Crying, garden wine? Tujia people used to have such weddings.

Time changes: Tujia marriage customs from decline to return

The mountain is very high, and Qianjiang City is the most beautiful river. Qianjiang River, located in the southeast of Chongqing and the hinterland of Wuling Mountain, is known as the "throat of Chongqing and Hubei". Surrounded by mountains, clear water flows west, and the mother river Apeng River lovingly nourishes people in this land. In this ancient and thick land, Tujia, Miao, Han and other ethnic groups live, of which Tujia and Miao account for more than 70%.

As a Tujia girl, in the first 20 years of my life, my life track was mainly between my school and my hometown. My life goes up and time goes forward. I witnessed the evolution of this city with my own eyes. Especially since the beginning of the new century, the development and changes of Qianjiang River are changing with each passing day.

Undeniably, the development of modern civilization has diluted the feelings of the younger generation for their homeland. However, the Tujia traditional marriage customs that remain in my mind are always unforgettable, and they will last forever with the passage of time. ......

From proposing marriage to getting married, every process is full of ritual.

Before the 1990s, the wave of reform and opening-up had not swept inland mountainous areas. At that time, in the vast remote mountainous areas of Qianjiang River, it was normal for young and middle-aged rural people to farm at home with their backs to the loess. There is no TV, and there are no cartoons for children to chase. The only thing I like about Xian Yi, young and old, is watching the fun.

At that time, in the countryside, everyone was busy with their own land, where to "watch the fun"? In addition to weddings, funerals and weddings, the scenes of chasing excitement are also limited. These rituals hide life and death, as well as the ancestral teachings of getting married and starting a family. The etiquette of traditional wedding customs mainly includes marriage proposal, engagement, marriage recognition, garden wine, visiting the church and returning to the door.

"Who wants to marry a daughter" and "Who wants to marry a daughter-in-law" are clearly remembered by all neighbors in a relatively closed rural living environment. Because these days have come, in addition to watching the excitement, there are also seats to eat.

Weddings at that time were not like the special wedding motorcade now. On the first day of the wedding, for the woman, it was "Garden Wine" to entertain relatives and friends to attend her daughter's wedding. The villagers in the eight neighboring villages gathered at home to watch the excitement and felt a little happy.

That night, led by Mr. Ali, he came to the bride's house with a fresh pig, salt tea, Mi Dou and gold and silver jewelry. On the wedding day, early in the morning, a wedding procession composed of young people from neighboring villages took the bar and set out to the bride's house to get married. When the auspicious moment comes, the bride bows to her ancestors, says goodbye to her parents, picks up the chopsticks handed by her sister-in-law, and scatters them in front of the door, which means "giving birth soon". Then the groom carries the bride on the sedan chair, or walks a long way on her back until she leaves his dam.

The groom's family is waiting. Once suona and gongs and drums sound at the entrance of the village, men, women and children will gather on the only way for the couple to go home. My friends and I danced and cheered: "Don't cry, new girl, just walk around the bay and gather the house." After the bride's dowry is passed, she will see colorful flags flying and the bride and groom coming around. The bride's face value, clothes and headdress have all become the focus of discussion.

When they got home, the newlyweds paid tribute to the bride, and then they were sent to the bridal chamber. Missing relatives will go to the bridal chamber to meet the bride. The most important thing is the farmer's flowing water mat. In the huge yard, dozens of wooden tables are lined up, and relatives and friends are seated one after another. "Nine plates and ten bowls" (9 plates, 1 bowl, meaning perfect) are served through exclusive tea trays for neighbors near and far.

At that time, in the wedding ceremony, those who married the woman usually held a banquet for two days, while those who received the daughter-in-law held a banquet for four days. The gift is also very simple. Generally give millet (rice) and corn (corn). Relatives who have a good relationship will not only send food, but also send gifts such as a few feet of cloth and eight pounds of kettle.

Tradition is declining, and modern weddings are highly respected by the new generation.

At that time, the matchmaker was an important medium to promote marriage. My grandmother was introduced by a matchmaker to marry her grandfather. Grandma said that with the consent of her parents, grandpa would come home to pick her up on festivals such as Duanyang and Mid-Autumn Festival. She will also give her sewing suzaku insoles and cloth shoes to her unmarried husband.

Grandma said her boudoir is on the east side of the diaojiao building. The night before the wedding, she couldn't help crying, commonly known as "crying marriage". Seemingly crying, in fact, she expressed her thoughts about her parents, relatives and people. Now, decades have passed, and grandma still remembers the "crying ten sisters" of that year.

What is "crying ten sisters"? Even the girls who love each other in Tujia mountain village will come to the boudoir to "cry with them" and call them "ten weeping sisters". Tears flow with emotions, emotions flow with songs, people sit with each other, hide their faces and cry, "cry for parents", "cry for brothers and sisters" and so on. And use crying songs to express their feelings of parting.

Grandma recalled that the "Garden Wine" ceremony on the first night of her wedding was her "head", "face" and "flower". Grandma said that the bride who is crying and dressing up again is like a peach blossom with dew, which looks particularly beautiful.

The mahogany box in my hometown, the double-yang bird-pattern wardrobe and the carved washstand are all grandma's dowry. The floral bedding called "Xilankapu" in Tujia language was also sewn by her mother. Grandma is old and broken, and she can't bear to lose it. She has been with her for decades, ups and downs, giving warmth to her family and witnessing our growth.

My father and mother are free to fall in love. They met during middle school and later came together. The wedding of mom and dad is much simpler than that of grandparents. Mom said that she didn't have a "cry for ten sisters", and the dowry such as cupboards and wardrobes was made by grandpa's carpenter.

Up to now, many people no longer fall in love through matchmakers. Going out to work, knowing and using mobile phone WeChat has become the main way to make friends and fall in love. But when you get married, you will still pretend to be a matchmaker symbolically. The process of getting married has also been simplified. Instead of beating around the bush for a few days, many people choose to hold banquets in the city. This is a western-style wedding process, and the traditional wedding ceremony is completed in one meal.

People with better conditions can realize "private customization" of the form and venue of the wedding. Lawn weddings and church weddings have gradually become popular in Qianjiang, and traditional weddings on rural courtyards and dams are becoming less and less. At the new wedding, the bride wears a white wedding dress and changes into a red cheongsam when toasting. The sweet smile is very touching, but it is difficult to see the hand-sewn wedding dress.

Modern and fashionable wedding performances have replaced the previous "Blowing Eight Immortals". The combination of drum sets, guitars, singers and dancers, as well as passionate performances, can attract people's attention more than just playing the "Eight Immortals" of hearing. Many masters who play the Eight Immortals, as they grow older, fewer and fewer people invite them. In the eyes of the masters who play the Eight Immortals, their skills may be completely forgotten in a few decades.

The development of industrial civilization has promoted standardization and mass production. At present, wedding supplies and dowry are bought from shops. Previously hand-made cabinets, wardrobes and washstands are being replaced by cars, houses and electrical appliances. In the traditional Tujia wedding, relatives and friends will send flowers, quilts, corn, rice and so on. Now it's almost red.

Although marriage etiquette such as marriage proposal and engagement is complicated, it is an important way of interpersonal communication under the background of farming age. Nowadays, modern lifestyles have played down these processes. The simplification of the wedding process has greatly reduced the fatigue of the host family, but for young people who have grown up in the new era, they always feel that they lack a sense of traditional wedding ceremony and a sense of identity with national culture.

Riding the east wind of tourism, the traditional Tujia marriage custom culture is returning.

After entering the new century, the spring breeze of reform and opening up blew the land of China. In addition to studying at school, almost all young people in rural areas go out to work to earn money, and they abandon the land they have cultivated for a long time. What is left in the countryside now is the "386 199" troops (women, the elderly and children), which almost represents the living conditions of the villagers, and some incredible problems have appeared.

With the hollowing out of the countryside, the decline of the countryside is inevitable, and the Tujia wedding full of ritual under traditional conditions is dying out under the impact of modern culture. Traditional wedding dresses, wedding processes, customs and taboos have become antiques, which can only be seen in cultural centers and museums.

The highlight of Tujia wedding custom is "Weeping Wedding Song", which used to be sung by Tujia girls. The better she sings, the more people are moved to tears, which shows that the better the girl's moral character is, the more filial she is. However, Tujia girls are becoming more and more fashionable nowadays. Few people will listen to the crying wedding songs and stories of grandma and grandma's generation, and no one will learn this tearful ceremony that reflects the country's deep feelings.

Fortunately, tourism development in Qianjiang has been in full swing in recent years, and the rise of eco-tourism and ethnic tourism has revived the declining Tujia marriage customs. Today's young people, through this experiential folk tourism, not only achieve the purpose of comfort and happiness, but also re-recognize the rich traditional Tujia marriage culture.

Taking Zhuoshui ancient town in Qianjiang as an example, in recent years, a series of folk tourism activities, such as "Tujia Daughter's Club" and "Selection of the Most Beautiful Tujia Girl", which are created by the government, led by the market, driven by enterprises and sung by culture, have formed well-known tourism brands and attracted tourists from far and near.

The original ecological wedding ceremony turned into a performance on the stage, which made the local people feel a little lost and sighed. "The times have changed, and the previous marriage customs can't stand it!" Some old people lamented. There are also some young people who admire this. Only through these performances can we know the road and experience that our parents and grandparents have gone through.

In tourist attractions, many young people work in coastal cities and return to their hometowns to make a fortune by eating tourist meals. Xiao Guo, a post-90s youth who runs a restaurant and homestay in Shisanzhai, Tujia, said: "The marriage customs of the old people are too troublesome, but earning money as a folk performance is also the welfare left by our ancestors."

For tourists, seeking excitement and unfamiliar foreign culture is the main motivation for traveling. Many tourists visit the Thirteen Villages of Tujia nationality in Qianjiang for the Tujia wedding represented by "crying marriage". During this period, the original ecological green pollution-free Tujia cuisine is also an important factor to attract tourists.

A tourist friend from Beijing told me: "I didn't expect Tujia people to get married so grandly." Much more interesting than modern weddings. " Interesting, interesting and distinctive, this is the Tujia wedding image in their eyes. The diaojiao building near the mountain and the water also makes many tourists from afar intoxicated and obsessed with Tujia people's living environment.

Postscript:

It is from ancient customs that modern civilization has absorbed nutrition, which has been passed down from generation to generation and is endless. With the passage of time, the traditional Tujia marriage custom has gone from decline to return, which also makes people truly feel that this cultural form is no longer a simple formal imitation, but respects the hidden feelings and ways of thinking behind the marriage custom of Tujia ancestors. It connects the hearts of Tujia children and should be recognized and protected. The more national it is, the more precious it is. Protecting and revitalizing Tujia traditional marriage customs is also an important way to enrich the connotation of Chinese national culture and enhance cultural centripetal force.