When my son/kloc-was 0/4 years old, I became a mother from scratch, and I didn't know how hard it was to be a parent until I experienced it.

In 2020, a sudden epidemic made us unexpected. On the day when children were supposed to go to school, they were confined to their homes and offered unprecedented online courses.

At that time, my son in the second day of junior high school was an excellent teenager who actively loved learning. However, the epidemic and online classes have changed everything. It seems that the sky is suddenly dark and I can't breathe.

Countless days and nights, tears and heartache accompanied me, and no one could understand my inner fear. Self-righteous mother who knows her children and has rich parenting experience was completely beaten down this year.

In the past 10 years of parenting experience, it can be said that it is smooth sailing. Children are obedient and sensible, eager to learn, have unique and advanced hobbies, and everyone loves them.

I have met many parents who are anxious about their children. I couldn't figure it out before. Is it so difficult to raise children? Really only after experience can we understand how hard it is to be a parent!

Being a parent is not as simple as giving birth to a child and letting him eat and drink. At some point, the most difficult period will always come. There is a feeling of "not reporting, not yet".

My son doesn't listen carefully in class. Even though the teacher monitored him online, he watched the rocket launch. Homework is not serious, not on time, and he will not follow the steps after being urged by the teacher countless times. The results quickly fell from the upper reaches to the middle reaches, and young people who have been admitted to key high schools also need to make two preparations.

In May, my son ushered in his 14 years old, and at that moment, it was earth-shaking change. I am willing to listen to my mother. From then on, seeing my mother was like seeing an enemy.

As Mai Jia said, being with an adolescent son is like being with a tiger. Be careful what you say, for fear of offending him and making him angry.

I also deeply understand what Professor Li Meijin said. After 12 years old, parents' words are rubbish. Fortunately, my son was two years late.

In June, classes finally resumed, but my son didn't want to go to school. He is used to the freedom at home and feels uncomfortable at school.

Sometimes I have conflicts with my classmates, sometimes I contradict my teacher, and being late is more common. Let him go early, he said "no", and he was extremely tired of learning. It's like making a mistake on purpose, finding a reason to play truant.

We will face the WAT exam in July. Seeing his state, the teacher and we are all worried about him, but he doesn't feel the urgency of time himself.

After the Dragon Boat Festival, my son suddenly fell ill and didn't go to school for 10 days. I really felt sorry for my child at that time. As long as he is healthy, it doesn't matter what he gets in the exam. Any good high school or university is just a cloud.

However, after his son got well, he began to exert himself in his studies. After two weeks of hard work, Watt got three A's in one fell swoop, English, Geography and Biology. He said he regretted not applying for physics, otherwise it would be better to get an A earlier.

September is the third day. I thought my son would gain self-confidence after getting three A's and be able to devote himself to his studies better, but he didn't.

I have been on vacation every week for the past four months, and I have hardly been there early. Psychological problems, physical problems, all kinds of unexpected things, I don't know where the sun rises the next day every day.

65438+ February, finally ushered in the dawn, my son suddenly knew that he had studied, and his monthly exam results improved greatly, even the Chinese in the way had the ability to get an A.

14 years old soon passed, and his rebellion will eventually become a thing of the past. It is an episode of life. This thrilling year will be sealed in memory forever.

In the face of problem children, is it only to give up? Never!

I remember the doctor's father Cai Xiaoxiao said that the child is his own, and you don't care who cares.

What parents have to do is to help their children get out of trouble. Even if he treats you as an enemy, you can't treat him as an enemy. Observe the child and see what he really needs.

As mentioned in Children from the Stars, effective discipline lies not in condemning children's bad behavior, but in beginning to understand their behavior.

Reflect on your behavior, is there anything wrong, but there is no need to feel guilty. Find appropriate coping strategies, actively communicate with children, and make everything change from bad to good.

Psychologist Chen Mo said in his speech that children in China have changed and parents have not kept pace.

I am a parent who has not kept up with the changes of children. I'm still asking and managing children in the old way. It is natural for children not to listen.

I know that the knowledge and experience in the past can no longer be used for children aged 14. We need to start from scratch and arm our minds with new knowledge in order to face a changing child.

Professor Hong Lan believes that reading can help us stand on the shoulders of our predecessors, and we don't have to repeat the same mistakes and make the mistakes made by our predecessors.

This year, I have read more than 10 paper books on parenting, and many e-books are countless. Reading allows me to acquire parenting knowledge and understand children.

More importantly, reading makes me put down my anxiety and treat my children with a relaxed attitude. Only when we relax, can we have a relaxed family atmosphere, and children will not be as nervous as pimping.

This year, I regarded myself as a primary school student, learned from education experts and children, and became a mother again from scratch. No nagging, no blame, no comparison, re-establish parent-child relationship.

This year, children grew up in fluctuations, which is not unrelated to our efforts. The cost really doesn't matter, as long as the children change.

First, create a good family atmosphere.

Parents should create a good family atmosphere for their children, which is emphasized by many education experts.

I have never quarreled with the father of the child. The relationship is harmonious and the child can feel it. Dad said that we should be strict with our children, but I saidno. When the children became soft and hard, dad gave up the idea. We discussed how to "deal with" the children together and let them know that their parents attach great importance to him.

The environment at home has also changed, and the room is decorated with flowers, which children can see as soon as they enter the door. I also changed a new bookcase for my child, so that he can put more materials and feel fresh.

Second, give the warmest love when the child is sick.

Children should have more rest when they are ill. Don't worry about your child falling behind in his homework, let him go to school on sick leave.

Once, I saw a sick child with him, playing an infusion bag or bottle and reciting geography with his mother. My son watched his favorite video on his mobile phone. I didn't say "I'll see how hard others work, and then I'll see you", but I didn't see it.

I stopped my child from going to school when he was ill, but I took him to the hospital for a thorough examination. Make sure there is no problem and insist that he rest more.

Children's illness is the most vulnerable time, and it is also the easiest time to listen to adults. At this time, you can take the opportunity to tell your child some psychological words and let your child understand some simple truths.

Third, support children to develop their interests.

Einstein said that interest is the best teacher. Without interest, there is no concentration.

I am very supportive of children's interests. Although I spent a lot of money this year, I am also willing. Because children find the value of self-existence in their passionate interests and gain self-confidence.

My son likes 3D printing. I often ask him to print toys, electrical parts and flowerpots for my brother, so that he can know that his interest is valuable. He is very happy.

I told my teacher about his major and the teacher arranged for him to take part in an experiment. Since then, his learning motivation has returned, which is really a good turning point.

Four or five minutes a day, use psychological knowledge to teach children to face difficult problems.

Some people say that the personality and values of adolescent children have been determined and will not change. That's not right either. Adolescents are still plastic. As long as you are willing to spend time, children will certainly not let you down.

The child used to have social obstacles and was under great psychological pressure. I thought of a way to teach him some psychological knowledge for five minutes every day, so that he can learn to face some difficult problems.

Every day, I will intercept a topic from "Psychological Comics for Primary School Students", arrange it into a language that children can understand, copy it in a notebook and read it to children. Life needs a sense of ritual, and I hope to use this most traditional way of recording to convey information to children.

A month later, my son walked out of the predicament and began to take photos, eat and chat with his classmates on weekends, which changed a lot. For details, please refer to Harvard's 75-year follow-up study: Good interpersonal relationships make children happier and how to improve their social skills.

Fifth, the whole family mobilized to accompany the children in sports.

As mentioned in Raising Boys, the role of father is very important.

Have a deep understanding!

My son's sports performance is not optimistic, and I am even more sports blind. When I let my child exercise at home, he is always reluctant. Dad is a fitness expert, but he works in other places. Later, we thought of a way, dad and we remotely video and exercise at a fixed time.

This method is very good. Every night at 8 o'clock, my father turns on the video on time, and my son and I exercise together. Yoga mats, dumbbells, football and mobile phone stands are all our equipment.

After a period of persistence, my son's body has also undergone some changes, obviously looking thinner, and the school training is no longer so fearful. Dad does it when he has to. As long as he thinks hard, there is no problem that cannot be solved.

Looking at my son's cheerful day by day, my mood is also bright. In this year, although we have experienced many setbacks, we have survived the difficulties resolutely. Nothing is difficult in the world. If you do it with your heart, you will face the challenge with zero mentality, and your child's adolescence will be overcome.