Ask yourself what kind of person are you?

In my personal filing cabinet, there is a folder with "Stupid Things I Have Done" written on it. I write down all the stupid things I've ever done and keep them in this folder. Sometimes I would dictate it orally and have my secretary record it. But sometimes these questions are too personal or too stupid to make me feel comfortable dictating them, so I have to write them down myself.

I still remember some of the things I put in this folder 15 years ago. If I could always be absolutely honest with myself, then the stupid things I have done would probably be included. Broken my filing cabinet. I can repeat here what King Thoreau said 1,300 years ago: "I have done stupid things, many stupid things."

Whenever I take out the words "I have done stupid things "Things" file, and when I reread my criticisms of myself, they all help me solve the most difficult problem I face, which is how to control myself.

I used to blame others for my troubles, but as I get older, I find that I should blame myself for almost all my misfortunes. Many people discover this as they get older. "No one but myself," Napoleon said when he was exiled, "No one but myself is responsible for my failure. I am my own worst enemy - and the source of my unfortunate fate." Roots. "

Let me tell you something about a person I know well: Whenever he is self-evaluating and controlling himself, he can be called an artist. His name is H.P. Howard. When the news of his sudden death in New York's Ambassador Hotel spread throughout the United States on July 31, 1944, the entire Wall Street was extremely shocked, because he was the leader of the United States' financial field-U.S. The chairman of a commercial bank and trust investment company, and a director of several large companies. He did not receive much formal education when he was a child. He only worked as a clerk in a small country store and later became the loan manager of the United States Steel Company. Then, his position became higher and higher, and his power became more and more powerful.

“For years, I’ve written down all my appointments for the day in a notepad,” Mr. Howard told me, when I asked him to explain his success. “My family has never They don't arrange any activities for me on Sunday night, because they all know that I spend some time every Sunday night to reflect on myself, review and review the work I have done this week. After dinner, I stay alone. In my room, I open my notepad and think about all the talks, discussions and meetings since Monday morning. I ask myself: 'What did I do wrong that time - what did I do right - and how can I improve?' Practice? ''What can I learn from this? ''Sometimes I find that this weekly review makes me unhappy, and even surprised by the mistakes I make as the years go by. The mistakes gradually decreased. This kind of self-analysis continued year after year, and it was the most meaningful thing I have ever done."

Perhaps Howard's approach came from his old age. Got it from Franklin, except Franklin wouldn't wait until Sunday night. He would review the day's events every night. He found that he made 13 serious mistakes, and here are just three of them - wasting time, worrying about small things, and conflicting and arguing with others. The wise Franklin discovered that unless he could reduce these errors, he would not be able to achieve great results. Therefore, he would pick out a shortcoming to correct every week, and then record the situation every day. Next week, he'll find another bad habit and, when he's ready, move on to another "battle." Franklin's struggle lasted more than two years. It's no wonder he became the most beloved and influential man America has ever seen.

Albert Hubbard said: "Everyone is a fool for at least 5 minutes every day. The so-called wisdom is how not to exceed the 5-minute limit."

Would you be angry if someone called you stupid? Will you feel resentful? Let's see how Lincoln handles this. Lincoln's Secretary of War, Edward Stanton, once scolded the president in this way.

Stanton was angry because of Lincoln's interference. In order to please some self-serving politicians, Lincoln signed an order to mobilize the corps. Stanton not only refused to carry out Lincoln's order, but also accused Lincoln of being foolish for signing the order. Someone told Lincoln about this, and Lincoln calmly replied: "If Stanton calls me stupid, I am probably really stupid, because he is almost always right. I will go and talk to him personally."

Lincoln really went to see Stanton. Stanton pointed out that his order was wrong, and Lincoln withdrew it. Lincoln had the grace to accept criticism as long as he believed the other person was sincere and interested in helping.

Most people often get angry because of criticism from others, but wise people find ways to learn from it. The poet Whitman once said: "Do you think you can only learn from those who like you, admire you, and agree with you? Can't you get more lessons from those who oppose you and criticize you?"

Instead of waiting for the enemy to attack us or our work, we can be our own harshest critics by doing it ourselves. We should recognize and deal with our weaknesses ourselves before others take advantage of them. Darwin did just that. When Darwin completed his monumental work, "The Origin of Species," he had realized that this revolutionary theory would shock the entire religious and academic circles. Therefore, he took the initiative to start self-review and spent 15 years constantly checking data, challenging his own theories, and criticizing his own conclusions.

I know a person who used to sell soap, and he often even asked people to criticize him. When he first started selling soap for Kegai Company, there were very few orders, which made him worried about losing the job. He knew there was nothing wrong with his soap and the price, so he figured the problem must be with him. So every time he didn't close a deal, he would walk down the street, hoping to figure out what the problem was: Was he speaking too vaguely? Is his attitude not enthusiastic enough? Sometimes he would go back to the customer and say: "I am not here to sell soap to you this time. I hope to get your suggestions and criticism. Can you please tell me when I sold soap to you a few minutes ago?" , what did I do wrong? You have more experience than me and are more successful than me. Please give me your criticism. Please tell me honestly and without concealment."

This kind of sincerity. His attitude won him many friends and much valuable advice.

What do you think happened to him? Now he is the chairman of CPP Soap Company - the largest soap company in the world. His name is E. H. Little. Last year, only 14 people in the United States earned more than him.

Charles Luckman is the president of Pestron Corporation, and he sponsors the Bob Hooper show for $1 million annually. He never read the letters praising the show, but the ones that criticized it. He knew he could learn a lot from these letters.

Ford also wanted to find out what shortcomings there were in their management and operations. So the company recently conducted an opinion survey among all employees and asked them to criticize the company.

Only extraordinary people could have done what H. P. Howard, Franklin, and E. H. Little did. Now, since no one is looking at you, why don't you look in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of person you are?

Because we can never be perfect, let us do what E. H. Little did and ask others to give us candid, helpful, and constructive criticism.

——Quoted from "The Complete Works of the Advantages of Human Nature" by Yanbian People's Publishing House