There is a phenomenon in the countryside. Red things don't help, and white things try to retreat. Why?

In recent years, I have come to the city from the countryside, and I really have a deep understanding of the views on weddings, funerals and weddings. The importance of weddings and funerals is really different.

I grew up in a big family. In recent years, before I got married, my family had to hold at least two weddings every year, and my uncles and aunts were very busy. In recent years, because the previous generation has reached seventy years old, time waits for no one, and nothing has happened.

I'm really busy in the city, and I have a primary school child to pick up. You have to worry about something at home. I basically made a trip for nothing, but I didn't make a trip for nothing. Why? I think the white thing is more serious and exquisite than the red thing, mainly because you go back to mourn your deceased relatives, which shows that you are very filial to your elders and it is impolite not to participate. There is not so much attention to the red incident. You can send blessings on the phone in advance and give a little money, and your family will never blame you. Welcome everyone to leave a message and interact.

There is a phenomenon in the countryside that red things don't help, and white things have to go far. Why?

Every year in the twelfth lunar month, weddings and funerals in the village are often surprisingly many. Many families can't even attend all weddings and funerals, so they can only ask others to bring gifts, which is also a courtesy. Most of the happy events are mainly because many people are working outside the home, and only during the Spring Festival can they have time to go home and get married. The main reason is that many elderly people in winter, because of the temperature, their own physique and other reasons, the body's various functions seriously decline, and eventually die. For many old people, winter is very difficult.

The red things don't help, and the white things have to go.

Many people don't have much time to attend all the weddings and funerals because of their own affairs, and it is impossible for every household to help, but they usually attend all the white things. After all, "the dead are the biggest", and many old people have to give their old relatives and friends a ride even if it is inconvenient. Generally speaking, there are many people who help the red incident. Now many happy events are held in hotels, but white events are basically held in their own homes, and the time is long, so there will be many more people who need help and need the help of relatives and friends.

What factors affect attending weddings and funerals?

Some red activities should be attended even if they are thousands of miles apart, and some white activities are not attended even at home. The main influencing factors are: First, the distance of the relationship, the so-called distance, the same family will be divided into relatives and non-relatives, not to mention friends in the same village, close relatives will participate, and those who are selected will not have to participate; Second, do you have any interests with yourself? There is a saying that "the rich have distant relatives in the mountains, and the poor have no name in the downtown area." If you have enough value, others will definitely come to your home to attend the wedding, which is also a way to curry favor with you.

In rural areas, it is essential to help villagers do a good job in weddings, funerals and weddings. Therefore, we should have a good relationship with the villagers at ordinary times, so that many people will be willing to help, otherwise I am afraid it will be very embarrassing. Generally, as long as someone is invited to attend the white event, someone will definitely go, because after all, there is a funeral at home, so relatives and friends will also give support, and the red event will become a peacetime relationship.

There is a phenomenon in the countryside. Red things don't help, and white things try to retreat. Why?

China has a vast territory and different folk customs. However, the custom of "red things are called, white things arrive" is almost universal throughout the country. Everything is red, everything is white. Why is the difference so big?

A young father-in-law is from Guangxi and has worked in Fujian for many years. Almost every year, I have to go back and forth because of the white things in the village. I have to drive back and forth for two days and two nights. With the help of the village, I will take at least four or five days off. The round-trip fare of seven or eight hundred, plus the lost time, is nearly two thousand less, and people are still very tired. There are also gifts sent home for nothing that can't reach 200 yuan.

Once, I was curious and asked my father-in-law if he wanted to go back and give more money instead. The old father-in-law said angrily: it's not about money, the deceased is the biggest, and it's human nature to send the last journey! If the village or relatives hold red activities, it makes sense to send gifts back at the end of the year and then go back to other people's homes.

Actually, it's similar in my hometown in Fujian. The red one doesn't want to help, and the white one doesn't want to come uninvited.

If there is a happy event at home, the host family should come to the door at least half a month in advance, or formally send an invitation. If the notice is not in place, it must be the courtesy of the host family. Some relatives will be found fault with the host family if they notice late. Ask the deacon for help at home and say hello in advance, or no one will help you.

If it's a white matter at home, the villagers will know as long as firecrackers ring and people cry in the ancestral hall. Everyone in the village came to help, borrowing bowls and pots to sew mourning clothes, and they were very busy. They say that good things don't go out, and bad things spread thousands of miles. Often in a few days, friends and relatives from all over the country know about it, and they will come to pay homage, carrying sesame oil and wrapping candles (white gifts).

It is worth mentioning that the red gift can be made up later, that is, if you forget it on the day of the wedding reception, you can make it up later; Candle gifts for white things must be given before the funeral, and they can never be mended later. If you go to someone else to fill in the blanks in the future, it will be tantamount to cursing the death of others in the main family and not being beaten out by the broom of the main family!

Why is there such a situation that "red things are called and white things are done"? One thing is that the deceased is a great influence of traditional culture; Second, there are relatives in the main family who have passed away, and there are not enough people in the family to leave.

The above is a personal opinion, for reference only. How to treat the folk custom of "calling for red things and arriving for white things"? Welcome to leave a message, criticize, correct and supplement.

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A brother's "vulgar social vision"—

? ? Why do white things come uninvited?

There is a saying in the northern countryside that "red invitation is not available, and white invitation is not available". Simply put, it means "You can get a red invitation for nothing" and "You don't blame others for their red gifts, but they don't accept Bai Li". In fact, the same is true. The old man has passed away, so friends and relatives had better find someone to help, and don't wait for others' invitation or formal notice. Although customs vary from place to place, most of them are established for the following reasons.

First, respect. Going to the grave in person to offer condolences and help is a respect for the elderly and their families. The countryside is a personal society, and generations with the same surname are all family members. Children and grandchildren within five clothes must go. A little farther away is also a surname. Less than 500 years ago, people with different surnames looked up and looked down. They helped each other for many years and generations. Old people who respect others are also old people who respect themselves. "Older than me, older than others" is generally recognized by society, and even some grievances disappear without a trace in a funeral. Not being invited is also a respect for you. People wear heavy filial piety clothes, so they should avoid suspicion when they come to the door.

Secondly, cohesion, funeral is a collective cooperation and division of labor. A dirty word tells the reason, "Your father is dead. This is not a pig killed by one person." The writing is not rough. The average old man died, from the "big prime minister" in charge to the "white-collar workers" such as concierge, welcoming guests, knowing guests, master of ceremonies and ceremony tables, who were in charge of the kitchen, shopping and ceremony tables. There are "logistics personnel" such as chairs, tables, chairs, tea, cigarettes, sanitation and cleaning, and "back office personnel" who return gifts, tear and send filial piety cloth, and inform the "intelligence personnel" who run errands to check the number of guests and vehicles. At least a dozen people, it is impossible without them.

The third is prestige. The funeral of the elderly in rural areas is actually a great event that people in the whole village or several nearby villages do their best, and it is also an affirmation of the reputation of the deceased and their families. Although it is said now that "money makes the mare go", it really can't be done at a funeral. We have an example that has been handed down to this day. A big official never cares about his hometown, and the cadres and neighbors of the brigade never "close the door" or even send beggars. When firecrackers rang, someone came uninvited. His house rang three times, watching from a distance, and finally kowtowed from door to door, and everyone was locked up. Later, he really paid someone to bury his father hastily.

Fourth, it is to buy roads. People in China pay attention to reciprocity. You give me a foot, I'll give you a foot back. No one hung up the inspection-free card. Everyone has to go this time. In fact, to put it bluntly, it is to buy a road for your home. When they have their own old people and drive cranes, it is also a reward for others' busyness and a way for themselves.

The red event is expected, please ask in advance, the white event will come down, and the cannon will come. The deep sadness and joy flow with family, friendship, nostalgia and human feelings, which is a blend of tradition, culture and blood.

Happy event Dont Ask For Help. This is a custom in the countryside. A village is so big that generations have lived here. Even if the relationship is not good, he must go, because you will get old one day and you will not arrive until you meet someone else. This is the affection of farmers. If there is a happy event in your family, you should invite people from door to door to drink your wedding banquet and smoke your cigarettes. Of course, you won't go without asking others. Most of the white things are done by men, mainly to help. As for what to do, what to do is arranged by the general manager. If you can't arrange it, it belongs to the floating personnel, and you can move where you need it. I am a gunman in our village. I shoot everything.

There is a phenomenon in the countryside. Red things don't help, and white things try to retreat. Why?

There are two mistakes in this statement. One is that Redstone doesn't help, which is wrong. As long as Hongshi holds a wedding banquet in the countryside, like marrying a daughter-in-law, the villagers will come to help and make a scene. It is somewhat arbitrary to say no to help. The other is that people will go back no matter how far they go. This is also wrong. Nowadays, rural people are beginning to smell a little copper smell. They are not white things in the clan, but people don't return with the ceremony. But if they are in the clan, most people will come back. This is the current situation in rural areas.

What the subject may want to express is, why do rural people tend to help white things and ignore red things? What is the reason? Farmer analysis may be caused by the following reasons.

First, people are dead.

I don't know if you have watched the TV series "Big Rivers" recently. The old books and records in the play can be said to be dedicated to Xiao Lei's family. There are a large number of old books and records from the beginning of dividing fields, to the kiln factory in Houcun, and then to the glory of Xiao Lei family. Later, because he embezzled the interests of the brick factory, he was reported by Four Treasures of the Study, and he was extremely remorseful and finally chose to end his life.

After that, Ji put people's death in the first place, and didn't investigate the mistakes of old Ji Shu. A grand funeral was also held in the village. One of the reasons why I especially like this drama is that it really interprets some humanistic feelings in the countryside, and portrays Xiao Lei's family as the real countryside, with village women gossiping, a bunch of nosy old men, hooligans in the village and many young people with ideas. This kind of countryside is too real. The true rural feelings that even people died for the big ones are also vividly portrayed.

Yes, rural people died miserably. Even if the whole village quarrels with each other, once something goes wrong, most people will put aside their grievances and come to help. And the whole thing is in good order, and all kinds of customs and etiquette are in no hurry. No matter how far away the clan is, they will come back before the day when the old man is buried to see him off for the last time. This is also a respect for the deceased. It's not the ceremony, it's the red. If people don't come back, the ceremony will do.

So no matter how far away, going back is a respect for the dead, and people are dead.

Second, helping others is helping yourself.

If a rural person is away from home all the year round and the old people in the village die, they always refuse to go back or even accompany them on the grounds of work or other reasons. What will happen to this man's family in the future? Who will help? To put it bluntly, your old man is dead. Can't you carry him out by yourself? It doesn't matter whether it is red or not. You can put wine in the hotel without help, but it's definitely not for nothing.

Third, custom, a kind of inheritance.

There is an old saying that "red things please, white things arrive". Since ancient times, white things in rural areas have been paid more attention than red things. This is a kind of inheritance, a reverence for life and a memory of the dead. No one in the village will talk about those who work outside the home. Even if you have a big red envelope, the villagers will gossip as long as you have family members in the village.

Summary: There are three fundamental reasons why rural people attach importance to white things: helping others is helping themselves, which is a kind of inheritance. Personally, I think this custom is still very good, at least it can narrow the distance between people.

For people who have lived in the countryside for a long time, getting married or not is a big deal. No matter who has a wedding, it is a beautiful scenery in the village. As long as you live in the countryside, you will find that some people will not come to help without invitation; If there is a funeral, there is no one at home, no matter how far it is, go home, and go after the funeral. In fact, there is a reason for this:

First, this is a custom handed down from the countryside.

After all, generations of villagers have looked up but not down, and there will be exchanges anyway. There are only a few families in the village, and the elderly who have been ill for a long time have long heard about it. Even if something unexpected happens, it will spread all over the village in a flash. As a mourner, I worked hard to wait on my illness and was busy with the arrangements for the aftermath. Even if you want to invite your neighbors, you can't afford them for the time being. Neighbors may have experienced funerals and have personal feelings, so they come uninvited. Who has not been helped by relatives and deceased neighbors, saying that it is help, but not returning the favor, passed down from generation to generation, has gradually become a custom to be continued.

The second is a kind of respect for the deceased.

Living and living in a village, we all know each other very well, are familiar with each other, and maybe even helped each other. Even if there are some small grievances, these are not that important. The world is separated, everything goes up in smoke, and nothing can be put down. Since they live in the same village, it is inevitable that most of them share the same surname. Going back several generations, there is still some blood. The dead are the greatest. Going in person is both a help and a condolence. See you for the last time and see you off for the last journey. It is not only awe of life, but also respect for the dead.

The third is to "pave the way" for the future.

Most funerals make family members exhausted, so they have no energy and little time to arrange some things; Sometimes things happen suddenly and people will be very sad, but many things need help, so it is not allowed to invite neighbors from door to door. Besides, everyone comes into this world, and one day life will come to an end. Everyone will encounter the same thing, not so much to help others at this time, but to facilitate themselves later.

Fourth, white things can't make up gifts.

That's a thing of the past. The custom of paying with money has a long history and has never changed. Any red incident, if you don't catch up with the trip, don't pay the money in time, or find someone to replace it, or give a red envelope, or make up for it, is called mending your mind, and the families of the victims won't blame it. It's quite happy. I think this is a good sign that I have been smiling. White matter is different, pay attention to is "people to love". I gave the money to the deceased and felt that I didn't respect the deceased enough; Make up afterwards and bring up the sad thing again; It is even more inappropriate to send a WeChat red envelope. White matter is like this. If you don't feel it, it's over When will you pay back what you owe? How can you not feel guilty? So, it's a waste of time to say anything in person.

In fact, in rural areas, "not helping" is not a red matter. To help, the host must personally invite him. And white things don't need to be invited. As long as the village spreads, the villagers will take the initiative to help. This is also a tacit understanding and rule of rural weddings and funerals, that is, "happy events should be invited, and funerals should come uninvited." Then it makes sense to come back no matter how far you meet anything.

@ Refreshing for life

The red wedding can be done or not, and the dead will do the white wedding because they don't. All relatives and friends should go back!

Why can't you come to a happy event in the countryside, but you have to go back for nothing?

Happy events are icing on the cake, and funerals are timely help. Wedding is a happy event that needs everyone's support. * * * We share family happiness. If we are really in a hurry and can't go back, we won't mind the customer sending us a blessing, because what is already happy will not be unhappy because someone doesn't come. Funerals are different. This is a tragedy. Someone in the family died. It is the time when they need comfort from their relatives and friends. This is when they need someone to say something comforting. Moreover, the main family is immersed in grief and needs the help of relatives and friends to arrange the funeral. At this time, if important relatives and friends don't come back, it will be even more chilling.

Photos of the deceased

China values filial piety, while rural people value feelings more. First, everyone has the idea of going back to basics. Although they work in cities, their roots are always in the countryside. Their relatives or people they know are also pinning their feelings and missing the homesickness when they go home after the accident. One is the living habits of a family of thousands of helpers formed in the countryside for thousands of years. The strength of a family is always small. Everyone has an old man, and everyone will encounter sadness, which needs mutual help.

Pictures of the upcoming funeral.

Another reason is that there is a custom of funeral in rural areas; There is a saying that when an old man dies, his spirit will stop for a few days. Relatives and friends from generation to generation will kowtow to the spirit one or two days before burial. Relatives of the older generation and grandchildren of the next generation will go, and good friends will definitely come to bid farewell to the deceased. During this period, the filial son and grandson will also bow down and thank relatives and friends for offering this column of incense and this cup of wine to the deceased, thanking them for their friendship.

Photos taken during burial.

The red event is a happy event. Many people and few people can do it. There's usually nothing to help. Women and children can do it. White things are different. There must be many people, but not enough. There must also be great labor. My aunt is there. Everyone in their village has gone out to work and do business. When you meet something white, you must go home. It turned out that the village was small, and dozens of families were buried to carry coffins up the mountain. The road to the cemetery should be leveled first. When the coffin was carried that day, a group of people, many of whom were twice as many, were able to walk behind, and it took almost forty or fifty years.