.