Summary and Experience of "Coach for Executives" Course

1. Based on Freudian psychoanalysis, it is believed that the subconscious mind is the real driving force that determines action, and the external expression of this driving force is certain emotions. Therefore, in the process of coaching, the observation and treatment of emotions is of great significance for us to establish affinity and trust with customers and for customers to achieve coaching results.

1. Executives will realize that they need to improve their leadership or achieve other goals, but they often struggle with internalization and implementation of changes.

2. Psychodynamics helps coaches understand what exists under the surface of their consciousness and rational thinking.

3. The conscious level will refuse to admit some emotions at the subconscious level, so there will be conflicts in the heart.

Emotion is not rational, but it is an invisible driving force and the basis of human behavior. Inner feelings often conflict with each other and with the rational mind. As coaches and managers, we need to take this into account.

In order to restore psychological security, human beings usually suppress some parts of themselves and expel them from their conscious minds in order to achieve harmony. So we solve inner conflicts through different subconscious psychological defense mechanisms.

2. In the course, according to some applications of psychoanalysis theory, the professor introduced the concept of "subconscious", eight commonly used psychological defense mechanisms, emotional contour triangle and six different leadership styles, all of which can help coaches understand customers better.

3. Throughout the course, the professor himself demonstrated with DEOM that students feel and learn that "positive empathy" and "sincere identification and recognition" have unparalleled power. This is the most critical way for coaches to build affinity and trust with customers and bring them out of the defense mechanism. To do this, coaches need to have deep insight into human nature and deep sympathy.

4. Leaders under the pressure of coaches-introduce the typical psychological defense mechanism in 8.

1, depression

Step 2 deny it

Step 3 transfer

4. Idealization/fragmentation

Step 5 rationalize

6. Rationalization/

Step 7 infer

8. Project identity

A these defense mechanisms are a normal part of human functions, which protect us from emotional threats and feel safe.

B, we usually use these mechanisms, but we don't realize it, because it is outside our conscious mind.

C. when the defense mechanism is overused or used too harshly, it will start to bring problems to yourself and others.

D, the coach should first try to identify the customer's defense mode and observe its influence on the customer's current behavior and thinking mode, especially those that don't work for the customer. These places are places where coaches help and support customers to improve.

5, emotional contour triangle-its model shows that leaders have one of the following contours as their main emotional style, each style can bring its own unique value. But with the gradual growth of leaders, most of them are more and more able to apply all three styles according to the needs of the situation.

Ask two questions: 1) Do you pay more attention to tasks or relationships?

? 2) Is emotional expression fuller or more restrained?

1, fighting type: energetic, enthusiastic and driven. Such leaders are task-oriented and good at achieving results with the highest standards.

The defensive response of an aggressive leader is: fight! Aggressiveness is aroused, and they try to control their anger, leading to the outbreak of criticism, irritability or strong passive aggression. The combat mode is the defense mode of a certain kind of people. Behaviourally, they attacked others, but inwardly, they felt that they had been attacked.

Combat leaders must focus on calming down, regaining their sense of cognition, reconnecting with others, and showing more empathy and appreciation.

2. Evasion type: enthusiastic, inclusive and value-oriented. These leaders pay attention to relationships, are good at forming trust and building high-performance teams.

The defensive response of the fleeing leader is to escape! Fear is aroused, and they try to control their fears, leading to passive or manipulative behavior and avoiding conflicts.

Avoidant leaders must focus on reconnecting tasks, find the courage to overcome fear, and be more honest with themselves and others.

Stiff type: calm, calm and calm. Such leaders focus on tasks and are good at using analysis and logic to solve complex problems. Stiff is also an escape, but the external performance is different.

The defense mode of rigid leadership is rigidity! Feeling closed, they try to connect with others' emotions, leading to alienation and lack of contact.

Stubborn leaders must focus on stimulating their emotional energy, reconnect with others, and be willing to take more risks in sharing their thoughts and feelings.

Emotional contour triangle exercise:

1, can you determine your emotional outline?

2. You think you will get yourself into a fight! Run! Stiff! What are the outstanding behavioral triggers?

3. What effect does this behavior have on colleagues and family members?

4. What can help you recover and manage your emotions and behaviors more effectively?

Use the triangle of emotional outline to guide your coaching process;

1, in the face of aggressive customers, we must affirm their kindness in the same way, while not agreeing with their aggressive behavior; Help them tolerate their weaknesses and weaken their harsh internal criticism.

2. In the face of runaway customers, help them adapt to their own strength, identify their negative feelings about themselves and others, and build the ability of authoritative behavior.

3. In the face of frozen customers, help them understand and accept the interpersonal needs of others, and communicate more openly with more emotional and physical abilities.

6. Six influence styles

1, rationality

2. Vision

Step 3 persuade in a friendly way

4. perseverance

Step 5 negotiate/trade

6. Influence (establishing contacts and alliances with key people)

(Influential Style Assessment Questionnaire)

7. Understand the psychological and emotional impact of organizational change.

Change is the external process of an organization, and transformation is the internal emotional and psychological process experienced by people affected by change when they adapt to new situations. It is useful to think about the difference between the external aspects of change and people's internal reactions to change.

The concept of transformation is very important to understand why it is often difficult for us to adapt our mentality and behavior to changing situations.

1, the psychodynamics of transformation

Why is the first stage of transformation so difficult?

A\ The most important point is that all changes, whether welcome or not, mean the end of the past way of doing things. As long as there is an end, it means a loss.

Change also means uncertainty.

Loss and uncertainty can lead to anxiety and vulnerability, so changes at work are usually considered as a threat.

D\ Our brain programs respond to threats by building defenses.

F\ We will enter the state of fighting, running away and being frozen, and make ourselves feel safe with unconscious psychological defense mechanism.

As a result, people become difficult to get along with, in different ways-some complain and criticize, while others show resentment and distress in a more subtle way through actions and body language. When the participants are in the same state, these negative emotions will be amplified, leading to a decline in motivation, morale and productivity. If too many employees are in trouble, organizational change will not be effective.

2. Three-stage model of transformation

A\ mourn the loss-put it down.

B\ moderation-accept the end of the past, but feel uncertain. The solution is to create more opportunities for participation.

C\ Start over-start investment, but there are still uncertainties, and gradually invest in new facts.

3, about the transformation of leaders.

A\ Pay attention to internal transformation, and some leaders simply don't notice this emotion.

B\ Most enterprises only pay attention to change, plan and implement new activities, but don't pay attention to transformation, but they don't think about the emotional impact on employees.

C\ Transformation needs a process, that is, it takes time, and team members are not synchronized in the process.

4. The metaphor of marathon

Summary:

1, intangible determines tangible.

2. Emotion is an excellent channel to the subconscious.

3. The real solution is buried deep in the subconscious.

The coach should control his anxiety. (The first time a customer meets a coach, it may be the time when the anxiety level is the highest. The coach should pay attention to the customer's anxiety from the beginning, observe how they reflect and understand what the customer's real emotions are. )

5. A coach should care about and contact customers on the level of humanity.

6. Coaches contribute their own opinions, which can make task-oriented customers feel the value and increase their confidence in the coaching relationship.